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  • eesa the kiwi
    started a topic New Muslim support thread

    New Muslim support thread

    :salams:

    Figured a thread like this would be a good idea (dunno if it will take off though)

    Being converts to Islam you don't always get the support you need irl so if you want advice or just want to rant you can post here
    [MENTION=140612]Rifqah[/MENTION] [MENTION=9956]bright[/MENTION]est hour

    I'll start, my family is so difficult to be around with Christmas it's not easy. Also something happened with a born "muslim" and my sister that I can't mention here coz I think you lot would start cursing the "Muslim". it's so sad it's not funny
    Last edited by eesa the kiwi; 18-12-16, 05:57 AM.

  • Samsandman
    replied
    Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post

    Thing is bro success in this life while good shouldn't be the main goal it's the hereafter that counts. I say this with full sympathy my own dunya is far from perfect I have a disability that makes leaving the house difficult on days let alone getting married despite how lonely I've been for the last decade but tbh I'm really starting to not care. I'm putting in the effort now so I can live it up in the hereafter. So what if I can't have the wife and kids I desperately desire so what if I don't have the car and the job and the health and I have to take this medication that makes me so sick. This world isn't worth the wing of a mosquito to Allah. Compared to the hereafter that stuff is literally worthless

    the point I'm making is you are building your eternal home and the stuff your missing out on isn't even worth a mosquitoes wing. In compared to eternity our time on earth isn't even a split second so hang in there. Put in the effort here to live it up there. Think of your wife from the maidens in jannah bro when you see her smile inshaAllah (may Allah Grant is all spouses in jannah) all the sadness and struggle you went through is going to is going to see so worthwhile

    We aren't miskeen bro despite our trials. Miskeen are the people who don't know the sweetness of Islam and have no hereafter.

    may Allah grant us his jannah and the opportunity to have a cold one together in the hereafter one day
    ameen

    Leave a comment:


  • eesa the kiwi
    replied
    Originally posted by Samsandman View Post
    salam alaikum

    As messed up as it sounds hearing that other reverts are lonely actually makes me feel a little better. Not that I am taking pleasure in other people pain but moreso that I am not the on that is going through this. There's been times in my life I felt alone like when I was solitary confinment in 23 1/2 hour lockup but then I really was alone. living in a city with 10's of thousands of muslims and feeling totally excluded from the community is more painful than absolutely no human contact at all.

    I knew Islam would bring changes into my life but it feels like I've changed so much that I don't know who I am anymore.

    sometimes I pray and pray and bare my soul to Allah swt with tears rolling down my face asking for things I really need in life like companionship and love and here I am years later wondering what I did wrong that my duas went unanswered and only evil people came into my life to oppress me,lead me astray and harm me.

    I always feel like a hypocrite as each day I ask myself"this is it? this is what I sacrificed and changed for?"

    I feel like a hyprocrite as I know I'm suppose to call my family and neighbors to islam but I think about what I've been through and don't want others to suffer through all those things.
    Thing is bro success in this life while good shouldn't be the main goal it's the hereafter that counts. I say this with full sympathy my own dunya is far from perfect I have a disability that makes leaving the house difficult on days let alone getting married despite how lonely I've been for the last decade but tbh I'm really starting to not care. I'm putting in the effort now so I can live it up in the hereafter. So what if I can't have the wife and kids I desperately desire so what if I don't have the car and the job and the health and I have to take this medication that makes me so sick. This world isn't worth the wing of a mosquito to Allah. Compared to the hereafter that stuff is literally worthless

    the point I'm making is you are building your eternal home and the stuff your missing out on isn't even worth a mosquitoes wing. In compared to eternity our time on earth isn't even a split second so hang in there. Put in the effort here to live it up there. Think of your wife from the maidens in jannah bro when you see her smile inshaAllah (may Allah Grant is all spouses in jannah) all the sadness and struggle you went through is going to is going to see so worthwhile

    We aren't miskeen bro despite our trials. Miskeen are the people who don't know the sweetness of Islam and have no hereafter.

    may Allah grant us his jannah and the opportunity to have a cold one together in the hereafter one day

    Leave a comment:


  • Samsandman
    replied
    salam alaikum

    As messed up as it sounds hearing that other reverts are lonely actually makes me feel a little better. Not that I am taking pleasure in other people pain but moreso that I am not the on that is going through this. There's been times in my life I felt alone like when I was solitary confinment in 23 1/2 hour lockup but then I really was alone. living in a city with 10's of thousands of muslims and feeling totally excluded from the community is more painful than absolutely no human contact at all.

