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  • Depression and loneliness help

    Assalamu alaikum siters and brothers,

    I've found many threads on this forum about our fellow Muslims facing difficulties and mostly loneliness and depression.

    As I went through that earlier in life and Allah guided me to the light, I believe it's time I share what He taught me with you. If you are having troubles please let me help you.

    You can post here your problems or even message me.


  • #2
    Walaikum asalaam wa rahmatullah

    Regardless of anyone messaging or posting their problems just go ahead and share your experience. JazakAllah khairun.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Mintchocchip View Post
      Walaikum asalaam wa rahmatullah

      Regardless of anyone messaging or posting their problems just go ahead and share your experience. JazakAllah khairun.
      I'm a little bit afraid to write too much about it and people are lazy to read, especially, when depressed.

      But, I will start with my gratitude for all I went through. In the end everything had much sense and I realized how much Allah cares about us.

      Allah created us to worship Him alone. That's the only purpose of humans. But the problem is that we don't really understand what that means. The thing is that we need to learn a lot about Allah. And when we have any single negative thought let's check them up with His names and we'll see that something is not fitting.

      By worshiping Him alone - it's not that we need to become robots doing a lot of sajda with no feelings. It's about building a relationship with Him, becoming closer and closer to Him and figuring that every single thing is under His control. We need to free ourselves from everything else. Our worries may become our center of attention. There we forget that what we worry about is, again, under Allah's control. So, move your focus on Allah instead of the thing that is making you troubles - that's worshiping. And when you do it, the worry will disappear.

      Allah is always communicating with us. When He puts us under hardship, there are many different possible reasons for that:
      1. To save us from something
      2. To make us closer to Him
      3. To purify us
      4. To teach us about something (patience, strength, wisdom)
      5. To warn us
      6. etc
      Later on I would write about every single reason - this is just to make it shorter

      Comment


      • #4
        Before I go on, I would try to give you some perspective.

        All we're going trough depends on the perspective.

        As an example, Allah gave us a fantastic story about two people. They were husband and wife. The wife is one of the best women ever walked the Earth. Her husband was recorded worst man ever walked the Earth - Pharaoh and Asyah (r.a.).

        He was emperor. He was Dunya's owner. He claimed to be god (Subhan Allah). He would kill baby boys every 2nd year and he did so many monstrous things. Well, we all know his story.
        On the other side, Asiyah gave up everything for Allah. She was tortured by her husband only because she believed in Allah alone.

        If you would watch a film without knowing Asiyah was seeing her house in Jannah, you would say: This world is unfair. You would say Allah is unfair. Why is she suffering from being good and being Muslim. And why Allah gave Pharoah everything? But you have read the story many times. You have heard about this story many times and you know that Allah showed her the house in Jannah and made her feel no pain. You know that Pharoah is going to hellfire.

        I understand that you don't see your house in Jannah while facing hardship. But, mostly you don't because you're not patient. You are probably complaining. Or maybe you're thinking that Allah is punishing you for something.

        Step aside for a moment. Humbly ask Allah why you're going through it with full trust, knowing in your heart that He's in control of everything. You'll get an answer, a sign at least.

        For a Muslim, final destination and focus is Jannah, Allah's satisfaction. For non-Muslim, the final destination is tis odd world. We all get what we want. Muslims get their place in Jannah and will enjoy living there forever. Non-muslims get what they want - their perfect Dunya life.

        Jannah = eternal joy
        Dunya = nothing

        Dunya's life period may last for couple of decades. Compared to eternity, it's like the blink of starlight. We often don't notice that blink while looking at the night sky.

        Muslims sacrifice nothing for eternity. Non-Muslims sacrifice eternity for nothing.

        Comment


        • #5
          If you're a believer and something very bad happened to you, let me show you how happier than disbeliever you are with, let's imagine, the same trial:

          You know, you always have known that Dunya's life is nothing. You know that there's Hereafter. There's Jannah, eternal place. You know at least a bit about Allah's wisdom.

          But, disbeliever thinks and believes that he or she lives in one and only life. After they die, there's nothing. They believe their body is final body. Can you imagine agony they're going through? How much attention, money they spend to make their life as perfect as possible.

