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I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

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  • I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

    I did not want to post this on Yahoo answers because it is overrun by anti-Muslim bigots and it's hard to tell who is genuine and who is fake. I found this forum so thought I might post here.

    The two main struggles I am having with my religion are: the issues of gender inequality and the issue of fear and how it can be used to control masses (as it has throughout history).

    I was born to convert Muslims but spent part of my childhood in a Muslim country and attending an Arabic/Quran school. Despite the racism and bullying, attending this school was something that was forced on me by parents who cared for their reputation more than my wellbeing. However I saw a lot of beauty in the Quran (still do) and always distinguished between Islam and my teachers and classmates.

    Fast forwarding to over a decade later: I recently found out that my sister left Islam. She came home recently and got into several arguments with my parents over elements of the religion. I was extremely upset to learn that she was no longer a Muslim and feared for her soul but the stuff she said really got me thinking....and doubting.

    The things that I learned at Quran school would sometimes bother me but I would justify it by telling myself that Allah knows best. I can't just go along with that now though; I'm sure that there has to be a logical answer to everything, that's what I need help with.

    I do not understand why women need to be restricted from certain jobs and from going out without permission because we are supposedly irrational, emotional beings. Having lived in a country that restricted women's rights to work, I know for a fact that these nations do not prosper compared to those that give women equal rights and opportunities. I am very ambitious when it comes to my career and just as capable as a man so I do not understand why I should be held back because of "facts" that contradict real life results.

    Why is a woman not allowed to go out without her husband's permission? Why are we constantly told to stay at home because we are "fitnah"? I have heard several Muslims claim that this prevents rapes and assaults on women but the fact is that these things happen in Muslim countries as well, even in the home. The issue is that many go unreported because the woman is ashamed and the attitude in many cases is that it was her fault.

    It feels like a man's world, to the point that I don't see what I'm getting out of the religion anymore. Because even after our lives are made harder with all these restrictions, we're more likely to go to hell than men. I thought that those with the harder test are supposed to get the greater reward? Jannah also sounds like a man's world, as they get several wives and hour-aleeyn yet all we get is one husband with wives and hour-aleeyn and our reward is that we don't get jealous. That does not appeal to me but apparently it's either that or hell.

    I have heard of people who have lost faith but regained it. I would really love to regain the thing that has been such a huge part of my life until the last couple of years but need some answers that make sense. I do not need to be lectured about how I only want to follow my "whims and desires" because many of the things mentioned sounds like a man's whims and desires. The truth is always based on logic so I really need to know what the truth is.

  • #2
    Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

    Absolute Gender Equality would be a Gross Injustice,

    even the Kuffar don't even believe that, (you don't see men and women boxing, playing football, etc)

    Alah ta'a assigns Rights and Responsibilities based on his knowledge of who it is suited to best.

    we get our Rights and Responsibilities from Allah Azzawajal, because he Owns everything in creation, and we belong to him.

    your Gender Inequality argument is Illogical.

    Fear of Allah ta'ala restrains us from Committing Sins,

    Fear of Punishment for crimes is a necessity even Kuffar accept.

    without Law and order, you have nothing but chaos.

    tonne of other nonsense in your post, that makes no sense, I'll leave it to brothers and sisters to answer.

    Jannah is not a Mans World,

    Nobody will be dissatisfied in Jannah,

    your just don't polyginy, so you assumed that it's a "Man's World"

    absurd/illogical argument.

    May Allah ta'ala rectify your Imaan and save you from entering Kufr

    ameen

    :jkk:
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

      Men are physically stronger than women, I do not dispute that and know it would be a bad idea to let men and women box and play football with men.

      But intellectually we are equal to men and have proven our worth when given equal education and job opportunities based on individual intellect. To me it does not make sense that we should be restricted if a man decides to restrict us. Not every woman is the same, so why are we given roles which some of us do not fit into. I could never see myself as a housewife or a teacher, that does not fit my personality.
      Last edited by AnonymousAS; 04-08-15, 11:14 PM. Reason: Grammar error

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

        even the Kuffar don't even believe that, (you don't see men and women boxing, playing football, etc)
        Well, that's untrue for a start.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27s_boxing

        http://www.thefa.com/womens-girls-football


        To the OP

        As for gender, this appears, like so many religions, to be a way of control, rather like fear, and has been imposed by man.

