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  • What is happening to me and will i be punished.

    Some very troubling things have been happening to me in the past months.

    I keep getting very disturbing thoughts which I cannot control. It's like something is implanting it in my head. I would never think these thoughts. They are very horrible thoughts about Islam and Allah which I would rather not describe the contents of and it seems to get worse and almost unbearable late at night. I can't suppress these thoughts no matter what. Sometimes they are weak and sometimes extremely strong and persistent.

    Right After salat I get headaches and I feel rather irritable and especially sleepy. The thoughts also terrorize me in salat and this disturbs prayer greatly. I am reluctant to pray anymore at times because of these thoughts and feel like my prayer is nullified and Allah won't accept it. I don't mean these thoughts at all! They keep coming into my head.

    I find it very hard to concentrate and often procrastinate in school work. I'm failing nearly all my classes now in college and I don't know what to do. This is also because of the distress the thoughts are causing me.

    What is happening to me? I feel very scared and this is the darkest point in my life. Will I be punished for these thoughts. I truly don't mean them and never will. They are very irrational, but they won't leave me alone and it's really getting impacting everything in life negatively. How can I stop these thoughts and why do I feel so sluggish and bad after praying? Any help would be appreciated

  • #2
    Re: What is happening to me and will i be punished.

    Narrated Abu Hurayrah (ra):
    “Some of the companions of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said to him:
    ‘We find in ourselves thoughts that are too terrible to speak of.’
    He said, ‘Are you really suffering from that?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘That is a clear sign of faith.’” (Muslim).
    "My servants, you who have transgressed against yourselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Truly Allah forgives all wrong actions. He is the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Merciful." (Surat az-Zumar: 53)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: What is happening to me and will i be punished.

      To the OP - do not worry, you are not a strange person, you are suffering from a common psychological phenomenon called 'intrusive thoughts', where thoughts that seem to be come from outside yourself are implanted in your head. Sometimes they can be pictures/moving images that seem to come from no where and pop into your head/ They are often blasphemous and/or sexual in nature (e.g. relating sexual acts to religious figures etc) and many people suffer from them, and it gives them fear/anxiety.

      They are usually associated with OCD or anxiety/depression. How are other aspects of your mental health? Do you feel normal mood-wise throughout the day? Maybe it would be a good idea to speak a counsellor and take it from there.

      Good luck.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: What is happening to me and will i be punished.

        Originally posted by AkiraSaeki View Post
        Some very troubling things have been happening to me in the past months.

        I keep getting very disturbing thoughts which I cannot control. It's like something is implanting it in my head. I would never think these thoughts. They are very horrible thoughts about Islam and Allah which I would rather not describe the contents of and it seems to get worse and almost unbearable late at night. I can't suppress these thoughts no matter what. Sometimes they are weak and sometimes extremely strong and persistent.

        Right After salat I get headaches and I feel rather irritable and especially sleepy. The thoughts also terrorize me in salat and this disturbs prayer greatly. I am reluctant to pray anymore at times because of these thoughts and feel like my prayer is nullified and Allah won't accept it. I don't mean these thoughts at all! They keep coming into my head.

        I find it very hard to concentrate and often procrastinate in school work. I'm failing nearly all my classes now in college and I don't know what to do. This is also because of the distress the thoughts are causing me.

        What is happening to me? I feel very scared and this is the darkest point in my life. Will I be punished for these thoughts. I truly don't mean them and never will. They are very irrational, but they won't leave me alone and it's really getting impacting everything in life negatively. How can I stop these thoughts and why do I feel so sluggish and bad after praying? Any help would be appreciated
        Assalamu akaykum, dear Brother, waswasah is very common. But if things are disturbing you in salah to the extent you feel sudden drowsiness, I believe it is a strong indication that you may need ruqyah.

        The important thing is that you do not accept these thoughts as your own because they are not yours.
        The nature of waswasah of shayaateen is that it is abrupt and 'pops' into your head in this rather random way.

        When sinful/wrong thoughts enter our heads, as long we do no harbour them, entertain them, we are not blameworthy.

        Just realise that they are not your thoughts, but waswasah. 'Intrusive thoughts' OCD, they may have these names in psychology, but we know these to be waswasah.

        Don't stress yourself out, brother. Just keep to tasbeeh in your mind. It doesn't matter how depraved and blasphemous these thought are, you won't be sinning.

        Allah tells us in Quran that 'as-soo' (Evil/harm) 'fahshaa' (perversion of a sexual nature) and 'an taqoolo alallahi maa laa ta'lamoon' blasphemous ideas/words - things untrue of God - are three of shaytan's commands. You will notice that these 'sudden thoughts' ie. Wasawasah will involve these 3 thing, so it's easy to recognise who the author of these 'thoughts' is. It's NOT you.

