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  • finding it hard !

    Just one quick question Inshallah do you lot find it hard to change ?

    because Im finding it sooooooo hard, because I cant break out of certain habits such as temper, chatting to boys :embar:, being cheeky and doing what I like. minor stuff, and to be honest it gets me down because I feel Im failing BADLY. Im trying and trying but nothing is happening what do I do ?:S please help !!!!
    And He found you lost and guided you,
    ~ Qur'an (Ad Duhaa) 93:7 ~

    Salaah Reminders

    Guide us to the straight pain.
    " Ihdina-s-sirata-l-mustaqim "
    ~ Quran 1:6 ~

    الله أعلم


  • #2
    Re: finding it hard !

    Originally posted by stephenoskie View Post
    Just one quick question Inshallah do you lot find it hard to change ?

    because Im finding it sooooooo hard, because I cant break out of certain habits such as temper, chatting to boys :embar:, being cheeky and doing what I like. minor stuff, and to be honest it gets me down because I feel Im failing BADLY. Im trying and trying but nothing is happening what do I do ?:S please help !!!!

    Salaam sis

    you know a day doesn't go by when I don't have the same thoughts as you.. no.. not about the same issues.. I think we all have our own inner struggles.. but I shared this with someone else recently and they told me something I will never forget...

    If we stop having struggles, then we need to worry. Jihaad is as much about inner struggling for the cause of Allah as external struggles. Each of us will be struggling to bring parts of our lives under submission.. but as we surrender those areas.. insha Allah it becomes easier to deal with.. in acceptance lies peace is a good quote I think. There is a promise to us too.. that after hardship comes ease.

    Insha Allah it will get easier for you sis.. just fix your hope on Allah.. He is the one you are doing all the struggling for insha allah.

    Sis surround yourself with strong sisters.. when the struggles get too much.. talk to them.. insha Allah Allah will surround you with those you can call and share your struggles with.. and insha allah they will share theirs with you

    In the meantime.. I have no idea where this ayat comes from.. but it blessed me so much tonight.. insha Allah it will bless you too

    Allah made it but a message of hope, and an assurance to your hearts: (in any case) there is no help except from Allah: and Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise.
    Last edited by carol_au; 13-06-07, 01:59 PM.
    .
    http://jameelah61.wordpress.com/

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    • #3
      Re: finding it hard !

      Islam wasnt revealed overnight, so it takes time to change a person

      don't use that as an excuse to take your sweet ole time tho..;)

      just keeping asking Allah to make you stronger and start taking steps towards change and also make sure you have good, pious company around you. the friends you keep can hurt or help your emaan.

      Inshaa Allah, you will be fine sis..

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      • #4
        Re: finding it hard !

        It sounds very obvious.......... but it really helps.....

        ask Allah to help you get over these issues, in fact ask Allah to make you get over these issues. There is no power besides Allah, and he is who we should turn to for help (its in surat al Fatiha) ............. (remember even if you are seeking and getting help from another person...... it is Allah who made that person available to help you, gave them the ability to help you etc...... so always ask Allah for help with whatever you do. And thank Allah when someone tries to help you and/or successfully helps you as well as thanking the person inshaAllah.)
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        • #5
          Re: finding it hard !

          oh and by the way, it took me months to give up alcohol ..... no I didn't have a problem with it other than liking the taste of it too much (brought up in a wine loving family ) ...............

          Before I converted, not wanting to give up alcohol was a "sticking point" - until I was given the advice, just convert and start praying and ask Allah to guide me. MashaAllah it worked........ first of all I gave up drinking any quantity that would give me any symptoms of drunkenness (however mild) and after a very short time even half a glass of wine made me feel dizzy so I could hardly drink anything at all, then I read an article about how alcohol increases the risk of getting just about every type of cancer there is especially female cancers and I remember reading it thinking "I think Allah is trying to tell me something" - then I was put on medication that you could not drink whilst you were on it. So Allah did help me mashaAllah, after I came off the medication I didn't want to drink any more and mashaAllah to this day I have no desire to drink alcohol. I sometimes have red grape juice but to be honest I prefer cranberry juice, but red grape juice has all the health benefits that red wine has that you hear non Muslims justifying drinking alcohol for - and without the health damaging effects of alcohol.

          We all have our different struggles, we all need to ask Allah to help and guide us through them inshaAllah. It does get easier inshaAllah. InshaAllah you will look back in a couple of years and think "I can't believe I used to want to do those things...."

