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    sufi/salafi marriage

    Assalalmu alaykum wa rahmatullah....

    I dont know what to do..im getting married in about 4 months. My mother and i done all the shopping and preparing for the wedding. I am happy with my fiance, but now i am starting to get double thoughts. Originally, i was okay and comfortable with the fact that he is a Sufi ( im salafi) - even though my dad was proper against it but he came around at the end alhamdulillah. Now everyone is happy and and excited for us except.....me. I'm so confused and i don't know what to do...just having this change of heart is making me sad and depressed. I know i should have thought about this before i got engaged to him and honestly i don't wanna call it off cos he means a lot to me. At the end of the day, he is a Muslim. but the major thing im worried about is about my future kids (insha'Allah). i don't want them to be confused where mum says this and dad says something different ...e.g, bid'ah, shirk etc. Has anyone here been in the same situation? Or might know anyone else that might have been in a similar situation?

    May Allah reward you all.

    #2
    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

    We are all Muslims at the end of the day.

    If you are afraid of your husband doing a little dhikr I would advise you not to worry, however if he is dancing and single in mixed groups with guitars (extreme) then it is up to you to call the marriage off.
    Your kids can take the best from both perhaps? Allahu Alam :)

    Comment


      #3
      Re: sufi/salafi marriage

      yes, i would end it. if you fear itll have a neg affect on your kids in future, end it inshallah. you have a responsibility as a mother, and i think one of them is to give your kids the best islamic education, and that starts with good parents.

      also it may cause tension between u and ur hubbi in future (if u marry the guy), as he has his belief and u have urs) which will make the kids sad and confused, 'cos mummy and daddy will be arguing all the time.

      i suggest to end it inshallah :)

      Comment


        #4
        Re: sufi/salafi marriage

        none of this matters. don't listen to 'end-it' logic.

        Comment


          #5
          Re: sufi/salafi marriage

          ^ and why not?
          i mean, the kids are the ones that ae gonna get struck in teh middle and get confused.

          @thread stater, pray istikhara also.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: sufi/salafi marriage

            salam

            ur a salfi and you agreed to a sufi husband... your dad was correct in being agaisnt this marriage but these days people dont really want to know that the father is the head of the household and should be obeyed....


            how can you marry an innovator? doesnt make sense to me...

            Comment


              #7
              Re: sufi/salafi marriage

              Wa Salaam.

              If you think he commits shirk .. then how in world can you marry him?

              It depends what kind of sufi he is. You get different kinds, unfortunately you get a lot of imposters.

              But If he knows, practice's and understands true tassawaf like all the great scholars did, then you have nothing to worry about. However if he doesn't .. then you do.
              If you were in the clouds, Allah would raise us to you or lower you to us for battle.

              said this to the Byzantine troops when they retreated from the battle field to the fortified town of Chalcis.

              - Khalid ibn Walid

              Comment


                #8
                Re: sufi/salafi marriage

                Salam..
                Listenin to the parents is really important in islam, n sumtimes we might think our parents dont understand our situation..but trust me they are mostly right.. ur father was right about this sufi brother ur thinkin of marryin...i realli think u shuldnt marry him, he might commit shirk n he most likely commits bidah (every innovation, leads to misguidence and every misguidence is in da hell fire)...imagine if he mis-guides ur children..n allah will hold u account because u married him knowing how his aqeeda is...N yess we are all muslims, alhamdulilah, but some muslims are truly in error wen it comes to dere aqeedah..n i dont think u shuld marry him sis...plus it doesnt matter if u prepared 4 da marriage u still can CANCEL...its better now den wen ur actually married to him...
                p.s i think ur dad will be pleased deep down...