          For Christians and Jews, it's not much better. I know so many of them and they don't really have big expectations of the Afterlife as they, also, imagine God in form of an old man with a long and grey beard (Astagfirullah, Subhanehu Teala). They don't even believe in the Supreme power of God (Subhanehu Teala). Other religions believe in karma and reincarnation. Imagine believing in reincarnation. Imagine believing that you'd be born as a frog after you die. What an agony... Or if you're rich you deserved it in previous life. If you're poor, you deserved it... what an agony again.

          Whatever happens to you, Allah is cleansing you from sins and elevating you. Allah might order building a house in Jannah for you for one single hardship you're going through. And you're hoping for that while going through something.
          Last edited by Loving; 15-02-20, 04:11 PM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Loving View Post
            If you're a believer and something very bad happened to you, let me show you how happier than disbeliever you are with, let's imagine, the same trial:

            You know, you always have known that Dunya's life is nothing. You know that there's Hereafter. There's Jannah, eternal place. You know at list a bit about Allah's wisdom.

            But, disbeliever thinks and believes that he or she lives in one and only life. After they die, there's nothing. They believe their body is final body. Can you imagine agony they're going through? How much attention, money they spend to make their life as perfect as possible.

            For Christians and Jews, it's not much better. I know so many of them and they don't really have big expectations of the Afterlife as they, also, imagine God in form of an old many with a long and grey beard (Astagfirullah, Subhanehu Teala). They don't even believe in the Supreme power of God (Subhanehu Teala). Other religions believe in karma and reincarnation. Imagine believing in reincarnation. Imagine believing that you'd be born as a frog after you die. What an agony... Or if you're rich you deserved it in previous life. If you're poor, you deserved it... what an agony again.

            Whatever happens to you, Allah is cleansing you from sins and elevating you. Allah might order building a house in Jannah for you for one single hardship you're going through. And you're hoping for that while going through something.
            SubhanAllah, all important points to ponder on in sha Allah^
            وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

            And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


            أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

            Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


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            • #7
              This is really helpful. Thank you for sharing. I'm going through a hard journey right now and reading this is a good reminder

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by LaylaAb View Post
                This is really helpful. Thank you for sharing. I'm going through a hard journey right now and reading this is a good reminder
                Dear Layla,

                I'm glad this thread is helping you. If you need to talk about all you're going through, you can always PM me

                Comment


                • #9
                  Another perspective

                  This world is just an illusion. Yes, I know, we feel pain, sorrow... We see, hear, taste, feel.
                  But sometimes we, also, feel, see, hear while dreaming. Sometimes dreams feel so real. But when we wake up, the feeling is fading. And what we felt in the dream is nothing compared to "real life."

                  When we die, the same will happen with our Dunya life. All we cared for, all we felt will fade. We will wake up for real. So, whatever you're going through, it will pass.

                  When it comes to passing... Everything in this world changes all the time. When you buy a new TV, it seems perfect. But, by the time its quality is fading and there are new on the market. We change our phones every second year because what we have just bought becomes unworthy within two years only.

                  In Jannah, everything lasts forever. But not just that. Nothing brokes ever, and everything gets better and better. When you taste the fruit in Jannah you'll be amazed by its taste. But the very next bite it will get even better.

                  Imagine, you'll never bleed again. You'll never get hurt again. You'll never have a headache or toothache again.

                  Sura Kahf wisdom for hardships

                  Rember stories from Surah Kafh about Khidr?

                  The Khidr story starts with Musa's promise he would be patient: [Moses] said, "You will find me, if Allah wills, patient, and I will not disobey you in [any] order." (18:69)

                  And goes from ships to orphan boys:

                  And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the city, and there was beneath it a treasure for them, and their father had been righteous. So your Lord intended that they reach maturity and extract their treasure, as a mercy from your Lord. And I did it not of my own accord. That is the interpretation of that about which you could not have patience." (18:82)

                  Now, everyone would give that treasure to the orphan boys right away. But, Khidr didn't do that. He hid it from their mother and the boys until they get old enough. Imagine, their mother was probably very worried about their poverty and maybe she spent days and nights in prayer, but the "risk" wasn't coming. You and I would think Allah abandoned us. Maybe she thought the same. But Allah actually did what was the best for the boys! Think about it, a lot. Maybe you're too praying for something day and night, and it's not happening. But Allah is taking care of you. He always takes a very good care of every single believer. Don't despair!