        I read once, that Allah has 99 names and that not all of them are masculine. Rahman and Raheem, come from the root word 'Rahm' which means womb in Arabic. So that must be feminine! So some names of Allah are therefore masculine and some names are feminine! However, that would not suit the male hierarchy in Islam. Perhaps some food for thought?

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

          Originally posted by SBL View Post
          Well, that's untrue for a start.

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women%27s_boxing

          http://www.thefa.com/womens-girls-football




          :jkk:






          To the OP

          As for gender, this appears, like so many religions, to be a way of control, rather like fear, and has been imposed by man.

          I read once, that Allah has 99 names and that not all of them are masculine. Rahman and Raheem, come from the root word 'Rahm' which means womb in Arabic. So that must be feminine! So some names of Allah are therefore masculine and some names are feminine! However, that would not suit the male hierarchy in Islam. Perhaps some food for thought?
          lol,

          what was Untrue?

          Women Boxing the likes of Mike Tyson, and Paqio, Klitschko?

          oh yeah, thats happening somewhere ... in Lala land

          You didn't really read what I wrote properly,

          theres no Women footbal clubs playing against Men, at least not in the Premiership,

          No Women boxing against men at least not in the Middle to heavyweight divisions,

          Gender Equality yeah right ...

          No prizes for guessing why though,

          the names of Allah ta'ala has nothing to do with Gender Equality,

          you posted a red herring.

          Next time read what I wrote
          http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

          "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

          – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

            Originally posted by SBL View Post

            As for gender, this appears, like so many religions, to be a way of control, rather like fear, and has been imposed by man.
            Our Rights and Responsibilities are derived from Allah ta'ala,

            not any man or woman,

            even the Messenger :saw: does only what Allah ta'ala ordered or approved of him to do,

            this Man hating business is illogical Feminist nonsense,

            has no place in Islam.
            http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

            "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

            – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

              Atheist admits Men and Women are not Equal,

              http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

              "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

              – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

                open up your rep message. click ''settings''. i share something.

                just because Islam arranges a gender interaction rule, doesn't mean it restricts women's role to house only.

                in islamic golden age it wasn't uncommon that women becoming scholars, qadi, muhaddith, businesswomen. even Adh Dhahabi stated that no female narrator fabricating hadith, not even one, compared to their male counterparts.

                in Ottoman era, women entrepreneurs were so pre-dominant that one third of cotton industries in there were owned by women.

                >>>>>>>>>>>>>

                Expanding on her work, Islam: The Empowering of Women, Aisha Abdurrahman Bewley published Muslim Women: A Biographical Dictionary. This most timely work in dictionary form is a comprehensive reference source of Muslim women throughout Islamic history from the first century AH to roughly the middle of the 13th century AH. A perusal of the entries shows that Muslim women have been successful, for example, as scholars and businesswomen as well as fulfilling their roles as wives and mothers for the past fourteen centuries.

                The author wrote that her book originally came about as a response to frequent requests to provide some sources about women scholars:

                "When I went through my biographical references, I was surprised by the number of references to women, and the great number of muslim women represented in all areas of life, from scholars to rulers, whether regents or women who ruled in their own right, or women who wielded substantial political influence. This led to the decision to compile a larger source of reference of Muslim women, and, given modern views of women in Islam, it gives us a surprising picture of just how active women have been in the history of Islam from the very beginning up until the present time.A business woman is still a mother and a scholar is still a wife. Women simply learn to juggle things more, but that is something women are very good at doing, as can be seen by the entries.

                The entries are compiled from a number of sources. Many of the biographical collections devote a section to women, like volume eight of the Tabaqat of Ibn Sa'd and al-Sakhawi's Kitab an-Nisa'. Sometimes references are found within biographies of other references. A number of notable scholars mention their teachers, who included a number of women.

                ....."



                Source : muslimheritage.com

                And all the heavens go their way.... And only change is here to stay...

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

                  The life of Ottoman women :

                  http://www.ummah.com/forum/archive/i.../t-404093.html

                  And all the heavens go their way.... And only change is here to stay...

