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    #16
    Re: Tell us your story :)

    aww masha allah sis thanks for telling us ur story :D may allah keep u always on the straight path ameen :love:
    .: Rufaida :.
    .:Fa Firroo Ila-llaah:.
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    ďPeople praise you for what they suppose is in you,
    but you must blame your soul for what you know is in you.Ē
    ~ Ibn Atallah

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      #17
      Re: Tell us your story :)

      Originally posted by dhakiyya View Post

      In the midst of all this, for a really quite boring reason, I had to move to Wales at 24 hours notice.

      ..............to be continued..................................
      Dhakiyya, I would love to read the rest of your story if you have ever have time to type it up.:)

      That was a thoroughly enjoyable read and, although I know how it ends, I would love to read how you got there.

      I'm on the edge of my seat!:)

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        #18
        Re: Tell us your story :)

        Gosh I'd forgotten I hadn't finished it lol......... sorry to keep you in suspense mashaAllah




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          #19
          Re: Tell us your story :)

          Asalamalikum.

          I'll be honest I still feel a bit embarrassed telling any stories about my previous life to groups of asain women, intently interested on how I reverted/met my husband/ got married etc but inshallah (Allah willing) one day I will have the confidence to say it with a steady gaze and no guilt :up:
          They say you are completely clensed of all sins when you convert - but I've never been one to let myself off easily ;)
          (Take a big breath because I always write essays and I can garuntee it'll feel like a life story!!!)


          I got involved with my husband (to be!) when I was 18yrs and he was 21yrs. I started working at the same company as him. We didn't even know each other existed until then.
          I used to tease him but that's only because he made me laugh (a rare gift that! ;) ) and eventually it went from playful teasing to "I have a crush on you" teasing. I was involved with someone else but I was unhappy and the relationship was failing the more he was away drinking in pubs :(
          That eventually broke off and I lost that circle of friends as they were very "clicky" and didn't want to know me anymore. I started going out to the pub with my work collegues and my husband-to-be every week instead.
          I got into a relationship with someone else but it wasn't very serious for my part. It was mainly because he was a nice guy and I felt lonely. At some point during this I'd admitted to a work collegue that I fancied him (my husband-to-be) as I'd started day dreaming and staring at him a lot :inlove: so it had been hard to hide. I never expected anything to come of it...I mean come on....he was pakistani - I was a white girl who knew nothing about his customs...his parents would never agree to him dating me....

          I went away on holiday with this other chap I was seeing and something cracked off at work because my husband-to-be started calling me every day and texting me several times a day. It turns out everybody had been pressuring him telling him how much I liked him and that I wasn't serious about my fella
          When I got back things went a bit mad. We had a very love hate relationship with each other - always falling out! I some times stayed at his house if a group of us had been out drinking or had gone over to visit (we both had rented houses and stayed by ourselves) and we'd stop up late watching movies or talking, just the two of us and then "crash" (fall asleep coz you just can't stay up any longer!) on the sofa.

          I'll cut a big chunk out of the story but basically he was being evicted because his house was to be sold and I was desperate for house mates to share the bills....so I cut it off with my fella....moved hubby-to-be (we then started dating) and a few mates in....we stayed like that for 4-5months and then lack of jobs forced me and hubby-to-be up north to start a new life together. By then he'd admitted to me that he was muslim which was something non of us had known!!
          He also admitted he was foreign and his visa was about to expire! We'll I certainly had my 2cents to give him "IF YOU'RE MUSLIM THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU DRINKING? WHY ARE YOU SCARED TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT? DIDN'T YOU TRUST ME OR SOMETHING?" along with "WELL I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE FOREIGN IT'S NOT LIKE I'VE BEEN EASY PICKINGS AND YOU'VE SPENT THE LAST YEAR SEDUCING ME SO I MARRY YOU FOR A VISA" :up:

          I spent a month or so solid online researching Islam (I even came on here!) and when I wasn't looking online we'd often spend a few moments every night discussing it. I was fascinated by religion and had looked breifly at most of the main religions to bide my time but my family are all non religious (bar my grandma who is born again christian)...I found christianity seriously flawed though and loved compairing my limited knowledge of it to Islam...sometimes even discussing with my Grandma.

          The more I learnt the more it fitting in with my own feelings and I believed it and my heart yearned for it. It got to the point where I didn't dispute anything I was told because it made sense...or at least more sense than anything else. I wasn't brain washed...I'd just finally found something that made a lot more sense! :D My heart was bursting to be able to say that I believed in it all.....but hubby-to-be warned me.
          He said something along the lines of "you're not ready" many times and what he meant was ready for living life as a Muslim...especially because then we'd have to get married ASAP and I'd have to cope with being a wife as well.

