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  • I made a mistake..I am pregnant

    I fell astray from Islam and now I am pregnant with a non Muslim's child

    I will not be keeping the child. On top of all of this I have a board exam in two weeks, my father is ill, and I despise my job, and my mental health is falling back into depression. I was a victim of assault and was treated for PTSD and depression.But now al of these worries have been making me stressed and depressed

    I want to turn my life around and turn back to Allah because whenI am close to Him I am the happiest.

    Everythin is just becoming unbearable for me. I am thinking of having an abortion, leaving my job (especially since the father of my child also works there) and post poning my exam. The months that I will be jobless I lan to return to my country to become closer to my deen and spend my days repenting and praying to Allah.

    I just fear that I am making decisions out of emotional harshness...is this all a good idea? Please help me I am so lost

  • #2
    Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

    Is it even halal for you to abort the baby?

    Repent to Allah and ask Him to forgive you. Remember to pray all your prayers as well as read Quran and increase islamic knowledge. All of this will help you staying on the right path/making good decisions and feeling close to Allah again
    "Why Do We Fill Our Hearts With Everything But Allah And Expect Not To Fall Apart"

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    • #3
      Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

      Originally posted by Faith1 View Post
      Is it even halal for you to abort the baby?

      Repent to Allah and ask Him to forgive you. Remember to pray all your prayers as well as read Quran and increase islamic knowledge. All of this will help you staying on the right path/making good decisions and feeling close to Allah again
      its only 2 weeks old so yes i believe it is. Should i quit my job as well?

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      • #4
        Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

        Originally posted by piousmuslimah View Post
        its only 2 weeks old so yes i believe it is. Should i quit my job as well?
        Do you have a provider? If no then I think you should find another job but definitely quit the one you're at since the guy also works there. You might just fall back into the same sin so best to avoid him
        "Why Do We Fill Our Hearts With Everything But Allah And Expect Not To Fall Apart"

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        • #5
          Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

          Originally posted by Faith1 View Post
          Do you have a provider? If no then I think you should find another job but definitely quit the one you're at since the guy also works there. You might just fall back into the same sin so best to avoid him
          I live with my parents now...i had moved away but recently moved back because I just missed home (this was all before I found out I was preg) I am not in dire need of a job and my parents are pushing me to quit because they see how depressed I have been.

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          • #6
            Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

            Originally posted by piousmuslimah View Post
            I live with my parents now...i had moved away but recently moved back because I just missed home (this was all before I found out I was preg) I am not in dire need of a job and my parents are pushing me to quit because they see how depressed I have been.
            Okay sis then I think it's best that quit. Give it a little time and in sha Allah you'll be all better.
            "Why Do We Fill Our Hearts With Everything But Allah And Expect Not To Fall Apart"

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            • #7
              Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

              Originally posted by Faith1 View Post
              Okay sis then I think it's best that quit. Give it a little time and in sha Allah you'll be all better.
              The professional thing to do would be to give a two weeks notice but I honestly do not want to work there AT ALL I want to quit ASAP
              what should i do? wait the two weeks or just quit first thing tomorrow morning?

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              • #8
                Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

                Originally posted by piousmuslimah View Post
                I fell astray from Islam and now I am pregnant with a non Muslim's child
                It is your child too

                If you are sexually assaulted and made pregnant, you should take legal action against that man, so that he won't repeat it with others

                Hope, for the best out come for you and your unborn child
                Not knowing what one doesn't know will lead to difficulty

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                • #9
                  Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

                  Originally posted by piousmuslimah View Post
                  The professional thing to do would be to give a two weeks notice but I honestly do not want to work there AT ALL I want to quit ASAP
                  what should i do? wait the two weeks or just quit first thing tomorrow morning?
                  Uhh I'm not really sure tbh maybe someone else can advise you on that.
                  "Why Do We Fill Our Hearts With Everything But Allah And Expect Not To Fall Apart"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

                    Originally posted by Vishnu View Post
                    It is your child too

                    If you are sexually assaulted and made pregnant, you should take legal action against that man, so that he won't repeat it with others

                    Hope, for the best out come for you and your unborn child
                    My parents would disown me if I keep the child and I do not have the means to support a child...

