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Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

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  • Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

    Hijab.

    For the ladies who don't wear hijab YET -- do not lose hope and try not to keep putting it off until it's too late. Something I remember my mother saying to me as I grew up and began to realise that I had to make my own decisions in life was 'Tomorrow never comes.' <-- sounds like a line outta James Bond or something eh?

    Anywho, my point is that, no matter how hard or how difficult it seems in your current situation; don't put it off for so long that you end up living life and never addressing the subject.

    I remember when I was going through the same hijab/no hijab battle inside my head. After all, hey, I dressed modestly, loose clothes and all. Plus I would wear it when it was the right time, when I was so many years old, when I got married, when I went Hajj, when I left college -- so many excuses, but I didn't realise that they were exactly that: excuses. Easy excuses to pacify my soul.

    When someone takes a small step towards Allah, He (swt) comes running towards you.

    My friends will ask me questions; how will I answer them? My family will make comments -- some may be not be nice; how will I handle them? People will stare at me -- what will I say? I want to wear hijab for the right reason, I want to wear hijab when I feel mature enough, I want to understand hijab before I wear it.

    You know what? Just wear it. Worry about all the menial stuff later. If someone asks you and you can't answer them -- tell them you will do some research and get back to them. If someone makes a horrible comment -- ignore it, after all everyone is responsible for their own souls; you cannot please everyone.

    One thing you will notice, and prolly slap yourself upside the head about, is how BIG a thing it seemed when you didn't wear hijab, but HOW easy it seems now you wear it eh?!

    Of course at first, people will be curious, people will look, you may still be the noisiest in your crowd, you may still not pray all your salah YET, you may still be a stroppy cow and go into fits at the slightest thing, and you may be worried about the impression its all giving to those watching.

    At the end of the day... SO WHAT?! It really doesn't matter that much. YOU have taken that step towards Allah and HE will make it easier for you. YOU have submitted to His law and He will protect you within it. NO ONE changes overnight. That is just silly to even assume.

    Change takes time. But for change to occur at all, that 1st step needs to be taken. Hey most countries are going through winter at the moment now? Take this opportune moment and wrap up that head Try it. Its like one those new Chinese places that have opened down the road. The food smells good but you're worried it may give you a stomach ache.

    Take the risk. Order some Chinese. Who knows, you may actually savour the taste...

    http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/show...?t=8895&page=2
    What does 'freedom' mean?

    Does the eagle want to swim in the sea,
    Restricted by the sky?

    Does the fish want to dance on the wind,
    Not enough river to explore?

    Yet the sky is freedom for the bird
    but death for the fish,

    The sea is wide for the fish
    but will engulf the bird.

    We ask for freedom but freedom to do what?
    We can only express our nature as it was created.

    The prayer mat of the earth is freedom,
    freedom from slavery to other than the One,
    Who offers an shoreless ocean of love to swim in
    and a horizon that extends to the next life,
    Yet we chose the prison and call it freedom.

    http://campaign.justgiving.com/chari...iyahschool2015

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      • #4
        Re: Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

        :salams

        As a still relatively new Muslim, I recited the Shahada six months ago, it was only recently I started growing my beard. The brothers that I study with were very careful about what they said if I asked about the beard issue. I feel it is because they didn't want to overwhelm me at first, as I had so much already to think about, ie: prayer timings, learning the prayer, etc...

        As I have grown in the Deen (way of life) of Islam, I learned that wearing the beard is 'wajib,' or mandatory, for men. This was confusing at first because I was told by some people, it was sunnah, in which they meant recommended but not mandatory. This seemed more plausible at first, as brothers who wear a beard are the minority at the masjids I attend. But after more & more research, listening to lectures, etc., I learned that it is an obligation for me as a Muslim.

        It isn't easy at times. Since I have never had more than a couple of days worth of stubble on my face my whole life, my family is unsure what to make of it. My wife, who is a Christian, is very careful about what she says about it. My young son, who has always said that he "shaved too" after I used to shave, isn't sure what to make of his daddy's beard. But I know in my heart I must do this obligation, this isn't about me. It is an obligation I must undertake to please Allah (SWT), and follow the example of the Prophet :saw: .

        ~ Umar bin Al-Khattab (RA)

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        • #5
          Re: Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

          may Allah make it easy for you to keep and reward you for that aameen :up:
          about your family, it is a new thing for them at the moment, but insha allah slowly they will get used to it and they will see it as the norm to see u with ur beard.. so at that time it would get easier?
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          • #6
            Re: Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

            Originally posted by .: Anna :. View Post
            may Allah make it easy for you to keep and reward you for that aameen :up:
            about your family, it is a new thing for them at the moment, but insha allah slowly they will get used to it and they will see it as the norm to see u with ur beard.. so at that time it would get easier?
            :salams

            Ameen... :jkk: for your dua.