    I knew Islam would bring changes into my life but it feels like I've changed so much that I don't know who I am anymore.

    sometimes I pray and pray and bare my soul to Allah swt with tears rolling down my face asking for things I really need in life like companionship and love and here I am years later wondering what I did wrong that my duas went unanswered and only evil people came into my life to oppress me,lead me astray and harm me.

    I always feel like a hypocrite as each day I ask myself"this is it? this is what I sacrificed and changed for?"

    I feel like a hyprocrite as I know I'm suppose to call my family and neighbors to islam but I think about what I've been through and don't want others to suffer through all those things.

    Leave a comment:


  • eesa the kiwi
    replied
    Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

    Sure. JazakAllah Khayr.
    It was reported from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No person suffers any anxiety or grief, and says:
    للّهُـمَّ إِنِّي عَبْـدُكَ ابْنُ عَبْـدِكَ ابْنُ أَمَتِـكَ نَاصِيَتِي بِيَـدِكَ، مَاضٍ فِيَّ حُكْمُكَ، عَدْلٌ فِيَّ قَضَاؤكَ أَسْأَلُـكَ بِكُلِّ اسْمٍ هُوَ لَكَ سَمَّـيْتَ بِهِ نَفْسَكَ أِوْ أَنْزَلْتَـهُ فِي كِتَابِكَ، أَوْ عَلَّمْـتَهُ أَحَداً مِنْ خَلْقِـكَ أَوِ اسْتَـأْثَرْتَ بِهِ فِي عِلْمِ الغَيْـبِ عِنْـدَكَ أَنْ تَجْـعَلَ القُرْآنَ رَبِيـعَ قَلْبِـي، وَنورَ صَـدْرِي وجَلَاءَ حُـزْنِي وذَهَابَ هَمِّـي
    ‘Allaahumma innee ‘abduka wa ibn ‘abdika wa ibn amatika, naasiyati bi yadika, maadin fiyya hukmuka, ‘adlun fiyya qadaa’uka, as’aluka bi kulli ismin huwa laka sammayta bihi nafsaka aw anzaltahu fi kitaabika aw ‘allamtahu ahadan min khalqika aw ista’tharta bihi fi ‘ilm il-ghaybi ‘andak an taj’ala al-Qur’aana rabee’ qalbi wa noor sadri wa jalaa’a huzni wa dhahaaba hammi’
    “O Allaah, I am Your slave, son of Your slave, son of Your female slave, my forelock is in Your hand, Your command over me is forever executed and Your decree over me is just. I ask You by every Name belonging to You which You named Yourself with, or revealed in Your Book, or You taught to any of Your creation, or You have preserved in the knowledge of the unseen with You, that You make the Qur’aan the life of my heart and the light of my breast, and a departure for my sorrow and a release for my anxiety”
    but Allaah will take away his sorrow and grief, and give him in their stead joy.” (Ahmad 1/391)

    Leave a comment:


  • .khayriyyah.
    replied
    Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post

    Think of the family you will have in jannah inshaAllah thats what i try do and Alhamdulilah it'
    Comforting to think of
    seems to be a common theme these issues of not fitting in with family subhanallah. Stay strong and try keep the end goal in view (jannah)

    Have you tried reading the dua for your sadness? I can post it here? InshaAllah Allah will replace your sadness with joy
    Sure. JazakAllah Khayr.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rifqah
    replied
    Alhamdulillah, that's encouraging ^

    Jazakallahu Khayra

    Leave a comment:


  • Fakhri
    replied
    Subhaanallah. Really sad to to read these posts. Of course we know these things happen and have been happening from the beginning, but it still doesn't lessen the impact when you come to know about what's happening with people... I know I say this a lot, but brothers and sisters like you, subhaanallah, I can't help but wonder just how incredibly beloved to Allah Ta'aalaa you must be, and how precious and valuable the deeds that you do must be in comparison to those of us who aren't going through similar.

