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  • New Muslim support thread: Xmas sucks edition

    :salams

    difficult time of year for new muslims but post here and we can try support each other inshaAllah
    It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
    "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

  • #2
    @um saf
    Rifqah
    It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
    "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hopefully you will be rewarded for your patience during this time. How many years has it been since you've celebrated?
      The Prophet (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “Allah the Most High said, ‘I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me. If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself; and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it. If he draws near to Me a hand’s length, I draw near to him an arm’s length. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed.’” [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Sara_ View Post
        Hopefully you will be rewarded for your patience during this time. How many years has it been since you've celebrated?
        I became a Muslim in 2009
        It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
        "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

        Comment


        • #5
          Are you not able to go away for the holidays or you are forced to spend it with family?
          Women lost their modesty when men lost their gheerah..” .

          Comment


          • #6
            AsSalaamu Alaykum brothers and sisters,

            Ah yes the headache that this time of year causes when around my family is unreal SubhanAllah.

            My family still give gifts to us even after I have said I do not want them and I would rather they give us at Eid if they felt they wanted to- instead its been completely ignored and leading up to it they ask my child what she wants Santa to bring her, look what Santa gave when giving the gifts etc..So I accept the gifts, visit family (as I go all year round so would cause drama if I didn't) but I made it clear to everyone and my child that we do not believe in it nor will we celebrate anything other than Eid and Ramadan inshaAllah.

            I find it incredibly difficult in truth right now because my family have helped me so much the past few years and I am grateful I just feel like I am pressured into it because I want to keep the peace. Last year I had I huge issue with my family saying I was cruel for saying I wasn't decorating the house-no xmas tree etc, for telling my child santa isn't real and the rest 'as all the Muslims around them celebrate both Christmas and Eid so I was just being difficult for the sake of being so and that was cruel on my daughter' I refused to accept the advent calendar they bought her and that caused a huge drama, I don't give gifts and explain why- I truly stress out constantly living near them in truth,i miss living away from them/abroad a lot because of their attitude towards my faith.

            I do use this time to talk about and remind myself and my child of Prophet Esa Pbuh and Maryam Ra and the truth about his birth and prophethood as my child is learning the Christian opinion at nursery. Alhamdulillah she does tells everyone we don't celebrate Christmas we celebrate Eid as we are muslims- so in the confusion I must be doing something right, still have al long way to go though inshaAllah.

            my posts are always huge- sorry.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Um_Saf View Post
              AsSalaamu Alaykum brothers and sisters,

              Ah yes the headache that this time of year causes when around my family is unreal SubhanAllah.

              My family still give gifts to us even after I have said I do not want them and I would rather they give us at Eid if they felt they wanted to- instead its been completely ignored and leading up to it they ask my child what she wants Santa to bring her, look what Santa gave when giving the gifts etc..So I accept the gifts, visit family (as I go all year round so would cause drama if I didn't) but I made it clear to everyone and my child that we do not believe in it nor will we celebrate anything other than Eid and Ramadan inshaAllah.

              I find it incredibly difficult in truth right now because my family have helped me so much the past few years and I am grateful I just feel like I am pressured into it because I want to keep the peace. Last year I had I huge issue with my family saying I was cruel for saying I wasn't decorating the house-no xmas tree etc, for telling my child santa isn't real and the rest 'as all the Muslims around them celebrate both Christmas and Eid so I was just being difficult for the sake of being so and that was cruel on my daughter' I refused to accept the advent calendar they bought her and that caused a huge drama, I don't give gifts and explain why- I truly stress out constantly living near them in truth,i miss living away from them/abroad a lot because of their attitude towards my faith.

              I do use this time to talk about and remind myself and my child of Prophet Esa Pbuh and Maryam Ra and the truth about his birth and prophethood as my child is learning the Christian opinion at nursery. Alhamdulillah she does tells everyone we don't celebrate Christmas we celebrate Eid as we are muslims- so in the confusion I must be doing something right, still have al long way to go though inshaAllah.

              my posts are always huge- sorry.
              May Allah make things easy

              is there any member of your family who isn' as bad whom you could get to tell the others to back off a little
              It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
              "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

              Comment


              • #8
                I'm not a new/revert Muslim, I was born to a Muslim family and culture so don't have issues with Christmas celebrated at home. However, being born plus raised in the West means that Christmas culture is inescapable.

