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    #16
    Re: Sorry for my absence

    Originally posted by SaraVR View Post
    I am from South Africa originally but now living in Ireland.



    I have lots to think about, i feel more isolated every day. Maybe marriage is the way forward
    Inshallah Allah will help u soon, just hang on
    And just know that all the time u face resisting for Allah is counted as some of the best deeds in sight of Allah and is one of the best ibada even tho u may not be doing anything physically,

    And always look at people worse then u, there r girls who r brutally beaten and even burned alive for accepting islam such as in India and some other places,
    Soon all will be fine, nothing to be sad about

    Comment


      #17
      Re: Sorry for my absence

      Originally posted by SaraVR View Post
      I live in Southern Ireland, there are some other muslims here but the live in the city 30miles away. I am very isolated, I guess it's time to think about moving.
      With all due respect for you my sister, if you plan to move in'shaa'ALLAH. You need to plan out a strategy on how your going to pay for monthly rent, utilities, food, clothes, transportation, and other miscellaneous expenses in'shaa'ALLAH. It is not safe for a woman to live alone all by herself without her husband because evil immoral men will prey on women who do not have mahram males to protect them or women who do not have a husband to protect them

      I strongly recommend that you get married as soon as possible in'shaa'ALLAH in order for you to have a human protector, human financial provider, and human friend in the guise of your future muslim husband in'shaa'ALLAH, plus it is the fastest way and the best Islamic way to get out of your situation in'shaa'ALLAH and to in'shaa'ALLAH complete half of your deen according to Sunnah.

      :salams Sister SaraVR
      Last edited by ABDEL-AZEEM; 22-03-17, 07:35 PM.
      ALLAH AL-AZEEM is the one and only GOD and ALLAH AL-AZEEM created everything. Therefore ALLAH AL-AZEEM created the Earth and created everything in the Earth and created all of the heavens and created everything in all of the heavens and created all of the hells and created everything in all of the hells and created all of the universes and created everything in all of the universes and created everything in between them.

      Comment


        #18
        Re: Sorry for my absence

        Originally posted by m7md View Post
        Inshallah Allah will help u soon, just hang on


        And always look at people worse then u, there r girls who r brutally beaten and even burned alive for accepting islam such as in India and some other places,
        Soon all will be fine, nothing to be sad about
        I never thought of that. I guess I am being selfish by just focusing on my own situation and not thinking about others. I hindsight my own situation is not that bad afterall, I haven't been harmed physically.

        Originally posted by ABDEL-AZEEM View Post
        With all due respect for you my sister, if you plan to move in'shaa'ALLAH. You need to plan out a strategy on how your going to pay for monthly rent, utilities, food, clothes, transportation, and other miscellaneous expenses in'shaa'ALLAH. It is not safe for a woman to live alone all by herself without her husband because evil immoral men will prey on women who do not have mahram males to protect them or women who do not have a husband to protect them

        I strongly recommend that you get married as soon as possible in'shaa'ALLAH in order for you to have a human protector, human financial provider, and human friend in the guise of your future muslim husband in'shaa'ALLAH, plus it is the fastest way and the best Islamic way to get out of your situation in'shaa'ALLAH and to in'shaa'ALLAH complete half of your deen according to Sunnah.

        :salams Sister SaraVR
        I haven't thought about all the practical things you mentioned,you have given me a lot to think about brother.

        Comment


          #19
          Re: Sorry for my absence

          Originally posted by SaraVR View Post
          I never thought of that. I guess I am being selfish by just focusing on my own situation and not thinking about others. I hindsight my own situation is not that bad afterall, I haven't been harmed physically.



          I haven't thought about all the practical things you mentioned,you have given me a lot to think about brother.
          Assalamu alaykom.

          As long as you can pray , you are fine.

          There are many converts here who share similar struggles. Some more than others. I know it's kind of disheartening for you but keep in mind these things..

          Firstly that this is your test from Allah. He guided you to islam as oppose to you being born in a muslim family. If you persevere through these hard times any other challenge you face will be a walk in the park. Family is certainly the hardest to cope with but it is Allah who has willed this. Trust His wisdom. You will reap the benefits of your struggle sooner than you think..

          Listen ,
          Regardless of what tribulations you are going through with your family , be the best you can to them. Since you are home, do all the chores around the house. Treat your parents better than you have ever in your life , even if they give you a hard time. Respond with good manners and represent islam the best to them.

          Allah says regarding non Muslim parents..