    InshaaAllah, you will all be blessed by being able to start your own families going forward when the time is right, hopefully soon, so the loneliness can be eased. (May Allah Ta'aalaa make it so.)

    Leave a comment:


  • eesa the kiwi
    replied
    Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

    Waaleikum salam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

    Being alone doesn't hurt me, it's the feeling that no one cares that makes me upset. It feels like I lost my family, and before Islam they were all I had since I've never been an outgoing person. I feel hated and alone, but what hurts the most is feeling hated. After a while I got over it to some extent so it doesn't hurt as much, but I try not to think about the things that upset me since there is no point. If I distract myself with something else I'll forget about it for a while.
    Think of the family you will have in jannah inshaAllah thats what i try do and Alhamdulilah it'
    Comforting to think of
    seems to be a common theme these issues of not fitting in with family subhanallah. Stay strong and try keep the end goal in view (jannah)

    Have you tried reading the dua for your sadness? I can post it here? InshaAllah Allah will replace your sadness with joy

    Leave a comment:


  • eesa the kiwi
    replied
    Originally posted by Rifqah View Post

    (Asalaamu Aleikum Wa Rahmatulah)

    lonliness for me was never an issue until I converted. My family don't feel like my family any more and I often feel like I am in this world alone.

    My family view me as though Satan has me in his grasp and that I need their prayer, well the Christian half of my family do. The Atheist members feel I've been brainwashed and that I've chosen to go against my country, the values with which I've been raised and that I've rejected my family with my decisions, like it is one or the other and that I can't have both.

    It means I stay in my room a lot as the debates and comments can be exhausting. It means the fun and closeness I used to have with them all, that ease, the loving embrace, I don't have that any more.

    I've certainly grieved that this first year.

    I don't regret a single thing though because what has happened has nothing to do with Islam. It's not until you shine light on a thing you can see what is really there.

    My brother has thrown all of my Islamic clothing away, (this was last year). I had nothing to leave the house with. This and other things happen regularly.

    So, I feel more alone than lonely but I have no choice but to hold on tight to everything about Allah aza wa jal and do dikr etc.

    I keep busy and know that life will change at some point. Until then, I tell myself that when life stretches you, you learn how to be resilient. I think of those brothers and sisters in other countries who are tested and stretched in ways I could never cope with (Ma Shaa Allah) and they keep going Alhamdulillah. I listen to their stories and what they are going through and it helps me. Not that it invalidates what we go through, but for me it inspires me and makes me more grateful to Allah subhana wa ta'ala.

    That's how I deal with feeling alone.

    I come on here, see all the positive posts and reminders and that helps too. It makes me feel that I belong in some small way.

    So Jazakallahu Khuyra for your threads and posts that help remind, inspire and focus people. May Allah ta ala make things easy for you, keep you strong and bring our families to the truth, ameen.
    When I read your post I was reminded of the hadith about strangers. Stay strong sister may Allah make things easy for you with your family

    thanks for the inspiring post I feel better now Alhamdulilah

    Leave a comment:


  • .khayriyyah.
    replied
    Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post
    Asalamu alaikum rahmatulah wa barakatu

    how do other reverts cope with loneliness, seems to be a common theme

    born Muslims can answer too I'm not suggesting they are immune
    Waaleikum salam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

    Being alone doesn't hurt me, it's the feeling that no one cares that makes me upset. It feels like I lost my family, and before Islam they were all I had since I've never been an outgoing person. I feel hated and alone, but what hurts the most is feeling hated. After a while I got over it to some extent so it doesn't hurt as much, but I try not to think about the things that upset me since there is no point. If I distract myself with something else I'll forget about it for a while.

