Recent Revert and Need Some Help

[Erydiel]

Salaam Alaikum, brothers and sisters. I have recently reverted to Islam a month or so ago, but have kept it a secret/hidden due to my strict Christian mother. This means that I cannot wear a hijab, do my five daily prayers, etc etc. Whenever I get the chance I try to make dua and am working on some form of charity, but I cannot do much right now since I still live with my mother and have just entered college this year.
I feel like I am in a bind. As a recent revert, it pains me to not being able to do these things like I should have already, and I also feel like my faith is starting to lack also. Before I reverted, I used to be Christian, then practiced Wicca for a small amount of time, then I just didn't follow any religion in general but knew that SOMETHING was out there. Of course, my mother never knew about my predicament all this time(and of course will not know for a very long time), but every now and then I would always come back to Islam for some reason.
After doing plenty of research and meeting a few sisters, I reverted even though my faith in Allah wasn't at its highest. I knew that He was there(since I still felt a small part of me inside still have some kind of faith in Him from my Christian days), and I don't regret my decision. Even with all the obstacles I'm facing now, I know eventually things will work out. However, there is still something that I need help with: my faith in Allah.
For awhile now I feel like my faith has been back to the days when I didn't follow any religion. I know that Allah is there and that He always will be, but I still feel like I'm empty inside. The strength that I had during my Christian days are gone, and it's like I'm stuck with nowhere to go. Some days I just feel lost and confused, even though I have reverted(and am absolutely happy that I have).

I need some help here. What can I do to have my faith in Allah grow? To always depend on Him again and trust in Him like I have during my Christian days so long ago? I'm sure the obvious answer would be to pray and read the Quran whenever I can, and I can't really go to a masjed because of my mother so....yeah. I really need some help here. Any prayers, any advice, I would gladly appreciate it. Please, help a sister out here.

Thanks in advance,

Erydiel

[Halaa]

Re: Recent Revert and Need Some Help

Asalamo alaikom, does your mother mind you having Muslim friends? You can hang around them ask them for their help I'm sure that will help in keeping you on the right track. Maybe start learning Arabic if you haven't already done so and read the Quran in Arabic daily even if just a page and pray every chance you get, that's our connection with Allah. Ask Allah to keep you guided. PM sisters on the forum I'm sure they'd be willing to help any way they can. May Allah keep you on the straight path and increase your imaan ameen.

[patient believer]

Re: Recent Revert and Need Some Help

Salaam Alaikum, brothers and sisters. I have recently reverted to Islam a month or so ago, but have kept it a secret/hidden due to my strict Christian mother. This means that I cannot wear a hijab, do my five daily prayers, etc etc. Whenever I get the chance I try to make dua and am working on some form of charity, but I cannot do much right now since I still live with my mother and have just entered college this year.
I feel like I am in a bind. As a recent revert, it pains me to not being able to do these things like I should have already, and I also feel like my faith is starting to lack also. Before I reverted, I used to be Christian, then practiced Wicca for a small amount of time, then I just didn't follow any religion in general but knew that SOMETHING was out there. Of course, my mother never knew about my predicament all this time(and of course will not know for a very long time), but every now and then I would always come back to Islam for some reason.
After doing plenty of research and meeting a few sisters, I reverted even though my faith in Allah wasn't at its highest. I knew that He was there(since I still felt a small part of me inside still have some kind of faith in Him from my Christian days), and I don't regret my decision. Even with all the obstacles I'm facing now, I know eventually things will work out. However, there is still something that I need help with: my faith in Allah.
For awhile now I feel like my faith has been back to the days when I didn't follow any religion. I know that Allah is there and that He always will be, but I still feel like I'm empty inside. The strength that I had during my Christian days are gone, and it's like I'm stuck with nowhere to go. Some days I just feel lost and confused, even though I have reverted(and am absolutely happy that I have).

I need some help here. What can I do to have my faith in Allah grow? To always depend on Him again and trust in Him like I have during my Christian days so long ago? I'm sure the obvious answer would be to pray and read the Quran whenever I can, and I can't really go to a masjed because of my mother so....yeah. I really need some help here. Any prayers, any advice, I would gladly appreciate it. Please, help a sister out here.

Thanks in advance,

Erydiel

Sister try to go to the masjid often. Pray,pray and increase your supplication. Maybe lock your room then do all your prayers and make a lot of Dua. Try to stay muslim friends