What made you sad today..

[Green786]

Shouting at my loved ones 😔

[cuezed]

Seen a video about ramadan and got very sad that won't be able to pray at masjid 😔

[Green786]

Make dua for the virus to be reduced during Ramadan then we can all go to the mosque 🕌 💜🧕🙏

[Simply_Logical]

really gutted abut something, please make dua that Allah swt grants me it in sha Allah

[cuezed]

found out an intruder broke into my friend's home few days ago at 2 oclock in the night and went into his daughter's room. alhamdulillah his daughter was staying over at her aunt's home that night.

[muslimgirl13]

i hope i'm not overstepping any lines here

is it normal to feel a bit of resentment when you feel Allah SWT just isn't helping you no matter what? i know we are told to stay patient and have faith, but it can get quite frustrating always hearing that when you've been suffering for years and receiving no help from anyone. surely i can't be the only one -- has anyone else ever felt their trials pushing them away from Islam instead of closer to it? or am i just a bad person lol

[Fakhri-bin-Ali]

i hope i'm not overstepping any lines here

is it normal to feel a bit of resentment when you feel Allah SWT just isn't helping you no matter what? i know we are told to stay patient and have faith, but it can get quite frustrating always hearing that when you've been suffering for years and receiving no help from anyone. surely i can't be the only one -- has anyone else ever felt their trials pushing them away from Islam instead of closer to it? or am i just a bad person lol

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah.

If we stick it out during the tough times, young sister, there are better times ahead waiting. It doesn't seem like it a lot of the time when we're in the thick of it and it's all we can see, but it's true.

Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted – let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it. Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease [i.e., relief]. (65:7)




Tafseer - Ibn Katheer

At-Talaq 65:7


لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلااَّ
سَيَجْعَلُ اللَّهُ بَعْدَ عُسْرٍ يُسْرًا



Allah will grant after hardship, ease.

This is a sure promise from Him, and indeed, Allah's promises are true and He never breaks them,

This is an Allah's saying;

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْراً

إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْراً

Verily, along with every hardship is relief. Verily, along with every hardship is relief. (94:5-6)


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Sr muslimgirl13 what we need to do is to keep to at least the basics of what he has asked of us. Those things in themselves give us strength, and if we fall short to keep trying, never losing hope.

[Fakhri-bin-Ali]

Sometimes it may well take years... But we have it in us to go through those years. Just hold on to the hope and keep trying, sister. It took me over a decade to go through what I was going through and where it felt like there was just no way out and no help from anywhere (for some people it's much longer, I know, and for some, less)... but as mentioned above, the promise of Allah Ta'aalaa is a certainty to occur. We just need to not give up.

[muslimgirl13]

Assalamu alaikum warahmatullah.

If we stick it out during the tough times, young sister, there are better times ahead waiting. It doesn't seem like it a lot of the time when we're in the thick of it and it's all we can see, but it's true.

Let a man of wealth spend from his wealth, and he whose provision is restricted – let him spend from what Allah has given him. Allah does not charge a soul except [according to] what He has given it. Allah will bring about, after hardship, ease [i.e., relief]. (65:7)




Tafseer - Ibn Katheer

At-Talaq 65:7


لَا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلااَّ
سَيَجْعَلُ اللَّهُ بَعْدَ عُسْرٍ يُسْرًا



Allah will grant after hardship, ease.

This is a sure promise from Him, and indeed, Allah's promises are true and He never breaks them,

This is an Allah's saying;

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْراً

إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْراً

Verily, along with every hardship is relief. Verily, along with every hardship is relief. (94:5-6)


------------

Sr muslimgirl13 what we need to do is to keep to at least the basics of what he has asked of us. Those things in themselves give us strength, and if we fall short to keep trying, never losing hope.

thank you for not being harsh with me even though i expressed feeling resentment & distancing myself from islam.

brother the thing is i don't really see it getting better because its something thats been happening to me for YEARS. i have lost many years of my childhood & teen years to it, even therapists and mental health counselors have given up on me and told me they felt like they genuinely couldn't help me because it was a very severe case so they kind of gave me up as a client. my family does not associate with me because of it, it has destroyed all my previous relationships (i'm talking like friendship and ties to family, etc), and any possibility of future friendships. i no longer pray, i do the secret habit a lot, and i am extremely disrespectful to my family especially my mother. the other day we were screaming in each others face and she lightly put her hands on me to like push me back a little cuz i was too close so i pushed her back. hard. and she fell.

i feel that every day i tell myself "its ok it will get better", i am losing more and more time of my life. people that have met me now (professionals even), when they find out of my age and how long i've been dealing with this and how it has affected my life even admitted to me they thought i really missed out on a lot in my childhood and teen years. its very depressing.

[Fakhri-bin-Ali]

Sr muslimgirl13, I wanted to PM this with a moderator added but there's no option. I'm sorry to read that, really I am, sister.
I lost all my teenage years through my problems, and also lived virtually in complete seclusion to anyone and everyone, and it felt like there was no way things would ever get better. It feels so long ago now, and back then I genuinely saw no way out. That's how it is when we go through these difficult problems... We see no light at the end of the tunnel.

But there is.

It's normal to feel sadness, bitterness, even anger, frustration, resentment.... But there is only one way they get better, and that is when the our Creator Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa brings about the change and lifts the difficulty.

We really have no other option than to try to fulfil what He wants of us, when we don't and we give up, we make it so much harder for ourselves.

I wanted to ask about the problems a little more specifically but this is public and more than anything, in all honesty, with these being the most important days and nights of the year, Allah Ta'aalaa is the One we need to be calling out to from the depths of our hearts.

Sister, please, take these days to try the utmost to do the right things... Fast, do the prayers, make du'aa at the time of iftar, and at night, before Fajr begins.

