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How we can get through hardships and trials in our lives

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  • #46
    seek help in patience and prayer



    • #47
      "When a man sees the road as long he weakens in his walk." Ibn Qayyim


      • #48
        10 steps to increase our imaan(faith)
        Forty Good Deeds to do Everyday!


        • #49
          Beautiful reminder jazakallah khuran.


          • #50
            Now I am going through a difficult test for myself, during this time I realized how weak I am in patience and faith, how proud I was of my faith. How insignificant is my faith ... Glory to Allah that he helped me understand this.


            • #51
              Do tests in life get easier? No and yes. Let me explain.

              Why no (tests don’t get easier). Tests don’t get easier, otherwise they would not be considered a test. Tests need to challenge us so that we can grow from them. The school system which is full of tests is a powerful analogy in this area. For a year 1 student, a year 1 test is difficult. For a year 10 student, a year 1 test is like a game. Similarly as we grow and develop, the tests get more difficult, otherwise they will stop feeling like tests.

              On this point, our Prophet was asked “who gets tested the most severely?” He responded by saying “They are the prophets, then the next best, then the next best.” (Tirmidhi) Depending on your spiritual level, the tests will get harder and harder, or they will become more nuanced, just like a year 10 test is much more nuanced, complex and requires higher skills than a year 1 test.

              Why yes. Tests get easier if we develop the correct mindset through our faith and if we develop the correct skills set through our life experiences.

              Mindset is critical. Know that you will be tested. Allah says in the Qur’an “And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.” (Qur’an, 2:155) When you accept that your life will be filled with tests, it already gives you an upper hand. Imagine a student who walks into a classroom knowing they will have a quiz that day, compared to a student who had no idea. The mindset will be very different. Imagine if the latter student was expecting to walk into a class party but instead is faced with a quiz. They would be utterly shocked. Similarly, if we think this life is going to be just about pleasing our ego, we will be utterly shocked when the party ends and a test arises.

              Skills set is the other critical point. While a year 10 test is much more difficult than a year 1 test, it would be hoped that schooling would have developed the knowledge and skills needed for a year 10 student to do a year 10 test. Isn’t life a school where we learn so much and develop so many skills? By the time we are faced with the more difficult tests, we will be better prepared for them. We should also keeping mind that “Allah does not burden a soul (with a test) greater than it can bear.” (Qur’an, 2:286). Therefore, he will not test us with a year 10 test when we are in year 1.

              The take home message is:
              1. Remember that we will be tested in this life and we will grow from them. Our faith reminds us of this important detail about life.
              2. The past tests help us to grow so that when we face new challenges, we have developed the skills and mechanisms needed to deal with them.
              3. BUT, a test is a test. That is, in any case, it will challenge us in some way otherwise it will not be a test. It needs to challenge us to ensure we grow from it.

              May Allah enable us all to past the tests we are faced with. Ameen.

              (The above does not explain all aspects of life events, but one that many of us could apply in our personal lives)
              10 steps to increase our imaan(faith)
              Forty Good Deeds to do Everyday!


              • #52


                • #53
                  Originally posted by hamza81 View Post
                  Re: How we can get through hardships and trials in our lives

                  Asalaamu Alaikum, my dear sister it is Allah who lead you to these posts so that your heart may find comfort. I also like you to find comfort in the following words:

                  No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself, for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah's decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere it will never come your way but if it is yours by destiny from you it cannot flee. (Umar Ibn al-Khattab Radiyallahu Anhu)

                  Finally: " Do not detest the misfortunes that befall you, for what you detest may be the cause of your salvation and what you like may be the cause of your ruin." Al-Hasan Al-Basree

                  If you would like any help or advice on anything at all then please do not hesitate to ask.

                  May Allah give you the best of this world and the hereafter. Ameen
                  I need some advice


                  • #54
                    5 Reasons Why We Are Tested

                    Life is filled with ups and downs, and there are times where our trials seem unending. In the Qur’an, there are several verses in which Allah talks about the varying ways we will be tested, but He also provides a care package to help us navigate those trying moments.

