I am not sure Allah exist , then why should i pray ?

[kqaleel]

Assalamu Alikum

dear brothers and sisters, i have few questions in my mind which needs to be answered.
I was born and brought up as a muslim , i had recieved formal education in the madrassa, I had strong islamic feelings and used to offer namaz and fast in the month of ramadhan. all my family members are very pious and lead a good life. i am a medical student and i am also a person who is suffering from depression for the past 12 years and is on treatment. all the episodes of my depression were associated with exam - the fear of failure and performing well bothered me. i used to pray to allah to give me good physical and mental health ,mainly mental health, but in my final exam , when i was so close to achieve my dream - i had severe depression . i felt like committing suicide due to sheer hopelessness and attempted it 5 times !! (though none was successful) . since that episode , strong anti iman beliefs are gong in my mind. my mind convinced me there is no Allah and even if u committ suicide , nothing is going to happen. so do it etc, and before committing suicide , i went to a whore and had a physical relation. My exams were all very badly performed , i ran away from the clinical exam hall thrice ! i was totally scared , anxious and depressed. Now i am sure i am going to fail in my exam. So my questions are

1. What is the proof for existence of God ? How do u strongly believe in an unseen , unheard God ?
2. Why am i having this depression in association with exam ? even the non believers and muslims who dont offer namaz dont have this sort of anxiety about exam ? why god (if present ) is so ungrateful to me ??
3. Why should i pray to a God who doesnt answer my prayers ? I dont ask god for money , power or prestige. I JUST ASK FOR PEACE OF MIND
4. What is the logic in praying to a God who doesnt answer your prayers(prayer here is for mental health , nothing else) ? is int like praying to an Idol in the way hindus do ??
5. What is this Qadr , many say i am having all this problem due to lack of iman and belief in qadr. I find it ridiculous- the concept of Qadr. Allah has pre determined everything, he knows who will be in heaven and hell. All had been pre written, Then what is the logic in this so called TESTING. Isnt it kind of playing a FIXED MATCH ?? God is being cruel towards all the non muslims by making them not to believe and leading them to hell !!

PLEASE ANSWER WITH CONVINCING PROOF

[Ismail555]

Re: I am not sure Allah exist , then why should i pray ?

Allah cannot be seen, only prophets use to hear allah apart from Gabriel angel. Depression is very bad disease , and can be overcome by taking good food and talking to family and friends. I also do not pray much but have a firm belief in Allah. I remained jobless for 7 years and also got depression but Allah hold my hand by giving me a good job. One of my prayer was fulfilled after 10 years. So be hopeful and ask for pardon for your physical sin.

Allah has given free will to humans and jinn, and they will get their fruits as hell or heaven and even our prophets resides in these heavens as i read on internet http://deen-al-islam.org/Seven%20Heavens.htm. Take care.

[serio]

Re: I am not sure Allah exist , then why should i pray ?

I'm sorry to hear that you went into depression. Nobody wishes to go through that.
Everyone is different. No 2 person are alike. What you think as important might be petty to others and vice versa.
And Allah test each one of us differently. He might test you on your exams and how you cope with failure, etc. He tested me with a very difficult childhood and basically everyone is tested differently.

The difference is in how we cope with His test and what we do about it. Some people give up, some people turn to committing sins, some become closer to Him. For every hardship that we face there will be ease. It is whether we are patient enough to wait for that ease. If Allah answers every prayers in a matter of days or weeks then people will take for granted and just pray when they need to. So then we only turn to Him when we need something from Him otherwise we will forget Him.

He might take away certain things from you but you do not realized that He also gives a lot. You say you went into depression but do you realize you still have your legs, your arms, your sight, etc? Compare that with someone with a strong mind but is immobile, i.e no legs to move around, or someone who is blind who walks in this world without ever knowing what the world looks like.
Some people are filthy rich but they dont lead a happy life. Why is that? Some people just have enough to survive the day but you can see in their eyes that they are contented.

At the end of the day everybody is different. The most important thing is that we dont lose hope and we must always put our trust in Him. We might not have what we wish for in this world but the world is just a temporary stop. Its the after life that matters. If we cant get what we wish for in this world then pray to Allah that He will give us Jannah later. Dont ever lose hope in Him.

As for Qadr..Yes it is pre written but we can do something about it. I will give you a simple example. Say you are sick. Yes it is pre written that you fall sick. You can either sit and do nothing about it and continue to become more sick or you can see the doctor and take some medicines to cure your sickness.
Another example. Say you are poor. You will remain poor if you just sit around the house and complain to the whole world that Allah is not being fair or you can start to look for some job, earn some money and get yourself out of poverty,

It is our choice what we do about our life.
You look at a crazy person and say he is crazy but to him you are crazy. You look at Allah and say why is He not helping you, Allah is looking at you and saying that you shouldn't lose hope in Him.