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Am i doing anything wrong. please suggest me

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  • Am i doing anything wrong. please suggest me

    Assalamu alaikum, I hope and pray every one is doing good with the blessing of allah.

    I'm Rafi, 21 years old recently i went on a tour with my elder sisters and one of her friend and she had two cousins. From then i started to like one of the cousins I'll not address her name I'll just address her as 'P'. She is 3 years older then me. When we came back from the tour we all went back to our normal lifes. But I used talk with 'P" through msgs. After a month i realize i fell in love with her. I told her that i fell on love with her but she said it wasn't possible because our society won't agree coz i was younger then her. She didn't want this to happen. I was sad cuz i really fell on love with her. Then i used to ask Allah every night before going to sleep for her. I didn't took my salat that time. Then i realized this way it wouldn't work. I've to make Allah happy so i started praying 5 times a day. My intention is to make Allah happy. And i asked for her in my dua's. Then i realized I've to leave all my bad habits. Please forgive me cuz i used to smoke weeds drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes. I made a discussion that I'll not do drugs any more. And with the blessing of Allah I'm no more addicted to weed nor alcohol. But I still smoke cigarettes and my will is to leave it to. I had a dream of being a singer for past 5 years. And i was almost close to fulfill it. Last year i bought a guitar and i learnt how to play it. But then i realized some musical instruments are forbidden in Islam including guitar. Then i let my dream go for the love of my life. I don't if its love or what please guide me. Now i pray 5 times and also pray tahajjud salat (mid night prayers). And in all my dua i ask for P to be my life partner. I'm still praying and I'll keep praying. I'll not lose my faith. I'll not lose my patients, I'll not lose my sabr. I don't want any compromise to get her, my bad habits, my dreams, no other wish accept her. I say alhamdhulilah for everything i have. I don't want to be rich, don't want cars. I'm happy with the things i have. I just want the blessing to live and her as my life partner. Her love.but she says no because of the age gap. She's is the reason I'm leaving the dark world and seeing light (islam, deen). Please tell me if I'm doing anything wrong or suggest me anything i can do.

  • #2

    If she said no then its a no. You're still young and you can find other girls same age as you or older girls if you prefer them. a lot men do like older women which is totally fine but it depends on both partners if theyre ok with it and in your case she objects to it. So take that as a no. Sorry.

    Now that you have come closer to Allah keep it up become a better person and search for a good spouse for yourself. Dont give your life up for a stranger.

    Salam.

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    • #3
      She didn't directly said no. She just said what will the society say. And how can fall in love with any other girl when she's the reason I'm changing from the past me, the bad me, the sinful me. I pray to Allah so that she realizes my feelings for her.

      ​​​​​​She's afraid of what will people say. And im praying to fix this problem. If i just let it go and look for another girl wouldn't be it like losing my faith. Cuz I've have my believe that if my intention are good Allah will one day answer me. I let my dream go. Wasn't my sacrifice worth it. No matter what I'll not lose my faith. I'll keep praying and praying. Asking for her.. I'm crying for the possible and Allah is the god of impossible

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      • #4
        salam alaykum wa rahmat allah
        first of all you need to question yourself did leave your bad habit and start prayer only for the sake of allah or for another reason like to get married to this woman for example
        now that you are a better muslim than you used to you need to cut ties with her and avoid chit chating with non mahram women as for you feelings toward her you better of puting them towards benefitial because it a waste to have feelings towards a woman that is not your wife you either approach her for marriage or you abandon her because she is not the only women out there if you want a wife ask allah subhanahu wa talaa in your prayers
        your better of marying a religiouse women than this individual just from what you said she privately chit chat with you privately she could also do that with other men
        try to do some voluntary fasting like each monday and hursday or three white days of each lunar month or the fasting of daoud

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