          He took me to a few open days that were advertised locally for the mosque to satisfy my curiosity (but he never goes to mosque himself). Then when Ramadan came I decided I wanted to fast with him :)

          During Ramadan I went to another open day to show the local MP's etc what goes on inside a mosque during the month of fasting. He'd wanted to come himself but got stuck at work so he asked a 'brother' to keep an eye on me (byt this time he was my finace with permission from his family to marry me!). I was really shy. There was a lady who I'm sure took Shahada that very day because she seemed to know a lot of the sisters helping and half way through they all ran off squeaking in excitement :scratch:
          Which left me with just the brothers

          I'd made a few hints to one of them that I was fasting but the guy didn't really pay attention We broke fast (mp's etc just ate water and dates looking very confused lol!) and went into some rooms where there were displays, a buffet, pictures, a computer thingy-majig and everybody started talking. People seemed to be asking the silliest questions - but then I knew better by now! ;)

          Eventually I got engaged in a convo with one of the brothers (a little embarrassed because he was a guy and I didn't have my fella with me ) but he quickly learnt that I was serious and had knowledge about Islam. We had a really good discussion and the brother that was meant to be keeping an eye on me came over and joined in. I was saying that I wanted to be a Muslim but that I did too many bad things though and the one thing that I NEVER wanted to be was a BAD Muslim! :(
          He said the most wonderful thing to me alhamdillah! (thank/praise Allah)
          He told me (appologies- my words my not be exact).... "in my eyes people like you are the best muslims, because you start off knowing no better and you CHOOSE to change your lives and live the way of Islam and often you are more truthful and have more faith than people like me who are born Muslims and take our religion for granted" :inlove:

          Then they went on to talk about 'the start is to recite the Kulma' and started to explain to me what it was - in English
          Well I knew the Kulma like the back of my hand ;) And so I stated it there and then for them - in arabic obviously!
          At first they looked shocked for a few seconds...and then massive grins came accross their faces! And they started telling everyone "we have a new sister!" :D They prortised me then in other sections of the visit to get Quran and a few phone numbers etc. I felt so special :)

          I met my fiance from work and told him. He was shocked as well! But then he smiled because he was happy for me. When we got home he voiced concerns about "did I know what I had done?...how hard it was going to be?" and I just stated that yes I did but how could I hold the feeling in my heart another moment? I just had to say 'Yes I believe it all!'.

          Admittedly we still didn't marry for the best part of a year and when we did it was short and simple with only 2 witnesses. We'd been holding out for a big family event but then we just couldn't wait any longer.

          ....and the rest of it is, how they say...history! :up:
          I've since had another wedding abroad with just friends present....we've got him a new visa which will last another 2years then he gets indefinate leave....and I've had my ups and downs and still struggle with "correct procedure" but my faith is strong and my knowledge and understanding Islam is always growing as I do a lot of listening and reading :)
          I don't go around in shawls very often and a few other small things, think I will always be stronger in understanding than actions but inshallah (Allah willing) one day they will be equal.

          What every revert should remember is this:
          It took a generation for the first muslims to learn everything. It got reveiled slowly to them bit by bit and they had the messenger and his companions to ask direct questions to. As a revert you are not expected to know everything straight away...or in a few months....or even in a few years. You'll learn it all slowly ;) and I'd be wairy of anyone, even a born Muslim, who claims to 'know it all'. You can't call them a lier because this is not the done thing and reflects badly on your character (making such accusations) but you can certainly lead by example and avoid their company.
          Last edited by Umm Farooq; 21-12-07, 08:43 PM. Reason: typo which didn't make sense
          Bismill‚h ir-Rahm‚n ir-RahÓm
          Qul huwa All‚hu ahad
          All‚hus-samad
          Lam yalid wa lam yŻlad
          Wa lam yakul-la-hŻ kufu-wan ahad
          - *[Mabrook, you just earned blessings by reading my sig :D ]*

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            #20
            Re: Tell us your story :)

            I'm sorry to thread hog but after reading my post I guess I didn't really put any emotion into it (after all that typing ) I'll try and make it brief for you! :up:

            Growing up I always believed in God (- in Islam they believe you are born with it!)
            However my family are non religious and when ever I expressed an interest...I wasn't patronised as such but I still felt foolish. My Gran was a born again Christian - the only one of us with a religion, and people always made a quick pop at her if religion came up :( although my family had the feeling "as long as you don't preach at me then live and let live" so they never meant serious harm....but it still put the idea in me that if you are religious you must be a bit weird.