          May Allah make it easy for you :love:
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          • #6
            Re: finding it hard !

            gosh, I'm glad you mentioned these things, I'm struggling very much with a few things myself. I'm even getting cravings for bacon butties :embar: makes it worse that I have to go past a greasy spoon cafe on my way to work..... :embar: :embar: :embar:

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            • #7
              Re: finding it hard !

              Originally posted by Revert786 View Post
              gosh, I'm glad you mentioned these things, I'm struggling very much with a few things myself. I'm even getting cravings for bacon butties :embar: makes it worse that I have to go past a greasy spoon cafe on my way to work..... :embar: :embar: :embar:
              Please forgive me if I'm making an incorrect assumption - are you eating enough for breakfast? If you're not, or you're skipping breakfast altogether, then going past cafes on the way to work will tempt you to eat there (bacon or otherwise) - so have a large healthy breakfast, and also make sure you're getting enough protein. I don't know what its like getting halal meat where you live, but if its hard and you're not eating meat at all any more, you need to make sure you are getting enough protein - lack of protein will make you crave meat, and if you're used to eating pig meat from before thats what you will crave. If you can't get halal meat, eat plenty of fish and eggs. Have eggs for breakfast even :up: or kippers lol. They have a smokey flavour (maybe what you used to like about bacon?)

              if its more than that, every time you start to crave bacon, imagine a pig eating faeces, then being killed (and the blood not being drained) and made into bacon. really this is what pigs will do given half a chance. Most farms will claim that their pigs don't do that, are fed wholesome food and so on........ but you never know, do you? All those pigs in the farm pooing everywhere.... even organic free range pigs...... (as for factory farmed pigs - check out the conditions they live in from any animal welfare organisation. that'll put you off bacon for sure inshaAllah)

              Also there was this murder mystery programme I watched one time, where the murderer and the victim worked at a pig farm and the victim's body was fed to the pigs. As the victim would have eaten pig products, working at a pig farm as she did.... and the farm pigs were slaughtered for meat, the food chain would have been:

              pig --> human --> pig --> human

              okay its fiction, but the same food chain is possible as pigs would eat a dead human or a dead animal if they came across it. They are very good at dealing with dead and rotting things, their bodies are designed for it.
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              • #8
                Re: finding it hard !

                OY!!! don't get me started on my list of things...like saying OY all the time :p
                Actually dakhiyya, that story about the pig farm was probably based on a murder that took place in the UK back in the late 60's/early 70's where the killer fed his victim to the pigs on the farm. It might mave been replayed here in Canada with the Willie Picton case that is on trial right now. A serial killer that probably fed his victims to his pigs
                I took the road less traveled...where the heck am I? :scratch:

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                • #9
                  Re: finding it hard !

                  I get the odd bacon craving too...only when i smell it.

                  my mate says its shaytaan trying to lure you off the straight path. So I just think.....get away with you old devil!
                  :o[COLOR="Purple"][FONT="Arial Black"][B][B]HAPPY TO BE A MUSLIMAH![/B][/B][/FONT][/COLOR]:o

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                  • #10
                    Re: finding it hard !

                    Originally posted by Rosheen View Post
                    I get the odd bacon craving too...only when i smell it.

                    my mate says its shaytaan trying to lure you off the straight path. So I just think.....get away with you old devil!
                    Try living in a house where you are the only muslim...in a house full of bacon/ham/pork chop lovers
                    I took the road less traveled...where the heck am I? :scratch:

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: finding it hard !

                      Originally posted by Revert786 View Post
                      gosh, I'm glad you mentioned these things, I'm struggling very much with a few things myself. I'm even getting cravings for bacon butties :embar: makes it worse that I have to go past a greasy spoon cafe on my way to work..... :embar: :embar: :embar:
                      Same here I thought I was a bad person for what that sort of meat but I do miss it, and I think I want it more because I want it but cant have it. But I could never eat it because I know I cant, yeah my ma made a lovelyt fry up yesterday and I couldnt eat because she made pork and it was soooo not fair, also there arent that many things in my house that are Halal, and some times Im so hngy that I want to eat the Haraam thing but I just think forget it isnt worth it, but Ill be honest since I have converted I havent been eating properly because they sarent that many Halala things in my kitchen but Inshallah over the summer hoildays I will learn to cook :) :) :)
                      And He found you lost and guided you,
                      ~ Qur'an (Ad Duhaa) 93:7 ~

                      Salaah Reminders

                      Guide us to the straight pain.
                      " Ihdina-s-sirata-l-mustaqim "
                      ~ Quran 1:6 ~

                      الله أعلم

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: finding it hard !