          But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do. [31:15]


          As twisted as it is through our lenses , the reason why they are upset with you is because they care about you and love you. They have misconceptions about islam and it is your task to clear those misconceptions away with good manners , and consistency in your religion. Islam actually teaches excellent treatment to parents. Even if they are giving you a hard time you should respond with dignity and softness with them - as hard as it is , if you do it , you will win them over.

          Just try it. Next time they say something condescending respond kindly regardless of how much it hurts. Go above and beyond and when they ask you why you are being so good , attribute it to islam. You will win them over. Allah is telling you to treat them good EVEN if they are calling you to worship other than Him as the verse above says.. Follow His advice , you will see results. Allah could have said to dissociate yourself from non Muslims parents once you convert but He didn't. There is a wisdom in this.

          May Allah grant us all the patience to deal with our circumstances.


          :jkk:
          Last edited by AmantuBillahi; 23-03-17, 02:26 AM.

          Comment


            #20
            Re: Sorry for my absence

            Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
            Assalamu alaykom.

            As long as you can pray , you are fine.

            There are many converts here who share similar struggles. Some more than others. I know it's kind of disheartening for you but keep in mind these things..

            Firstly that this is your test from Allah. He guided you to islam as oppose to you being born in a muslim family. If you persevere through these hard times any other challenge you face will be a walk in the park. Family is certainly the hardest to cope with but it is Allah who has willed this. Trust His wisdom. You will reap the benefits of your struggle sooner than you think..

            Listen ,
            Regardless of what tribulations you are going through with your family , be the best you can to them. Since you are home, do all the chores around the house. Treat your parents better than you have ever in your life , even if they give you a hard time. Respond with good manners and represent islam the best to them.

            Allah says regarding non Muslim parents..

            But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do. [31:15]


            As twisted as it is through our lenses , the reason why they are upset with you is because they care about you and love you. They have misconceptions about islam and it is your task to clear those misconceptions away with good manners , and consistency in your religion. Islam actually teaches excellent treatment to parents. Even if they are giving you a hard time you should respond with dignity and softness with them - as hard as it is , if you do it , you will win them over.

            Just try it. Next time they say something condescending respond kindly regardless of how much it hurts. Go above and beyond and when they ask you why you are being so good , attribute it to islam. You will win them over. Allah is telling you to treat them good EVEN if they are calling you to worship other than Him as the verse above says.. Follow His advice , you will see results. Allah could have said to dissociate yourself from non Muslims parents once you convert but He didn't. There is a wisdom in this.

            May Allah grant us all the patience to deal with our circumstances.


            :jkk:
            Thank you so much for this. I was trying to stay polite to them and let them see that I was still the same person but I didn't know if I was doing the right thing. I now know that I am. Thank you so much for your wise words

            Comment


              #21
              Re: Sorry for my absence

              Originally posted by SaraVR View Post
              I am from South Africa originally but now living in Ireland.



              I have lots to think about, i feel more isolated every day. Maybe marriage is the way forward
              marriage isnt the only way if you are oppressed sister

              If there is anything we can do let us know

              Comment


                #22
                Re: Sorry for my absence

                [MENTION=140612]Rifqah[/MENTION] [MENTION=71631]iRepIslam[/MENTION] [MENTION=100941]*sheba*[/MENTION] [MENTION=140263]Sarah5[/MENTION] [MENTION=134214]ninety1daisies[/MENTION]
                [MENTION=123920]-qed-[/MENTION] [MENTION=131974]Creamcake[/MENTION] [MENTION=7414]RaNdOm[/MENTION] [MENTION=119899]shay5[/MENTION] @oknowimofficiallyoutofsistersIcanthinkof

                Please reach out to this sister and offer support. Shes new to islam and going through some major trials your kind words could make a huge difference. I'd do it myself but I'm a dude
                Please also tag any other sisters you can think of who might be able to help
                [MENTION=139917]SaraVR[/MENTION] hang in there were here for you inshaAllah
                It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
                "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

                Comment


                  #23
                  Re: Sorry for my absence

                  Also [MENTION=99637]Gingerbeardman[/MENTION] inshaAllah you have some advice
                  It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
                  "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Re: Sorry for my absence

                    Originally posted by SaraVR View Post
                    Thank you so much for this. I was trying to stay polite to them and let them see that I was still the same person but I didn't know if I was doing the right thing. I now know that I am. Thank you so much for your wise words
                    I felt the need to say this becuase it should never be confused. Islam is here to strengthen your relationship with your family. Ideally this is what we must all strive for.

