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    self-harm & cutting

    Self - Harm was something I was struggling with since middle school. It happened ever since I was 13 years old -- I had gone to Jordan with my brothers and my parents and when the school year started I got soooooo depressed, it was scary. I never felt that low before, I've suffered from anxiety since i was a little girl but it just got worse as i got older, i think it might be because i switched schools a couple times since middle school (my parents could not afford the school i went to before, also the academics at the new school were known to be better so we just switched)

    So, because of being shy i had hard time making friends. People found me easy target & made fun of me relentlessly and talked horribly of me behind my back. I was never invited to birthday parties, sleepovers, etc.... (im talking about all-girls stuff. nothing to do with the guys as i know that is haraam).

    Anyways i resorted to self Harm as a way of releasing the pain. it made me feel really good the first time and i got a rush of excitedness when i'd do it (adrenaline rush) and i'd feel happy.

    I got sooo addicted to it i did it when i was bored too, not only when i was depressed. it just felt so good. i sound crazy but i cant explain it. the only person that knows is my cousin in Jordan (me and her are very close and stay in touch, we call each other alllll the time), and my parents. some of my brothers dont know i do this , i feel ashamed. my parents got very angry and my mother slapped me when she found out i first did it.

    a year and a half ago, my mother and i went dress shopping together for my brother's wedding and she had to help me find a long gown with mid-sleeves and a cardigan we could put on top of it to hide all the scars. Even when the men and women seperated and the females took their hijabs off and put the music on i took my hijab off but had to keep the cardigan on to hide the scars.


    so, thats my story. im almost 16 & ive been doing it for years,,,,i cant stop. i tell myself ill stop but i just .... cant. it gives me a happy vibe when i do it.

    BTW - I'm not suicidal at all and im not doing this as a way to kill myself. i know suicide is a major, major sin and is determined eternal punishment in the akhirat.
    Questions:
    a) Will I go to Jahannam for engaging in self-destructive behaviors? I know its haraam but i really cant stop im addicted.

    b) This is kind of a non-related subject, but will I ever have a chance of marriage in the future? I have scars and cuts allllllll over my body from years of addiction and i feel like once a guy sees the marks and scars all over my body, he'll feel disgusted & repulsed and want to run far away from me.

    You can be as harsh as u want with me but i need islamic advice, im hooked and i cant get off. I stopped for over a week now and i was determined to NEVER go back again, but i feel like im gonna relapse cuz this cycle has happened manyyyyy times before :/

    #2
    Re: self-harm & cutting

    Turn to Allah swt

    Comment


      #3
      Re: self-harm & cutting

      It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say: “A person committed a sin and said: ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’ His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave.’ Then as much time passed as Allah willed, then he committed a sin and said, ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’ His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave.’ Then as much time passed as Allah willed, then he committed a sin and said, ‘My Lord, I have sinned; forgive me.’ His Lord said: ‘Is My slave acknowledging that he has a Lord Who forgives sins and punishes for them? I have forgiven My slave,’ – three times…” [al-Bukhari, Muslim].

      Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) included this hadeeth (narration) under the heading: “Acceptance of repentance from sins even if the sins and repentance happen repeatedly.”

      Although Allah hates sin and warns of punishment for it, He does not want His slaves to despair of His mercy. He likes the sinner to seek His forgiveness and repent to Him, but the shaytan (devil) likes it when despair fills a person’s heart and prevents him from repenting and turning to Allah

      A man also killed 99 people and he was still blessed to enter jannah as Allah forgave him

      وعنه رضي الله عنه قال‏:‏ قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏:‏ ‏"‏والذي نفسي بيده لو لم تذنبوا، لذهب الله تعالى بكم، ولجاء بقوم يذنبون فيستغفرون الله تعالى فيغفر لهم‏"
      ‏ ‏(‏‏(‏رواه مسلم‏)‏‏)‏‏.‏
      Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said:********************** The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "By the One in* Whose Hand my soul is! If you do not commit sins, Allah would replace* you with a people who would commit sins and seek forgiveness from Allah;* and Allah will certainly forgive them."

      [Muslim].



