Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Help me with my problem, please

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Help me with my problem, please

    I'm gonna try keeping this short (masturbation)
    1. I go good for about 4 days
    2. On the 6-7th day I start reasoning with myself and end up doing it. Before this I have a Hardline stance against it.
    3. I do it 1-2 times/ week in my sleep as well, which makes it harder for me to stop. I don't know if it's actually in my sleep or not but when I wake up and do it (maybe still in sleep, but on bed still) I don't even realize what I'm doing till it's done(this is not the case as when I'm awake). I think logically speaking this is me getting up in my REM sleep. I don't know how to stop this either.
    4. I do not, and I mean DO NOT want to involve anyone else. My parents know a bit about it, but no, just no. Imagine me as an orphan w/o siblings or a guardian. Marriage is also impossible in my circumstances, so pls don't recommend it. I can't really fast either, having a high metabolic rate, I barely manage the 30-32 fasts of Ramadan. But I might do it if I have to, after my exams though because I can't risk my academic performance (just 2 exams left anyway)

    with that in mind, don't quote the Hadith on fasting/marriage.

    That's basically it. Ihate myself for getting into this. I used to be pure. I want to return. I relapsed earlier today, after 7 days. That's been my highest in a month or two now. How do I stop falling again and again.... Problems 2+3 are really annoying too. I usually repent each time but I feel like I've gotten complacent.

    I put a app with restrictions to help with 2, trying to put a random password so I can't remove the restrictions, but there's unfortunately a "forgot password" option. My parents suggested listening to Surah Rahman 3 times a day for 21 days, but I couldn't maintain that mainly because exams and also because I've frankly gotten really bored of listening to the same surah over and over again (I know it's translation), astaghfirullah if that's bad for me to say, but it's the truth.

    help!
    I'm losing hope, praying and repenting for the same thing over and over again makes me complacent to it.
    ​​​
    Last edited by Bolt; 01-12-19, 11:21 AM.

  • #2
    I'm assuming you are using pornography? If that is the case then you need to position any devices in public places as obviously access will be harder. IMO the porn addiction is much more problematic than what follows it. It is having a very detrimental effect in many marriages. Brothers (and sisters) think they are using it as a quick fix before marriage, but the reality is that it often has become an addiction and a lot of damage already been done. They have internalized what they have observed as 'normal' behaviour and feel their married life is a disappointment, which they blame their spouse for. It is usually very degrading too and far from what is prescribed in the sunnah. You need to get rid of this headfirst and foremost.

    Comment


    • #3
      I used to, but alhamdullilah I haven't touched porn in a month. However I sometimes look at 'pictures' which may be as bad? Anyways it's certainly not as addicting as porn was, and I am happy that I have gotten out of the porn addiction.

      I really want to walk into 2020 with all of this buried in the past and no longer a part of me.

      Oh, and I don't even use the PC ever, and I've never used it for this purpose. I just take my phone to the toilet. Phones arent really something that can be fixed in a place, especially because I do not want to involve anyone.
      Last edited by Bolt; 01-12-19, 04:12 PM. Reason: Forgot paragraph 3

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Bolt View Post
        I used to, but alhamdullilah I haven't touched porn in a month. However I sometimes look at 'pictures' which may be as bad? Anyways it's certainly not as addicting as porn was, and I am happy that I have gotten out of the porn addiction.

        I really want to walk into 2020 with all of this buried in the past and no longer a part of me.

        Oh, and I don't even use the PC ever, and I've never used it for this purpose. I just take my phone to the toilet. Phones arent really something that can be fixed in a place, especially because I do not want to involve anyone.
        Pictures are still pornography. If you cannot trust yourself not to take it to the toilet then you need to get rid of your smart phone and downgrade to a simple phone. Imagine if you died in that moment, and your family would see what was on your phone and know what you were doing. Your Lord knows even more, try to focus on the shame before Allah swt and this should help you to stop. Is this something you do because of urges or is it just out of habit?

        Comment


        • #5
          Oh, I was pretty sure porn always meant videos, because they usually have some clothes on in photos(though it could be considered as none). I don't really want to switch to a non-smart phone cuz I use my phone for other stuff too. I perfectly know how bad it is, like I said normally it's fine but after like the 6th day my reasoning doesn't make sense and it happens. It's not really out of habit, I think it's moreso because of the urges. Like, if the urges don't come and pressurize me into it I don't do it usually. I don't even really enjoy it anymore. It feels disgusting. But I dunno why but I end up becoming compelled to do it. When I'm in this state it is already over, it's the point of no return and everything I've tried here hasn't worked. If I could stop this 3/4th of my problem would be over(the other 1/4th being in my sleep, which isn't as much of a big deal cuz according to a Hadith or a verse not sure the pen is lifted from one who is sleeping, but it's still something I want to rid of, cuz it leads to urges the following morning.)