                    The morals this religion teaches should make you a better human being in all that is good. If you strive for excellence as we have been commanded then surely they will take notice and appreciate this inshallah.

                    The only advice I could also give you is to not irritate them. It is not even necessary to speak on the religion with them especially if fight arise from that. Just let your actions speak for you. You just got to prove that the religion makes you a better person and if practiced , it should.



                    https://www.whyislam.org/social-valu...ce-of-parents/

                    Salam alykum

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Re: Sorry for my absence

                      Be happy [MENTION=139917]SaraVR[/MENTION]

                      When I read your words, it reminded me of the story of Yusuf as

                      His own brothers turned against him yet he showed the most beautiful patience. That is one of the hardest things to go through in life. When those you love turn against you. Because we place a little portion of ourselves in those that we love and when that connection becomes rocky or shaky. It can unground us too.

                      When you became muslim, you must have gone through a lot of self reflection and questioning about who you are and who you are going to be. How you will live your life. What values, morals and principles are important to you. You shook on the inside but you became stable once you were firm in your decision of who you are.

                      Your family didn't go through that same process. They were presented something without that questioning. They are being forced to accept. When that kind of force is applied, it's human nature to become unsettled. Imagine you are all connected by elastic bands to each member of your family. When you went on your journey, you pulled away, the elastic band strained and when you told them of your reversion you let that elastic band go and it hurt. They didn't want to go through all of that because it is easier and nicer when people are just what you expect them to be. But one of the greatest regrets older people have is that they wish they had lived their life in accordance to who they were rather than what people had expected them to be.

                      Of course you love them and don't want to hurt them but in these lonely moments you should constantly remind yourself of who you are and why you chose to become Muslim in the first place. There is no compulsion in religion and right now even if you decided to stop your journey and just become the version others wanted you to be, you could do that. No one can stop you. But this is why I have so much respect and admiration for reverts. This is why they seem the most sincere. Because by becoming Muslim you made a concrete statement that you choose God above everything else. You saw the truth and the truth within your heart was moved enough to know that you could not continue to live a lie and that you choose Allah swt.

                      You give up the comforts of this world and you choose Him. You shatter the image of yourself in your family's heart and you choose Him. You put up with the ridicule of those around you who blame you for choosing this life when you weren't born into it because you choose Him.

                      What is the life of this world but amusement and play? but verily the Home in the Hereafter,- that is life indeed, if they but knew. 29:64

                      Say, "My prayer, sacrifice, life, and death are all for God, the Lord of the Universe. 6:162

                      ^^^ You chose this. And this isn't easy. But this is what will lead to eternal happiness inshaAllah. I promise you I make dua for every revert out there because I think of your struggles and then I think of the sincerity that pushes you past them.

                      It's so easy to forget the purpose when you're lost in the pain. But this is what you have to keep reminding yourself. This is what you need to strengthen yourself in. That even when no one is telling you or reassuring you. You have a method to strengthen yourself. It would be easy right if there was some kind of meter in our field of vision that would fill up with gold coins everytime we did a good deed. It would be easy if we could keep checking this meter and see how much more we needed for the 'prize' aka Jannah. Then the hardships and struggles would just become detached experiences because we have focus. We are looking at this meter and remembering our focus. If it drops we work harder for the gold coins. It would be so easy. But we don't have a meter. We have to think of our focus ourselves, we have to take account of ourselves.

                      One or Allah swt attribute is that He is just. He hates injustices and oppression. So remind yourself of this when this world becomes too much. He could have easily made you a soul that was born to a Muslim family. He could have decreed that your tests to determine your sincerity were something else. But His wisdom precedes and He doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear so He knew there was a quality in you, that by His permission could overcome everything that has been decreed for you. Just make dua for a good decree inshaAllah.

