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Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

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  • Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)


  • #2

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    • #3
      Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

      Re read that and I think I understand

      So you think that you are to blame for them breaking up their haram relationship!!!????

      Seriously!!! Why do you care so much
      This is haram that they are committing, not a marriage loved and accepted by Allah swt.

      Is this really what you are being remorseful about, or is it because you have been in a 6yr haram relationship??

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      • #4
        Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

        They have no one but themselves to blame for their own actions. They are the ones that were involved in a haram relationship, and if it is true as you say - then they committed zina as well.

        You are not at fault for anything that lying dirty cheat has done, you got nothing to feel guilty over. I know i wouldn't. And that guy deserves a good beating for his actions/.

        You only need to feel guilty over the fact you had a relationship with a man - which you should not have done. Even if u are engaged, that doesn't change anything Islamically. It is not permissible for you to be "dating" or hanging around with each other until the nikah is done. Repent from that and move on and have some self-respect and don't go anywhere near that guy again.

        You should have cut ties with him the moment he went ahead and did zina with another woman. Men like that don't deserve another chance unless they prove they've repented and changed, otherwise its just empty sweet words that sound good but have no substance.
        Last edited by Mikha’eel; 03-06-14, 02:01 PM.
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        • #5
          Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

          :wswrwb:

          Sister, that man is a total loser. You should dump him. Never let him come back to you. Never ever give him another chance. You should cut contact with both of them.

          Find another man who is religious and kind. And you must not date. Dating is haraam.

          They want to extinguish the light of Allah with their mouths, but Allah will perfect His light, although the disbelievers dislike it (61 : 8)

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          • #6
            Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

            what a pig (him)

            with all due respect my sister, you need to take a reality check.
            you were with him in whatever sense for 6 years and during those 6 years he didn't marry you? warning bells right there.
            Also physical contact or not your relationship was haram so YOU were in the wrong too.

            Then he went and cheated on you -technically islamically you had no relation anyway- and yet you still continued to
            take him back etc etc. please wake up and smell the coffee, he's a cheating scumbag and you still want him? still care about what he does?
            forget him, think better of yourself and aim higher next time. you did wrong in being in that relationship but you didn't do wrong in informing the other girl, not in my opinion anyway. drop him like a hot potato, severe all contact with him and strengthen your relationship with Allah insha allah. May Allah protect you.
            The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
            (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
            In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

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            • #7
              Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

              Firstly, we were engaged and were planning to marry this year(2014)

              I regularly say my prayer. I was not in good shape while writing this. "I totally turned to Allah" means I left everything on Allah instead of doing anything myself.

              I am already ashamed, remorseful for that relationship. Allah knows how many times I have asked forgiveness.

              The total event made me so emotionally damaged that I had to consult a psychiatric. BUT, from last couple of weeks my mental condition got worse and it's that time I stopped saying any prayer.

              Now, I am ashamed of the fact that even though I left everything on Allah and keep my patience for last 6 months -- Just I could not control my anger, agony - instead of keeping patience I blurt everything to that girl. Why I did that?

              I feel, I did the same thing they did to me> Then where is the difference between me and them?

              Even they reconcile (which I am sure they will did), I can't forget that I stooped to their level?
              I feel Allah was testing me and I failed.

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              • #8
                Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

                Greetings and peace be with you Rehnuma;

                The total event made me so emotionally damaged that I had to consult a psychiatric. BUT, from last couple of weeks my mental condition got worse and it's that time I stopped saying any prayer.
                Probably, all of us on this forum sin, so we are not in a good place to make judgements on anyone else's sin. Despite any wrong doing you may have done, I believe you are doing so much to strive to put things right, prayer, forgiveness, striving to do the will of Allah. You might benefit more from spiritual help, rather than psychiatric help.

                In the spirit of praying to a just and merciful God

                Eric

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                • #9
                  Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

                  Thank you.


                  You only need to feel guilty over the fact you had a relationship with a man - which you should not have done. Even if u are engaged, that doesn't change anything Islamically. It is not permissible for you to be "dating" or hanging around with each other until the nikah is done.

                  I am totally remorseful for that. I have always been that "Anti-Dating" person not only as a Muslim but also as a Woman. My Allah knows how much I cried for forgiveness. At least, From me there will never be any kind of "haram," relationship.