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Bolt View Post
            I'm gonna try keeping this short (masturbation)
            1. I go good for about 4 days
            2. On the 6-7th day I start reasoning with myself and end up doing it. Before this I have a Hardline stance against it.
            3. I do it 1-2 times/ week in my sleep as well, which makes it harder for me to stop. I don't know if it's actually in my sleep or not but when I wake up and do it (maybe still in sleep, but on bed still) I don't even realize what I'm doing till it's done(this is not the case as when I'm awake). I think logically speaking this is me getting up in my REM sleep. I don't know how to stop this either.
            4. I do not, and I mean DO NOT want to involve anyone else. My parents know a bit about it, but no, just no. Imagine me as an orphan w/o siblings or a guardian. Marriage is also impossible in my circumstances, so pls don't recommend it. I can't really fast either, having a high metabolic rate, I barely manage the 30-32 fasts of Ramadan. But I might do it if I have to, after my exams though because I can't risk my academic performance (just 2 exams left anyway)

            with that in mind, don't quote the Hadith on fasting/marriage.

            That's basically it. Ihate myself for getting into this. I used to be pure. I want to return. I relapsed earlier today, after 7 days. That's been my highest in a month or two now. How do I stop falling again and again.... Problems 2+3 are really annoying too. I usually repent each time but I feel like I've gotten complacent.

            I put a app with restrictions to help with 2, trying to put a random password so I can't remove the restrictions, but there's unfortunately a "forgot password" option. My parents suggested listening to Surah Rahman 3 times a day for 21 days, but I couldn't maintain that mainly because exams and also because I've frankly gotten really bored of listening to the same surah over and over again (I know it's translation), astaghfirullah if that's bad for me to say, but it's the truth.

            help!
            I'm losing hope, praying and repenting for the same thing over and over again makes me complacent to it.
            ​​​
            I mean idk if its helpful but why not exhaust your body to the point where all you can do is KO. When i was in my teens and stuff i never ever had the urge to do any of this stuff and thats because whenever i had those moment where id be tempted or anything id do some form of exercise for me it started with 100 pushups then it got to a point where i got really fit and i was doing 300 pushups in different positions additionally situps etc etc. For this to work you're going to have to go to a point where ur body hurts from doing the exercise.

            Exhaust the body so all your mind can think of is sleep. If you wake up in the middle of the night take a cold shower even if its not something you want then get to sleep. Make dua for yourself and for everyone else my brother.

            Comment


            • #7
              Yeah I think I can do that exercise thingy. Only not pushups just me running around like a madman. I do that for fun sometimes, and it does make quite tired. I can push myself too, yeah.
              taking a shower is terrible here because we only have cold water (except on Fridays) and it's winter and I am pretty sensitive to the cold.

              I do make duaa a lot

              Comment


              • #8
                Work out soo much that your legs and arms feel jelly. I used to always push myself in pushup till the point I couldn't move my chest and arms then id just lay in one position and fall fast asleep

                Comment


                • #9
                  This has worked, but what do I do when I'm in the bathroom? I get inticed when taking a shower.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Bolt View Post
                    This has worked, but what do I do when I'm in the bathroom? I get inticed when taking a shower.
                    Allhamdulillah it had worked keep it up you'll be fit ripped and your problem out of the way.

                    Take a shower and make sure its cold it'll kill an desire at that point. The moment a cold droplet hits your spine you'll be running out of the shower no time to think or be tempted.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      But you can't take cold showers in winter! I'll literally get sick.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Bolt View Post
                        But you can't take cold showers in winter! I'll literally get sick.
                        You can! I believe in you! Turn heating on and take a cold shower its what i do. So the shower room is nice and warm but the shower is cold. You can also wash yourself with hot water and then when you're feeling those vibes turn on cold even if its just a quick spray the dramatic change in temperature will shock your body.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          We don't really have a heating but I was thinking of what you said, the quick shock, just wasn't sure if it'd work. Will totally do this for the next time.

                          Ok so the last other area where I find this to be happening is in my sleep. It's not happening as much as it used to but it is pretty demotivating to figure that's how the day started. Any guidelines for this? I was reading aytl kursi before bed and it was working, but it happened again today. 

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Yeah it doesn't need to be a full on cold shower just short bursts are fine.

                            I dont think ayat ul kursi is gunna help i mean make dua for strength and guidance but the resolution is going to be a physical effort in stopping it. As long as you make ur body jelly with working out you'll be fine i dont think you'll be doing anything in your sleep other than getting a good night's sleep.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I will make Dua for that, and will try not to miss cycling bc all this stuff happened bc I skipped cycling yesterday. Day before yesterday it worked I'm not if I was actually feeling like jelly but my legs did feel funny bc I normally don't cycle for that long and was super tired.

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X