                It is even more difficult when you have very little practice Muslim or even just Muslim friends in general. Right now, my BFF (best friend forever) is a Christian girl, who's just an amazing individual, I wish the best for her including Islam.

                However, despite the fact that she recognizes that December 25th aka Christmas was not the birthday of Jesus alayhis salaam, she wants a Christmas present. I've consented to getting one, cos my faith is very weak nowadays.

                However, I want to turn back on my word as my faith is getting stronger. But, if I turn back on my word she will be disappointed and quite upset. I don't want to make a big deal of our religious differences, I mean she's helped me so much in life, and has never made me feel bad about my religion and she says good stuff about Islam.

                Can I give her a present randomly to replace a Christmas gift?

                :)
                وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

                Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
                  I'm not a new/revert Muslim, I was born to a Muslim family and culture so don't have issues with Christmas celebrated at home. However, being born plus raised in the West means that Christmas culture is inescapable.

                  It is even more difficult when you have very little practice Muslim or even just Muslim friends in general. Right now, my BFF (best friend forever) is a Christian girl, who's just an amazing individual, I wish the best for her including Islam.

                  However, despite the fact that she recognizes that December 25th aka Christmas was not the birthday of Jesus alayhis salaam, she wants a Christmas present. I've consented to getting one, cos my faith is very weak nowadays.

                  However, I want to turn back on my word as my faith is getting stronger. But, if I turn back on my word she will be disappointed and quite upset. I don't want to make a big deal of our religious differences, I mean she's helped me so much in life, and has never made me feel bad about my religion and she says good stuff about Islam.

                  Can I give her a present randomly to replace a Christmas gift?

                  :)
                  Just explain it to her, say celebrating xmas and giving presents goes against Islamic teachings then say you'll get her something special another time

                  she might get annoyed but better that than displeasing Allah
                  It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
                  "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post
                    Just explain it to her, say celebrating xmas and giving presents goes against Islamic teachings then say you'll get her something special another time

                    she might get annoyed but better that than displeasing Allah
                    Thanks, will also ask Allah to help me get around the situation. Its good that she doesn't believe in the 25th December thing as I could use that to explain the falseness of Christmas.

                    Also, Salaam Kiwi, I haven't posted here in ages. I hope you're ok.
                    وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                    And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                    أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                    Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


                    Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

                    Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post

                      Thanks, will also ask Allah to help me get around the situation. Its good that she doesn't believe in the 25th December thing as I could use that to explain the falseness of Christmas.

                      Also, Salaam Kiwi, I haven't posted here in ages. I hope you're ok.
                      wa alaikum salam rahmatullah wa barakatu

                      am well alhamdulilah but am looking forward to the 26th as my family are a bit loopy this time of year lolz
                      It may not be easy, you may not understand it, but you need to have the Imaan to trust Allah when life doesn't make sense.
                      "Whoever intends eternal happiness, then let him hold tight to the threshold of servitude.” ibn Taymiyyah.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post

                        May Allah make things easy

                        is there any member of your family who isn' as bad whom you could get to tell the others to back off a little
                        AsSalaamu Alaykum brother, JazakAllah Khairan.

                        The answer to that question is no, my father is the one who respects me the most Alhamdulillah but even he thinks religion is illogical-they are all atheists so the concept of god they don't understand unfortunately, they even make jokes of Christianity for example- but they are purely ignorant as many are about Islam preferring to believe the media over me and then also using born Muslims doing things as a way to persuade me as if they do it why cant I?

                        Another thing is they think that its not fair on my child that she is stopped doing something just because I believe it. But then according to them if my mother was alive I wouldn't have became religious. I just if they think that strongly that religion is wrong surely that's the same as me encouraging/teaching my child to accept my beliefs when she is a child, ultimately its the same thing, as a parent you want your child to believe what you do.