                        well i guess I have a lot to thank Allah for .. the rest of the family get to eat what I make for them :) I now have a freezer full of halal meat and I have a wonderful sister who always makes me the most beautiful Indian food when I go to pray with her.. she sends it home for the family ..and the many sisters and brothers around the world are keeping me well provided with wonderful recipes from Lebanon, Morocco, Pakistan, Iraq.. yum ... my family are getting used to an international menu these days.. though we do have an aussie meal as well amongst them all :)

                        Sis.. share your problem with another sister.. I'm sure you will find there are sisters nearby who work with reverts. See if they can help you with some solutions. When I first reverted I lived on fish and halal chicken or vegetables.. but since I shared things with the sister she helped me in so many ways.. not the least being ordering the food for me. Alhamdulillah
                        .
                        http://jameelah61.wordpress.com/

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                        • #13
                          Re: finding it hard !

                          Originally posted by carol_au View Post
                          well i guess I have a lot to thank Allah for .. the rest of the family get to eat what I make for them :) I now have a freezer full of halal meat and I have a wonderful sister who always makes me the most beautiful Indian food when I go to pray with her.. she sends it home for the family ..and the many sisters and brothers around the world are keeping me well provided with wonderful recipes from Lebanon, Morocco, Pakistan, Iraq.. yum ... my family are getting used to an international menu these days.. though we do have an aussie meal as well amongst them all :)

                          Sis.. share your problem with another sister.. I'm sure you will find there are sisters nearby who work with reverts. See if they can help you with some solutions. When I first reverted I lived on fish and halal chicken or vegetables.. but since I shared things with the sister she helped me in so many ways.. not the least being ordering the food for me. Alhamdulillah
                          Same here I love chip shop food and I eat a lot of fish, I love fish mashallah. My ma is fussy adn she wont eat asian food but then again she'll make the odd curry which I dont get, my friend made she keemah at my house and she wouldnt cook it, plus she ownt give me the money to go and but Halal food, so I have to make do with what she buys which is nothing that I can eat. to be honest Ive never ate meat, but now she limits the food so that she thinks Ill eat the haraam one but no chance of that happening.
                          And He found you lost and guided you,
                          ~ Qur'an (Ad Duhaa) 93:7 ~

                          Salaah Reminders

                          Guide us to the straight pain.
                          " Ihdina-s-sirata-l-mustaqim "
                          ~ Quran 1:6 ~

                          الله أعلم

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: finding it hard !

                            Asalamalikum.

                            Some wonderful advice and stories posted above :)

                            I also found it hard with regards to boys as I used to be quite a big flirt we'll, in as much as I hated conflict so used to sweet talk everyone so there was no friction but it made me fairly popular with the lads as you can imagine


                            Some things are easier to give up and avoid than others and it'll be different for all of us.

                            As has been mentioned though, we all have a constant struggle and we should worry if things seem too easy for us. I believe that those who struggle the most are closer to Allah. All our Prophets had hard lives and had to struggle. We will never be as close to Him as them but someone who passes through all the 'tests' Allah gives them in their life time will surely be cherished by Him more than the one who gave in and gave up :up:

                            It is also said (although I do not have the exat phrases to hand) that the more you worry the more Allah will increase the things you have to worry about.....meaning you should stop worrying about things and accept what has been put upon you :) It is also said that no soul will be given more than it can bare. I know sisters at times it can really feel like it, but we'll all come out the other side unscathed inshallah :inlove:

                            I am in an odd position that several people would probably frown on where I have an extended 'adopted' muslim family- consisting mainly of men. They are all considered brothers/guardians though and are trusted by my husband to take care of me when I am in their company :)
                            Ahamdilliah my husband and one of the brothers are really close friends and I am close friends with his wife now (another revert) and I am now considered Aunty to their children :inlove: Obviously only an honourary Aunt but it gives me a place in life now and I help with the kids. often when people ask I refer to them as my brother and sister ;)
                            The only other men really are one of his brother in laws who both he and my husband keep tabs on but would never harm me and takes care of me...and then the others are distant realtions of my husband who also have wives and children. They call me elder sister and sister in law even though it's a distant realtionship and they even refer to their children as my nieces and nephews now alhamdillah.

                            Who are we to say who Allah can send to help us? :D With out these generous souls we'd be lost and would have nothing. May Allah take care of them all and keep them safe from harm. Ameen.
                            - *[Mabrook, you just earned blessings by reading my sig :D ]*

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