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

                    Originally posted by AnonymousAS View Post

                    The two main struggles I am having with my religion are: the issues of gender inequality and the issue of fear and how it can be used to control masses (as it has throughout history).
                    Fear has indeed been used to control masses. I don't think anyone would deny that. But fear has been used to control for human benefit. A person would instill fear into people to control them and to derive benefit.

                    If you believe Islaam is not the Religion of Allah but the Religion of Muhammad (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) then the question that begs an answer is what did he intend to achieve by controlling the masses? During his lifetime he was offered women, gold and silver, and a host of other things to quit preaching what he was preaching. He already accomplished controlling, if we assume that, but yet he did not take any of it. So, for starters he did not act in accordance with the human psychology for those who want to control.

                    Additionally, I would like to add that the matter was such that when the woman who ate the heart of his uncle after killing him wanted to convert he did not stop her and when his uncle who helped him throughout, namely Abu Taalib, died without reciting the Kaalimah he had no option but to accept that he died a kaafir. Thus, you have a man here who was not gaining anything, that human psychology teaches us that people work for control achieve, from what he is preaching.

                    I was born to convert Muslims but spent part of my childhood in a Muslim country and attending an Arabic/Quran school. Despite the racism and bullying, attending this school was something that was forced on me by parents who cared for their reputation more than my wellbeing. However I saw a lot of beauty in the Quran (still do) and always distinguished between Islam and my teachers and classmates.
                    This is sad. But it is a part of what nearly everyone experiences today. Parents are more concerned for their reputation then the well being of their child although they sugar coat their decisions, which they impose on their children, by saying it is for your best.

                    And yes you will always find a beauty in the Qur'aan as long as you remain unbiased. Even those who chose not to believe in it find beauty in it provided they are unbiased and do not have hidden motives. And separating the Qur'aan from teachers is also smart because at the end of the day teachers are humans prone to make mistakes even in their understanding of sacred texts.

                    Fast forwarding to over a decade later: I recently found out that my sister left Islam. She came home recently and got into several arguments with my parents over elements of the religion. I was extremely upset to learn that she was no longer a Muslim and feared for her soul but the stuff she said really got me thinking....and doubting.
                    Your sister left Islam which is sad. But no soul believes except by the permission of Allah. When she believed it was by His Permission. When she left it was by His Permission. You, and I or anyone for that matter, will only believe until Allah Wills.

                    The things that I learned at Quran school would sometimes bother me but I would justify it by telling myself that Allah knows best. I can't just go along with that now though; I'm sure that there has to be a logical answer to everything, that's what I need help with.

                    And you will always find things which might not conform with what you want to believe. And their is a very basic reason to this based on logic. Your knowledge is limited. My knowledge is limited. I do not think you will deny this.

                    And when our knowledge is limited we encounter things which do not make sense. But the beauty is if you believe in them and remain steadfast more often then not you find the answer later on in life because your knowledge increases with experience and at the time when you first encountered what you read in the Qur'aan you did not have the experience to understand it.

                    But there will always be things, the answer of which you will only find in the next world. I guess that is the part of believing in the Unseen. You do not have knowledge of everything. And anything you cannot grasp is part of the unseen. And as a believer one of things you have to do is believe in the Unseen.


                    I do not understand why women need to be restricted from certain jobs and from going out without permission because we are supposedly irrational, emotional beings.
                    Emotional differences in male and females have been documented in psychological studies. I do not think you will deny those. Which jobs in particular you are not allowed to hold is something you have not made clear and even if you did most would be open to debate if you are allowed to hold them or not.

                    Having lived in a country that restricted women's rights to work, I know for a fact that these nations do not prosper compared to those that give women equal rights and opportunities. I am very ambitious when it comes to my career and just as capable as a man so I do not understand why I should be held back because of "facts" that contradict real life results.
                    There is a basic flaw going on here. For starters you are equating "success" in Islam with economic success and apparent happiness. One of the concepts many fail to understand is that success in Islam is not measured by your economic well being. Most of the Prophets who ever came, with the exception of Sulayman (peace be upon him) were poor. Their followers were poor. Thus, economic success has never been the hallmark for Islamic success.

                    The world is a prison for the believer. A prisoner does not have many rights. His movement is restricted. His food and clothing are restricted. Everything is restricted for him. For the disbeliever this world is a Paradise.