                        The funny thing is when I reverted they said we don't care whether your a Muslim or not-clearly that was a lie. Alhamdulillah my dad is the only one who wishes us on Eid and he buys Eid gifts instead of xmas, but my family are very close knit and also very traditionally British you could say, so its like a pack mentality-they are of the opinion that the British way is the right way and there's no changing them. At the same time they look after each other when in need, its just stressful fighting them constantly about small things.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post

                          wa alaikum salam rahmatullah wa barakatu

                          am well alhamdulilah but am looking forward to the 26th as my family are a bit loopy this time of year lolz
                          Ah my family do things on the 26th (visit my mothers side, then my aunt does a buffet) so my stress is until the 27th but then they are preparing for the new years eve celebrations

                          InshaAllah this year all our family and friends back off with their loopyness for us.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
                            I'm not a new/revert Muslim, I was born to a Muslim family and culture so don't have issues with Christmas celebrated at home. However, being born plus raised in the West means that Christmas culture is inescapable.

                            It is even more difficult when you have very little practice Muslim or even just Muslim friends in general. Right now, my BFF (best friend forever) is a Christian girl, who's just an amazing individual, I wish the best for her including Islam.

                            However, despite the fact that she recognizes that December 25th aka Christmas was not the birthday of Jesus alayhis salaam, she wants a Christmas present. I've consented to getting one, cos my faith is very weak nowadays.

                            However, I want to turn back on my word as my faith is getting stronger. But, if I turn back on my word she will be disappointed and quite upset. I don't want to make a big deal of our religious differences, I mean she's helped me so much in life, and has never made me feel bad about my religion and she says good stuff about Islam.

                            Can I give her a present randomly to replace a Christmas gift?

                            :)
                            When I was at school I had a muslim BFF and it was before I knew all that much about the deen, she always gave us xmas gifts and we gave her them. Looking back I am sure she did it because of social pressure. If she had of explained I think (hope) as teens we would have agreed that we would get her gifts on Christmas and she could give on Eid if she wanted- or just have said we wouldn't do the gift giving full stop.

                            you are correct that it is socially difficult even for born muslims, secret santas at work etc..I think most non-muslims do not see the big deal-its only a gift after all and the majority of them don't believe in christanity-but it is a big deal..

                            I would politely explain-inshaAllah if she was a good friend I am sure she would understand, if not i'd personally be questioning her friendship. No one should make you feel uncomfortable or bad for not giving a gift- how many people who celebrate xmas struggle financially so are pressured to give gifts when they cant really afford it, people should understand others circumstances.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
                              I'm not a new/revert Muslim, I was born to a Muslim family and culture so don't have issues with Christmas celebrated at home. However, being born plus raised in the West means that Christmas culture is inescapable.

                              It is even more difficult when you have very little practice Muslim or even just Muslim friends in general. Right now, my BFF (best friend forever) is a Christian girl, who's just an amazing individual, I wish the best for her including Islam.

                              However, despite the fact that she recognizes that December 25th aka Christmas was not the birthday of Jesus alayhis salaam, she wants a Christmas present. I've consented to getting one, cos my faith is very weak nowadays.

                              However, I want to turn back on my word as my faith is getting stronger. But, if I turn back on my word she will be disappointed and quite upset. I don't want to make a big deal of our religious differences, I mean she's helped me so much in life, and has never made me feel bad about my religion and she says good stuff about Islam.

                              Can I give her a present randomly to replace a Christmas gift?

                              :)
                              Celebrating the act of christmas can be shirk depending on what you do and can make u a kaafir
                              so dont give her a gift
                              if shes tre friend shel understand why
                              although u should not be friends with kuffar as mohammed :saw: your the religion of your friend

                              and if you arent influencing them then they ​​​​​​will influence u trust me ive been there
                              so unless shes interested in islam tawheed and mohammed :saw: stop chilling with her

                              Comment

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