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What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

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    What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

    I am a young adult male and have come to accept I will never find a woman due to the way I look, and due to me not having any real good qualities. I also have chronic multiple sclerosis and I have a certain way that I live life that most could not handle to be around

    I am not a muslim but I am interested in Islam and I dont want to be a slave to judgmental women, feeling like I owe them something or feeling constant inferiority because I am not "enough" for them, I just want to be a slave of God.

    He is my only true friend and I know he loves me and accepts me because he created me, but women today are definitely not like that



    so when I do convert, what is the stance for guys like me who will never be able to find a woman? Is it not a problem?

    #2
    Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

    Originally posted by LostMan View Post
    I am a young adult male and have come to accept I will never find a woman due to the way I look, and due to me not having any real good qualities. I also have chronic multiple sclerosis and I have a certain way that I live life that most could not handle to be around

    I am not a muslim but I am interested in Islam and I dont want to be a slave to judgmental women, feeling like I owe them something or feeling constant inferiority because I am not "enough" for them, I just want to be a slave of God.

    He is my only true friend and I know he loves me and accepts me because he created me, but women today are definitely not like that



    so when I do convert, what is the stance for guys like me who will never be able to find a woman? Is it not a problem?
    The position of Islam is that it is mustahabb (recommended) to get married, if there is no fear of falling into forbidden acts like fornication. However, if there is a fear that you will fall into forbidden acts, then marriage becomes obligatory, in order to protect one's chastity. https://islamqa.info/en/82968

    As for your specific issue, it is not true that you will never find a woman who will accept you. Statistically, there has to be women out there who will. They may not be beautiful or anything, but they must surely exist.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

      OP sounds like non-muslim version of me.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

        Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
        The position of Islam is that it is mustahabb (recommended) to get married, if there is no fear of falling into forbidden acts like fornication. However, if there is a fear that you will fall into forbidden acts, then marriage becomes obligatory, in order to protect one's chastity. https://islamqa.info/en/82968

        As for your specific issue, it is not true that you will never find a woman who will accept you. Statistically, there has to be women out there who will. They may not be beautiful or anything, but they must surely exist.

        ok and well to be honest with you, any woman who has a good heart and any woman who could actually love myself would be beyond beautiful to me, regardless of how she looks. but it would be too hard to find, and i have too many issues. Thank you for your answer.
        i really like your picture

        Comment


          #5
          Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

          Originally posted by Spicen View Post
          OP sounds like non-muslim version of me.
          im guarantee im more screwed up than you but good to know im not alone

          Comment


            #6
            Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

            Originally posted by LostMan View Post
            im guarantee im more screwed up than you but good to know im not alone
            well not sure about the looks part but for sure your views about marriage and unwillingness to be slave of some judgemental woman quite matches my own opinion.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

              Originally posted by LostMan View Post
              ok and well to be honest with you, any woman who has a good heart and any woman who could actually love myself would be beyond beautiful to me, regardless of how she looks. but it would be too hard to find, and i have too many issues. Thank you for your answer.
              i really like your picture
              I won't regurgitate to you some cliche nonsense like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." But you know, trying is better than not trying. If you try, you have a non-zero chance of finding someone. If you don't try, that chance is 0.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

                Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                I won't regurgitate to you some cliche nonsense like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." But you know, trying is better than not trying. If you try, you have a non-zero chance of finding someone. If you don't try, that chance is 0.
                well.. I was being serious.. and going off of what the Prophet of Islam (peace be upon him) told Julaybib.. even though im disgusted by my own self..

                I know Most people wont but I would look at a womans heart rather than her exterior and thats what does it for me personally.. Your perception of a person does not define them and that does give me hope.. But maybe its false hope.. Maybe I am interested in islam for the wrong reasons, I will admit - the brotherhood and acceptance I have seen in Islam is what attracted me.. and I thought just maybe I wouldnt be looked at as such a monster than I already am now in society.. a lot of people seem to be repulsed by me when I go out in public

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

                  you may have to be patient with me.. i am pretty disturbed because of what ive been through.. but i am just looking for some help.. i genuinely do love and accept Islam when its all said and done
                  Last edited by LostMan; 07-09-17, 01:19 AM.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

                    Originally posted by LostMan View Post
                    you may have to be patient with me.. i am pretty disturbed because of what ive been through.. but i am just looking for some help.. i genuinely do love and accept Islam when its all said and done
                    May Allah make things easy for you

                    Brother try not to stress too much, the one who created the heavens and the earth is certainly able to provide you with a spouse so never lose hope

                    Do you want to accept Islam? You sound like you are ready

                    All you have to do is say with your tounge and believe in your heart the following ash hadu anla ilaha illalahu wa ash hadu anna Muhammadan abduhu wa rasuluh

                    This means I bear witness there is no God but Allah and i bear witness Muhammad (sallaho alayhi wa sallam) is his servant and messenger
                    It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
                    "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