        Many years ago now, I myself had some issues with this. Have ruqyah done, recite relevant adhkar, and stick to salah.

        Hope this helps, biidhnillah.
        LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAH
        -------------------------------
        "And if you would count the graces of God, never could you be able to count them. Truly, God is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (Qur'aan 16:18)
        NOTE: Please kindly do NOT rep my posts. (Jazaa'akumullah).

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: What is happening to me and will i be punished.

          Originally posted by AkiraSaeki View Post
          Some very troubling things have been happening to me in the past months.

          I keep getting very disturbing thoughts which I cannot control. It's like something is implanting it in my head. I would never think these thoughts. They are very horrible thoughts about Islam and Allah which I would rather not describe the contents of and it seems to get worse and almost unbearable late at night. I can't suppress these thoughts no matter what. Sometimes they are weak and sometimes extremely strong and persistent.

          Right After salat I get headaches and I feel rather irritable and especially sleepy. The thoughts also terrorize me in salat and this disturbs prayer greatly. I am reluctant to pray anymore at times because of these thoughts and feel like my prayer is nullified and Allah won't accept it. I don't mean these thoughts at all! They keep coming into my head.

          I find it very hard to concentrate and often procrastinate in school work. I'm failing nearly all my classes now in college and I don't know what to do. This is also because of the distress the thoughts are causing me.

          What is happening to me? I feel very scared and this is the darkest point in my life. Will I be punished for these thoughts. I truly don't mean them and never will. They are very irrational, but they won't leave me alone and it's really getting impacting everything in life negatively. How can I stop these thoughts and why do I feel so sluggish and bad after praying? Any help would be appreciated
          Wa Alaykumussalam
          I'm not sure if you've seen the replies to this thread yet, brother. This could be due to OCD or another disorder, so you should visit a doctor, just to rule this out. I know that people with conditions such as these are susceptible to such intense thoughts. Also, such thoughts are common for people In general. The symptoms that you have described, could indicate that ruqyah may be required, and other forces are at work. sister [MENTION=32850]Umm_Hanzalah[/MENTION] jazakhallahu khairan
          Remember to keep praying and making Du'aa to Allah S.W.T and insha ' allah you will not be held accountable for what is out of your control.
          May Allah ease all of your difficulties brother.

          Comment


          • #6
            Salam everyone, I’ve been wanting to ask a question here because I’ve been dealing with uncontrollable intrusive kufr thoughts which are not of my choice. Its depressing, and I’ve been crying a lot because I feel like the worst sinner. Kufr thoughts just pops in my head and I would always istighfar and seek refuge from Allah swt. I HATE these thoughts and it DISGUST me because I believe in only Allah swt and the Prophet (SAW). Its driving me crazy, I always feel like I’d rather die than have these thoughts. Pls help me, I need help from all of you.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by eesa the kiwi View Post
              Re: What is happening to me and will i be punished.

              Narrated Abu Hurayrah (ra):
              “Some of the companions of the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) came to the Prophet (pbuh) and said to him:
              ‘We find in ourselves thoughts that are too terrible to speak of.’
              He said, ‘Are you really suffering from that?’ They said, ‘Yes.’ He said, ‘That is a clear sign of faith.’” (Muslim).
              Bump
              "My servants, you who have transgressed against yourselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Truly Allah forgives all wrong actions. He is the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Merciful." (Surat az-Zumar: 53)

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by diandrh View Post
                Salam everyone, I’ve been wanting to ask a question here because I’ve been dealing with uncontrollable intrusive kufr thoughts which are not of my choice. Its depressing, and I’ve been crying a lot because I feel like the worst sinner. Kufr thoughts just pops in my head and I would always istighfar and seek refuge from Allah swt. I HATE these thoughts and it DISGUST me because I believe in only Allah swt and the Prophet (SAW). Its driving me crazy, I always feel like I’d rather die than have these thoughts. Pls help me, I need help from all of you.
                inshaAllah the above will help you
                "My servants, you who have transgressed against yourselves, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Truly Allah forgives all wrong actions. He is the Ever-Forgiving, the Most Merciful." (Surat az-Zumar: 53)

                Comment


                • #9
                  Wslm

                  Firstly, I want to say that you are not the only ones going through this.

                  Also yes this is from shaytaan but also many Muslims develope some form of OCD as we are careful about many aspects of life and we know that we cant cross certains boundaries.

