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Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

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    #16
    Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

    Originally posted by Sister_2009 View Post
    The good thing about moving to US from UK is you speak English, so it shouldn’t be difficult get around or meet people. However, have you visited here before? If you haven’t, that might be a bit iffy, in that you might not like it. I wouldn’t personally move somewhere without visiting first. The other thing is you don’t know him well, and you won’t have your family close for difficult times, such as pregnancy and raising your children. Realistically, how often can he afford to visit family? That’s a big question. Living in different countries means you will not see your family, maybe once or twice a year. I would think really hard about this decision. He might turn out to be great, but can you be without your family? Maybe see what you can do about compromising on location, if it’s possible. If not, I can only say what I would do, and unless it’s to make hijra, I would have to decline.
    You'd be surprised how different the languages actually are. The cultures are also very different. As is the Islamic atmosphere.
    Ya Rab! When you give me wealth, do not take away my happiness. When you give me strength, do not take away my intelligence. When you give me victory, do not take away my humility. When you give me humility, do not take away my dignity.

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      #17
      Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

      Originally posted by -qed- View Post
      You'd be surprised how different the languages actually are. The cultures are also very different. As is the Islamic atmosphere.
      It's the same language (but they do get a few words wrong) just spoken REALLY LOUDLY.

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        #18
        Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

        Muslim move to America!!! over Trumps dead body!!!

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          #19
          Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

          Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
          It's the same language (but they do get a few words wrong) just spoken REALLY LOUDLY.
          They speak loudly, but they also speak differently as in use different words, different sentence structures, different pronunciations and word stresses.
          Ya Rab! When you give me wealth, do not take away my happiness. When you give me strength, do not take away my intelligence. When you give me victory, do not take away my humility. When you give me humility, do not take away my dignity.

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            #20
            Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

            salaams to all


            this is just a small part of what u end up getting yourself into when u decide to go look for a husband online, by yourself.
            as a born muslim, with muslim parents & family, this is something that best done when your parents are directly involved

            if u do things by yourself, behind closed doors- then u may end end up with big regrets

            i think u should call it off and get your parents involved in helping u find a husband.
            i just hope u are regular with your salaah- cos girls who are not deendaar, make much worse decisions bcos they dont have Allah ta'alas assistance.

            and Allah ta'ala knows best
            jazakallah
            Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
            very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

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              #21
              Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

              Originally posted by -qed- View Post
              You'd be surprised how different the languages actually are. The cultures are also very different. As is the Islamic atmosphere.
              English is definitely the predominant langauage, and a person who doesn’t speak English will have a difficult time. Yes, the cultures are different, that’s why I asked if she’s been here before and suggested visiting before moving.

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                #22
                Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

                Originally posted by -qed- View Post
                They speak loudly, but they also speak differently as in use different words, different sentence structures, different pronunciations and word stresses.
                I spent a couple of weeks in the US and never heard of a Brit in all that time apart from right near the end when I heard 3/4 guys talking in Fry's Store...they sounded disgusting!!! Maybe I sound like that too. :-(

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                  #23
                  Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

                  Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post
                  I spent a couple of weeks in the US and never heard of a Brit in all that time apart from right near the end when I heard 3/4 guys talking in Fry's Store...they sounded disgusting!!! Maybe I sound like that too. :-(
                  Well I've spent more than that in the US. The odd time I hear a brit it's a relief. Even americans think brits sound nicer. They were probably chavs btw
                  Ya Rab! When you give me wealth, do not take away my happiness. When you give me strength, do not take away my intelligence. When you give me victory, do not take away my humility. When you give me humility, do not take away my dignity.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

                    They can't even say water properly. That should be end of convo
                    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                    :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

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                      #25
                      Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

                      Originally posted by -qed- View Post
                      Well I've spent more than that in the US. The odd time I hear a brit it's a relief. Even americans think brits sound nicer. They were probably chavs btw
                      Not chavs.

                      Guess it depends where in the US you are. Those on the west coast found fine(ish).

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

                        Originally posted by IGetScared View Post
                        Salaam everyone.

                        I was in talks with a brother... American national, Arab background. I'm British, Pakistani background.
                        He is 7 years older and divorced... fine. He lives abroad in Saudi Arabia for work and has options to travel/live in America/Saudi for work too.

                        All my family are here and to up stakes and move to a land I know nothing of or no one about was giving me anxiety. I mean, what if he turned out to be someone I thought he wasn't? Where would I go? I think I'd have been more open if he was in London for a bit then deciding where to move came up. He wanted to move to America next year. I explained that I'm shy and introverted. In the end he did sound a bit aggressive when I said I can't see myself moving abroad.

                        Now, I am thinking did I make the right choice? Have I made a mistake? Loads of people move abroad for marriage. However in this case he is already abroad. I feel so crap! This marriage lark is hard.
                        THis is kind of the engagement period, which is about as good as it gets. If its not working out now, its not going to work later.

                        He doesnt' even live in america, he's in saudi. Do you have any character referecen for this guy? Does anyone you know vouch for him, do they know his lifestyle, how is he socially, how is he with guest?

                        Why does he want to marry someone who knows nothing about him?

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

                          Why not move to saudi
                          Why americs the land of kufr

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

                            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                            If in doubt, the answer is there.

                            I'd say don't do it especially when your family haven't met him.

                            Too risky.

                            Move on to the next one. Follow your gut instincts and if necessary pray isthikaara.
                            Thanks. My family would have met him. I'm not one to run away lol

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

                              Originally posted by .mirror. View Post
                              :wswrwb:

                              Why are you in talks with a brother overseas when you are having anxiety about moving there? Best to look in London since you're more open to it, as you said.
                              I'm 31. No one wants to marry a female above 26.

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Re: Did I make a mistake? Moving to America for marriage

                                Originally posted by msmoorad View Post
                                salaams to all


                                this is just a small part of what u end up getting yourself into when u decide to go look for a husband online, by yourself.
                                as a born muslim, with muslim parents & family, this is something that best done when your parents are directly involved

                                if u do things by yourself, behind closed doors- then u may end end up with big regrets

                                i think u should call it off and get your parents involved in helping u find a husband.
                                i just hope u are regular with your salaah- cos girls who are not deendaar, make much worse decisions bcos they dont have Allah ta'alas assistance.

                                and Allah ta'ala knows best
                                jazakallah
                                I told my mum about him. My family aren't looking. My fathers not around. I've been left to fend for myself when really when it comes to looking for a spouse.
                                Do what behind closed doors? I would never marry without my family there.
                                And yes, I am regular in my salah.

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