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lingerie on wedding night

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  • Reflection09
    replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    Originally posted by wonderingsis View Post
    My wedding day is coming up in 3 months inshallah and I'm nervous about being with my husband. I love him very much but I'm just nervous about things like if he'll notice imperfections like my tummy isn't nice and flat.I'm a good and healthy weight but i'm not absolutely fit and as attractive as I can possibly be in terms of physical fitness.
    What's stopping you from working out so you can reach that goal that you have for yourself in terms of how fit you can/want to be? You have 3 months; that's a fair amount of time to obtain results

    Leave a comment:


  • Massilia
    replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    You know you can wear lingerie FOR YOU first. If you like it then no reason to be stressed

    Lingerie is first of all our own pleasure to wear it:inlove:

    Leave a comment:


  • Ebony
    replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    Everyone has these kind of hang ups, so dont worry about it just you being worried.

    Do whatever feels right, not what you think you should do because then the awkwardness is palpable.

    Leave a comment:


  • Jenicca
    replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    MOD NOTE:

    Moved to female section after my post, hence why brothers have posted before it!

    :jkk:

    Leave a comment:


  • Jenicca
    replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    Ukhti, welcome to the forum and Mabrook on your Nikah. May Allah swt unite you both upon khair.

    As for your concerns and apprehensions, the truth is, everyone has them. Whether they admit it or not.

    As practising Believers, the Muslim man and woman do not interact freely with one another. Its understandable to feel nervous, even about something as simple as not having hajib one in front of your husband on your first moments together.

    As for imperfections....again, everyone has them. No one is perfect and the imahges that the media portrays of what is attractive and what isnt, is nothing but filth.

    Insha'Allah, if your husband is righteous man, he will have saved himself and lowered his gaze, only for that which Allah swt has ordained halaal for him; his wife! And Insha'allah there will be contentment and pleasure in that. Its the female nature to be self consious in this way, because of the constant indirect messages we get from our environment, but I doubt very much it will be an issue!

    Modesty and shyness and both characteristics of the Believers.....there is nothing wrong with that. In fact it is upon the fitrah of the female to feel like this, so just go with the flow. If you feel shy, you feel shy. You wont feel shy forever!!

    Sister please try to understand, that your apprehensions now, are as a single sister on the brink of marriage. Once the nikah has been performed, insha'Allah Allah will instill mawaddah and rahmah between both of you, and because of this ni'mah so many of your concerns will become easier to handle. It is a beautiful and treasured and surely is a sign from Allah swt for thos who contemplate.

    Your initial moments are not only abour marital relations, but bonding with each other, emotionally, mentally and more so spiritually. Please try to read up on the ettiquette on the wedding night, ask him to lead you in nafl salaah, and make plentiful dua. Even now, make dua daily to Allah swt asking him to make things easier for you.....He knows your fears anyway :)

    About your feelings, attempt to express yourself open to your husband insha'Allah. If you are nervous, tell him. Communication is one of the essential elements of a successful marriage, in every aspect of marriage. Build a strong and firm foundation from day one!

    Men are visual creatures, and pleasing your husband, or atleast making the effort, comes part and parcel of being a dutiful and obedient Muslimah. In fact Im sure ive heard from Scholars, that with the right intention, it is akin to nafl ibaadah.

    Try to look pleasing for your husband and start off day one, as you aim to carry on. Come on sis, its in inhernt for girls to like dressing up!!

    It is part of the sunnah to adorn yourself for your spouse, and also smell good. So buy some nice perfume too!

    If you need any more help/advice please dont hesitate to PM me or one of the other female moderators or regular posting sisters.

    Enjoy the last few months of being a single Muslimah....your life will never be the same again ( in a good way of course !!! )

    Leave a comment:


  • .mirror.
    replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    Sister, you shouldn't worry that much. If something embarrassing does happen, few weeks later you both will most likely look back and joke about it. So, no big deal, really. :insha:

    Like I said above, best to ask him after nikah what he is expecting or tell him your expectations. Maybe, he wants to wait until you both are more conformable being with each other?

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    Salams Sister

    I don't think you should wear your pjs as its your first night with your husband.
    So you would want to wear something that looks good to him and to you.

    Jus keep it sexy yet simple, such as a midlength silky night dress.
    Last edited by Jenicca; 21-08-12, 10:42 AM. Reason: link not appropriate

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    ...
    Last edited by Jenicca; 21-08-12, 10:43 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • JJ79
    replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    Originally posted by wonderingsis View Post
    brothers, i guess my quetion is (to be put in simpler terms) would this be a turn off or would you think less of your wife if she wore lingerie to bed on the first night even if it isn't provactive but is obviously lingerie ....this is really bothering me.
    Don't do it, shyness is the most loved charecteristic in a woman, for me atleast. If I could help it, I would want my wife to be shy for me her entire life, unfortunatly it's not possible.:(

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    Salaam aleykoum

    If your husband wants to go the whole nine yards then fully comply as it is your duty as a muslim wife. I mean, you do not want to give him nothing but frustration to remember when he thinks about your wedding night, right ?

    Do not even listen to the nonsense that was posted above by the sister advising you to "not give too much" and "make him wait". Let him set the pace. If he wants to take it slow then slow it is.

    Now I'm going to reveal a secret to you all females : most men satisfied in bed and in the kitchen are at least 90 pr cent happy. This is how simple we are.

    Now for the lingerie if you are not comfortable then do not do it. He will never complain that you were not wearing it on the wedding day anyway.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    brothers, i guess my quetion is (to be put in simpler terms) would this be a turn off or would you think less of your wife if she wore lingerie to bed on the first night even if it isn't provactive but is obviously lingerie ....this is really bothering me.

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    wear your lingerie and put your pyjamas on top. Go to bed with your pyjamas on. If it seems he wants to have sex and you feel ready, everythings going well, then you can take them off (pyjamas), or better yet; he will! lol If it doesnt seem that way, he won't know you're wearing them, because your pyjamas will be on.

    Leave a comment:


  • PepperedPenguin
    replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    it's better if you leave sex till the night after, that way you will calm down and trust will build between you two

    Leave a comment:


  • PepperedPenguin
    replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    it's better if you leave sex till the night after, builds trust and stuff

    Leave a comment:


  • MissCurly
    replied
    Re: lingerie on wedding night

    Oh please dont worry!

    I think wear something you are comfortable with. The first night can be fraught with soo much anxiety and exhaustion from the lead up and day of wedding.

    When i say comfortable, it doesnt have to be your usual joggers and baggy t shirts :P but maybe a jersey type material shorts/top or top and pj bottoms. (remember having another person in bed makes it warmer, so bear that in mind).

    you don't need to be splashing out on lingerie that you wont feel comfy in, but nice and simple if thats what you would prefer. And you two will work out pretty quickly what you like on each other.

    Leave a comment:

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