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Not speaking to brother for his bad behaviour towards parents

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  • Question? Not speaking to brother for his bad behaviour towards parents

    Salam Alaikum,
    I need help from a sheikh, i haven't spoken to my brother who is 12 years older than me for past 5 years, we are three brothers and 2 of us live together i am the youngest one, we dont see our big brother bcoz he is disobedient to parents, he never called them in 5 years and he didn't even come to 1 of my brother's funeral, now since i got closer to islam i learned about kinship ties but my brother still doesn't want to see my big brother and my father too stops us to see him, what should i do in these scenarios? Please if anyone can help.
    Starts
    30-07-20
    Ends
    21-08-20

  • #2
    Assalamu alaikum. I just saw your question brother. The answer to this is listed below.

    Your parents have commanded you not to talk to your brother. Allah swt commanded you to listen to your parents, because if you don't it will be a sin.
    However, according to scholars and sheikhs, Allah created your parents, Allah commanded you to obey them. BUT, if your parents tell you to go against ANY commandment of Allah swt, then you must not listen to them, because Allah is greater than your parents.

    Brother, I know you are confused, but let me explain.
    Cutting off relationships from any of your relatives (brothers, sisters, family members etc.) is listed as a MAJOR sin in Islam. Here is the hadith from the Prophet (pbuh).
    "Anyone who cuts off relationships with his nearest relatives, will not enter paradise,"

    However, the more GREATER sin is disobedience towards parents which your brother has done, and you shouldn't do. So it is reasonable to listen to your parents because Allah told you to do so. Secondly, your parent/father is cutting the relationship, not you.
    Example: Your father does not want to talk to him, but do you want to?

    Allah will most probably excuse you for listening to your parents. It depends on you. Perhaps you should listen to your father, but maybe you can tell your brothers or anyone closer to you that you will not talk to him. If you still have love for him, however, then you are not sinful, because according to 2 hadiths:

    1. "Actions are according to intentions (Niyah),"
    2. "If a person thought of a good deed, but then does not do it, Allah swt will write it down as one good deed. If they thought of the good deed, then do it, Allah will write it down as 10 good deeds. If a person thought of a bad deed, but doesn't do it, it will be written as one good deed, if he thought of the bad deed and does it, it will be one bad deed."


    Which means, if you still love your brother and your father, and your heart tells you not to disobey God, then you won't be held accountable.
    I hope this helps you. Consider me as your sis


    Last edited by Little_Muslimah; 31-07-20, 03:39 PM.

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    • #3
      Ohh Such a relief, so basically if i listen to my father and brother for not seeign my big brother bcoz he disobeyed our parents i wont be held accountable for that. Thank you so much Sis

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