                  Now due to this fear our mind will compel us to do it.

                  for example a person with OCD thats holding a babies hand crossing a road and sees a car coming their mind will compel them to push the baby into the road as they fear it being hit.

                  the simple answer is to let the thought run through and dont block it. As soon as you try to block or counter it shaytaan will place another one and another one and this will tire you out.

                  this will be hard at first as you will have to allow the worse filth to pass your mind but just go on as if nothing happened.

                  say you thing of Allah of lowest form and most disgusting forms than let it pass and than pray to Allah in the way your heart sees Allah.

                  Shaytaan will get tired and leave you.

                  these thoughts are most common in 3 aspects of deen i.e. Imaan; Cleanliness and talaaq (whether one said something that meant it or not )

                  but know you are not sinful if you dont say it out yourself.

                  and yes shaytaan sees something in you thats why you are being troubled and that is no doubt real Imaan.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thank you for clarifying it with me. I feel so much better upon reading your advice. However, I want it to go completely cause its driving me crazy. I don’t feel at ease, and its affecting my daily lifestyle. Even if I don’t say them verbally, I still feel disgusted cause how could I even have thought of that? Also, it affects my salah. Sometimes when I recite the shahada, I’ll get stupid kufr thoughts while reciting my shahada. Am I considered sinful yet?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Also, its hard for me to make duas because for every single time I try to converse with Allah swt, it always seems like I’ll have those thoughts making me believe that all the kufr thoughts came from me. My heart palpitates every single time that happens and I start to shiver unnecessarily. I could feel myself trembling, having hot flush cause I feel so sinful. I feel like I don’t deserve to be begging for Allah’s empathy and forgiveness for all these terrible thoughts. They aren’t just normal thoughts, but they’re quite extreme and I’m really really scared. At times when the thoughts hits, it seems like as if it came from me instead of the shaytaan, but at the same time I know I’ll NEVER have those thoughts in a million years. The guilt is starting to engulf me and I can’t sleep or get through the day peacefully. It haunts me on a daily basis and I’m starting to feel like I’m the biggest sinner.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        They’re too extreme that I’m too embarrassed to even talk about them. I’ll start to shiver and feel depress again. I’m sad because I want all of these to come to an end. I don’t wanna wake up knowing I’ll start having these uncontrollable thoughts again. I always pray to die when I’m asleep, cause that’s the only time I don’t have these thoughts.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I’m sorry to be spamming, but I merely wanted to express my worried and concerns. I did told my mom about it, but its pretty much on the surface because I didn’t want her to worry. I hope I have time to recover, as its quite recent. Alhamdulillah for this disorder, cause I know Allah will never test a person beyond what they can bear.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Asalaamu Alaikum all. For help with Waswasa (Insinuating whispers of shaythan) especially when it comes to worship then please refer to the following thread for many resources, help, and advice on this issue inshaAllah:

                            How to overcome Waswas (shaythans whispers) in worship


                            https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/is...ers-in-worship

                            10 steps to increase our imaan(faith)
                            http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=192926
                            Forty Good Deeds to do Everyday!
                            http://www.ummah.com/forum/showthread.php?t=230798

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by diandrh View Post
                              Also, its hard for me to make duas because for every single time I try to converse with Allah swt, it always seems like I’ll have those thoughts making me believe that all the kufr thoughts came from me. My heart palpitates every single time that happens and I start to shiver unnecessarily. I could feel myself trembling, having hot flush cause I feel so sinful. I feel like I don’t deserve to be begging for Allah’s empathy and forgiveness for all these terrible thoughts. They aren’t just normal thoughts, but they’re quite extreme and I’m really really scared. At times when the thoughts hits, it seems like as if it came from me instead of the shaytaan, but at the same time I know I’ll NEVER have those thoughts in a million years. The guilt is starting to engulf me and I can’t sleep or get through the day peacefully. It haunts me on a daily basis and I’m starting to feel like I’m the biggest sinner.
                              The exact same thing is happening to me too. It started last week while I was praying I suddenly got this really disturbing thought and I immediately felt so guilty that I had hot flashes.
                              Since that day that exact thought comes and goes during the day and whenever I think of it I feel extremely anxious and my heart rate goes up and I can’t function at that specific moment. I even lost my appetite due to that thought :(
                              And whenever I’m praying, reading Quran, doing azkaar or whenever someone talks to me about Allah and Islam I immediately get that thought and get extremely disturbed. It’s almost like I’m feeling that I shouldn’t do those tasks that make me get those thoughts but that’s exactly what shaytaan wants. To get into our minds and disturb it to the point we leave doing our Ibaadah to get rid of the waswaas.
                              I hope Allah gives us Shifa from these waswaas, help us be steadfast in our Ibadah and accept it and grant us a place in Jannat-ul-Firdous. Ameen.

                              Comment

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