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    Power vs love

    :salams

    So I've noticed that people start off fine

    sooner or later it becomes about power and who will submit and obey who. Games are played and neither side likes to admit they care. It's more like if u really loved me u u would be like this. Does it cross over into control?

    i always thought u would help each other become the best version of yourself but I guess u would both need to have the ambition to do this

    Lies are just too frequent amongst people. It makes me feel sick.
    ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
    "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
    :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

    #2
    Re: Power vs love

    Why is this in the void? what's wrong with this thread? I don't get this forum these days.

    OP: people who do things like that are immature
    شَكَوْتُ إلَى وَكِيعٍ سُوءَ حِفْظِي
    فَأرْشَدَنِي إلَى تَرْكِ المعَاصي
    وَأخْبَرَنِي بأَنَّ العِلْمَ نُورٌ
    ونورُ الله لا يهدى لعاصي

    Comment


      #3
      Power vs love

      What I want to know is how you have such deep insight into other people's married lives.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Power vs love

        When you get married you'll be tired. You'll want some rest. It starts off easy because you're settling down but then you reach the stage where you both know each other quite well and expect each other to be more understanding about these things.

        There are more responsibilities and more things to answer for most of the time. It's not always about control, just the lack of consideration for one another.

        If I'm coming back from work and things aren't done then I'd be angry. This doesn't mean I don't love that person or that I'm craving power, it just means we need to compromise and think about the other half. But because marriage and life is all about work, work and more work we don't get good quality family times together anymore.

        Things have changed. Human beings want instant money, instant media, instant everything so when it comes to marriage they want instant love. That hasn't happened in centuries and it will not happen today.

        If you show affection you should get affection. I don't know what kind of control and power you're talking about so I don't think I've answered the question.
        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Power vs love

          Some people bring the best out in each other others bring the worst out in each other
          "If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor."

          "Nothing protects the rights of the minority like the tyranny of the majority"

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Power vs love

            Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
            :salams

            So I've noticed that people start off fine

            sooner or later it becomes about power and who will submit and obey who. Games are played and neither side likes to admit they care. It's more like if u really loved me u u would be like this. Does it cross over into control?

            i always thought u would help each other become the best version of yourself but I guess u would both need to have the ambition to do this

            Lies are just too frequent amongst people. It makes me feel sick.
            You'll be the more dominant one. It just takes time. Let the years pass

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Power vs love

              both.

              the love for power and the power of love

              love to pillage a town of weak human peasants with your gronn hands and the power to do it

              wife ?

              boooooooriiiiiiiiing
              "arm yourself with knowledge and laugh at the accusers"
              me - 2017

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Power vs love

                it doesnt have to be a power struggle.. if its the real thing..
                If you love and respect the other person you won't feel the need to be superior.
                Like now with ur fam/friends who you love.. you never feel the need to act superior infact it feels horrendous and disgusting doing so..
                So it will be the same with a spouse. A good spouse, anyway
                And with Him are the keys of the Ghayb (all that is hidden), none knows them but He. And He knows whatever there is in the land and in the sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. There is not a grain in the darkness of the earth nor anything fresh or dry, but is written in a Clear Record”
                [al-An’aam 6:59]

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Power vs love

                  Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                  What I want to know is how you have such deep insight into other people's married lives.
                  With the modern age technology you don't have to pry for information, its out there for everyone.Technology has utterly destroyed privacy. Don't go far, UF here is an example, good thing we are anonymous. Of course other platforms are far worse.

                  With OP I bet she is a clairvoyant.
                  '' WE LIVE IN AN INTERESTING TIME, WHERE THE 'ILM (KNOWLEDGE) OF A PERSON IS JUDGED BY HOW FAMOUS THE PERSON IS.''


                  - IMAM ANWAR AL 'AWLAQI.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Power vs love

                    Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                    :salams

                    So I've noticed that people start off fine

                    sooner or later it becomes about power and who will submit and obey who. Games are played and neither side likes to admit they care. It's more like if u really loved me u u would be like this. Does it cross over into control?

                    i always thought u would help each other become the best version of yourself but I guess u would both need to have the ambition to do this

                    Lies are just too frequent amongst people. It makes me feel sick.
                    It depends on the individuals. I don't feel this way at all in my own life. We help each other, push each other to do better. How to know how someone is before marriage? I wish I had the answer.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Power vs love

                      Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                      :salams

                      So I've noticed that people start off fine

                      sooner or later it becomes about power and who will submit and obey who. Games are played and neither side likes to admit they care. It's more like if u really loved me u u would be like this. Does it cross over into control?

                      i always thought u would help each other become the best version of yourself but I guess u would both need to have the ambition to do this

                      Lies are just too frequent amongst people. It makes me feel sick.
                      You talking about marriage?

                      We have all sorts of people,

                      From women who have an issue with authority, (can't accept the man as the leader of the household)

                      To the opposite spectrum of those under the thumb of their wives,

                      To those who abuse their authority,

                      If you marry for Deen and character you won't have these problems إِن*شَاءَ اَللّٰه

                      Unfortunately too many people get married for the wrong reasons, and then realise later,
                      http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

                      "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

                      – Imam al-Shafi’i (Rahimahullah)

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Power vs love

                        Originally posted by Rumaysah~ View Post
                        Why is this in the void? what's wrong with this thread? I don't get this forum these days.

                        OP: people who do things like that are immature
                        :jkk: that meant more than u can know and I can't rep u here.
                        ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                        "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                        :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Power vs love

                          Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                          What I want to know is how you have such deep insight into other people's married lives.
                          Cos stoic they tell me

                          who else can they vent to without being judged

                          why is it so hard for two humans to come together
                          ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                          "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                          :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Originally posted by RaNdOm View Post
                            Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                            What I want to know is how you have such deep insight into other people's married lives.
                            Cos stoic they tell me

                            who else can they vent to without being judged

                            why is it so hard for two humans to come together
                            You don't know the whole story.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Power vs love

                              Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                              When you get married you'll be tired. You'll want some rest. It starts off easy because you're settling down but then you reach the stage where you both know each other quite well and expect each other to be more understanding about these things.

                              There are more responsibilities and more things to answer for most of the time. It's not always about control, just the lack of consideration for one another.

                              If I'm coming back from work and things aren't done then I'd be angry. This doesn't mean I don't love that person or that I'm craving power, it just means we need to compromise and think about the other half. But because marriage and life is all about work, work and more work we don't get good quality family times together anymore.

                              Things have changed. Human beings want instant money, instant media, instant everything so when it comes to marriage they want instant love. That hasn't happened in centuries and it will not happen today.

                              If you show affection you should get affection. I don't know what kind of control and power you're talking about so I don't think I've answered the question.
                              beautiful

                              i really thought about this

                              and love can only come with pain because happiness can only exist with sadness

                              rarely are people willing to stick through or 'change' to be more accomodating

                              but loving someone is about accepting them fully. InshaAllah we all have spouses that won't be evil
                              ...And he who fears Allah - He will make for him a way out. [65:3]
                              "Put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust (in Him)."
                              :love: [Al-Imran 3:159] :love:

                              Comment

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