    Leave a comment:


  • Rifqah
    replied
    Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post
    Asalamu alaikum rahmatulah wa barakatu

    how do other reverts cope with loneliness, seems to be a common theme

    born Muslims can answer too I'm not suggesting they are immune
    (Asalaamu Aleikum Wa Rahmatulah)

    loneliness for me was never an issue until I converted. My family don't feel like my family any more and I often feel like I am in this world alone.

    My family view me as though Satan has me in his grasp and that I need their prayer, well the Christian half of my family do. The Atheist members feel I've been brainwashed and that I've chosen to go against my country, the values with which I've been raised and that I've rejected my family with my decisions, like it is one or the other and that I can't have both.

    It means I stay in my room a lot as the debates and comments can be exhausting. It means the fun and closeness I used to have with them all, that ease, the loving embrace, I don't have that any more.

    I've certainly grieved that this first year.

    I don't regret a single thing though because what has happened has nothing to do with Islam. It's not until you shine light on a thing you can see what is really there.

    My brother has thrown all of my Islamic clothing away, (this was last year). I had nothing to leave the house with. This and other things happen regularly.

    So, I feel more alone than lonely but I have no choice but to hold on tight to everything about Allah aza wa jal and do dikr etc.

    I keep busy and know that life will change at some point. Until then, I tell myself that when life stretches you, you learn how to be resilient. I think of those brothers and sisters in other countries who are tested and stretched in ways I could never cope with (Ma Shaa Allah) and they keep going Alhamdulillah. I listen to their stories and what they are going through and it helps me. Not that it invalidates what we go through, but for me it inspires me and makes me more grateful to Allah subhana wa ta'ala.

    That's how I deal with feeling alone.

    I come on here, see all the positive posts and reminders and that helps too. It makes me feel that I belong in some small way.

    So Jazakallahu Khuyra for your threads and posts that help remind, inspire and focus people. May Allah ta ala make things easy for you, keep you strong and bring our families to the truth, ameen.
    Last edited by Rifqah; 28-01-18, 01:16 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Fakhri
    replied
    Br Eesa the kiwi

    I'm glad to to know you're well, dear brother, alhamdulillah. Also that your mum sounds like she's doing better in general.

    ​​​... When I think of your situation, and of the brothers and sisters like you, I can't help but think of a certain well known speaker's father recently entering into Islam at pretty much his death bed after so many decades of being around Islam / Muslims. I know you're aware of course, but we really don't know... Even at the last few breaths, people are receiving hidayah... inshaa'Allah... need to keep trying and making du'aa... Ameen. May Allah Ta'aalaa open her heart to Islam one day soon, dear brother, and bring her comfort and contentment in His 'uboodiyyah, along with the rest of your family.


    ------------
    I understand what you mean, about the tafseer.
    ...Alhamdulillah, you've still got plans to resume the Arabic. A lot of the time brothers start and then become put off and leave it altogether. Please keep with it my beloved brother, even if it's revising/adding very little each time, until you do resume formally.

    ps.
    The masjid program - that sounds really good, tbh. Alhamdulillah. Brilliant actually. Keep us all informed on how it goes, inshaa'Allah! :]
    Last edited by Fakhri; 27-01-18, 12:20 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Aetos
    replied
    Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post
    aelmo

    thanks for your reply. I try stay occupied but sometimes you need human contact lol. The masjid near me is meant to be starting like a group for converts inshaAllah will go along and try meet some people
    Eesa i am more lonely than anyone here lol,anytime you want my pm is open bro,your welcome

    Leave a comment:


  • aelmo
    replied
    Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post
    aelmo

    thanks for your reply. I try stay occupied but sometimes you need human contact lol. The masjid near me is meant to be starting like a group for converts inshaAllah will go along and try meet some people
    That's really nice that your mosque does that. I know in some places there are these revert centers, but they probably don't have that in New Zealand. Inshallah you meet a lot of new Muslim friends :)

    Leave a comment:

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