                      Don't despair and don't let shaitaans whispers weaken you. Remember the why. Shaitaan is after the same ruin for us as is for him. Shaitaans belief in Allah swt was strong but his submission and awe and veneration of God was weak. Make that strong and don't let this world overcome you. I can advise you today but tomorrow it might be me that is in need of advice so I hope my duas will be of some comfort to you and please please stay strong because you are with us on the same journey to our home inshaAllah.
                      [MENTION=99637]Gingerbeardman[/MENTION] can probably advise you of the practicalities and [MENTION=123043]Grandad[/MENTION] can probably offer words that will make you reflect
                      ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                      "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                      :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Re: Sorry for my absence

                        Originally posted by SaraVR View Post
                        It has been a long time since I have been able to post, maybe 6 months? Once my family realised that my reverting was not just a phase they made things very difficult for me and tried to isolate me even more than I already was. I was not permitted to leave the house or use the internet. It is still very hard for me and even now they do not accept me for who I am. Sorry I have not been able to post
                        Salamualaikum, this isn't uncommon. We've had revert sisters here who went through torture by their own family and relatives who attempted every dirty trick they could to make their revert family member suffer. May Allah grant them understanding and may Allah grant you perseverance and ease. Ameen.

                        -I would add dear sister this is ur test... make sure u see every obstacle as a test with immense reward behind it. Everytime your buttons are pushed... just know, remind ur self you're in a test. Allah says: with every difficulty shall come ease so it's only a matter of time before this test is lifted from u bit another one will come in its place... u may be ready to take a tougher test. Allah says: do they think that just because they say they believe We will leave them alone?

                        The most beautiful way to deal with it is by demonstrating positive patience which is beautiful: "sabrun jameel"

                        And if ur able to then MaashAllah. That's pretty awesome. Jannah is the ultimate mission. Everything we would want is there. And it's permanent.
                        Last edited by candyapple; 23-03-17, 12:46 PM.
                        "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

                        "Nothing protects the rights of the minority like the tyranny of the majority"

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Re: Sorry for my absence

                          Originally posted by SaraVR View Post
                          It has been a long time since I have been able to post, maybe 6 months? Once my family realised that my reverting was not just a phase they made things very difficult for me and tried to isolate me even more than I already was. I was not permitted to leave the house or use the internet. It is still very hard for me and even now they do not accept me for who I am. Sorry I have not been able to post
                          It's a bumpy ride. I am from a muslim background, and when I started practicing, my family did similar things, some even worse...

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Re: Sorry for my absence

                            Originally posted by nonameakhi View Post
                            marriage isnt the only way if you are oppressed sister

                            If there is anything we can do let us know
                            Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post

                            Please reach out to this sister and offer support. Shes new to islam and going through some major trials your kind words could make a huge difference. I'd do it myself but I'm a dude
                            Please also tag any other sisters you can think of who might be able to help
                            [MENTION=139917]SaraVR[/MENTION] hang in there were here for you inshaAllah
                            Eesa you've always been so kind to me even though I know I must annoy you lol. Thank you

                            Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
                            I felt the need to say this becuase it should never be confused. Islam is here to strengthen your relationship with your family. Ideally this is what we must all strive for.

                            The morals this religion teaches should make you a better human being in all that is good. If you strive for excellence as we have been commanded then surely they will take notice and appreciate this inshallah.

                            The only advice I could also give you is to not irritate them. It is not even necessary to speak on the religion with them especially if fight arise from that. Just let your actions speak for you. You just got to prove that the religion makes you a better person and if practiced , it should.



                            https://www.whyislam.org/social-valu...ce-of-parents/

                            Salam alykum
                            Thank you, you're words made a lot of sense to me and I'm going to try and be an even better daughter to them and let them see that I'm still the same person. They are the ones that have changed not me.

                            Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                            Be happy [MENTION=139917]SaraVR[/MENTION]

                            When I read your words, it reminded me of the story of Yusuf as

                            His own brothers turned against him yet he showed the most beautiful patience. That is one of the hardest things to go through in life. When those you love turn against you. Because we place a little portion of ourselves in those that we love and when that connection becomes rocky or shaky. It can unground us too.

                            When you became muslim, you must have gone through a lot of self reflection and questioning about who you are and who you are going to be. How you will live your life. What values, morals and principles are important to you. You shook on the inside but you became stable once you were firm in your decision of who you are.

                            Your family didn't go through that same process. They were presented something without that questioning. They are being forced to accept. When that kind of force is applied, it's human nature to become unsettled. Imagine you are all connected by elastic bands to each member of your family. When you went on your journey, you pulled away, the elastic band strained and when you told them of your reversion you let that elastic band go and it hurt. They didn't want to go through all of that because it is easier and nicer when people are just what you expect them to be. But one of the greatest regrets older people have is that they wish they had lived their life in accordance to who they were rather than what people had expected them to be.