            I was a bright kid and used to ponder the wonders of the universe on a regular basis. But the only religion open to me - both in school and at home, was Christianity.....and I point blank didn't believe in that Not even once was I tempted. In fact when we stayed with my Gran over summer holidays she'd take us to sunday shcool and I'd get told off for asking too many questions At the age of 8yr-9yr I realised it wasn't school law to say grace or sing hymes and so I'd sit silently and refuse. I always filled in school papers "no religion" if they asked.

            During my pre and early teens I started actively looking into religions. I read up on Judaism, Buddhism, Christianity and Wicca. Non of them were the thing for me
            I had more of a supersticious faith rather than a strong one. I'd often wear a cross (but never a crucfix!) and if I wanted something for 100% honest and good reasons I'd find myself rubbing it and asking God to help me. And seriously without a lie it always worked! But I'd only ask if it was a pure thing such as catching the school bus (when by all logical reasoning it should have left 10mins ago...yet it was somehow delayed.....every time! ;) )
            I've never really had any serious hardships in my life either - from my point of view. No nasty deaths or accidents that I didn't bounce back from.

            By mid teens I was suffering from a lot of angst and felt "left out by God" and so I rebelled with the whole rocker/goth thing....to a society I saw as corrupt and a God who was obscuring Himself from me. I still pondered the world a lot more than most kids in my school. I'd often sit and think if anyone realised that we could all die any minute? I'd daydream out a meteor striking the school and we all burn to death in an instant (nice ey? ) but it was only because people seemed to think they were invincible.

            By 17yrs this had passed. I still lived a more 'alternative' lifestyle but I was just a normal westerner teenager. At this age I started drinking, went to college, got part time jobs etc.....and just got on with my life.
            Bismill‚h ir-Rahm‚n ir-RahÓm
            Qul huwa All‚hu ahad
            All‚hus-samad
            Lam yalid wa lam yŻlad
            Wa lam yakul-la-hŻ kufu-wan ahad
            - *[Mabrook, you just earned blessings by reading my sig :D ]*

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              #21
              Re: Tell us your story :)

              subhannallah i just spent an hour typing my story and got logged out aaaaarrrggghhh....
              avatar from deviant art :)

              bring back PAGAL LADOOOO:up:

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                #22
                Re: Tell us your story :)

                awwwwwwwwww I hate it when that happens !!!!!!! even worse my husband's always there saying "I keep telling you to cut and paste it into notepad before you send it!" :p

                pls type it again sis when you get time inshaAllah :)

                (inshaAllah I'll try to make time to finish my story inshaAllah)




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                  #23
                  Re: Tell us your story :)

                  Originally posted by dhakiyya View Post
                  awwwwwwwwww I hate it when that happens !!!!!!! even worse my husband's always there saying "I keep telling you to cut and paste it into notepad before you send it!" :p

                  pls type it again sis when you get time inshaAllah :)

                  (inshaAllah I'll try to make time to finish my story inshaAllah)

                  lol! my husband does that too!
                  avatar from deviant art :)

                  bring back PAGAL LADOOOO:up:

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                    #24
                    Re: Tell us your story :)

                    Ok heres my story in short bursts...

                    My father is moroccan my mother english/irish.

                    They married when my mum was 18 and my dad 26, she was catholic lapsed he was non practising muslim.
                    when i was 4 or 5 my mum became interested in islam and i remember my father teaching her how to pray.

                    My parents had 5 children, and an awful marriage, my mother left for months on end time and time again, my father always brought her home again until i was 11 when she left for good leaving me and my 2 brothers behind to suffer with my oppressive father and taking my younger siblings.

                    We didnt have any contact with her for 3 years, those were the worst years of my life and Allahu alam, I pray noone ever has to suffer what we did as children.
                    avatar from deviant art :)

                    bring back PAGAL LADOOOO:up:

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                      #25
                      Re: Tell us your story :)

                      My brother and I stopped refering to our mum as mum and had other horrible names for her, my youngest brother would often cry himself to sleep, he was only 6 when she left, my dad turned to drink for comfort.

                      When i was 14 i had enough, i began to stand up to my dad, and bullies at school.

