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    My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

    Salaam


    Today my husband and i were talking about my brother then our conversation linked
    with him. Then my husband then asked my if my brother ever laid his hand on me.
    I said yes only when we were young but now my brother stopped.

    My husband laughed and said good. He then just randomly slapped me.
    I was startled by it but i thought he must've jokingly slapped me.
    Then he slapped me twice. I felt hurt. I was holding back my tears and asked him nicely
    not to slap me as i didn't like it. He replied that a good wife remain silent and not talk back to husband,
    I said- how can good wife remain silent if husband slap her. He ignored my request and
    he then slapped me little harder for the final time and laughed.

    My cheek hurts, it was pink and I couldn't hold my tears anymore. I was in flood of tears.
    I was so angry how could he? I tried to leave the room but he grabbed my leg and wouldn't let me
    go. I demanded that i need some time and space to calm down. He insisted that that i must stay.
    He wouldn't let me go. I continued to ignore him and sobbes. Eventually he let me go.

    I then went to another room and cry silently. Having some time to think. I was expecting
    my husband to come to me and apologised or something. After some time i calm down.
    I thought i'd go to him and see if he'd make first move and apologise. He didn't. So i asked him
    if he wanted some foods. He ignored me and got food for himself. He then grabbed his coat and
    left the house once he finished his lunch. He didn't bother to say sorry or anything. No text to say sorry.
    No nothing. He is expecting me to grovelling over him.

    WHAT SHALL I DO?

    #2
    Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

    ASTUGHFIRULLAH! ITS HARAM FOR HIM TO SLAP YOU ON YOUR FACE! the prophet s.a.w made this clear! and he cannot hit you without a valid reason! you have to be deviant for him to hit you AFTER warning you to stop from it.
    i think they shytan overcame him, show him the hadith about not hitting the wife on the face and NOT hitting her altogether if she hasnt done anything bad, and tell him truely how you felt DO NOT hide it from his because men won't get it until you tell them!

    Comment


      #3
      Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

      Aleykom salam
      Why in the world did you ask if he wanted some food? YOU ARE NOT A SLAVE PLEASE!!!!!
      First of all, YOU're NO ONE's cook,; and this isnt your job to cook for him, second of all after he slapped you why do you ask him if he's hungry! he could die of hunger if I were you
      Sorry but these kind of things really upset me like nothing else
      What you should do is talk to him, and tell him in Islam the man HAS NO RIGHT TO BEAT HIS WIFE!! IS THIS A JOKE?? --> " a good wife remain silent if her husband slaps her".?? IF this was true I can assure you no woman would ever get married!
      Tell him where in the world does he get his Islam from? This is not Islam, this is machism, sexism, cultural garbage
      The man thinks having more rights than women mean they can abuse women, why do some people misunderstand Islam seriously. More rights mean more responsabilities, doesnt mean oppressing others!
      Talk to him asap, don't be angry when you talk to him but please don't act like you're a good slave and be quiet when the "MAN" slaps you
      wow seriously can't believe people like that exist still, i thought with education things would change but nothing staghfiroullah
      does he even pray? what's his deen like? How long have you been married to him? Is this the first time?
      May Allah give you sabr sister

      Comment


        #4
        Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

        :wswrwb:

        This is just disgusting. Subhan'Allah. I really hope Allah takes him into account for treating you like that, unless he repents.

        I still don't understand why he did that? How is he overall with you? Is he abusive at all? Does he treat you with respect? I find this behavior very strange. SubhanAlah. Some men...May Allah guide us all.
        Secure few moments, everyday, to reflect upon the innumerable blessings of Allah and thank Him for bestowing them upon you.

        "A person who is blessed with the ability to be grateful, shall never be deprived of barakah and increase in blessings."
        - Rasulullah (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم)‎

        Comment


          #5
          Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

          Originally posted by HiddenPearl View Post
          Salaam


          Today my husband and i were talking about my brother then our conversation linked
          with him. Then my husband then asked my if my brother ever laid his hand on me.
          I said yes only when we were young but now my brother stopped.

