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Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

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    #31
    Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

    As far as the privacy is concerned, I personally know a lot of people who are taking counseling online, and they've found interesting ways to do so via Skype on their tablets, or phones, or some other way. I think a good starting point for finding out the right Muslim therapist online is to email the psychologist at the Islamic Online University in Qatar (they have a proper counseling services section), they would be able to route you better along these lines, primarily because they themselves are well-embedded in the online method of counseling.

    As for the other question, its common sense, anything evil eventually finds Shaitan at the the end of the tunnel. But don't worry too much about that question. Regardless of where the problem lies, the therapy is a pretty straightforward thing, and that's what needs your focus.

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      #32
      Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

      Originally posted by Mr.President View Post
      As far as the privacy is concerned, I personally know a lot of people who are taking counseling online, and they've found interesting ways to do so via Skype on their tablets, or phones, or some other way. I think a good starting point for finding out the right Muslim therapist online is to email the psychologist at the Islamic Online University in Qatar (they have a proper counseling services section), they would be able to route you better along these lines, primarily because they themselves are well-embedded in the online method of counseling.
      Hmmm, But didn't you say that online counselling will not work considering the period of the trauma residing.
      Last edited by UsiGX; 16-12-14, 12:08 AM.

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        #33
        Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

        My friend, since you seem to have issues with in-house counselling as that would inadvertently let your family know about your issue, then we've got to go with what we have right? If you could muster up the courage to let your family know and take the real method of counselling on-board, I don't think we'd have any issues. See, our job is not to force you to do anything, it's really about working with what you give us to work with. Sort that problem out on your end and Insha'Allah you can get on the fast-track to therapy, instead of online. Do the math yourself: Is it better to keep going on like this....or is it better to swallow the bitter pill of confronting it and living a new life? Plus, you really don't have to let everyone in your family know, right? Perhaps your mother or father, and the rest of the them can be told something else to cover up, the Shariah allows for that type of stuff in such scenarios.

        Start doing a lot of contemplation.....thoughts are the first stair to courage. Insha'Allah.

        Comment


          #34
          Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

          Originally posted by Mr.President View Post
          My friend, since you seem to have issues with in-house counselling as that would inadvertently let your family know about your issue, then we've got to go with what we have right? If you could muster up the courage to let your family know and take the real method of counselling on-board, I don't think we'd have any issues. See, our job is not to force you to do anything, it's really about working with what you give us to work with. Sort that problem out on your end and Insha'Allah you can get on the fast-track to therapy, instead of online. Do the math yourself: Is it better to keep going on like this....or is it better to swallow the bitter pill of confronting it and living a new life? Plus, you really don't have to let everyone in your family know, right? Perhaps your mother or father, and the rest of the them can be told something else to cover up, the Shariah allows for that type of stuff in such scenarios.

          Start doing a lot of contemplation.....thoughts are the first stair to courage. Insha'Allah.
          I think the best approach would be to go for the real therapy instead of the online, since therapy over the web feels very limited, restricted and probably not as effective. I will also have a 4 months vacation within a few months and I'm favoring to give it a shot once and for all. But honestly speaking, I have no idea how to find the right therapist. I mean the therapist would need to have:-
          a) a LOT of practical experience when it comes to dealing with this kind of thing , not just some ordinary psychologist who only does advise counselling. My issue is not a "walk in the park" considering it's residing span period of time and especially it's top notch intensity / impactness.
          b) who actually believes one could be cured from it and not giving remedies for guilt / shame removal for the individual to moderately cope with the fetish and find acceptance in it. (called Positive psychology which is becoming the new trend here in West)
          c) who should also be religious, a Muslim maybe ?

          If its not too much to ask, perhaps you could help me find me one through source or research since you are practically experienced in this field. I live in Canada btw. I'll try my best in seeking out the appropriate therapist.
          Last edited by UsiGX; 16-12-14, 09:52 AM.

          Comment


            #35
            Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

            Originally posted by UsiGX View Post
            I think the best approach would be to go for the real therapy instead of the online, since therapy over the web feels very limited, restricted and probably not as effective. I will also have a 4 months vacation within a few months and I'm favoring to give it a shot once and for all. But honestly speaking, I have no idea how to find the right therapist. I mean the therapist would need to have:-
            a) a LOT of practical experience when it comes to dealing with this kind of thing , not just some ordinary psychologist who only does advise counselling. My issue is not a "walk in the park" considering it's residing span period of time and especially it's top notch intensity / impactness.
            b) who actually believes one could be cured from it and not giving remedies for guilt / shame removal for the individual to moderately cope with the fetish and find acceptance in it. (called Positive psychology which is becoming the new trend here in West)
            c) who should also be religious, a Muslim maybe ?

