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Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

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    Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    since i embraced islam about 1,5 half year ago (swedish male convert) and though i REALLY genuinly think i love Allah swt and his messanger i have a problem that has not really improved... i have a very strange attitude thowards my muslim sisters. Its VERY difficult for me to even put into words, but i will do my best: whenever i come across a muslim sister, i feel... insecure, almost threatened. i genuinley do not know how to act. It might be that muslim women are generally kinda stigmatised here in the west...

    i think it runs deeper though. In a way, most of my past girlfriends and female friends (all are non muslim) i have had in all my adult life are pretty much the polar opposite of how muslim women are expected to act and generally behave. So to meet pious women with such different character is puzzeling.

    My girlfriends/female friends have all been moderate but enthusiastic drinkers, fairly promiscious and secular-feminist minded. When i talk to a muslim woman its almost like meeting a different species of woman. i feel... almost dirty and unworthy compared to their innocense and virtuos character. its almost a little intimidating to me. also what do you do when talking to a woman and youre not allowed to flirt with her? its such a wierd, new situation for me.

    I have the MOST "fear" of swedish sister converts. The generally high level of piety and good character of woman converts from my own culture that i have encountered has seriously caused me to feel insecure about my own iman and character. I admire them greatly because i know many of them go through a lost of prejudice and hate, but they do seem genuinley WIERD to me because they are swedish but at the same time so unlike my sister, cousins and swedish girls in matters of basic values! this makes me feel like a massive hypocrite because even though we share the same faith (and cultural origin) i feel distanced, almost intimidated by them.

    generally im not used to women with this kind of integrity and character who dont see themselves as objects. i want to stress that while i DO think this is the straight path for a woman and that i want this for my future daughters, it feels... UNNATURAL to me :(

    #2
    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

    Your white, you would never have prblems marrying a sister...
    Stop being apologetic to Kuffars!

    If I don't engage with you or reply to any of your question, it's likely because I find you racist and a total waste of time.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

      Originally posted by Abdell View Post
      Your white, you would never have prblems marrying a sister...
      my problem really isnt related to dating though... but do sisters really care about skin colour or are you being sarcastic?

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

        Alhamdullilah Allah blessed you and guided you to Islam
        InshAllah you and the rest of the ummah including me stay steadfast on the deen

        Say Alhamdullilah brother when you converted all your sins were washed away. And Allah loves people who repent due to sins they gain taqwa and become even more closer to Allah. Never think your dirty or another muslim might look down at you your just as equal if not better than them after living a life without Islam and still coming to Islam with yours sins being washed away.Your a MUSLIM and anyone who tries to say there better then u is arrogant.

        Obviously try not to speak to sisters who you are not mehram to
        But if you for a necessary situation do talk to a girl try just stay modest speak up to what needs to be said and leave it at that also make sure to lower your gaze shaytaan will always tempt you. Obviously we should respect are muslim sisters highly but dont be intimidated afterall we are all the same we r all muslim and all equal

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by Suedi View Post
          since i embraced islam about 1,5 half year ago (swedish male convert) and though i REALLY genuinly think i love Allah swt and his messanger i have a problem that has not really improved... i have a very strange attitude thowards my muslim sisters. Its VERY difficult for me to even put into words, but i will do my best: whenever i come across a muslim sister, i feel... insecure, almost threatened. i genuinley do not know how to act. It might be that muslim women are generally kinda stigmatised here in the west...

          i think it runs deeper though. In a way, most of my past girlfriends and female friends (all are non muslim) i have had in all my adult life are pretty much the polar opposite of how muslim women are expected to act and generally behave. So to meet pious women with such different character is puzzeling.

          My girlfriends/female friends have all been moderate but enthusiastic drinkers, fairly promiscious and secular-feminist minded. When i talk to a muslim woman its almost like meeting a different species of woman. i feel... almost dirty and unworthy compared to their innocense and virtuos character. its almost a little intimidating to me. also what do you do when talking to a woman and youre not allowed to flirt with her? its such a wierd, new situation for me.