Wallahi, He knows every single thought that goes through our minds, every bit of difficulty... It's up to us to talk to Him and admit to Him our wrongdoing, our weakness, to lower ourselves in front of Him and show Him our absolute and utter dependence on Him, then to commit to making effort to correct things with Him.

Sister, just talk to Him in du'aa and express what is in the heart of sadness and worry and frustration, and ask Him to help change those feelings and strength to do what pleases Him... The change will come, maybe not immediately, but it will come.

[aelmo]

I didn't get that job :(

[Bolt]

Living

[neelu]

i hope i'm not overstepping any lines here

is it normal to feel a bit of resentment when you feel Allah SWT just isn't helping you no matter what? i know we are told to stay patient and have faith, but it can get quite frustrating always hearing that when you've been suffering for years and receiving no help from anyone. surely i can't be the only one -- has anyone else ever felt their trials pushing them away from Islam instead of closer to it? or am i just a bad person lol

I don't know the specifics about your personal situation and wont ask as it's probably private and this is still a public forum (even though none of us know who you are IRL), but I'll make a general point in case it's applicable to you. In my experience when going through some of the worst years of my life, there was nothing I hated more than being told "have sabr". I really resented and disliked that "S word". The way it was taught to me and the way it was expressed by most people I knew was this assumption that sabr means "to suffer quietly and wait for it to end patiently". I think people said "have sabr" in that way because as people, they didn't want to hear about my miserable depressing problems so why not tell me to have sabr so that I'd shut up about it. If that had been true, it really would've dented my iman and distanced me from my deen. Those were dark times.

It took me some time to learn that sabr doesn't actually mean patience. It means resilience. It means perseverance. It means striving to keep going in spite of the odds being against you. It means not giving up on hope. It can often mean fighting as well. It can mean answering back the critics and the slanderers. It's not about quietly enduring at all... okay maybe there are circumstances where it does mean that like if you have a terminal diagnosis and there are no other options then the last resort is to accept ones fate and try and get through what little time you have left. But there are other circumstances in which having sabr can mean something completely different. It can mean speaking out. It can mean standing up for yourself. It can mean defending yourself from harm.

Once I understood this- it didn't solve my other life or health problems, but at least it mended the strained relationship i had with my deen and having the deen in itself can equip you with a resilience to fight another day because this time you have Allah (swt) on your side, regardless of what anyone else says or does.

[muslimgirl13]

Sr muslimgirl13, I wanted to PM this with a moderator added but there's no option. I'm sorry to read that, really I am, sister.
I lost all my teenage years through my problems, and also lived virtually in complete seclusion to anyone and everyone, and it felt like there was no way things would ever get better. It feels so long ago now, and back then I genuinely saw no way out. That's how it is when we go through these difficult problems... We see no light at the end of the tunnel.

But there is.

It's normal to feel sadness, bitterness, even anger, frustration, resentment.... But there is only one way they get better, and that is when the our Creator Subhaanahu wa Ta'aalaa brings about the change and lifts the difficulty.

We really have no other option than to try to fulfil what He wants of us, when we don't and we give up, we make it so much harder for ourselves.

I wanted to ask about the problems a little more specifically but this is public and more than anything, in all honesty, with these being the most important days and nights of the year, Allah Ta'aalaa is the One we need to be calling out to from the depths of our hearts.

Sister, please, take these days to try the utmost to do the right things... Fast, do the prayers, make du'aa at the time of iftar, and at night, before Fajr begins.

Wallahi, He knows every single thought that goes through our minds, every bit of difficulty... It's up to us to talk to Him and admit to Him our wrongdoing, our weakness, to lower ourselves in front of Him and show Him our absolute and utter dependence on Him, then to commit to making effort to correct things with Him.

Sister, just talk to Him in du'aa and express what is in the heart of sadness and worry and frustration, and ask Him to help change those feelings and strength to do what pleases Him... The change will come, maybe not immediately, but it will come.

That last bit made me feel so much better. Especially cuz I don't really see things changing. But I know now they will.

Yeah, I am going to try and make the most out of these last days insha'Allah-

[muslimgirl13]

I don't know the specifics about your personal situation and wont ask as it's probably private and this is still a public forum (even though none of us know who you are IRL), but I'll make a general point in case it's applicable to you. In my experience when going through some of the worst years of my life, there was nothing I hated more than being told "have sabr". I really resented and disliked that "S word". The way it was taught to me and the way it was expressed by most people I knew was this assumption that sabr means "to suffer quietly and wait for it to end patiently". I think people said "have sabr" in that way because as people, they didn't want to hear about my miserable depressing problems so why not tell me to have sabr so that I'd shut up about it. If that had been true, it really would've dented my iman and distanced me from my deen. Those were dark times.

It took me some time to learn that sabr doesn't actually mean patience. It means resilience. It means perseverance. It means striving to keep going in spite of the odds being against you. It means not giving up on hope. It can often mean fighting as well. It can mean answering back the critics and the slanderers. It's not about quietly enduring at all... okay maybe there are circumstances where it does mean that like if you have a terminal diagnosis and there are no other options then the last resort is to accept ones fate and try and get through what little time you have left. But there are other circumstances in which having sabr can mean something completely different. It can mean speaking out. It can mean standing up for yourself. It can mean defending yourself from harm.

Once I understood this- it didn't solve my other life or health problems, but at least it mended the strained relationship i had with my deen and having the deen in itself can equip you with a resilience to fight another day because this time you have Allah (swt) on your side, regardless of what anyone else says or does.

I never looked at it that way. I always thought of Sabr as people simply telling me to shut up about my problems and just suck it up & live with it. Hearing your interpretation of it really eased my heart. Yes, I will fight back against those that mistreat me, I don't wanna stay quiet anymore.