                    He get success and does what he wills. Do you not notice what Allah says in the Qur'aan:

                    And if it were not that the people would become one community [of disbelievers], We would have made for those who disbelieve in the Most Merciful - for their houses - ceilings and stairways of silver upon which to mount

                    And for their houses - doors and couches [of silver] upon which to recline

                    And gold ornament. But all that is not but the enjoyment of worldly life. And the Hereafter with your Lord is for the righteous.


                    [Qur'aan 43; 33-35]


                    The world is not worth the weight of a mosquito in front of Allah. Had it been He would not have given the disbeliever even a sip of water in it. When you hold something dear to you you only give it to those you love. This world is worthless in front Allah. The Hearafter is what He loves and He will only give it to His believers.

                    Thus, simply because someone is successful in this world does not mean he is on the right path.



                    It feels like a man's world, to the point that I don't see what I'm getting out of the religion anymore. Because even after our lives are made harder with all these restrictions, we're more likely to go to hell than men. I thought that those with the harder test are supposed to get the greater reward? Jannah also sounds like a man's world, as they get several wives and hour-aleeyn yet all we get is one husband with wives and hour-aleeyn and our reward is that we don't get jealous. That does not appeal to me but apparently it's either that or hell.

                    I have heard of people who have lost faith but regained it. I would really love to regain the thing that has been such a huge part of my life until the last couple of years but need some answers that make sense. I do not need to be lectured about how I only want to follow my "whims and desires" because many of the things mentioned sounds like a man's whims and desires. The truth is always based on logic so I really need to know what the truth is.
                    In the end you have admitted that faith played a big part in your life. Logical and Rational arguments are the least persuasive way to convince someone of the Truth. Sometimes the Truth just has to be lived. You have lived the life of Guidance. Perhaps you need to live the other life to completely convince yourself of which path the Truthful one.
                    Watch those eyes

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      I have left you on a clear path, its night is like its day. None stray from it except he is destroyed.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

                        interesting OP made a thread and disappeared nowhere tobe found.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

                          Originally posted by Spicen View Post
                          interesting OP made a thread and disappeared nowhere tobe found.
                          Maybe the OP has things to get done and cannot use the forums until the evening? Why do some people get so defensive and assume that it's not possible to have genuine questions about the religion?

                          @Ariadne thanks for sharing, I will have a look at it very soon. I just do not understand why women are so restricted in so many Muslim countries when we have proven that given the same opportunities, we're just as capable in jobs that aren't dependant on physical strength. We have proven in universities that when we can outshine men when given the opportunity. Even in countries like Iran where women are given limited job opportunities they dominate challenging university courses such as medicine. It's disheartening to see websites such as IslamQA saying that we should be restricted from achieving our full potential because we are "emotional and irrational" without evidence to show this and to see so many Muslims agreeing with them.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

                            People like you are the ones who make me question the religion. I will never believe that men are superior to me and that I am deficient in intelligence to a man simply because he is a man. When my faith was strong, I never believed that this was what Islam taught. What if the woman is the one who provides for the family? Will she have the rights that the husband gets which are justified by him spending his earning on his family?

                            When I ask for proof that women are deficient in intelligence, I am not asking you to quote the Quran because that is what I'm questioning right now. I want evidence that supports what the Quran says. I don't consider IslamQA to be evidence because those are just words of a man following his whims, a man who wants to keep women down. When given the opportunity, we have proven that we can excel as doctors, lawyers, politicians, scientists and anything other profession that requires intellect. How does it make sense to restrict women the way Saudi Arabia does? Look at how backwards countries like that who restrict their women are; they need to employ expats from other countries who do everything for them.

                            I certainly don't cry over "the slightest emotional provacation". What patronising drivel.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: I am having some very serious doubts which I need to address :(

                              Originally posted by ZeeshanParvez View Post
                              Fear has indeed been used to control masses. I don't think anyone would deny that. But fear has been used to control for human benefit. A person would instill fear into people to control them and to derive benefit.

                              If you believe Islaam is not the Religion of Allah but the Religion of Muhammad (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) then the question that begs an answer is what did he intend to achieve by controlling the masses? During his lifetime he was offered women, gold and silver, and a host of other things to quit preaching what he was preaching. He already accomplished controlling, if we assume that, but yet he did not take any of it. So, for starters he did not act in accordance with the human psychology for those who want to control.