            Insha'Allah, it will be easier for my son. He seems to be getting used to it. I cannot say for certain with my wife. She isn't too excited about my reversion to begin with. She seems to want and ask me if the beard is a Muslim thing, but has not. On the positive side, the brothers I study with, and a couple of others, have said they are pleased to see the beard. They say it looks good.

            ~ Umar bin Al-Khattab (RA)

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            • #7
              Top Ten Excuses for Not Wearing Hijab



              Among the pictures that point to the distance of society from the right path and that make clear the level of its deviation and separation from it is the open spread of women enhancing and making a display of their beauty. We find that this is manifested regretfully,even in Islamic (Muslim) society despite the fact that Islamic clothing is also widespread. So then, what are the reasons that have led to this digression?

              We put this question to a varied group of women from whom we derived ten major excuses and upon examination and scrutiny, the frailty of the excuses became evident to us. Stay with us dear Muslim sister in these few lines so that we can know through them the reasons for turning away from the hijaab and then discuss each.

              Excuse One:Excuse Two: [Soorah An-Nisaa 4: 36]. Obedience to parents is not limited except in one aspect, and that is if they order to disobedience of Allah. Allah said:[Soorah Luqmaan 31: 15]

              The lack of obedience to them in sinfulness does not prevent being good to them and kind treatment of them. Allah said afterward in the same aayah: But behave with them world kindly. In summary: How can you obey your mother and disobey Allah Who created you and your mother?

              Excuse Three:[Soorah At-Taubah 9:81]. How can you compare the heat of your land to the heat of the Hellfire? Know, my sister, that Shaitaan as trapped you in one of his feeble ropes to drag you from the heat of this world to the heat of the Hellfire. Free yourself from his net and view the heat of the sun as a favor and not an affliction especially in that it reminds you of the intensity of the punishment of Allah which is many times greater than the heat you now feel. Return to the order of Allah and sacrifice this worldly comfort in the way of following the path of salvation from the Hellfire about which Allah says: Excuse Five: [Soorah Al-Baqarah 2:45]

              Other causes to put one upon guidance and truth is adherence to the laws of Islam and one of them is indeed wearing the hijaab. Allah said: [Soorah Al-Baqarah 2: 66]. In summary: If you hold tight to the causes of guidance and taste the sweetness of faith you will not neglect the orders of Allah after having held to them.

              Excuse Six:Excuse Seven:[Soorah An-Noor 24: 31] and the statement of Allah: Excuse Eight: I know that hijaab is obligatory (waajib), but I will wear it when Allah guidance me to do so.

              We ask this sister on what plans or steps she will undertake until she accepts this divine guidance? We know that Allah has in His wisdom made a cause or means for everything. That is why the sick take medicine to regain health, and the traveller rides a vehicle or an animal to reach his destination, and other limitless examples.

              Has this sister of ours seriously endeavored to seek true guidance and exerted the proper means to get it such as: Supplicating Allah sincerely as He stated: Excuse Nine: [Soorah Al-Hashr 59: 19]

              My sister wear the hijaab in your young age in opposition to the sinful deed because Allah is intense in punishment and will ask you on the Day of Resurrection about your youth and every moment of your life. In summary: Stop presuming some future expectation in your life will indeed occur!! How can you guarantee your own life until tomorrow?

              Excuse Ten: In Conclusion

              Your body is on display in the market of Shaitan seducting the hearts of men. The hairstyles, the tight clothing showing every detail of your figure, the short dresses showing off your legs and feet, the showy, decorative and fragrant clothing all angers the Merciful and pleases the Shaitaan. Every day that passes while you are in this condition, distances you further from Allah and brings you closer to Shaitaan. Each day curses and anger are directed toward you from the heavens until you repent. Every day brings you closer to the grave and the Angel of Death is ready to capture your soul.
              Last edited by *asiya*; 06-05-08, 09:27 PM.
              "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for Allah can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve, and if you distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily Allah is well-acquainted with all that you do." [An-Nisa 4:135]

              The Prophet :saw: said:

              "Whosoever leaves off obedience and separates from the Jamaa'ah and dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah. Whoever fights under the banner of the blind, becoming angry for 'asabiyyah (nationalism/tribalism/partisanship) or calling to 'asabiyyah, or assisting 'asabiyyah, then dies, he dies a death of jaahiliyyah."

              muslim

              Narrated 'Abdullah:

              The Prophet, said, "Abusing a Muslim is Fusuq (evil doing) and killing him is Kufr (disbelief)." sahih bukhari


              "Creeping upon you is the diseases of those people before you: envy and hatred. And hatred is the thing that shaves. I do not say it shaves the hair but it shaves the religion!

