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  • lingerie on wedding night

    My wedding day is coming up in 3 months inshallah and I'm nervous about being with my husband. I love him very much but I'm just nervous about things like if he'll notice imperfections like my tummy isn't nice and flat.I'm a good and healthy weight but i'm not absolutely fit and as attractive as I can possibly be in terms of physical fitness. Another problem is that I don't know if I should seem ready to consummate the marriage on the wedding night and wear lingerie in front of my husband.Will he think that i'm too daring and open and seem unshy and as a result will I become unattractive to him? I don't know how brothers think with regards to this. My husband knows that i tend to be shy and have never associated with men in any way that isn't an islamic manner 100% but if I wear lingerie will he think that I'm too forward and not shy on our wedding night? Should I just wear my regular PJ's and get into bed even though he might be looking forward to consummating the marriage? What if I wear the lingerie but he wants to give me space and not consummate the marriage, that would be embarrassing for me and I would feel that i've been to forward and that my husband has rejected me.All these thoughts are making me nervous.I don't know what to do.

  • #2
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    I would feel better replying to this properly if it was in women only section, non the less Il still answer.

    Make an effort but keep it nice and sweet. Don't give away too much on the first night, there's plenty of time for that. Keep him wanting more. That way there will be nice surprises for him as you progress through your marriage. If you give away too much on the first night he may get bored of it later, keep him wanting more of you. Make sure you look nice and wear something nice and sexy under your wedding outfit but not too over the top. It's his first time with you so just being able to touch you would work lol. Instead of changing into night wear, may be you could allow him to undress you out of your wedding outfit revealing what lies beneath then take it from there.....lol

    About imperfections, don't worry about it so much no ones perfect. Take care of things in your control like personal hygiene and grooming. Wear nice perfume and he'll be drooling over you in no time and wont even notice little details. And even if he does, I'm sure he's not perfect either. Be confident in yourself, don't point things out like unflat tummy as its probably just in your head so don't put it into his head too.

    Congratulations. May Allah bless your union, ameen

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: lingerie on wedding night

      There is no islamic ruling to consumate the marriage on the wedding night! It's culturally made up!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: lingerie on wedding night

        :salams

        Sister, just let your husband know or ask him whether he would want to consummate right away or would he rather wait until you both are more comfortable with each other. :insha: That way you won't have this fear of "unknown."

        Make sure you ask this AFTER THE NIKAH.

        Originally posted by congrats View Post
        Congratulations. May Allah bless your union, ameen
        Ameen.
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: lingerie on wedding night

          Originally posted by wonderingsis View Post
          My wedding day is coming up in 3 months inshallah and I'm nervous about being with my husband. I love him very much but I'm just nervous about things like if he'll notice imperfections like my tummy isn't nice and flat.I'm a good and healthy weight but i'm not absolutely fit and as attractive as I can possibly be in terms of physical fitness. Another problem is that I don't know if I should seem ready to consummate the marriage on the wedding night and wear lingerie in front of my husband.Will he think that i'm too daring and open and seem unshy and as a result will I become unattractive to him? I don't know how brothers think with regards to this. My husband knows that i tend to be shy and have never associated with men in any way that isn't an islamic manner 100% but if I wear lingerie will he think that I'm too forward and not shy on our wedding night? Should I just wear my regular PJ's and get into bed even though he might be looking forward to consummating the marriage? What if I wear the lingerie but he wants to give me space and not consummate the marriage, that would be embarrassing for me and I would feel that i've been to forward and that my husband has rejected me.All these thoughts are making me nervous.I don't know what to do.
          Sister
          I think you are worrying too much.

          Leave the lingerie until later, if you are shy, you are shy, there is no fault in that.

          Just take care of your personal hygiene and grooming, wear some new freshly laundered PJs and frankly go with the flow.

          If you are both ready, thats fine but if either of you need a little more time then take that time, you have plenty of it.

          And re-visit this thread in 4 or 5 months time and give yourself a wry smile.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: lingerie on wedding night

            Please, dont listen to this advice.

            Men are simple and you should be straight forward to them.

            Wear beautiful attractive dress. If you prefer lingerie then lingerie it is.

            I personally hate mind games women like below poster play, and you should not do this to your husband.

            Be forwarded and let the fun begin.

            And second point, dont worry about imperfections. he will himself will not be perfect. Men generally don't worry about small stuff. Girl worry about it, they stand up in mirror and make it a mission to find how imperfect they are. Just be comfortable and enjoy yourself.

            Originally posted by congrats View Post
            I would feel better replying to this properly if it was in women only section, non the less Il still answer.