                              Additionally, I would like to add that the matter was such that when the woman who ate the heart of his uncle after killing him wanted to convert he did not stop her and when his uncle who helped him throughout, namely Abu Taalib, died without reciting the Kaalimah he had no option but to accept that he died a kaafir. Thus, you have a man here who was not gaining anything, that human psychology teaches us that people work for control achieve, from what he is preaching.



                              This is sad. But it is a part of what nearly everyone experiences today. Parents are more concerned for their reputation then the well being of their child although they sugar coat their decisions, which they impose on their children, by saying it is for your best.

                              And yes you will always find a beauty in the Qur'aan as long as you remain unbiased. Even those who chose not to believe in it find beauty in it provided they are unbiased and do not have hidden motives. And separating the Qur'aan from teachers is also smart because at the end of the day teachers are humans prone to make mistakes even in their understanding of sacred texts.



                              Your sister left Islam which is sad. But no soul believes except by the permission of Allah. When she believed it was by His Permission. When she left it was by His Permission. You, and I or anyone for that matter, will only believe until Allah Wills.




                              And you will always find things which might not conform with what you want to believe. And their is a very basic reason to this based on logic. Your knowledge is limited. My knowledge is limited. I do not think you will deny this.

                              And when our knowledge is limited we encounter things which do not make sense. But the beauty is if you believe in them and remain steadfast more often then not you find the answer later on in life because your knowledge increases with experience and at the time when you first encountered what you read in the Qur'aan you did not have the experience to understand it.

                              But there will always be things, the answer of which you will only find in the next world. I guess that is the part of believing in the Unseen. You do not have knowledge of everything. And anything you cannot grasp is part of the unseen. And as a believer one of things you have to do is believe in the Unseen.




                              Emotional differences in male and females have been documented in psychological studies. I do not think you will deny those. Which jobs in particular you are not allowed to hold is something you have not made clear and even if you did most would be open to debate if you are allowed to hold them or not.



                              There is a basic flaw going on here. For starters you are equating "success" in Islam with economic success and apparent happiness. One of the concepts many fail to understand is that success in Islam is not measured by your economic well being. Most of the Prophets who ever came, with the exception of Sulayman (peace be upon him) were poor. Their followers were poor. Thus, economic success has never been the hallmark for Islamic success.

                              The world is a prison for the believer. A prisoner does not have many rights. His movement is restricted. His food and clothing are restricted. Everything is restricted for him. For the disbeliever this world is a Paradise.

                              He get success and does what he wills. Do you not notice what Allah says in the Qur'aan:

                              And if it were not that the people would become one community [of disbelievers], We would have made for those who disbelieve in the Most Merciful - for their houses - ceilings and stairways of silver upon which to mount

                              And for their houses - doors and couches [of silver] upon which to recline

                              And gold ornament. But all that is not but the enjoyment of worldly life. And the Hereafter with your Lord is for the righteous.


                              [Qur'aan 43; 33-35]


                              The world is not worth the weight of a mosquito in front of Allah. Had it been He would not have given the disbeliever even a sip of water in it. When you hold something dear to you you only give it to those you love. This world is worthless in front Allah. The Hearafter is what He loves and He will only give it to His believers.

                              Thus, simply because someone is successful in this world does not mean he is on the right path.





                              In the end you have admitted that faith played a big part in your life. Logical and Rational arguments are the least persuasive way to convince someone of the Truth. Sometimes the Truth just has to be lived. You have lived the life of Guidance. Perhaps you need to live the other life to completely convince yourself of which path the Truthful one.
                              But should we have blind faith? How would that make us different to Jews, Christians and those whose beliefs many Muslims love to criticise? If our religion is the right one, it should be the one that makes sense for which we have real life evidence to support.

                              That's the issue though; Muslims should be doing what we can to be prosperous. The reasons why people are raining drones on and colonising Muslims is because we are weak and don't want to advance to the time period in which we live. One of the things that causes do many doubts is that many of the things that were applicable to the times of the Prophet (PBUH) do not seem applicable to these times. If Muslim nations were more advanced, world powers would have a much harder time bullying them. Several nations have proven that giving women equal education and work opportunities is very beneficial.

                              Comment

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