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Is my tawbah complete?

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  • Is my tawbah complete?

    Assalamulaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuhu. Earlier this year, I was attending college when I became sick and had emergency surgery, and I also had post-surgery complications. My parents were unable to travel to visit me. I became very attached to the older woman who took care of me and we became extremely close friends. However, I became too attached to her, as I would become depressed if she even left the room for a few moments. I realize now I developed a strong separation anxiety and I think I became depressed in some ways. So when I started recovering, because I did not want to leave her, I purposely fell down, and in the process, I hit my head on the floor. It did leave me with some pain in the head, but it was not so serious as I made it out to be. I pretended I had a concussion. Soon after, I visited doctors. I did have some pain in the head but I exaggerated it by making it out to seem as if I had a concussion. These doctor visits of course cost money. Having returned home now, and being separated from the aforementioned woman, I realize how wrong my strong attachement was to this woman and how wrong I was for using deception to get attention. In summary, my father paid back this woman all my medical costs, both for my surgery and post-surgery expenses and the medical costs that were incurred because I was pretending I had a concussion. Now I have repented, and I now realize part of my part of my father's money was wasted because I was pretending to have a concussion. My mental state at the time I was sinning was not great, I was depressed and emotionally unstable, but I was not insane and I still had a sound mind. I know if I was to confess to my father what I have sinned, his trust in me would be broken and he would be extremely upset. My question is concerning the money of his that he spent on me. Is it a debt to be repaid? I do not have a means of earning money and I know that if I confess to him my wrongdoing, he would be very upset, but I am reasonably certain he would not have me pay back the money to him. He has always forgiven my siblings and I when we have wronged ourselves, and I know it's not the money he would care about, but me changing for the better is what he would want. Similarly, the woman who looked after me, she paid one day for transportation while I was pretending I had the concussion. It was a very small fee, but I also know if I confess my wrongdoing to her, it would make things worse. But I also know she would understand my mental state at the time and I did those things because I was longing for attention and didn't want to lose it. Although I am no longer in contact with her, I also am reasonably certain because of the close relationship we had, that she wouldn't have me pay back to her the money. I have made tawbah and I am making dua for both her and my father, because indeed I have wronged them. Is this enough or must I confess to my father and this woman my sin and ask them to forgive me and to overlook the expenses? Or is my tawbah and dua for them sufficient and my reasoning that I am reasonably certain that if I were to confess to them my sin, they would overlook and pardon the expenses? By Allah, I don't want to die with any debts, so please advise me. Jazak Allahu Khairan

  • #2
    Perhaps ask a scholar.



    • #3
      Please write a letter confessing to both of them and mail it and ask them not to mention it on my face.
      قُلْنَا يَا نَارُ كُونِي بَرْدًا وَسَلَامًا عَلَىٰ إِبْرَاهِيمَ - 21:69