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Heartbreak and Qadr

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  • Heartbreak and Qadr

    As-salamu alaykum

    I am going through a really tough time recently.

    I was in a relationship for 6 years, and this relationship was toxic, the man beat me, put me down, lowered me in every way possible. I stayed because he was my first relationship, and to not shame my face, nor my family. However, I could not do it anymore, and I left the relarionship and turned to Allah (swt).

    I then met another man, my family proposed him to me, and we started to speak, we kept things halal this time, but in the long run, he ended up breaking my heart even more than the first man, because I truly fell in love with him, and I loved him for the sake of Allah.

    I am now angry, and my iman is low, because I do not understand why I was put through thjs heartache twice. I know Allah's wisdom is beyond our capacity, and He knows why He wrote in my Qadr, and why. But I just cannot grasp this, my heart hurts, and I cry day and night. I cannot sleep at night till 6am due to crying, and when I wake up, I don't want to wake up due to the anxiety I feel. I know Allah breaks our plans if He can see they're going to break us, but why write that man in my fate.

    I will never kill myself, but I literally wish sometimes Allah will take my soul because I cannot stand the heartache, nor the anxiety.

    I am finding it hard to grasp why this was written, and why I am suffering so bad.

  • #2
    Re: Heartbreak and Qadr

    Sometimes we inflict pain on ourselves...were both of these relationships halal?
    Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Heartbreak and Qadr

      :wswrwb:

      Originally posted by shay5 View Post
      Sometimes we inflict pain on ourselves...were both of these relationships halal?
      this ^
      sigpic

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Heartbreak and Qadr

        Originally posted by shay5 View Post
        Sometimes we inflict pain on ourselves...were both of these relationships halal?
        The first one at first wasn't halal, but then we decided to do it the right way, still failed. Second relationship was halal throughout

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Heartbreak and Qadr

          Originally posted by ash_j13 View Post
          The first one at first wasn't halal, but then we decided to do it the right way, still failed. Second relationship was halal throughout
          So the first one was a boyfriend and the second was a husband? Just clarify before I advise you..
          Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Heartbreak and Qadr

            m sad today because i really loved someone - and i mean i really loved this person - more than anyone can imagine. I started talking to him with intentions to marry but then things didn't work out the way i wanted them to. i wanted him to meet my parents but he assured me now wasn't the time but ONE DAY. We didnt have a phsyical relationship as we both never wanted to sin. His promise of one day went on for 4 years .... during these four years i nagged him about marriage bcus i knew how much love i had in my heart for him. 5 months ago he told me he was getting married without giving me an explanation and yesterday i saw pictures of his wedding. IM HURTING SO MUCH PLEASE HELP ME.

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            • #7
              Re: Heartbreak and Qadr

              Originally posted by xaxa View Post
              m sad today because i really loved someone - and i mean i really loved this person - more than anyone can imagine. I started talking to him with intentions to marry but then things didn't work out the way i wanted them to. i wanted him to meet my parents but he assured me now wasn't the time but ONE DAY. We didnt have a phsyical relationship as we both never wanted to sin. His promise of one day went on for 4 years .... during these four years i nagged him about marriage bcus i knew how much love i had in my heart for him. 5 months ago he told me he was getting married without giving me an explanation and yesterday i saw pictures of his wedding. IM HURTING SO MUCH PLEASE HELP ME.
              its time for you to move on and use this hurt and pain to get closer to the one that you shoudl really love - allah swt

              please learn yoru lesson for this and become a better and more puius muslim.
              next tme you have a potential, pls take it staraight to your wali so that they can look into the nature of htat person, and determine if he is good enough for you.

              if someone is constantly avoiding your parents, then the danger signs should immediately be alerted.

              you may not sin physically but you sin in other ways, so please repent for this relationship, ask allah to help you through this pain, and wait for something better in sha allah

              __________________________________________________ _____________________________



              please donate to the Ummah forum sadaqa jariya project. Click on the link for for more information, and to make a donation- https://www.justgiving.com/sadaqah-jariyah-project/

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              • #8
                Re: Heartbreak and Qadr

                Originally posted by xaxa View Post
                m sad today because i really loved someone - and i mean i really loved this person - more than anyone can imagine. I started talking to him with intentions to marry but then things didn't work out the way i wanted them to. i wanted him to meet my parents but he assured me now wasn't the time but ONE DAY. We didnt have a phsyical relationship as we both never wanted to sin. His promise of one day went on for 4 years .... during these four years i nagged him about marriage bcus i knew how much love i had in my heart for him. 5 months ago he told me he was getting married without giving me an explanation and yesterday i saw pictures of his wedding. IM HURTING SO MUCH PLEASE HELP ME.
                I am sorry for your hurt but you need to understand that 'we didnt want to sin' ...just because you are not having physical relations...you are still sinning because you are talking to a man that is not your mahrem..if a man is not willing to meet your wali to set a date, then there is never any reason to prolong it...especially to 4 years..I am only telling yu this so you do not make the same mistake again...go to the marriage section and on the top there is a thread called how to mend a broken heart..that will help you sister..
                Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Heartbreak and Qadr

                  Originally posted by shay5 View Post
                  So the first one was a boyfriend and the second was a husband? Just clarify before I advise you..
                  Yes, correct

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Heartbreak and Qadr

                    Originally posted by ash_j13 View Post
                    As-salamu alaykum

                    I am going through a really tough time recently.

                    I was in a relationship for 6 years, and this relationship was toxic, the man beat me, put me down, lowered me in every way possible. I stayed because he was my first relationship, and to not shame my face, nor my family. However, I could not do it anymore, and I left the relarionship and turned to Allah (swt).

                    I then met another man, my family proposed him to me, and we started to speak, we kept things halal this time, but in the long run, he ended up breaking my heart even more than the first man, because I truly fell in love with him, and I loved him for the sake of Allah.

                    I am now angry, and my iman is low, because I do not understand why I was put through thjs heartache twice. I know Allah's wisdom is beyond our capacity, and He knows why He wrote in my Qadr, and why. But I just cannot grasp this, my heart hurts, and I cry day and night. I cannot sleep at night till 6am due to crying, and when I wake up, I don't want to wake up due to the anxiety I feel. I know Allah breaks our plans if He can see they're going to break us, but why write that man in my fate.

                    I will never kill myself, but I literally wish sometimes Allah will take my soul because I cannot stand the heartache, nor the anxiety.

                    I am finding it hard to grasp why this was written, and why I am suffering so bad.
                    Well i am sure you've learn some lessons sister, you've learnt what man wants and what they dont right? so u have experience now.. dont get fooled again this time u should know exactly if your next man will be the right one, and i hope the best for you.. and dont believe ur not worth it, they are not cus they couldn't keep it with you.

                    sometimes its better to be single than in a weird relationship.
                    keep the faith up!
                    My cooking Youtube channel:
                    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvc...UgRZfc4r8YJ0iQ

                    Don't abuse your body just to feel good, use your body right and you'll feel better - Sparty

                    Comment

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