                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Finally - if you feel lonely if you feel no one cares about you if you feel there is no one you could talk to about everyday life or your heart problems - YOU ARE WRONG!

                    In this world, everything is an illusion. Nothing is real. This world is just a test. And everyone is dealing with their own problems. You might hear or read that there are people surrounded by people but still feel lonely. The illusion comes from Dunya's "enchantment". When we start caring too much about Dunya or caring at all, then all problems appear.
                    On the other hand - no one is alone. There are minimum 2 angels with you and Allah is with every single creation. Unlike disbelievers, you talk to Him directly 5 times a day. You just don't feel it. You would if you'd pray more, dhikr all the time, make tones of duas, wake up for tahajud salaat (night prayer), read Quran more. Maybe you are doing all of this, but still you're not aware of the fact that Allah is there with you.

                    And before getting to Jannah, we are all alone. We come to this world alone, we die alone. But alone with Allah!

                    I used to feel lonely a lot in past. But at the same time I figured that I have been given fantastic opportunity to spend as much as possible time alone with Allah. That made me feel His presence.

                    If you wake up for night prayer, be sure He woke you up. You're honored. That's the best time for salaat, best time to ask for forgiveness or for a wish to come true. Wake up next time and ask Him to fill your heart and makes you feel good. You'll see, a miracle will happen.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      If you're depressed that probably means Shaytan told you many lies about you, your life and Allah. When shaytan does it, he keeps repeating the same things and it has a hypnosis effect, and you start believing that you are worthless, that your life is not good, that you are not a good person, etc. And that's what Allah refers to when He talks about desperation.

                      I, personally, used to be desperate and didn't understand the ayah. I didn't think that Allah wouldn't forgive me, I was angry with myself and ashamed of Allah. That feeling leads you to the worst states of mind. In the end, to suicide (subhanallah).

                      When Allah says in Quran not to despair of His Mercy, He is telling us about every single negative state of our mind. If you were worthless, you wouldn't exist. Allah wouldn't create you and feed you every day and bring you back from death every morning. If you did something bad, it's in past. Repent and move on. It shouldn't hunt you down. If it does, remember that Dunya life is not real. If you get in Jannah, you wont remember it at all. If someone did to you something bad and you feel down, that's not your sin. Allah will deal with it.

                      Finally, put your full trust in Allah. It can be hard sometimes, but if you do, things are going to change. Try with making dua for every single thing. Thank Him for every single thing. Thank Him even for coffee, water, electricity. Ask Him for that. When you're grateful your perspective changes, you suddenly realize how much you have from Allah. And Allah promised to give more to those who are grateful.

                      If you have a need to talk to someone, please don't hesitate to contact me!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Establishment on Earth – Tamkeen

                        Allah the Most high, says,

                        “Allah has promised, to those among you who believe and work righteous deeds, that He will, of a surety, grant them in the land, inheritance (of power), as He granted it to those before them; that He will establish in authority their religion, the one which He has chosen for them and that He will change (their state), after the fear in which they (lived), to one of security and peace: They will worship Me (alone) and not associate any partner with Me. If any do reject Faith after this, they are rebellious and wicked.”

                        [Al Qur’an 24:55]




                        A good life – Hayaatan tayyibah

                        Allah the Most high, says,

                        “Whoever works righteousness, man or woman, and has Faith, verily, to him will We give a new Life, a life that is good and pure and We will bestow on such their reward according to the best of their actions.”

                        [Al Qur’an 16:97]




                        Protection

                        Allah the Most high, says,

                        “Verily Allah will defend (from ill) those who believe, verily, Allah loves not any that is a traitor to faith or shows ingratitude.”