                      There was no islam in my home, except for a few sweet months in the summer of 1991 when my dads friend passed away suddenly and he began to pray and taught us how to pray, we heard the wonderful sound of his tajweed and he'd sob as he read quran with such a wonderful voice, i learnt he had studied quran for many years as a child and i wonder now if he was ever hafiz allahu alam, as this time was short lived.
                      avatar from deviant art :)

                      bring back PAGAL LADOOOO:up:

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                        #26
                        Re: Tell us your story :)

                        at 16 my dad began to look for a husband for me(aaarrggghh) various moroccan men were shown to me, none practising all older, some much older, i was scared.

                        At 16 I had fallen inlove with my friends boy friend, he was a gentleman, he was kind and caring and she treated him like c*** i loved him from a far for a few months before approaching him, we began to spend time together, all very innocent. I told him my dad planned to marry me off to a stranger.
                        Last edited by ummbilal; 22-12-07, 10:46 PM.
                        avatar from deviant art :)

                        bring back PAGAL LADOOOO:up:

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                          #27
                          Re: Tell us your story :)

                          At 17 I moved in with him and his family who treated me very kindly.

                          At 22 i met my mum after 11 years , she had left islam many years before and become a Bahai

                          http://www.bahaiawareness.com/bahai02.html

                          she tried to convert me several times and is still trying, authu bilahi minal shaitani rajeem.

                          at 24 i should have been happy i had someone who loved me, 2 beautiful sons, yet i wasnt happy, i made a half hearted attepmt to pray for a couple of weeks found out i hadnt been doing it right and gave up(i had been wearing nail polish the whole time!) but i became facinated with Muslimahs, i would stare in the street(yes i was that person!) and wonder how they seemed so happy all covered up, here i was lettin it all hang out (stafighla) and felt miserable, men in shops rushed to help me, i thought they were friendly...sigh..i know better now.
                          avatar from deviant art :)

                          bring back PAGAL LADOOOO:up:

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                            #28
                            Re: Tell us your story :)

                            Then sep 11th happened, this was the kick up the behind we had been waiting for, i sat fixed to the news for days, shaking with fear of death, i was far from ready to die, i knew enough to know i was doing many many things that were deeply wrong.

                            I began to search islam online, i was shocked muslims were being blamed for what seemed to me a clear sign from Allah, the towers going down still sticks in my mind, as my personal wake up call.

                            I read quran online and found the beautiful ayah of hijaab.

                            I fished out a head scarf and called my brother to accompany me to the school to pick up my son, i soon learnt people dont care waht u wear and how u change they are too worried about themselves.

                            My husband was all for the conversion to Islam he had already made sure we ate halal and didnt drink many years before and he went to the mosque to organize our nikah for the next week or so.

                            We lived seperatly for a week and i fasted to try and make up all the years i'd missed not realizing i was a convert and didn't need to as my slate was clean.
                            avatar from deviant art :)

                            bring back PAGAL LADOOOO:up:

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                              #29
                              Re: Tell us your story :)

                              we were married after id had a week to find a dress (slightly too short )i had one female friend in the masjid most of my friends thought i'd gone insane and deserted me, my brother was my wali and my other brother one of our witnesses, the shiekh that married us was the infamous Abdullah Faisal, truely a good man, who didnt preach hate at all, i believe he may have added a few comments that hindus would find offensive but he was soft spoken and very very shy.

                              anyway..
                              I cried and cried that day, finally i could hold my head up as a Muslimah, we prayed asr my first salah in a mosque, my wonderful sister in islam lent me her jilbab as my dress was just shy of my ankles, may Allah give her Jannah al firdaws for her motherly way when i had no mother there,

                              the other sisters offered to re pin my slipping hijaab and instructed me what to say when the sheikh spoke to me.

                              I was walking on air when we came home.....Allhumdulilah and i know my husband felt the same......:)
                              avatar from deviant art :)

                              bring back PAGAL LADOOOO:up:

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                                #30
                                Re: Tell us your story :)

                                The lack of a mother in my childhood had a profound effect on me, i decided to give everything i had to my children, i home educated and studied to be a doula a woman who supports other mothers through pregnancy, labour and post labour, to help them bond with their child properly.

                                Allhumdulilah we now have 3 sons and another on the way inshallah, i still have contact with my mum but not my dad, i consulted a sheikh with regard to my duties toward him as a father and i got my answer.

                                I miss those first sweet days of Islam when everything is black and white and u feel un touchable by anyone as u only fear Allah, i pray my iman can be lifted to that status again inshaallah.
                                avatar from deviant art :)

                                bring back PAGAL LADOOOO:up:

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