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                    • #11
                      Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

                      Originally posted by piousmuslimah View Post
                      My parents would disown me if I keep the child and I do not have the means to support a child...
                      Do they know you are pregnant
                      "Why Do We Fill Our Hearts With Everything But Allah And Expect Not To Fall Apart"

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

                        Originally posted by piousmuslimah View Post
                        its only 2 weeks old so yes i believe it is.
                        No sister, all the fataawah I have seen for similar circumstances state it is not permissible, see examples:

                        http://islamqa.info/en/13331

                        http://www.islamweb.net/emainpage/in...twaId&Id=88978

                        It would just mean adding an even greater sin to the list. It's not the baby's fault for him to be killed, and the fact that it's less than forty days old is not justification for aborting a baby unless you fear you are going to be harmed due to health concerns resulting from a complex pregnancy case. Something that a reliable doctor should determine.
                        والمبادرة إلى التكفير إنما تغلب على طباع من يغلب عليهم الجهل - ابن تيمية رحمه الله - بغية المرتاد

                        "Rushing towards takfir is an attitude which is dominant over those who are defeated by ignorance." - Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullah [Bughyatul Murtaad, page 354]

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                        • #13
                          Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

                          :salams

                          Whatever has happened, it won't be reversed so now firstly you need to gather your emotions. Instead of dwelling on your mistake, focus yourself on bettering yourself now.


                          First and foremost, quit the job if you're financially well. As faith1 pointed out, you could fall into sin again so it's best you don't talk or see the guy again.

                          Secondly, know that you've committed a big sin and the only way to neutralize it is to repent to Allah and focus on your deen and religion. Here's how:

                          1.) Starting praying Salah if you don't already.
                          2.) Keep voluntary fasts. Allah has Himself said every good deed is for the son of Adam himself but fasting is for Me. So fast for Allah's sake
                          3.) Start Tahajjud and nafl/voluntary prayers. They'll benefit you alot in your revival. Allah say: My Slave keeps performing voluntary prayers until I love him :sub:
                          4.) Know that Allah is in the lowest heaven every night during the last 3rd part of it.

                          It was narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh (1145) and by Muslim (1261) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The Lord descends every night to the lowest heaven when one-third of the night remains and says: ‘Who will call upon Me, that I may answer Him? Who will ask of Me, that I may give him? Who will seek My forgiveness, that I may forgive him?’” :sub:

                          5th: Generally, refrain from evil and do good.




                          .....



                          As for keeping the baby or not I suggest you look for the ruling on an online website. If you can't find it, tell me I'll find it for you then.


                          Sister, in all due essence, you need to revive your spirituality and place your trust in Allah. Know that Allah is Ar Rahman Ar Raheem. Don't despair of His Help EVER. if you take one step towards Him, Allah would take 10 towards you!


                          Lastly, I'd like to tell you something. Listen to this very carefully. Never ever reveal this sin to anybody in person. No one! Pretend as if this never happened. Wear a garment of righteousness. I know this is too much but this is for your own sake.

                          Also, wait for a pious muslim guy. Pray to Allah that he amends your matters and gives you a halal beautiful family Ameen.

                          You're in my duas. Keep updating us, I'm currently in a sad state after reading your thread. Hope you can bring good news sometime later, news like you've become more pious etc. :jkk:
                          There are gems to be discovered in Quran.

                          Recite :saw: when you read this sentence.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

                            :wswrwb:

                            Sister, two wrongs don't make a right. Just as you have rights, your child also has rights. Aborting it would be a huge sin.

                            "Say: 'Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment, and do not kill your children out of poverty; We will provide for you and them. And do not approach immoralities -- what is apparent of them and what is concealed..'" (surah 6:151)

                            "And do not kill your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Indeed, their killing is ever a great sin" (surah 17:31)
                            "Wert thou to follow the common run of those on earth, they will lead thee away from the way of Allah. They follow nothing but conjecture: they do nothing but lie." (surah 6:116)

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: I made a mistake..I am pregnant

                              [QUOTE=drac16;6321369]:wswrwb:

                              Sister, two wrongs don't make a right. Just as you have rights, your child also has rights. Aborting it would be a huge sin.

                              "Say: 'Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment, and do not kill your children out of poverty; We will provide for you and them. And do not approach immoralities -- what is apparent of them and what is concealed..'" (surah 6:151)

                              "And do not kill your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Indeed, their killing is ever a great sin" (surah 17:31)

                              Sister, don't abort your child with the intention of repenting later. Who guarenteed you tomorrow? who says that you'll even be here to repent? using that thought process is destructive and, followed to its logical conclusion, would only lead to moral chaos in the muslim community. If you have reason to believe that your family would do something to you, get in contact with someone here and we'll do everything we can to come get you to keep you safe. We'll get in contact with your local masjid and arrange for temporary housing. We'll have a fundraiser to raise money for housing and/or baby supplies. You're our sister and we love you. We'll do whatever it takes.
                              "Wert thou to follow the common run of those on earth, they will lead thee away from the way of Allah. They follow nothing but conjecture: they do nothing but lie." (surah 6:116)

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