                        [Al Qur’an 22:38]




                        Allah will never grant the disbelievers a way over the believers

                        Allah the Most high, says,

                        “And never will Allah grant to the unbelievers a way (to triumph) over the believers” [Al Qur’an 4:141]




                        Deliverance from darkness into light

                        Allah the Most high, says,

                        “Allah is the Protector of those who have faith; from the depths of darkness He will lead them forth into light. Of those who reject faith the patrons are the evil ones, from light they will lead them forth into the depths of darkness. They will be companions of the fire, to dwell therein (For ever).”

                        [Al Qur’an 2:257]




                        No fear and no grief

                        Allah the Most high, says,

                        “Those who believe, and do deeds of righteousness, and establish regular prayers and regular charity, will have their reward with their Lord. On them shall be no fear, nor shall they grieve.”

                        [Al Qur’an 2:277]




                        Allah will pay them in full

                        Allah the Most high, says,

                        “As to those who believe and work righteousness, Allah will pay them (in full) their reward, but Allah loves not those who do wrong.”

                        [Al Qur’an 3:57]




                        Forgiveness – Maghfirah

                        Allah the Most high, says,

                        “To those who believe and do deeds of righteousness has Allah promised forgiveness and a great reward”

                        [Al Qur’an 5:9]




                        Peace and security

                        Allah the Most high, says,

                        “It is those who believe and confuse not their beliefs with wrong that are (truly) in security, for they are on (right) guidance.”

                        [Al Qur’an 6:82]




                        Blessings – Barakah

                        Allah the Most high, says,

                        “If the people of the towns had but believed and feared Allah, we should indeed have opened out to them (all kinds of) blessings from heaven and earth, but they rejected (the truth), and We brought them to book for their misdeeds.”

                        [Al Qur’an 7:96]




                        Guidance – Hidayah

                        Allah the Most high, says,

                        “Those who believe, and work righteousness, their Lord will guide them because of their faith, beneath them will flow rivers in gardens of bliss.”

                        [Al Qur’an 10:9]




                        Allah will save you

                        “In the end We deliver Our Messengers and those who believe (to safety) Thus is it fitting on Our part that We should deliver those who believe.”

                        [Al Qur’an 10:103]




                        A good ending

                        Allah, the Most High says,

                        “For those who believe and work righteousness, is (every) blessedness, and a beautiful place of (final) return.”

                        [Al Qur’an 13:29]

                        Allah, the Most High also mentions what Moosa(AS) said to his people,

                        “…for the earth belongs to Allah, and He will give it to whomever He wills and the end belongs to the Al-Muttaqeen (righteous).”

                        [Al Qur’an 7:128]




                        Steadfastness and firmness – Thibaat

                        Allah, the Most High says,

                        “Allah will establish in strength those who believe, with the word that stands firm, in this world and in the Hereafter; but Allah will leave, to stray, those who do wrong, and Allah does what He wills.”

                        [Al Qur’an 14:27]




                        Protection from Shaitaan

                        Allah, the Most High says,

                        “No authority has he (i.e. Shaitaan) over those who believe and put their trust in their Lord.”

                        [Al Qur’an 16:99]




                        No effort will be wasted

                        Allah the Most High says,

                        “As to those who believe and work righteousness, verily We shall not suffer to perish the reward of any who do a (single) righteous deed.”

                        [Al Qur’an 18:30]




                        Love for them

                        Allah, the Most High says,

                        “Verily, those who believe and work deeds of righteousness, the Most Gracious will bestow love for them.”

                        [Al Qur’an 19:96]




                        Allah will erase the evil

                        Allah, the Most High says,

                        “Those who believe and work righteous deeds, from them shall We blot out all evil (that maybe) in them, and We shall reward them according to the best of their deeds.”

                        [Al Qur’an 29:7]




                        Victory

                        Allah, the Most High says,

                        “We will, without doubt, help our Messengers and those who believe, (both) in this world’s life and on the Day when the Witnesses will stand forth”

                        [Al Qur’an 40:51]

                        And Allah, the Most High also says,

                        “…and it was due from Us to aid (give victory) those who believed.”

                        [Al Qur’an 30:47]




                        The mercy of Allah – Rahmah

                        Allah, the Most High says,

                        “Then, as to those who believed and did righteous deeds, their Lord will admit them to His Mercy. That will be the achievement for all to see.”