                    Why are we tested?

                    This is a very common question from Muslims, people of other faiths, or no faith—so it’s important to reflect on it. Lack of answers can sometimes distance people from their faith—if a person doesn’t understand why trials happen they can start to feel life is unfair or even that God is being unfair. But Allah is Al-Adl, The Just, and He is Ar-Rahman, The Most Merciful; He never wants ill for His servants, He only wants the best for us. There is a lot of evidence in the Qur’an and hadith that helps us answer this question of why we are tested.

                    1) We were created to worship Allah

                    We were created to worship Allah, and we all made a promise to do so before we were sent to earth. Tests are a means for us to fulfill this promise. In fact, they are a “sunnah” of Allah – i.e. tests are the means by which Allah distinguishes between us, because they help to expose faith and lack of faith. Allah states in the Qur’an:

                    ‘Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tried? But We have certainly tried those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident those who are false.’ [Qur’an 29: 2-3]

                    2) Allah tests us to purify us and wash away our sins.

                    The Prophet said :“No calamity befalls a Muslim but that Allah expiates some of his sins because of it, even if it were the prick of a thorn.” [Bukhari, Muslim].

                    So instead of seeing tests as a punishment from Allah, this shows that in fact, Allah wants to save us from punishment – i.e. the punishment of the Hereafter which is much worse than any test faced in this Dunya.

                    3) A test can sometimes replace a worse misfortune

                    A test can be a form of protection from something that might have befallen us. Or being deprived of something might, in fact, be saving us from something that is not good for us, even though we don’t have the knowledge to realise it at the time. Allah tells us: “Perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” [Qur’an 4: 19]. Therefore the test which might seem so awful to you at the time is, in fact, a blessing.

                    4) Tests are given to us to strengthen our iman (faith).

                    The Prophet said: "The people who face the most difficult tests are the prophets, then the righteous, then those following them in degree. A person is tried according to his religion. So if there is firmness in his religion, then the trial is increased, and if there is a weakness, then it is lightened. Verily a trial remains with a servant until he walks the earth having no sin left upon him.” [Bukhari].

                    Allah wants to refine us, out of His love and mercy, so that we can attain not just Paradise but the highest rank of the Prophets and the righteous. Tests expose our faults and weaknesses to ourselves—and that awareness enables us to be more focused and proactive in rectifying those aspects of our character.

                    5) Allah tests a person He loves.

                    The Prophet said: “Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects them to adversity.” [Bukhari]. Why? Because if the servant reacts with Sabr and contentment with Allah’s decree, it brings them closer to Allah. And “Allah loves the Patient.” [Qur’an 3: 146]

                    10 ways to deal with tests:

                    Ibn Al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) stated that when we are tested, we are faced with 2 options:
                    • to be patient
                    • to not be patient!

                    So when we lack patience and get frustrated / bitter/ panicky, or lose hope/ blame Allah, this is actually a choice we make, and not a very good one. But those who choose option (1), as difficult as it is, benefit from their tests in this life and also gain in the next life, i.e. Jannah.