      Riyad as-Salihin
      *(The Book of Forgiveness)
      Sunnah.com reference : Book 20, Hadith 3
      Arabic/English book reference : Book 20, Hadith 1871



      Even if your sins reach the skies Allah can forgive them
      Allah is al ghaffar al ghaffoor
      Allah is ar raheem

      Have hope in Allah dont fall into the shaytaans trap dont ever lose hope or give up always turn back to Allah
      Make duaa and ask Allah for forgiveness
      You already know what your doing is wrong say alhamdullilah youve aknowledged you have a problem and your trying to deal with it.
      Now u have to beg Allah to forgive you and abandon the sin completely.
      Yes your human you may repeat the sin but always turn back to Allah and inshAllah you will be forgiven
      But do not take advantage of this and think i will sin more its fine i will be forgiven
      No your intentions have to be sincere it has to be i will try never to do this again and if you end up doing it again tunr back to Allah

      This is an act that could lead to jahnnam but any sin could lead to jahannam but the point is you are alive ask Allah to forgive you Allah loves those who make taubah
      If you repent and change your ways then inshAllah this will be a blessing in disguise

      I also recommend u go to a MUSLIM therapist for depression and openly talk about your issue with self harm they can help you inshAllah sometimes having someone to talk to helps alot


      In terms of marriage in all honesty some will deny you and but some wont care and they still will accept you but since this is something that scarred your body and can affect the way your spouse looks at you its your duty to inform a potential who u may marry about what has happened to your body
      I would ask a couple scholars to discuss whether this has to be physically shown to a person eg a potential spouse

      Although when speaking to someone for marriage dont say it straightaway get to know them and if you think there is a chance they are interested open up about this

      But before marriage deal with you issue get a muslim therapist and beg Allah to forgive u
      In conclusion turn to Allah

      Comment


        #4
        Re: self-harm & cutting

        Originally posted by muslimgirl13 View Post
        Self - Harm was something I was struggling with since middle school. It happened ever since I was 13 years old -- I had gone to Jordan with my brothers and my parents and when the school year started I got soooooo depressed, it was scary. I never felt that low before, I've suffered from anxiety since i was a little girl but it just got worse as i got older, i think it might be because i switched schools a couple times since middle school (my parents could not afford the school i went to before, also the academics at the new school were known to be better so we just switched)

        So, because of being shy i had hard time making friends. People found me easy target & made fun of me relentlessly and talked horribly of me behind my back. I was never invited to birthday parties, sleepovers, etc.... (im talking about all-girls stuff. nothing to do with the guys as i know that is haraam).

        Anyways i resorted to self Harm as a way of releasing the pain. it made me feel really good the first time and i got a rush of excitedness when i'd do it (adrenaline rush) and i'd feel happy.

        I got sooo addicted to it i did it when i was bored too, not only when i was depressed. it just felt so good. i sound crazy but i cant explain it. the only person that knows is my cousin in Jordan (me and her are very close and stay in touch, we call each other alllll the time), and my parents. some of my brothers dont know i do this , i feel ashamed. my parents got very angry and my mother slapped me when she found out i first did it.

        a year and a half ago, my mother and i went dress shopping together for my brother's wedding and she had to help me find a long gown with mid-sleeves and a cardigan we could put on top of it to hide all the scars. Even when the men and women seperated and the females took their hijabs off and put the music on i took my hijab off but had to keep the cardigan on to hide the scars.


        so, thats my story. im almost 16 & ive been doing it for years,,,,i cant stop. i tell myself ill stop but i just .... cant. it gives me a happy vibe when i do it.

        BTW - I'm not suicidal at all and im not doing this as a way to kill myself. i know suicide is a major, major sin and is determined eternal punishment in the akhirat.
        Questions:
        a) Will I go to Jahannam for engaging in self-destructive behaviors? I know its haraam but i really cant stop im addicted.

        b) This is kind of a non-related subject, but will I ever have a chance of marriage in the future? I have scars and cuts allllllll over my body from years of addiction and i feel like once a guy sees the marks and scars all over my body, he'll feel disgusted & repulsed and want to run far away from me.

        You can be as harsh as u want with me but i need islamic advice, im hooked and i cant get off. I stopped for over a week now and i was determined to NEVER go back again, but i feel like im gonna relapse cuz this cycle has happened manyyyyy times before :/
        Sis, with stopping any addiction or strong desire to perform any action. You need to replace this behaviour with something you want more. You have to find that or you won't let go of the negative self destructive behaviour.

        My oldest brother smoked for a long time and tried to give up many times and failed. His success was when his small son had an asthma attack and he realised that his smoking had been largely responsible. The thought of him harming his son was weightier than his desire to continue smoking.

        For self harm, you need to work out why you continue. Could be self hatred, or release of anger, release of pain, release of anxiety etc. And find a better way to release those feelings. I've come across some people who have found extreme exercise to help in this regard as it mimicks the stress and release cycle on the body.
        Last edited by Rifqah; 06-10-17, 02:32 AM.

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