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My Mother is Married to a Man I do not Trust

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  • My Mother is Married to a Man I do not Trust

    Salaam, everyone.

    This is my first time on this forum. I've sought out an Islamic forum as this is my only source of advice in my current situation. So some background...

    I am a 17 year old female. I live with relatives in the States, and my mother and four younger siblings live back in my mother's home country. My father passed away several years ago. After his death, we all moved from the States to my mother's birth country. She became rather close with a second cousin of hers, that she often saw around in her youth. He was kind and supportive of my mother and my siblings and I just saw him as the cool uncle that took us on road trips. I hadn't noticed that their relationship was blossoming into something else, as I was a young and naive teenager.

    They got married almost two years ago. I wasn't very happy about it, as I saw it as incest but I didn't want to hurt my mother so I kept silent. They had a child together. While my pregnant mother was on a trip overseas, the man stumbled into my younger sisters' room and fondled my sleeping little sister. She woke up, startled. He got off of her and told her not to tell my mother and stumbled out of the room . My sister woke me up in the morning, crying and shaking. She told me what happened and I decided I would sleep in my little sister's room until my mother came back from the trip, to protect her. Once I had told my mother what had happened after she came back from the trip, she abruptly told him to leave the house.

    This all happened a year and a half ago. My mother is now pregnant again to the same man and is planning to give birth in the States. I am heartbroken and disgusted. I'm assuming that she believes the man's excuse for what he did that night. He said that he was intoxicated with a local drug and thought he had stumbled into his bedroom and thought that my sister's bed was his.
    I don't know if I should trust his words or not but I do know I don't want him in my life or any my sisters' life's. I've made this clear to my mother but she simply does not care.

    Considering that this is my mother, a mother that I'm deeply disgusted with albeit, what should I do? None of my relatives know about this, and talking about things like this would tear my extended family apart.

  • #2
    Originally posted by Mayday View Post
    Salaam, everyone.

    This is my first time on this forum. I've sought out an Islamic forum as this is my only source of advice in my current situation. So some background...

    I am a 17 year old female. I live with relatives in the States, and my mother and four younger siblings live bac. They had a child together. While my pregnant mother was on a trip overseas, the man stumbled into my younger sisters' room and fondled my sleeping little sister. She woke up, startled. He got off of her and told her not to tell my mother and stumbled out of the room . My sister woke me up in the morning, crying and shaking. She told me what happened and I decided I would sleep in my little sister's room until my mother came back from the trip, to protect her. Once I had told my mother what had happened after she came back from the trip, she abruptly told him to leave the house.

    This all happened a year and a half ago. My mother is now pregnant again to the same man and is planning to give birth in the States. I am heartbroken and disgusted. I'm assuming that she believes the man's excuse for what he did that night. He said that he was intoxicated with a local drug and thought he had stumbled into his bedroom and thought that my sister's bed was his.
    I don't know if I should trust his words or not but I do know I don't want him in my life or any my sisters' life's. I've made this clear to my mother but she simply does not care.

    Considering that this is my mother, a mother that I'm deeply disgusted with albeit, what should I do? None of my relatives know about this, and talking about things like this would tear my extended family apart.
    Wa Alaykom Assalam Sister mayday
    You need to report this most extremely vile incestual perverted haraam crime that was done to your innocent younger sister by your evil vile incestual perverted sexual predator criminal father in law to the police right away in shaa ALLAH in order to get him arrested and charged as a sexual predator criminal. Also you need to go to your local magistrate judge and get a restraining order against your evil vile incestual perverted sexual predator criminal father in law so if he ever comes near you or your other sisters in the future you can call the police and get him arrested right away for violating the restraining order. So please sister take action now and fast in accordance with your state laws in shaa ALLAH because your evil vile incestual perverted sexual predator criminal father in law could repeat(GOD forbid it) what he did again and again until he is in prison forever in shaa ALLAH.

    Ya ALLAH AL-HAFEEZ protect sister mayday and all of her sisters from all evil always and from all immorality always and avenge them all from all injustice and wrong always that had been done to them and severely punish their evil vile incestual perverted sexual predator criminal father in law in this world always and in the very worst level of hellfire for eternity always. Aameen
    Last edited by ABDEL-ATHEEM; 10-03-20, 12:12 PM.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by ABDEL-ATHEEM View Post

      Wa Alaykom Assalam Sister mayday
      You need to report this most extremely vile incestual perverted haraam crime that was done to your innocent younger sister by your evil vile incestual perverted sexual predator criminal father in law to the police right away in shaa ALLAH in order to get him arrested and charged as a sexual predator criminal. Also you need to go to your local magistrate judge and get a restraining order against your evil vile incestual perverted sexual predator criminal father in law so if he ever comes near you or your other sisters in the future you can call the police and get him arrested right away for violating the restraining order. So please sister take action now and fast in accordance with your state laws in shaa ALLAH because your evil vile incestual perverted sexual predator criminal father in law could repeat(GOD forbid it) what he did again and again until he is in prison forever in shaa ALLAH.

      Ya ALLAH AL-HAFEEZ protect sister mayday and all of her sisters from all evil always and from all immorality always and avenge them all from all injustice and wrong always that had been done to them and severely punish their evil vile incestual perverted sexual predator criminal father in law in this world always and in the very worst level of hellfire for eternity always. Aameen
      They (my family and mother's husband) live in northern Somalia. There's no such thing as a restraining order and there's no technically no solid proof that his intentions were to sexually harass my little sister. Like I mentioned, his excuse was that he was intoxicated, which I don''t believe and even if it's true, I don't care because I still do not want an intoxicated person near my sisters. Therefore there's no way I can get him arrested.

