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Temptations is a Pain

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  • Temptations is a Pain

    First of I'm single, and still a virgin. It's really annoying to know that I can't do the things I want to do because of the consequences in the grave, and in the afterlife. I'm patient, but it's quite frustrating. I'm in my early 20's and I really want to get a girlfriend. The funny thing is I can easily get one, but once I do the shaytan has won, and I lost. I've been battling these temptations for a long time. I even had a roommate offer his room to me, but I couldn't go with it in the end. Anyways my situation is tough. I've read the multiple Hadiths that are out there. How can a muslim man get married to a muslim woman without even getting to know the person first. At first I thought that's what dating is for, you meet the girl you get to know her, but you can't go to stage 2. I know you have to bring along one of her relatives along on the date, because if two people go on a date the third being is the shaytan. Now to the point sorry for dragging this question, but if I get some feelings for a muslim woman, how can I convey that I'm interested without actually sinning. By the way I have never kissed a girl in my life. Besides my mother on the cheek. I want to know what I can do, if anyone can help me. That would be great. Thanks for reading this.

  • #2
    Re: Temptations is a Pain

    Originally posted by WiseDragon View Post
    First of I'm single, and still a virgin. It's really annoying to know that I can't do the things I want to do because of the consequences in the grave, and in the afterlife. I'm patient, but it's quite frustrating. I'm in my early 20's and I really want to get a girlfriend. The funny thing is I can easily get one, but once I do the shaytan has won, and I lost. I've been battling these temptations for a long time. I even had a roommate offer his room to me, but I couldn't go with it in the end. Anyways my situation is tough. I've read the multiple Hadiths that are out there. How can a muslim man get married to a muslim woman without even getting to know the person first. At first I thought that's what dating is for, you meet the girl you get to know her, but you can't go to stage 2. I know you have to bring along one of her relatives along on the date, because if two people go on a date the third being is the shaytan. Now to the point sorry for dragging this question, but if I get some feelings for a muslim woman, how can I convey that I'm interested without actually sinning. By the way I have never kissed a girl in my life. Besides my mother on the cheek. I want to know what I can do, if anyone can help me. That would be great. Thanks for reading this.
    MashAllah, that you have not given into your desires because by giving in is only going to cause you regret and guilt. But you haven't given in and amazing rewards await you :) and that reward very well may include the girl of your dreams. I know I sound so corny, but seriously. Allah rewards those who are patient and obey His commands, He rewards them with more than they could EVER imagine. What to do? hmmm...speak to her wali? :D
    Indeed we belong to Allah,
    and indeed to Him we will return.


    Quran 2:156

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    • #3
      Re: Temptations is a Pain

      :salams

      Ask your parents to find you a wife.
      Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

      "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
      - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

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      • #4
        Re: Temptations is a Pain

        Narrated 'Alqama:

        While I was walking with `Abdullah he said, "We were in the company of the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) and he said, 'He who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him refrain from looking at other women, and save his private parts from committing illegal sexual relation; and he who cannot afford to marry is advised to fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual power."

        [Sahih Al-Bukhaari Hadith No. 1905]
        Watch those eyes

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        • #5
          Re: Temptations is a Pain

          Originally posted by ZeeshanParvez View Post
          Narrated 'Alqama:

          While I was walking with `Abdullah he said, "We were in the company of the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) and he said, 'He who can afford to marry should marry, because it will help him refrain from looking at other women, and save his private parts from committing illegal sexual relation; and he who cannot afford to marry is advised to fast, as fasting will diminish his sexual power."

          [Sahih Al-Bukhaari Hadith No. 1905]
          It's the age brother. We have made marriage so difficult. Adultery on the other hand is so easy specially in the west. It is a jihad against nafs to avoid these temptations.
          Winning an argument doesn't mean you're on truth, losing an argument doesn't mean you're on falsehood.

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          • #6
            Re: Temptations is a Pain

            Originally posted by WiseDragon View Post
            First of I'm single, and still a virgin. It's really annoying to know that I can't do the things I want to do because of the consequences in the grave, and in the afterlife. I'm patient, but it's quite frustrating. I'm in my early 20's and I really want to get a girlfriend. The funny thing is I can easily get one, but once I do the shaytan has won, and I lost. I've been battling these temptations for a long time. I even had a roommate offer his room to me, but I couldn't go with it in the end. Anyways my situation is tough. I've read the multiple Hadiths that are out there. How can a muslim man get married to a muslim woman without even getting to know the person first. At first I thought that's what dating is for, you meet the girl you get to know her, but you can't go to stage 2. I know you have to bring along one of her relatives along on the date, because if two people go on a date the third being is the shaytan. Now to the point sorry for dragging this question, but if I get some feelings for a muslim woman, how can I convey that I'm interested without actually sinning. By the way I have never kissed a girl in my life. Besides my mother on the cheek. I want to know what I can do, if anyone can help me. That would be great. Thanks for reading this.
            REALITY IS BLEAK!:crushed:

            The world is under the order of Tawaghit, of those who impose themselves upon the world as false gods, causing injustice, chaos, corruption.

            I deeply sympathize for children who must grow up in this era. Women are being raised to emulate men, and men are being raised to emulate women. And both are being tempted by transgenderism, transsexualism, androgyny.
            Allahumma, aranee al haqqu haqqan wa arzuqnee itiba`ahu, wa aranee al baatilu baatilaan wa arzuqnee ijtinaabahu.Oh Allah! show us the truth as true, and inspire us to follow it. Show us falsehood as falsehood, and inspire us to abstain from it.
            " Do you know what destroys Islam? A mistake made by a scholar, the argument of a hypocrite in writing and the ruling of leaders who wish for people to stray

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            • #7
              Re: Temptations is a Pain

              Originally posted by ninety1daisies View Post
              MashAllah, that you have not given into your desires because by giving in is only going to cause you regret and guilt. But you haven't given in and amazing rewards await you :) and that reward very well may include the girl of your dreams. I know I sound so corny, but seriously. Allah rewards those who are patient and obey His commands, He rewards them with more than they could EVER imagine. What to do? hmmm...speak to her wali? :D
              Since you're a sister you can help me out. I met this muslim woman, but I can't date her because it's not permissible. So how can I get to know her without falling into temptations. I know you can text, but that's just falling into another of Shaytan's trap. So any help would be great.

              Sorry for the late reply. :)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Temptations is a Pain

                Originally posted by WiseDragon View Post
                Since you're a sister you can help me out. I met this muslim woman, but I can't date her because it's not permissible. So how can I get to know her without falling into temptations. I know you can text, but that's just falling into another of Shaytan's trap. So any help would be great.

                Sorry for the late reply. :)
                if this is a girl that you can actually see as your wife, then i think the only way you can get to know her is by speaking to her father. that is the Islamic way to do it. And me being a girl, i would think if a guy is really serious about me, he would not waste time and just go to my father immediately.
                Indeed we belong to Allah,
                and indeed to Him we will return.


                Quran 2:156

                Comment

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