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Men Watching Female speakers & Women watching male speakers...

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
    Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah.

    I've never really given it too much thought but it occurred to a few times before fleetingly and now recently...

    Sisters don't have too many options when it comes to female Islamic speakers (or maybe they do and I just don't know them?) and it's commonly the case that they will be watching videos of a male daa'i or scholar...

    As a brother, I don't watch female speakers and I don't believe it's acceptable for me to do so, but if I did, I wonder would I start to admire the speaker 'a little too much' and in the wrong ways...? If she speaks well, maybe in an appealing manner, has a charming demeanour, if she speaks of things that resonate with me while she is also blessed with some physical beauty?

    I'm sure you understand what I mean here.

    Is it an issue for sisters?
    ​​​​​​Do you just listen and avoid looking at the male speaker in the video?
    Would you disapprove of your husband or future husband watching/listening to a female speaker?

    Brothers, would you be uncomfortable with your wife watching a particular favourite male speaker / speakers, especially if they are charismatic, good-looking, etc, etc?

    (Mutiple Choice Poll, btw, and anonymous)
    We haven't been told to lower our gaze if we admire the speaker akhi,

    We've been commanded by Allah عز و جل to lower our gaze,

    Wether we think we feel attracted, admire the speaker or not.


    • #32
      Originally posted by Fakhri View Post
      I think one of the reasons behind me thinking a little more about this whole issue was a video my sister posted to me on my phone. It was of a sister claiming she along with a number of other practicing sisters were married, used, abused mentally and physically and divorced (discarded) in quick succession by yet another very well-known person thought of as a scholar / taalibul ilm.

      Clearly people develop admiration and also other feelings for such people. We have a tendency to be forgetful of the good we have also and shaitaan loves to make the grass look greener on the other side, so even with married people there could be stirrings of dissatisfaction and other things arising...(?)

      (Just on that, the amount of comments you find on certain videos where people are saying things such as 'I wish I had a husband like him ' or 'if my husband was only like him' and similar.)

      I hadn't really thought meaningfully about it from the the point of view of a husband or a wife until now, especially with a few of these recent unsavoury situations coming to light.

      For a brother to be watching a female speaker, being male myself I can appreciate why we should not be watching (or even be listening to) female speakers. For some reason I had this default acceptance that it isn't really a big issue for women though, or that practicing sisters naturally and easily refrain from looking at the person speaking given the context of this whole discussion.

      The points made by Sr @Rumaysah...

      Hmmm... Sister mentioned preference. It makes me think, unless we're talking about a different kind of knowledge being imparted and in a very different setting, could we really say there is an actual need?

      ...And some would say (as has been done to be fair) that woman could listen to those same reminders without having to look..?

      ​​​​​For myself probably the most powerful, deeply penetrating words of reminder and teaching I have listened to over the years were only audio recordings of shuyookh talking (alhamdulillah).

      There are also the fiqhi rulings themselves on these matters where I think we're likely to find a few differing opinions - those haven't been bought up yet. The thread was really just as a result of my own quiet musings on the matter, though, and as something for us to think about in relation to ourselves if we hadn't already.
      Are you referring to a UK speaker or someone overseas?


      • #33
        Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

        Are you referring to a UK speaker or someone overseas?
        Not UK-based, sister. I'd prefer to not give away too many details, inshaa'Allah, so I can't really say much else.

        (Jazaa'akallah Khair)
        "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
        NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).


        • #34
          Originally posted by Fakhri View Post

          Not UK-based, sister. I'd prefer to not give away too many details, inshaa'Allah, so I can't really say much else.

          (Jazaa'akallah Khair)
          That's understandable.