      Comment


      • #4
        Asalamu aleykum my daughter may Allah SWT easy your pain I really think you and your sister should confront your mom and let her know how you feel about this idiot ! Who is taking advantage to children whom their father died ! He has no Eman & deen ! He was probably high on qat or khat the narcotic plant that all men seem to chew! Habo I am so sorry what happened to your sister disgusting beast ! It is painful that your mother had forgiven & bought his lies Habo ! Personal massage me if you need to talk . Iam a nurse & mother of five I have been in the west since 1990 . Habo I came from Hargeisa too North Somalia . Habo you need to communicate with your mother to choose either or ! She cannot be having babies for so called pediphile ! Inshallah habo focus on your education & deen ! So soon you can get married inshallah and get your own place to move on and help your siblings. But please let your mom know where you stand . Tell your father side family so this pedophile is exposed and shamed in the community. Iam making Dua to you Habo and your siblings aameen

        Comment


        • #5
          Please do something's right report this if your mother not doing anything do your sister please don't like your mother because your sister grew up her mother late done and her sister 😥😥😥😥😥🙄🙄🙄

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Hinda View Post
            Asalamu aleykum my daughter may Allah SWT easy your pain I really think you and your sister should confront your mom and let her know how you feel about this idiot ! Who is taking advantage to children whom their father died ! He has no Eman & deen ! He was probably high on qat or khat the narcotic plant that all men seem to chew! Habo I am so sorry what happened to your sister disgusting beast ! It is painful that your mother had forgiven & bought his lies Habo ! Personal massage me if you need to talk . Iam a nurse & mother of five I have been in the west since 1990 . Habo I came from Hargeisa too North Somalia . Habo you need to communicate with your mother to choose either or ! She cannot be having babies for so called pediphile ! Inshallah habo focus on your education & deen ! So soon you can get married inshallah and get your own place to move on and help your siblings. But please let your mom know where you stand . Tell your father side family so this pedophile is exposed and shamed in the community. Iam making Dua to you Habo and your siblings aameen

            Thank you for the dua, habo. Sadly there's nobody I can trust on my father's side of the family or my mother's side.There's no one out there that I can trust. There's no kind person who can extend a helping hand or talk some sense into my mother. I talked to my mother but she's stubborn and doesn't value or consider any of my words. She has literally chosen this man over her own fatherless daughters. I'll try to work hard, graduate high school and bring my sisters back to the States to raise them in my care.

            Comment


            • #7
              Build your future so you can get out. Because it seems like you don't have anyone to trust so you can only really work really hard to escape this sickness.

              Comment


              • #8
                Since your mother is least bothered about the safety of her daughters and none of your relatives can be trusted to help, it's solely your sisters' that will have to take adequate precautions to protect themselves.

                Advise your sisters to
                1. Always , always lock their doors when they sleep/while they're undressing etc
                2. Never stay alone with your mother's husband when your mother is not at home.
                3. Keep pepper/chilly spray near them and a hockey stick/iron rod handy in case they need to defend themselves.
                4. Recite the masnoon duas for protection every morning and evening.

                May Allah protect your sisters from harm.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by ~TwinklingStar~ View Post
                  May Allah protect your sisters from harm.
                  ameen!

                  Assalamu Alaykom
                  Last edited by ABDEL-ATHEEM; 25-03-20, 03:58 AM.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by ~TwinklingStar~ View Post
                    Since your mother is least bothered about the safety of her daughters and none of your relatives can be trusted to help, it's solely your sisters' that will have to take adequate precautions to protect themselves.

                    Advise your sisters to
                    1. Always , always lock their doors when they sleep/while they're undressing etc
                    2. Never stay alone with your mother's husband when your mother is not at home.
                    3. Keep pepper/chilly spray near them and a hockey stick/iron rod handy in case they need to defend themselves.
                    4. Recite the masnoon duas for protection every morning and evening.

                    May Allah protect your sisters from harm.

                    Thank you for the advice. I'll instruct them to do this as soon as possible.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Habo so proud of you may Allah SWT ease you pain and grant you to ge able to bring your sisters in the states . Habo join RushHourladies only in Facebook they are young Somali women in the west advise each other love you and praying for you

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                      • #12
                        How old are you hun?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Shaken View Post
                          How old are you hun?
                          Originally posted by Mayday View Post
                          Salaam, everyone.

                          This is my first time on this forum. I've sought out an Islamic forum as this is my only source of advice in my current situation. So some background...

                          I am a 17 year old female. I live with relatives in the States.


                          Sister Shaken, Mayday had said she was 17 years ago in her first post on this thread.

                          Assalaamu Alaykom
                          Last edited by ABDEL-ATHEEM; 25-03-20, 01:42 AM.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by ~TwinklingStar~ View Post
                            Since your mother is least bothered about the safety of her daughters and none of your relatives can be trusted to help, it's solely your sisters' that will have to take adequate precautions to protect themselves.

                            Advise your sisters to
                            1. Always , always lock their doors when they sleep/while they're undressing etc
                            2. Never stay alone with your mother's husband when your mother is not at home.
                            3. Keep pepper/chilly spray near them and a hockey stick/iron rod handy in case they need to defend themselves.
                            4. Recite the masnoon duas for protection every morning and evening.

                            May Allah protect your sisters from harm.
                            Sure, that doesn't necessarily reduce the likelihood of being touched inappropriately.

                            What list of advise would you give to her step father?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              So op what would happen if you made a police report ?

                              Comment

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