                            Of course you love them and don't want to hurt them but in these lonely moments you should constantly remind yourself of who you are and why you chose to become Muslim in the first place. There is no compulsion in religion and right now even if you decided to stop your journey and just become the version others wanted you to be, you could do that. No one can stop you. But this is why I have so much respect and admiration for reverts. This is why they seem the most sincere. Because by becoming Muslim you made a concrete statement that you choose God above everything else. You saw the truth and the truth within your heart was moved enough to know that you could not continue to live a lie and that you choose Allah swt.

                            You give up the comforts of this world and you choose Him. You shatter the image of yourself in your family's heart and you choose Him. You put up with the ridicule of those around you who blame you for choosing this life when you weren't born into it because you choose Him.

                            What is the life of this world but amusement and play? but verily the Home in the Hereafter,- that is life indeed, if they but knew. 29:64

                            Say, "My prayer, sacrifice, life, and death are all for God, the Lord of the Universe. 6:162

                            ^^^ You chose this. And this isn't easy. But this is what will lead to eternal happiness inshaAllah. I promise you I make dua for every revert out there because I think of your struggles and then I think of the sincerity that pushes you past them.

                            It's so easy to forget the purpose when you're lost in the pain. But this is what you have to keep reminding yourself. This is what you need to strengthen yourself in. That even when no one is telling you or reassuring you. You have a method to strengthen yourself. It would be easy right if there was some kind of meter in our field of vision that would fill up with gold coins everytime we did a good deed. It would be easy if we could keep checking this meter and see how much more we needed for the 'prize' aka Jannah. Then the hardships and struggles would just become detached experiences because we have focus. We are looking at this meter and remembering our focus. If it drops we work harder for the gold coins. It would be so easy. But we don't have a meter. We have to think of our focus ourselves, we have to take account of ourselves.

                            One or Allah swt attribute is that He is just. He hates injustices and oppression. So remind yourself of this when this world becomes too much. He could have easily made you a soul that was born to a Muslim family. He could have decreed that your tests to determine your sincerity were something else. But His wisdom precedes and He doesn't burden a soul more than it can bear so He knew there was a quality in you, that by His permission could overcome everything that has been decreed for you. Just make dua for a good decree inshaAllah.

                            Don't despair and don't let shaitaans whispers weaken you. Remember the why. Shaitaan is after the same ruin for us as is for him. Shaitaans belief in Allah swt was strong but his submission and awe and veneration of God was weak. Make that strong and don't let this world overcome you. I can advise you today but tomorrow it might be me that is in need of advice so I hope my duas will be of some comfort to you and please please stay strong because you are with us on the same journey to our home inshaAllah.
                            [MENTION=99637]Gingerbeardman[/MENTION] can probably advise you of the practicalities and [MENTION=123043]Grandad[/MENTION] can probably offer words that will make you reflect
                            I will stay strong and your words are of great comfort to me. Their inability to accept my life isn't something I'm going to get upset about anymore.

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Re: Sorry for my absence

                              SubhanAllah I have misread this thread. I thought there was an agreement with.

                              Originally posted by m7md View Post
                              call the police,
                              Iman is more importnat then all human relationship,
                              Ibrahim as, once overly bothered and forced by his father also left his father.
                              If i may ask where r u native from,
                              May Allah bless you akhi , but I don't think going to authority is ever a wise move with family. Once you do that, it is over. Such a thing could only be considerable in such extreme circumstances may Allah protect us from such a thing.

                              I think the goal of every convert would want to see their families guided to the truth , not hold grudges until they pass away.

                              Sorry to bring this up again but this is not at all good advice. Perhaps you didn't consider the negative outcomes which arise from doing so.

                              https://www.whyislam.org/social-valu...ce-of-parents/

                              :jkk:

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Re: Sorry for my absence

                                Originally posted by AmantuBillahi View Post
                                SubhanAllah I have misread this thread. I thought there was an agreement with.



                                May Allah bless you akhi , but I don't think going to authority is ever a wise move with family. Once you do that, it is over. Such a thing could only be considerable in such extreme circumstances may Allah protect us from such a thing.

                                I think the goal of every convert would want to see their families guided to the truth , not hold grudges until they pass away.

                                Sorry to bring this up again but this is not at all good advice. Perhaps you didn't consider the negative outcomes which arise from doing so.

                                https://www.whyislam.org/social-valu...ce-of-parents/

                                :jkk:
                                Number 1 priority for a muslim man or woman is to protect his/her own iman, and mental and physical health, dawah comes next.

                                Comment

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