            If its not too much to ask, perhaps you could help me find me one through source or research since you are practically experienced in this field. I live in Canada btw. I'll try my best in seeking out the appropriate therapist.
            Originally posted by UsiGX View Post
            I think the best approach would be to go for the real therapy instead of the online, since therapy over the web feels very limited, restricted and probably not as effective. I will also have a 4 months vacation within a few months and I'm favoring to give it a shot once and for all. But honestly speaking, I have no idea how to find the right therapist. I mean the therapist would need to have:-
            a) a LOT of practical experience when it comes to dealing with this kind of thing , not just some ordinary psychologist who only does advise counselling. My issue is not a "walk in the park" considering it's residing span period of time and especially it's top notch intensity / impactness.
            b) who actually believes one could be cured from it and not giving remedies for guilt / shame removal for the individual to moderately cope with the fetish and find acceptance in it. (called Positive psychology which is becoming the new trend here in West)
            c) who should also be religious, a Muslim maybe ?

            If its not too much to ask, perhaps you could help me find me one through source or research since you are practically experienced in this field. I live in Canada btw. I'll try my best in seeking out the appropriate therapist.
            Now that you're ready for the real thing, it's alot easier to guide you :) I'm going to lay out some broader indicators of what a therapist, given your case, should have experience in, and then you can scan your region for those whose focus area revolves covers these areas:

            - Paraphilia/Fetish/Exhibitionism
            - Sexual Compulsivity & Trauma
            - Shame & Low Self-Esteem

            More importantly, you need to look for someone who can take it from the angle of beginning from childhood, and his professional profile includes the topic of how childhood traumas can be triggered in adult life. That's that, but let's now talk about the real important things. Look, therapy itself is not as straight forward as "give it a shot once and for all." It's alot more than that. You are re-arranging your thought processes that have been ingrained for a long long time. Consequently, you need to be prepared that initially it might be a bit challenging, but as soon as that initial phase is over, it's like a smooth ride. At the same time, depending on your mental strength, it could not be challenging at all. Be prepared, 4-5 months is simply like laying the foundation, the real therapy is more like 2-3 years. You have to stick around. Moreover, relapses can happen, and you or anyone else can be vulnerable to a relapse after beginning therapy. But if you are working with a professional, then it's alot easier to avoid them, but yes, they are a reality. Don't ever lose hope, it's pretty foolish to do so. It's pretty to get through it all, and the ups and downs are part of everything in life. Just be mature enough to realize that.

            You will have to do your homework and be patient about finding the right thera'pist. If you can find a Muslim, well and good, but it's not imperative. A lot of this therapy is general stuff that has more to do with psychology than your spirit. Given what you've told so far, the best approach for you will be Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Find a sex addiction therapist with a CBT approach.

            What I would advise is to start looking therapists up on the internet, around your area, and visit their websites, the "Services" or "About Us" sections and read up on their specializations or focus areas and narrow down the ones that suit your outlook. You really will have to take your parents on board in this thing.

            But there's one thing I can bet my life on.....that if you go according to the plan, what you will see, the new you, after the initial 5-6 months, will be nothing short of a miracle. Insha'Allah. I pray that Allah gives you the strength to move on and take this step towards a brand new future. Ameen.

            Comment


              #36
              Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

              Originally posted by Mr.President View Post
              Now that you're ready for the real thing, it's alot easier to guide you :) I'm going to lay out some broader indicators of what a therapist, given your case, should have experience in, and then you can scan your region for those whose focus area revolves covers these areas:

              - Paraphilia/Fetish/Exhibitionism
              - Sexual Compulsivity & Trauma
              - Shame & Low Self-Esteem

              More importantly, you need to look for someone who can take it from the angle of beginning from childhood, and his professional profile includes the topic of how childhood traumas can be triggered in adult life. That's that, but let's now talk about the real important things. Look, therapy itself is not as straight forward as "give it a shot once and for all." It's alot more than that. You are re-arranging your thought processes that have been ingrained for a long long time. Consequently, you need to be prepared that initially it might be a bit challenging, but as soon as that initial phase is over, it's like a smooth ride. At the same time, depending on your mental strength, it could not be challenging at all. Be prepared, 4-5 months is simply like laying the foundation, the real therapy is more like 2-3 years. You have to stick around. Moreover, relapses can happen, and you or anyone else can be vulnerable to a relapse after beginning therapy. But if you are working with a professional, then it's alot easier to avoid them, but yes, they are a reality. Don't ever lose hope, it's pretty foolish to do so. It's pretty to get through it all, and the ups and downs are part of everything in life. Just be mature enough to realize that.

              You will have to do your homework and be patient about finding the right thera'pist. If you can find a Muslim, well and good, but it's not imperative. A lot of this therapy is general stuff that has more to do with psychology than your spirit. Given what you've told so far, the best approach for you will be Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Find a sex addiction therapist with a CBT approach.