                    So how can we choose to have more patience and contentment when tested? Thanks to the sisters who gave the following suggestions:
                    1. Read or listen to the Qur’an (because dhikr gives contentment – see Qur’an 13: 28).
                    2. Make du’a for Allah’s help, strength, and relief from the test – just as Ya’qub (AS), Maryam (AS) and the Prophet all did.
                    3. Gratitude puts our tests in perspective and stops us from complaining; it is the greatest route towards Sabr.
                    4. Remember what others are going through – remember the Ummah, and people around you in your own communities; remind yourselves of the tests the Prophets went through – they provide us with good examples of perseverance. Bear in mind every single person is being tested in different ways.
                    5. Remember nothing in this life lasts forever, so the test will have an end inshaAllah: “verily with every hardship comes ease” [Qur’an 94:5-6].
                    6. Allah does not burden any soul beyond what it can bear [Qur’an 2:286]; Allah has confidence in us, so we too need to have confidence in our ability to get through the test.
                    7. Muhaasabah – use tests as an opportunity for self-assessment; are there things you can do better next time? Are there habits or characteristics you need to change?
                    8. Deal with your test one step at a time – i.e. if you have a task to complete, give yourself small goals. Or if you are facing a long-term test, try to have patience for that day, and start afresh with your goal of sabr the next day etc.
                    9. Have trust in Allah (tawakkul), whatever the test is – because Allah is the best of Planners and teaches us the best lessons.
                    10. Strengthen your salah: “Seek help in patience and prayer” [Qur’an 2: 153]

                    Finally, What if you are not being tested?

                    The following question was asked, and it comes up quite a lot: “What if someone doesn’t seem to be going through any major trials, and in fact, they are being blessed with abundance. Does Allah love such a person less than someone He subjects to obvious harsh trials?” Tests can take many forms, they can be great or small, a one-off trial or something we face consistently. They can come in the form of hardships… or, they can come in the form of blessings.

                    In fact, these can be a greater pitfall than hardships because they are harder to identify as tests. Why is this the case? Because when we feel less needy of Allah’s help we turn to Him less. We tend to remember Allah less in times of ease. So “ease” is no less of a test of our faith, especially when we remember that Iblis vowed to use ingratitude as a means to lead us astray (see Qur’an 7: 16-17).

                    The way to show patience with such a test is to always be grateful, to know Allah is the source of our blessings, to fight pride and ego, and to fight the temptation to show off. And if someone succeeds in that trial, they would be rewarded by Allah and be drawn closer to Allah, no differently from someone who faced their hardships with sabr.

                    Having sabr with blessings is also shown by utilising the good things Allah gave us – if it is money, do we spend it freely in the way of Allah, or do we hold back? If it is knowledge, or free time, or good health, or youthfulness, how do we use these blessings? It is not always easy to be generous with those blessings, and to use them for Allah rather than the ego—that is a great test too.

                    Finally, it’s worth remembering there are examples of companions who were blessed with abundance—Khadijah, Abu Bakr, Uthman bin Affan, Abdur Rahman bin Awf, may Allah be pleased with them all! They were blessed with wealth and status too, but they used that to serve Allah and the Ummah. In fact, they were among those promised paradise. So being tested with abundance does not necessarily mean that person is less beloved to Allah, they are just being tested differently. And Allah knows best.

                    Source: 5 Reasons Why We Are Tested | Amaliah
                    Last edited by hamza81; 28-04-22, 12:18 AM.
                    10 steps to increase our imaan(faith)
                    Forty Good Deeds to do Everyday!


                    • #55
                      Tired of Life Difficulties? Read This Hadith

                      Abu Sa`id and Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with them) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor anxiety, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

                      This world is no more than a test in which all humans are bound to face some hardships and challenges that reveal their patience and steadfastness.

                      Different Tests

                      The forms of this test are numerous and diverse: Some people suffer poverty, some suffer physical illnesses, some live in a state of insecurity, some are deprived of their cherished and beloved ones, and still others suffer psychiatric disorders. Referring to this fact, Allah says: {And surely We shall try you with something of fear and hunger, and loss of wealth and lives and crops; but give glad tidings to the patient, Who says, when afflicted with calamity: “To Allah We belong, and to Him is our return”: They are those on whom (descend) Blessings from Allah, and Mercy, and they are the ones that receive guidance.} (Al-Baqarah 2:155-157)

                      In another verse, He Almighty says: {He Who created Death and Life, that He may try which of you is best in deed: and He is the Exalted in Might, Oft-Forgiving.} (Al-Mulk 67:2)

                      Since hardships are inevitable, Islam does not let them pass by without proper guidance about the safest and most appropriate attitude. The above Hadith reveals one dimension of Islam’s recipe for successfully dealing with life’s challenges.