          My husband laughed and said good. He then just randomly slapped me.
          I was startled by it but i thought he must've jokingly slapped me.
          Then he slapped me twice. I felt hurt. I was holding back my tears and asked him nicely
          not to slap me as i didn't like it. He replied that a good wife remain silent and not talk back to husband,
          I said- how can good wife remain silent if husband slap her. He ignored my request and
          he then slapped me little harder for the final time and laughed.

          My cheek hurts, it was pink and I couldn't hold my tears anymore. I was in flood of tears.
          I was so angry how could he? I tried to leave the room but he grabbed my leg and wouldn't let me
          go. I demanded that i need some time and space to calm down. He insisted that that i must stay.
          He wouldn't let me go. I continued to ignore him and sobbes. Eventually he let me go.

          I then went to another room and cry silently. Having some time to think. I was expecting
          my husband to come to me and apologised or something. After some time i calm down.
          I thought i'd go to him and see if he'd make first move and apologise. He didn't. So i asked him
          if he wanted some foods. He ignored me and got food for himself. He then grabbed his coat and
          left the house once he finished his lunch. He didn't bother to say sorry or anything. No text to say sorry.
          No nothing. He is expecting me to grovelling over him.

          WHAT SHALL I DO?

          asalaamu alaykum waRahmatullahi waBarakaatuh


          Just act normal yet, don't do anything which will make things worse, or make you feel like you have no respect.

          So now, try to act normal yet.. because you still havn't figured out why he did it, or how he was feeling at that time. And because you are married, it's important to try to neutralise anything bad that might have happened.


          So act normal until you can figure out what was in his mind when he did that. Then when you have a private time to talk to each other properly about your emotions, you can try to kindly ask him why he did that, and how you didn't like it because it hurt you (physically and emotionally.) Tell him that you usually respect him and when he did that, he made you lose his respect for a few moments.. "so please don't do that again". You should say that.


          Then carry on living life normally and being respectful to him, and he will show you care and love inshaa' Allah. Ask Allah to make everything good and well in your marriage.


          To people who think you should react harshly back, that's not good. Especially if something like this has only happened once. If problems persist and become a permanent thing in marriage - that's when people turn to other options.


          I ask Allah to help you and your marriage, ameen.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

            He slapped you and then laughed? These are the manners of freaks. In any case, dont let that happen ever again.
            Stay aware even if he sings the national anthem "i'll change, i wont do it anymore". If it happens again you know what to do. Some people have become paralysed with a simple slap, so be careful.
            My Blog http://historyeyesopened.tumblr.com/ Watch out sister Nousername
            Ummah forum mentality depiction by BBC (warning) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w

            Comment


              #7
              Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

              W Salaam,

              Astagfurillah, i really dislike people like this subhanAllah. You seem like an awesome wife by you're reaction and then asking him for food? SubhanAllah, may Allah (swt) reward you loads.

              But, dont take this crap from you're husband, i cant believe someone could do this, this is not from Islam, in Islam women are treated the best, a man would treat his wife like a queen, this is Islam. So take this matter to you're father or an imam or someone whom you can trust.

              Im really sorry for what you're going through, i just wished some men would appreciate the blessings they have been given.

              May Allah subhanu wa ta'ala resolve this for you (Ameen)
              Allahumma Insur Al-Islam Wal-Muslimeen

              Ahasiban naasu ay yutrakoo ay yaqooloo aamannaa wa hum laa yuftanoon. (Do men imagine that they will be left (at ease) because they say, We believe, and will not be tested with affliction? Surah 29 (2)

              Comment


                #8
                Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

                1. sounds made up
                2. If it's true and he just randomly slapped his wife and he's not in a bad mood or there wasn't an arguement then he sounds like he needs some form of help. has he got a mental illness?
                Rajab is a month of cultivation, Shaban is month of irrigating the fields, and the month of Ramadhan is a month of reaping and harvesting.”

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

                  Originally posted by muslimah_rose View Post
                  he cannot hit you without a valid reason! !
                  there are no valid reasons

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

                    How long have you been married.