            Make an effort but keep it nice and sweet. Don't give away too much on the first night, there's plenty of time for that. Keep him wanting more. That way there will be nice surprises for him as you progress through your marriage. If you give away too much on the first night he may get bored of it later, keep him wanting more of you. Make sure you look nice and wear something nice and sexy under your wedding outfit but not too over the top. It's his first time with you so just being able to touch you would work lol. Instead of changing into night wear, may be you could allow him to undress you out of your wedding outfit revealing what lies beneath then take it from there.....lol

            About imperfections, don't worry about it so much no ones perfect. Take care of things in your control like personal hygiene and grooming. Wear nice perfume and he'll be drooling over you in no time and wont even notice little details. And even if he does, I'm sure he's not perfect either. Be confident in yourself, don't point things out like unflat tummy as its probably just in your head so don't put it into his head too.

            Congratulations. May Allah bless your union, ameen

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: lingerie on wedding night

              Originally posted by wonderingsis View Post
              My wedding day is coming up in 3 months inshallah and I'm nervous about being with my husband. I love him very much but I'm just nervous about things like if he'll notice imperfections like my tummy isn't nice and flat.I'm a good and healthy weight but i'm not absolutely fit and as attractive as I can possibly be in terms of physical fitness. Another problem is that I don't know if I should seem ready to consummate the marriage on the wedding night and wear lingerie in front of my husband.Will he think that i'm too daring and open and seem unshy and as a result will I become unattractive to him? I don't know how brothers think with regards to this. My husband knows that i tend to be shy and have never associated with men in any way that isn't an islamic manner 100% but if I wear lingerie will he think that I'm too forward and not shy on our wedding night? Should I just wear my regular PJ's and get into bed even though he might be looking forward to consummating the marriage? What if I wear the lingerie but he wants to give me space and not consummate the marriage, that would be embarrassing for me and I would feel that i've been to forward and that my husband has rejected me.All these thoughts are making me nervous.I don't know what to do.
              2nd post has good suggestion.

              Just take it at your own pace. Talk, touch, light pecks and the rest is automatic.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: lingerie on wedding night

                Oh please dont worry!

                I think wear something you are comfortable with. The first night can be fraught with soo much anxiety and exhaustion from the lead up and day of wedding.

                When i say comfortable, it doesnt have to be your usual joggers and baggy t shirts :P but maybe a jersey type material shorts/top or top and pj bottoms. (remember having another person in bed makes it warmer, so bear that in mind).

                you don't need to be splashing out on lingerie that you wont feel comfy in, but nice and simple if thats what you would prefer. And you two will work out pretty quickly what you like on each other.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: lingerie on wedding night

                  it's better if you leave sex till the night after, builds trust and stuff

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: lingerie on wedding night

                    it's better if you leave sex till the night after, that way you will calm down and trust will build between you two

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: lingerie on wedding night

                      wear your lingerie and put your pyjamas on top. Go to bed with your pyjamas on. If it seems he wants to have sex and you feel ready, everythings going well, then you can take them off (pyjamas), or better yet; he will! lol If it doesnt seem that way, he won't know you're wearing them, because your pyjamas will be on.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: lingerie on wedding night

                        brothers, i guess my quetion is (to be put in simpler terms) would this be a turn off or would you think less of your wife if she wore lingerie to bed on the first night even if it isn't provactive but is obviously lingerie ....this is really bothering me.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: lingerie on wedding night

                          Salaam aleykoum

                          If your husband wants to go the whole nine yards then fully comply as it is your duty as a muslim wife. I mean, you do not want to give him nothing but frustration to remember when he thinks about your wedding night, right ?

                          Do not even listen to the nonsense that was posted above by the sister advising you to "not give too much" and "make him wait". Let him set the pace. If he wants to take it slow then slow it is.

                          Now I'm going to reveal a secret to you all females : most men satisfied in bed and in the kitchen are at least 90 pr cent happy. This is how simple we are.

                          Now for the lingerie if you are not comfortable then do not do it. He will never complain that you were not wearing it on the wedding day anyway.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: lingerie on wedding night

                            Originally posted by wonderingsis View Post
                            brothers, i guess my quetion is (to be put in simpler terms) would this be a turn off or would you think less of your wife if she wore lingerie to bed on the first night even if it isn't provactive but is obviously lingerie ....this is really bothering me.
                            Don't do it, shyness is the most loved charecteristic in a woman, for me atleast. If I could help it, I would want my wife to be shy for me her entire life, unfortunatly it's not possible.:(
                            banans in pajamas are coming down the stairs
                            bananas in pajamas are coming down in pairs
                            bananas in pajamas are chasing teddy bears

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: lingerie on wedding night

                              ...
                              Last edited by Jenicca; 21-08-12, 10:43 AM.

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