                        [Al Qur’an 45:30]




                        The protection and friendship of Allah

                        Allah, the Most High says,

                        “Without doubt, amongst men, the nearest of kin to Ibrahim, are those who follow him, as are also this Messenger and those who believe: And Allah is the Wali [protecting friend] of those who have faith.”

                        [Al Qur’an 3:68]




                        The grace and kindness of Allah – Fadl

                        Allah, the Most High, says,

                        “…for Allah is full of grace to those who believe.”

                        [Al Qur’an 3:152]




                        Allah will be with you

                        Allah, the Most High, says

                        “…for verily Allah is with those who believe.”

                        [Al Qur’an 8:19]




                        Light Noor

                        Allah, the Most High, says:

                        “One Day shall you see the believing men and the believing women, how their Light runs forward before them and by their right hands: (their greeting will be): “Good News for you this Day, gardens beneath which flow rivers, to dwell therein for forever. This is indeed the highest Achievement”

                        [Al Qur’an 57:12]

                        Paradise -Jannah

                        Allah, the Most High says,

                        “Give glad tidings to those who believe and work righteousness, that their portion is Gardens, beneath which rivers flow. Every time they are fed with fruits therein, they say: “Why, this is what we were fed with before,” for they are given things in similitude; and they have therein companions pure (and holy), and they abide therein (for ever).”

                        [Al Qur’an 2:25]

                        link: https://dailyreminders.wordpress.com...omises/page/3/




                        3. Zaid ibn Thabit reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever makes the world his most important matter, Allah will confound his affairs and make poverty appear before his eyes and he will not get anything from the world except what has been decreed for him. Whoever makes the Hereafter his most important matter, Allah will settle his affairs and make him content in his heart and the world will come to him although he does not want it.”


                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Let me tell you my story In Sha Allah...

                          A few years ago I was so desperate. My world and life were collapsing. I didn't have money, I had bad health, I almost ended up on the streets, didn't have food, I was dealing with debts and no way out on the horizon. And I was afraid of practicing deen for every time I would get firm with salaat and other good deeds, a disaster would happen. I couldn't understand why this all was happening to me.
                          Then I found out I was dealing with serious sihir, but still couldn't understand how all those bad things were happening to me and why.

                          I cried to Allah, I begged Him for help and then He showed me the way out. After only a couple of months, Allah gave me guidance and all my problems got solved.

                          First - I needed to learn a lot. By reading Quran I realized that I can't be poor if I trust Allah and stop worrying about money and other things, because Shaytan promises us poverty and misery while Allah is Al-Razaq.

                          "Satan threatens you with poverty and orders you to immorality, while Allah promises you forgiveness from Him and bounty. And Allah is all-Encompassing and Knowing." (2:268)

                          Then I learned how much repentance means to Allah and that repentance opens all doors. So I sat down after salaat and kept repenting, saying Astaghfirullah while thinking of every single sin I ever made in my life, no matter I repented earlier for those. While I was doing it, I felt my heart was becoming happier, lighter.

                          Next, I learned a lot about gratitude. And I started counting blessings from Allah. And wallahi, it's true that He give more to those who are grateful.

                          As for the sihir, I simply stopped thinking about it and gave power only to Allah. Allah is the only one that controls everything and anything in our lives and Allah created all of us, including sahir and jinn. I also followed sunnah - falaq and nnas is more than enough.

                          For everything else, make dua. Allah loves when we ask Him for everything. He loves us making as more as possible duas. Dua confirms you're relying only on Him and He, then, helps you solve all your problems.

                          I established super relationship with Allah and my heart is, alhamdulillah, filled with love and joy. That's why my username her is Loving...

                          And the key reason for our problems is worry about Dunya. I keep reminding myself that everything is an illusion here and nothing is worth my worries. Instead, I think of Akhirah, Jannah and mostly about meeting Allah.

                          Now I have everything. Allah gave me everything. I love this relationship I have with Allah so much. While I was writing this a picture of a huge and beautiful river popped up and it reminded me of Jannah.

                          If you need any advice, help, or if you need to talk, please contact me.

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