                      Originally posted by LostMan View Post
                      you may have to be patient with me.. i am pretty disturbed because of what ive been through.. but i am just looking for some help.. i genuinely do love and accept Islam when its all said and done
                      If you believe in Allah and the Prophet Muhammad(pbuh), then you should convert as soon as possible. You should go to a mosque and ask the imam to help you take the shahadah. Technically you can do it yourself, but I think it's good to do it at a mosque so that other Muslims will welcome you to Islam.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

                        Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post
                        May Allah make things easy for you

                        Brother try not to stress too much, the one who created the heavens and the earth is certainly able to provide you with a spouse so never lose hope

                        Do you want to accept Islam? You sound like you are ready

                        All you have to do is say with your tounge and believe in your heart the following ash hadu anla ilaha illalahu wa ash hadu anna Muhammadan abduhu wa rasuluh

                        This means I bear witness there is no God but Allah and i bear witness Muhammad (sallaho alayhi wa sallam) is his servant and messenger
                        thank you my brother

                        and to Stoic Believer, I do. and I think I will try and get in touch with the Islamic Center near me. I am really nervous though, because it is a social place

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

                          Originally posted by LostMan View Post
                          thank you my brother

                          and to Stoic Believer, I do. and I think I will try and get in touch with the Islamic Center near me. I am really nervous though, because it is a social place
                          It's okay to be nervous. In shaa Allah it'll be fine.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

                            Originally posted by LostMan View Post
                            thank you my brother

                            and to Stoic Believer, I do. and I think I will try and get in touch with the Islamic Center near me. I am really nervous though, because it is a social place
                            Peace & greetings to those who seek guidance

                            here is the needed info as nearly good as approaching an Islamic center. :up:

                            kindly refer to post # 6

                            http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthrea...ons%20post%206
                            My sect - No Sect

                            My Aqeedah - http://legacy.quran.com/112 ( The Aqeedah of Sahabas)

                            Just a Muslim

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: What is Islams stance on not ever getting married?

                              Bismillah
                              Dear brother, I will start this post with something pessimistic but I assure you it will have an optimistic conclusion.

                              We have different circumstances yet find ourselves in the same conclusion. A possibility of marriage is unlikely in this dunya (tho cannot say for certainty since we do not know our fate). Being a Bangladeshi (living abroad) I am unable to find another Bangladeshi lady in my present country who does not bend the deen to suit their needs. My fellow arab colleagues have a term for such - coconut. Deen on the outside but with emptiness and void in the core. And its a pandemic. So I may not be able to marry at all in this dunya (world).

                              Have I given up hope? No. You see, it is in hadith (one can consult sheikh google lol for the exact book for reference) that a woman with seizure came to the Prophet (saws) and asked for his supplication to Allah (god in Arabic) to cure her illness. Our Prophet (saws) replied that she has two choice 1) receive the supplication from him and be cured 2) Not receive the supplication and instead have that illness as a means of her to get into Jannah (heaven). This illustrates the principle of how all illness and calamities are fitna (trials & tribulations) from Allah Az Zawajal in order to 1) Test you and bring your closer to Him, 2) Purify you 3) Prepare you for a good reward coz obviously good follows bad after one is purified.

                              At the end of the day we are both afraid being married off to women who are misguided. But fear not, as brother Esa have stated, the Lord who has created the heavens and earth and our destiny surely can create a human being that is just perfect for us! Must have patience and persevere, one does not always need to wait for Jannah to see Allah's (swt) mercy; you can get Jannah on this planet as well, my brother :) And Allah (swt) knows best.

                              Lastly I would just like to let u know how you have managed to lighten up my day with your post. Being a physician I understand where you are coming from. I know it can get difficult. I am surrounded by muslims yet not every single one love our Creator like you do. MashaAllah Tabarak Allah you have His light already starting to shine in you. Props to you for keeping your chin up and seeking the path of the truth despite your illness. Once you take 1 step towards Allah (swt) He takes 3 steps towards you.

                              Regards



                              Originally posted by LostMan View Post
                              I am a young adult male and have come to accept I will never find a woman due to the way I look, and due to me not having any real good qualities. I also have chronic multiple sclerosis and I have a certain way that I live life that most could not handle to be around

                              I am not a muslim but I am interested in Islam and I dont want to be a slave to judgmental women, feeling like I owe them something or feeling constant inferiority because I am not "enough" for them, I just want to be a slave of God.

                              He is my only true friend and I know he loves me and accepts me because he created me, but women today are definitely not like that



                              so when I do convert, what is the stance for guys like me who will never be able to find a woman? Is it not a problem?
                              Ask yourself why you were created. Do not let society distract you from seeking the truth.
                              Sahih International, 63:3 (Surah Al-Munafiqun)
                              That is because they believed, and then they disbelieved; so their hearts were sealed over, and they do not understand.

                              Comment

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