              By the One in whose Hand is my soul, you will not enter paradise until you believe, and you will not believe until you love one another. Certainly, let me inform you of that which may establish such things: spread the greetings and peace among yourselves."

              [Recorded by Imam Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi]

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              • #8
                Re: Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

                wearing the hijab should it be worn with islamic clothing im a new muslim and try to wear the hijab and at times dont, im trying to find in me the strength to wear it always, i have confusion over clothing tho, what advise or information can anyone give me. i see some sisters wear hijabs and jilbabs and i see some sisters wear hijabs and wester clothes i personally feel as a new muslim this a confusing thing. to cover up the whole body, the shape what colours like it may sound like silly to ask all this but coming from a totaly different life everything from little to big i got to ask.

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                • #9
                  Re: Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

                  for the clothes its better if u are able to wear it with the jilbab. if u feel its too much atleast u can start wearing ur scarf all the time with lose clothes like long skirt etc and when u feel more used to it try to move to jilbab? altho in some ways jilbab wil b easier for u cos u wear ur normal clothes underneath and just put it on... whatever the clothes insha allah it should not b tight fitting at all, cos the condition of hijab it has to cover the shape properly. when i was new in islam i did not know this, i used to wear scarf with whatever clothes, like just normal jeans etc
                  if u find it hard to wear it, make alot of dua that Allah wil make it easy for u, and just put ur firm intention and put it on. it wil get easier insha allah.
                  if u dno where to buy these things in ur area we can giv u some website links insha allah for online shopping, if u want
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                  • #10
                    Re: Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

                    take things at a comfortable pace. You don't have to make the transition all in one go, so long as you have the intention to actually make the transition. As Anna says, jilbaab is better, but there are lots of reasons reverts don't wear all the clothes straight away, including not having enough money to buy loads of new things. There is no requirement for any particular style, just that it covers you up including your shape. No particular rules about colours but avoid anything too bright/eyecatching. neon green jilbaab and neon pink hijaab is not really suitable lol... go for nice subdued colours. If you are somewhere like Saudi where everyone wears black you should do also cause even quite mild colours would draw too much attention in Saudi, when the same colours would be very ordinary, even quite boring, in the UK.

                    So abaya or jilbaab is best but nothing wrong with long skirt and baggy t-shirt as this covers exactly the same as a jilbaab (providing it doesn't show your waist). However, as Anna said, jilbaab/abaya is more convenient as you can just wear them over your indoor clothes.

                    As for not wearing it every day... you are new, so go easy on yourself :) just try to wear it absolutely as often as you can, and increase the amount all the time. Also, when you feel like not wearing it, or afraid to wear it... ask yourself why.... if there is any particular problem you can ask us for help with it here... or maybe once you realise what the problem is you'll work out the solution for yourself inshaAllah :) but either way you can come and talk to us here about it inshaAllah :)
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                    • #11
                      Re: Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

                      asalaam alaikum
                      i know it sounds stupid but when i first reverted i found none of my clothes suitable for me to wear! and even the clothes i bought at that time thinking they were modest, now i wouldnt wear them outside! but now i am wearing jilbaab most of the time, i haven't worn it in front of my mum yet though as i am scared of her reaction.

                      Recipes for all the family :inlove:
                      (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

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                      • #12
                        Re: Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

                        My husband wont grow a bread he gets very bad rash under it and it itches his skin badly

                        He shaves it off when it gets to bad for him.
                        is this wrong that he is shaving it off what should he do about the rash and itching

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                        • #13
                          Re: Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

                          salam sis
                          maybe if he sees his GP he wil b able to get something for the rash so that it wil b easier on him to keep a beard
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                          • #14
                            Re: Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

                            You should first of all try seeing a doctor, if the doctor says there is no cure for this rash except for shaving, then consult a scholar who is qualified to give a fatwa (if it gets to that stage ask us again and we can inshaAllah help you find one) When it comes to seeing a doctor, better see a Muslim one if possible, cause I non Muslim one probably won't understand how much Muslims value a beard!!! They might just say if your beard itches shave it off and not be willing to do anything to help.

                            However, one other thing, some people do experience itching and major discomfort whilst certain types of hair are growing back after being shaved off, but this only lasts a couple of days or so. Has your husband tried to see if this will settle down on its own? The beard is designed to grow on the face and its unlikely that he's allergic to his own beard, more likely its just his skin adjusting to it being there.
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                            • #15
                              Re: Struggling to wear hijab/beard?

                              Assalamu Alaikum!
                              I know this thread is kinda old, but I would like some advice. My family is made up of extreme hindus, but they do not know that I reverted to Islam. I want to wear hijab, but I am afraid my family might reject me or fight with me. I was thinking about wearing hijab when my family wasn't around, but I am afraid they might catch me wearing it. Thanks for reading this post.

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