                  I HAD. And each time he came back telling he is repenting. Even now he wants to maintain a friendship. I really dont understand this kind of behavior.
                  I just want that the Allah forgives and consider me and my situation.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

                    Originally posted by Eric H View Post
                    Greetings and peace be with you Rehnuma;



                    Probably, all of us on this forum sin, so we are not in a good place to make judgements on anyone else's sin. Despite any wrong doing you may have done, I believe you are doing so much to strive to put things right, prayer, forgiveness, striving to do the will of Allah. You might benefit more from spiritual help, rather than psychiatric help.

                    In the spirit of praying to a just and merciful God

                    Eric
                    Thank you, yes, you are right. Saying prayer, reading Quran helped a lot me to calm down.
                    The thing I cannot forget that instead of being dependent on Allah, I tried to take revenge. I can't forgive myself.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

                      How was that revenge? You didn't do anything wrong other than the relationship you were in. That guy deserves to be exposed for his actions. Don't beat yourself up over it and don't let that guy or his actions be the cause of a mental breakdown.

                      And even for the sake of argument you did wrong by taking revenge, then repent and seek forgiveness, its not the end of the world. You made a mistake, it happened to the best of people - inluding the sahaba who fell into some major mistakes and sins but the difference was they learnt from it, they acted as a believer should do when you fall into a mistake and Allah forgave them, and he will forgive you too.
                      Allah is always watching [VIDEO]

                      How To Weep For The Fear Of Allah

                      Please remember to share these links with people you know so they can also benefit from them. :jkk:

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

                        Originally posted by KeeKee View Post
                        what a pig (him)

                        with all due respect my sister, you need to take a reality check.
                        you were with him in whatever sense for 6 years and during those 6 years he didn't marry you? warning bells right there.
                        Also physical contact or not your relationship was haram so YOU were in the wrong too.

                        Then he went and cheated on you -technically islamically you had no relation anyway- and yet you still continued to
                        take him back etc etc. please wake up and smell the coffee, he's a cheating scumbag and you still want him? still care about what he does?
                        forget him, think better of yourself and aim higher next time. you did wrong in being in that relationship but you didn't do wrong in informing the other girl, not in my opinion anyway. drop him like a hot potato, severe all contact with him and strengthen your relationship with Allah insha allah. May Allah protect you.
                        I know they will reconcile, But, right now he is saying "You took revenge", "You cannot see me happy, because you are unhappy" etc. etc.
                        That girl is also blaming me.

                        But what about they did to me?
                        I always used to tell myself, Allah will do better for you.
                        I feel I have disappointed my lord.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

                          Originally posted by Mikha’eel View Post
                          How was that revenge? You didn't do anything wrong other than the relationship you were in. That guy deserves to be exposed for his actions. Don't beat yourself up over it and don't let that guy or his actions be the cause of a mental breakdown.

                          And even for the sake of argument you did wrong by taking revenge, then repent and seek forgiveness, its not the end of the world. You made a mistake, it happened to the best of people - inluding the sahaba who fell into some major mistakes and sins but the difference was they learnt from it, they acted as a believer should do when you fall into a mistake and Allah forgave them, and he will forgive you too.

                          Thank you, yes, I know now what I have to do. I will totally strengthen my relationship with Allah,
                          Being in a relationship or getting true love is not the main reason we were sent.
                          I will repent for every those moment I spent for this sins.

                          Thank you brother, again.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

                            don't lose faith in Allah He will give you better inshaAllah, someone so much better you will wonder 'why on earth was i upset over that crumpet.'

                            tell him to do 1, leave you alone and get on with your life. don't care about what he says, he's the one in the wrong.


                            Originally posted by Rehnuma View Post
                            I know they will reconcile, But, right now he is saying "You took revenge", "You cannot see me happy, because you are unhappy" etc. etc.
                            That girl is also blaming me.

                            But what about they did to me?
                            I always used to tell myself, Allah will do better for you.
                            I feel I have disappointed my lord.
                            The enforcement of Muslim Brotherhood is the greatest social ideal of Islam. On it was based the Prophet's (SAW) sermon on his last pilgrimage, and Islam cannot be completely realized until this ideal is achieved. '
                            (Shaikh Maulana Muhammad Yusuf)
                            In Lam Takun Ghaadiban Annee Falaa Ubaalee...

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Remorse after taking revenge (kind of)

                              Just out of curiousity. Why did you both wait for over 6 years to get married and not marry sooner so you both didn't have to suppress your desires for each other? And this is one of the reasons why Islam forbids free mixing of men and women. You should not have accepted that he free mix with other women especially since you both were engaged.
                              "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim

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