              What I would advise is to start looking therapists up on the internet, around your area, and visit their websites, the "Services" or "About Us" sections and read up on their specializations or focus areas and narrow down the ones that suit your outlook. You really will have to take your parents on board in this thing.

              But there's one thing I can bet my life on.....that if you go according to the plan, what you will see, the new you, after the initial 5-6 months, will be nothing short of a miracle. Insha'Allah. I pray that Allah gives you the strength to move on and take this step towards a brand new future. Ameen.
              Such motivation from you Sir! I had some time back come across websites which offered "primal Pain release" but they were mostly situated in USA. A combination of CBT and Primal Pain Release seems a superior combination. To be honest, I did a few research on finding therapists a couple months ago but disregarded it after seeing many websites stating that they are too deep ingrained and can't be eradicated and moreover knowing that it would ultimately also cost my privacy.

              Not to mention, during my struggle from past months, to potentially avoid relapses, I had created a text file saved directly on my computer in which I had written many sorts of inspiring and emotional quotes to act as counter triggers. They have proved to be extremely effective. For eg, when we feel guilty, we feel extremely sad and sometimes even break into tears. This could be put up as "Realize the value of your griefs and sorrow" which immediately cleanses and acts as a powerful barrier which overcomes and potentially avoids relapse.

              About the giving up thing, yes its horrible. About 1.5 yrs ago, I had given up after perpetual failures and depression BUT a few time later I suddenly felt something, a sharp guilt deep inside when I adventured back into my timeline of early childhood; i.e the innocence / the real bliss and enjoyment of life/ the good old times, which made me burst into tears after a time I couldn't remember. That day changed my life, it was as if God wanted to communicate with me, wanted to make me aware of something deep similar to like someone who had been brainwashed and a miracle gives him a glimpse of his true identity, a wake up call. From that day, "giving up" was no more an option and struggle got inevitable. That was when I started doing exensive research, encoding and updating text files onto my computer, started brainstorming by accessing the unconscious and subconscious part of my mind , started to deal with the self, the psyche as much possible. Each defeat got me right back on my feet stronger and more learned than before And here I'm now feeling 300% better. So giving up, is certainly not in my book.

              So, I guess CBT+PPR would be he best options . O don't want to leave PPR option out.
              I would like you to take a look at this : http://primalrelease.com/how-pr-works

              Take Care
              Last edited by UsiGX; 19-12-14, 06:36 AM.

              Comment


                #37
                Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

                Wa'Salam,

                I don't have any forays into "primal release" and won't be able to give a professional opinion as such. Alternatively, you can do Istikhara for what works best, in addition to CBT, or if CBT alone works best for you. You'll also have to gauge the proximity, the options available in the area near to you.

                JazakAllah Khair

                Comment


                  #38
                  Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

                  salam alaykum Brother,

                  thank you for the detailed advice on what addiction is. my problem is a bit different than a regular addict, and I would like your guidance on that. In terms of my habit, i go through these phases of ups and downs. some days im completely in control and other days im not. but the worse days are like university exams. whenever i get pressure through exams or other events that are coming up either in university or other places where i volunteer and stuff, that's when i find myself giving in more and more. could you advise on how to break these ups and downs please?

                  thanks in advance, and may Allah bless you for your time given.

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

                    See you mr president. You are a great contribution :)
                    Last edited by UsiGX; 03-04-15, 11:45 PM.

                    Comment


                      #40
                      Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

                      I quit to be a QUITTER!

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

                        “O Children of Adam! Wear your beautiful apparel at every time and place of prayer: Eat and drink: But waste not by excess, for Allah loveth not the wasters.” [Al-Quran 7:31]
                        Me quitting!Kapish!!!
                        :lailah:

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

                          https://join.skype.com/cfFk0kYiQ881

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                            #43
                            Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

                            http://ow.ly/NE9J300FqMc

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

                              Salaam brothers and sisters

                              Have you ever contemplated the reason behind these perverted thoughts and actions could be the result of Jinn Aaseq?
                              I'm not saying everyone doing this is posessed, but it wouldn't hurt listening to ruqya or having ruqya performed or even better performing self ruqya.
                              Try searching youtube for a ruqya audio with keywords "ZINA"' or "FAHSHAA"

                              Wa salaam
                              And the thunder exalts [ Allah ] with praise of Him - and the angels [as well] from fear of Him - and He sends thunderbolts and strikes therewith whom He wills while they dispute about Allah ; and He is severe in assault

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                                #45
                                Re: Perverted Addictions: Why Can't I Just Quit!

                                There is no addiction in this world which is bigger than the will power and faith of a man, if you are strong enough and firmly believe in yourself and your creator, you can do anything.
                                "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

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