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: sufi/salafi marriage

                  why do people automatically assume the guy is an innovator?

                  when will people get it through their heads that sufism does not equal bidah?

                  anyone that believes that are branding many many famous scholars of the past and innovators.
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                    #10
                    Re: sufi/salafi marriage

                    My advise to you is that you have HUGE differences and you wont end it with the arguments. I think you should talk to your fiance about it and if you start arguing you know what to do. It is better to marry someone with equal beliefs. I dont know if you have ever seen the salafi vs sufi debates but they are intense. If you dont want future problems then i recommend you to end if he is one bid3e sufi. If he is a sufi that doesnt know much about bidah or shirk and is able to change his ways to accommodate you then go on with the marriage. You need to talk to him and find out first.
                    Last edited by al-ghazalli; 18-08-08, 06:36 PM. Reason: not relevant to the topic
                    Surat Al-An'am verse 26: Of them there are some who (pretend to) listen to thee; but We have thrown veils on their hearts, so they understand it not, and deafness in their ears; if they saw every one of the Signs, they will not believe in them; in so much that when they come to thee; they (but) dispute with thee; the Unbelievers say: "These are nothing but tales of the ancients."

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: sufi/salafi marriage

                      As Salam Alikum

                      Sister if you believe your future husband will abide the Qur`an, Sunnah and our Pious Predecessor's then you have a great husband and do not need to worry about anything.

                      Imam Nawawi (Rahimullah) is the Shaykhul Islam for the Shafi madhab and a great Scholar of hadith and fiqh and he states;

                      The way of Sufism is based on five principles:

                      1) Having godfearingness privately and publcily,

                      2) Living according to the sunna in word and deed

                      3) Indifference to where others accept or reject one

                      4) Satisfaction with Allah (SWT) Most High in dearth and plenty

                      5) And returning to Allah (SWT) in happiness or affliction

                      The principles of treating the illnesses of the soul are also five: lightening the stomach by diminishing one’s food and drink, taking refuge in Allah (SWT) Most High from the unforeseen when it befalls, shunning situations involving what one fears to fall victom to, continually asking for Allah (SWT)’s forgiveness and His blessings upon the Prophet ( Allah (SWT) bless him and give him peace) night and day with full presence of mind, and keeping the company of him who guides one to Allah (SWT).” ( al-Maqasid fi bayan ma yajibu ma’rifatuhu min al-din(y106), 83-84, 87).

                      These are the most basic principles of Sufism and as you can see none of this contradicts the Sharia.

                      What most people say about tasawwuf is garbage, most have no knowledge on the subjec itself nor have they bothered to read the classical texts and evidence behind many actions.

                      Make Salatul Istihara and take with your future husband about any fears you may have.

                      And with Allah is all Success.
                      Last edited by al-ghazalli; 18-08-08, 06:38 PM.
                      The spiritual warrior is he who breaks an idol;
                      and the idol of each person is his Ego.

                      - Imam Abul Qasim al-Qushayri

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: sufi/salafi marriage

                        I don't get how some people are so quick to judge the brother. We know absolutely nothing about him. Subhanallah!!!!!
                        "And thus have We willed you to be a community of the middle way."
                        (al-Baqarah: 143)

                        Allahumma innaa na'udhu bika min an nushrika bika shai-an na'lamuh; wa nastaghfiruka limaa laa na'lam.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: sufi/salafi marriage

                          Originally posted by the_middle_road View Post
                          I don't get how some people are so quick to judge the brother. We know absolutely nothing about him. Subhanallah!!!!!
                          And they think they are the self-righteous and the pious salafis.

                          May Allah guide us all. Ameen
                          لا أريد مِنْكُمْ جَزَاء وَلا شُكُورًا

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: sufi/salafi marriage

                            You are probably having some pre-wedding jitters. I'm assuming it happens to even the best of us, so don't worry. If you feel this way, I suggest praying istikhara and then talking to your husband about your concerns. He may just ease your doubts and you'll be happy with him even more.

                            May Allah give you strength sister and bless your marriage. Ameen.
                            مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً وَاللّهُ يَقْبِضُ وَيَبْسُطُ وَإِلَيْهِ تُرْجَعُونَ

                            "Who is he that will loan to Allah a beautiful loan, which Allah will double unto his credit and multiply many times?
                            It is Allah that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return."
                            Surah al-Baqarah
                            [2:245]

                            .:.
                            .:. Perfer et Obdura : Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim .:.
                            Be patient and strong : someday this pain will be useful to you

                            .:.
                            ...said the spider to the fly...

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: sufi/salafi marriage

                              sis its not for anyone of us to judge and give you a decision, the decision must come soley from you, but before making a decision, pray your istikhara, inshallah this shall help you

                              Comment

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