          I have the MOST "fear" of swedish sister converts. The generally high level of piety and good character of woman converts from my own culture that i have encountered has seriously caused me to feel insecure about my own iman and character. I admire them greatly because i know many of them go through a lost of prejudice and hate, but they do seem genuinley WIERD to me because they are swedish but at the same time so unlike my sister, cousins and swedish girls in matters of basic values! this makes me feel like a massive hypocrite because even though we share the same faith (and cultural origin) i feel distanced, almost intimidated by them.

          generally im not used to women with this kind of integrity and character who dont see themselves as objects. i want to stress that while i DO think this is the straight path for a woman and that i want this for my future daughters, it feels... UNNATURAL to me :(
          It's just culture shock. You've been around promiscuous kafir girls your whole life.

          And I hope this doesn't need to be said, but don't ever flirt with sisters.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

            Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
            It's just culture shock. You've been around promiscuous kafir girls your whole life.

            And I hope this doesn't need to be said, but don't ever flirt with sisters.
            Nor any girl other than a wife... correct?

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

              Originally posted by Suedi View Post
              Nor any girl other than a wife... correct?
              Yep.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

                It is great news that you reverted to Islam
                You are born and raised in different environment and background, so you are not used to it, which is normal.
                Now, the challenge is to change and embrace a new way of life, it takes time and effort, step by step...
                One way to do it is by socializing with good Muslim brothers, you will acquire at least some of their qualities and you will definitely be influenced (even partially)

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

                  Originally posted by Suedi View Post
                  Nor any girl other than a wife... correct?
                  Or slave girl.
                  You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                  You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

                    Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
                    Or slave girl.
                    Did you cross a slave girl in your life?

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

                      Originally posted by Suedi View Post
                      my problem really isnt related to dating though... but do sisters really care about skin colour or are you being sarcastic?
                      you are going to one day realize that religion doesnt exterminate Racist.

                      oh and yeahs..I can assure Plenty of white wahded Muslims.
                      Stop being apologetic to Kuffars!

                      If I don't engage with you or reply to any of your question, it's likely because I find you racist and a total waste of time.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

                        Originally posted by Linkdeutscher View Post
                        Or slave girl.
                        Lol

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

                          Originally posted by Suedi View Post
                          since i embraced islam about 1,5 half year ago (swedish male convert) and though i REALLY genuinly think i love Allah swt and his messanger i have a problem that has not really improved... i have a very strange attitude thowards my muslim sisters. Its VERY difficult for me to even put into words, but i will do my best: whenever i come across a muslim sister, i feel... insecure, almost threatened. i genuinley do not know how to act. It might be that muslim women are generally kinda stigmatised here in the west...

                          i think it runs deeper though. In a way, most of my past girlfriends and female friends (all are non muslim) i have had in all my adult life are pretty much the polar opposite of how muslim women are expected to act and generally behave. So to meet pious women with such different character is puzzeling.

                          My girlfriends/female friends have all been moderate but enthusiastic drinkers, fairly promiscious and secular-feminist minded. When i talk to a muslim woman its almost like meeting a different species of woman. i feel... almost dirty and unworthy compared to their innocense and virtuos character. its almost a little intimidating to me. also what do you do when talking to a woman and youre not allowed to flirt with her? its such a wierd, new situation for me.

                          I have the MOST "fear" of swedish sister converts. The generally high level of piety and good character of woman converts from my own culture that i have encountered has seriously caused me to feel insecure about my own iman and character. I admire them greatly because i know many of them go through a lost of prejudice and hate, but they do seem genuinley WIERD to me because they are swedish but at the same time so unlike my sister, cousins and swedish girls in matters of basic values! this makes me feel like a massive hypocrite because even though we share the same faith (and cultural origin) i feel distanced, almost intimidated by them.

                          generally im not used to women with this kind of integrity and character who dont see themselves as objects. i want to stress that while i DO think this is the straight path for a woman and that i want this for my future daughters, it feels... UNNATURAL to me :(
                          You'll get used to it.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

                            Originally posted by Abdell View Post
                            Your white, you would never have prblems marrying a sister...
                            That statement could be taken a little differently to the way you probably meant it lol

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Scared/intimidated by my muslim sisters

                              Originally posted by dsr478 View Post
                              That statement could be taken a little differently to the way you probably meant it lol
                              Its quite true though
                              A lot of sisters like white reverts then again so do brothers (not all but alot)

                              Comment

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