                      The Positive Side of Problems

                      In order to balance the negative effects posed by afflictions, Islam draws our attention to their expected fruit. Problems and troubles serve as means to expiate sins and elevate the believer’s rank in the Hereafter.

                      This optimistic and positive approach safeguards one from falling prey to despair and grief. Here, it is fitting to cite some Prophetic hadiths that emphasize this concept:

                      Abu Yahya Suhaib bin Sinan (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “How wonderful is the case of a believer; there is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is good for him” (Muslim).

                      Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “He whom Allah intends good, He makes him to suffer from some affliction” (Al-Bukhari).

                      Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “A Muslim, male or female, continues to remain under trial in respect of his life, property, and offspring until he faces Allah, the Exalted, with no sin record” (At-Tirmidhi).
                      A Call to Defeatism?

                      The above hadiths should not be mistaken for a call to fatalism and defeatism. The message the hadiths convey is that every Muslim should expect hardships and prepare to weather them. Therefore, believers face difficulties with brave hearts; they trust Allah’s wisdom and believe in His mercy; and they know that these tests are rewarding. Compare that attitude to the feeling that one is alone in this world, facing its formidable challenges isolated from any source of support or assistance.

                      So, these hadiths are meant to infuse the Muslim with hope and vigour and drive away the destructive thoughts of failure and hopelessness. To get a better understanding of them, we should consider them in light of the following hadiths:

                      Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “A strong believer is better and dearer to Allah than a weak one, and both are good.

                      Adhere to that which is beneficial for you. Keep asking Allah for help and do not refrain from it.

                      (If you are afflicted in any way), do not say: ‘If I had taken this or that step, it would have resulted into such and such,’ but say only: ‘Allah so determined and did as He willed.’ The word ‘if’ opens the gates of satanic (thoughts)” (Muslim).

                      This hadith goes in line with the Prophet’s reminder to his cousin Ibn `Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) that with patience comes victory, with distress comes relief, and with hardship comes ease.

                      What if It’s a Punishment?

                      In this respect, one idea may be a source of worry and disturbance. How can we approach afflictions with such optimism when they are clear signs of Allah’s wrath and manifestations of His punishment? Has not Allah said, {Whatever misfortune happens to you, is because of the things your hands have wrought, and for many (of them) He grants forgiveness} (Ash-Shura 42:30)

                      These questions haunt many people, especially the practicing ones, when they are afflicted with a calamity, deprived of a cherished person, or plagued with an illness. The problem is that in many cases this thought becomes a source of frustration and depression.

                      Instead of being an incentive to repentance and drawing closer to him, the idea serves sometimes as a dispiriting factor. So, let’s see how the Companions viewed the above verse and how they took it positively and optimistically.

                      In his comment on the above verse, Imam Al-Qurtubi reports that `Ali (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "This verse is the most hope-inspiring one in the Quran; if my sins are to be expiated through afflictions and calamities, and above that, Allah will forgive many other sins, then what will remain after such expiation and forgiveness?”

                      True, life’s disasters leave hearts broken and loved ones deprived, but the bright believer knows how turn them into a source of determination and a fountain of strength.

                      I conclude with the beautiful authentic hadith in which the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) tells us that the people who face the harshest trial (bla’) are the prophets, then those next to them (in faith and devotion), and then the next. Everyone will be tried according to his level of faith; one who has strong faith will undergo a harsh trial and one who is of weak faith will receive a weak trial. And the affliction will encompass one until he becomes free of sins altogether.

                      Source: Tired of Life Difficulties? Read This Hadith | About Islam
                      10 steps to increase our imaan(faith)
                      Forty Good Deeds to do Everyday!


                      • #56
                        10 steps to increase our imaan(faith)
                        Forty Good Deeds to do Everyday!



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