                    My advice would be.don't ignore it. If he thinks he can get assay with it he may gradually increase violence. Let him know from now that it is not a husband's job to belittle and humiliate or harm his wife and you will not be in a relationship where that is happening. That hr had no cause to be upset with you and did not first talk to you or seperate from your bed. Don't be ashamed of this or scared to get family involved as mediators. You have done nothing wrong.

                    Recipes for all the family :inlove:
                    (and you thought I was a lazy feminazi which can't cook?)

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

                      This is disgraceful behaviour!

                      Women need to know their rights.
                      If he can slap you in the face 3 times for doing nothing , think what he can do if he gets angry.

                      As far as Islam goes, women are not meant to suffer in silence and take this kind of abuse.

                      I would get a scholar involved and get them to explain to him that what he is doing is haraam.
                      If he doesn't want to listen to them then there is plenty of help out there for victims of domestic violence.

                      If someone did this to my sister , I would slap him back for Qisas, he doesn't have this right over you!
                      Hadith, Fiqh and Tafsir Scholarship
                      http://www.al-salam.co.uk/[B][COLOR="#006400"]

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

                        Get a scholar involved.

                        If he doesn't repent and change his ways you should know he is not a suitable life partner nor role models for your children.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

                          tell your father / uncle / brother or someone who can have strong words with him.

                          don't wait for the next time it happens... you need to do something now
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                            #14
                            Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

                            He sounds like a minor bully whos trying to intimidate you. For now just ignore him and dont take it to heart, any reaction will make him think he was justified in being so nasty. Observe your relationship with him normally and see if this incident correlates with that. If not inshaAllah you should be ok. Im guessing your still newly married. Allah help and guide you. Its better not to expect anything from him until he actually realises he has done wrong. some men do seem to be moody at times and they can be very immature aswel. Maybe he feels insecure or wants to express authority. Your best bet is to maintain patience for now and really make him feel stupid by completely ignoring him when he acts this way.
                            Allah bless you and make your marriage a very happy and prosperous one

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: My Husband Slapped Me. What Shall I Do?

                              Originally posted by @nda View Post
                              asalaamu alaykum waRahmatullahi waBarakaatuh


                              Just act normal yet, don't do anything which will make things worse, or make you feel like you have no respect.

                              So now, try to act normal yet.. because you still havn't figured out why he did it, or how he was feeling at that time. And because you are married, it's important to try to neutralise anything bad that might have happened.


                              So act normal until you can figure out what was in his mind when he did that. Then when you have a private time to talk to each other properly about your emotions, you can try to kindly ask him why he did that, and how you didn't like it because it hurt you (physically and emotionally.) Tell him that you usually respect him and when he did that, he made you lose his respect for a few moments.. "so please don't do that again". You should say that.


                              Then carry on living life normally and being respectful to him, and he will show you care and love inshaa' Allah. Ask Allah to make everything good and well in your marriage.


                              To people who think you should react harshly back, that's not good. Especially if something like this has only happened once. If problems persist and become a permanent thing in marriage - that's when people turn to other options.


                              I ask Allah to help you and your marriage, ameen.
                              You can't advise someone who has faced abuse to act normal. This will make the abuser more violent as he will think the abused is 'okay' with it and that there are no limits.

                              I guess the reason he slapped twice, nor apologizing, holding her leg, suggests he is a wife beater. No sane husband slaps like this and then laughs. That guy is a manless coward. He's still yet to face puberty. Yeah, harsh, but that's what he is by these actions.

                              There is no excuse because after he slapped her twice, he laughed, didn't apologize, nor did he come to her to stop her tears as a caring husband.
                              There is no excuse nor such advise as 'just act normal'. Action is needed to stop this.

                              Yes, replying the act with violence will not be correct but she needs to ASAP communicate with him whilst being in the presence of a scholar or someone from her brothers or father is strong enough that the husband won't even dare to hit her for asking such a question, as 'Why'd you slap me?'

                              These husbands need to be publicized in the community and faced charges if they don't repent and change their ways.

                              No honor of a woman should be harmed.

                              Comment

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