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Disgusted in my past

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    Disgusted in my past

    Okay so I started jerking off at like 16, and back then I used to use YouTube videos to do it too and I used to watch people having seizures because I don’t know it just kinda turned me on when people were worried about their family member, so it was more about the others in the video that the seizing person them self, anyway some of these seizure videos had kids in them, and let me make it clear, I am not attracted to kids in ANY WAY and I have never ever looked at a child sexually ever, and back then I didn’t really see that this was wrong, but now I know that that is disgusting and since the relvellation I have never look at a video containing a child again, but now I feel sooo disgusted in my self and guilty that I don’t know what to do and whether this feeling will ever go away and I stay up at night worrying and crying that I am going to go to hell. I just feel so disgusted in myself

    #2
    Re: Disgusted in my past

    I don't see why you are getting so much anxiety over this. You clearly have no interest or attraction to them, so you don't need to worry at all.

    Now that we put that aside, I just want to state that your behavior was no doubt a bit odd. What turns you on about seizure videos.....?

    Just quit watching those videos completely, and also you need to stop the act of masturbation. This is a major sin and has potential side effects that could seriously affect your future. You'd better stop doing this brother.

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      #3
      Re: Disgusted in my past

      You might have a jinn with you brother. you should listen to some ruqya on www.ruqyainlondon.com

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        #4
        Re: Disgusted in my past

        Look for professional help like a therapist. There’s this site called nofap.com maybe this can help.

        It’s good that you are well aware of your actions and how bad they are in an islamic sense. I think you can keep track of what makes your mind act out a certain way. It would help a lot if you observe how you think and act when trigger starts coming in.

        how long has this been happening?
        Last edited by nudgetheputri; 19-11-17, 06:05 PM.

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