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Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

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  • Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

    Hi

    I'm new to this forum and what brought me here is I want to seek knowledge as to why my male Muslim colleague does strange things with his eyes when we talk to each other. He's a doctor and I'm his secretary.

    When we speak to each other he never makes direct eye contact. When we converse it's as if he is talking to my forehead or he might direct his eyes over my shoulder. I find this a little unnerving as it's very subtle but for me very strange. He's talking to me but not looking at me. Trouble is this makes me look at his eyes even more to see where they are looking at.

    I wanted to ask him myself why he does this, but have never managed to build up the confidence to do that, and wouldn't want to make him feel awkward as he's a practising Muslim, hence coming here. I'm Christian btw.

    I really hope this isn't a silly question!

  • #2
    Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

    Originally posted by Fifi01 View Post
    Hi

    I'm new to this forum and what brought me here is I want to seek knowledge as to why my male Muslim colleague does strange things with his eyes when we talk to each other. He's a doctor and I'm his secretary.

    When we speak to each other he never makes direct eye contact. When we converse it's as if he is talking to my forehead or he might direct his eyes over my shoulder. I find this a little unnerving as it's very subtle but for me very strange. He's talking to me but not looking at me. Trouble is this makes me look at his eyes even more to see where they are looking at.

    I wanted to ask him myself why he does this, but have never managed to build up the confidence to do that, and wouldn't want to make him feel awkward as he's a practising Muslim, hence coming here. I'm Christian btw.

    I really hope this isn't a silly question!
    I think this is something you should ask him yourself as he knows better why he is doing this than I do.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

      I thought maybe this is "lowering his gaze"??

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

        Originally posted by Fifi01 View Post
        I thought maybe this is "lowering his gaze"??
        Yes it is not permissible for him to look at you.
        You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

        You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

        Comment


        • #5
          Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

          It helps to prevent us from other forbidden acts and I think it's better that way coz when the only persons beauty we look upon is our wife's it'll really be somethin special inshallah
          [SIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][B][U][CENTER]Oh Allah, in your name, I die and live.[/CENTER][/U][/B][/FONT][/SIZE]
          [CENTER]:):lailah::lailah::lailah::lailah::)[/CENTER]

          [B][CENTER]Ya Allah, Grant Me A Heart That Sees[/CENTER][/B]

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

            Originally posted by Fifi01 View Post
            I thought maybe this is "lowering his gaze"??
            It is.

            However, You'll find that many Muslims also do not do it and Muslim scholars have also permitted looking at the opposite gender in such cases like work or school if there are no chances of falling into looking at them with lust. If there is, then it's not permissible to look.
            Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

            "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
            - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

              So it's actually a respectful act then?

              He's protecting himself whilst also showing respect towards me? If that's what it means then that's Amazingly beautiful.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

                Originally posted by Fifi01 View Post
                So it's actually a respectful act then?

                He's protecting himself whilst also showing respect towards me? If that's what it means then that's Amazingly beautiful.
                Yes, the way you describe it that is most likely what he is doing.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

                  Originally posted by Fifi01 View Post
                  So it's actually a respectful act then?

                  He's protecting himself whilst also showing respect towards me? If that's what it means then that's Amazingly beautiful.
                  Yeah.
                  Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

                  "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
                  - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

                    What a good muslim man Mash Allah
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

                      Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                      What a good muslim man Mash Allah
                      Allah has willed it!
                      https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

                      Ephemeral reader

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

                        Originally posted by Fifi01 View Post
                        So it's actually a respectful act then?

                        He's protecting himself whilst also showing respect towards me? If that's what it means then that's Amazingly beautiful.
                        yeah it is

                        Nice to see you`ve understood hun
                        "O you who are patient! Bear a little, just a little more remains
                        :sorrow:

                        Enter your emotion and it gives you a dua!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

                          Thanks all.

                          This act alone, which this man has been doing for at least the past 12 months, his behaviour, good character etc Has shown me the direct beauty of Islam which I think I will now embrace.

                          If everyone did this, ie lowering their gaze, then more people like me would ask more questions and seek more knowledge.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

                            Originally posted by Kiro View Post
                            Allah has willed it!

                            If Allah has willed it, then has he also willed it for me to now embrace Islam?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Eye contact between colleagues - or not......

                              Originally posted by Fifi01 View Post
                              If Allah has willed it, then has he also willed it for me to now embrace Islam?
                              It says islam on your profile.

                              Do you believe in Allah the one and only and the final messenger of Allah the Almighty is Muhammad peace be upon him? Also, Allah has no partners, he The most gracious does not have children. He is not like human beings.
                              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                              Comment

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