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  • Re: What made you sad today..

    It's okay to be sad, we are only human.

    But when doubts come into your mind you will know that's the real sign from Allah it's a battle that you can defeat with tawaqqul

    :jkk:
    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

    Comment


    • Re: What made you sad today..

      Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
      I know it feels frustrating and plenty of muslims are in your shoes waiting, waiting and waiting for their answers, prayers and wishes in life to be accepted. Those duas seem so futile during these moments of anguish.

      But these answers never come. You feel angry and then, all you want is an explanation why this is happening. Why is it that you're not receiving any answers. You know what, nothing or anyone can really put tranquillity in your heart at this moment until you sense some gratitude towards the Almighty first because he has said to his servants to never show him ingratitude. It is only a few that show him gratitude even after hardship. It's mind boggling how a human being is still being thankful to its creator after so much suffering. But these people are our role models.

      Human beings fall and they have to pick themselves up again. Muslim or non muslim. The former has hope the latter is always in confusion without any real answers.

      Take time out. But make dhikr even if you don't feel anything. Sit alone where it is safe, preferable near nature and ponder to reflect about your personal trials. We don't know what they are. But a moment of reflection and silence will remind you that we human beings will die alone and in the end our final destination is to return to our creator and what will WE be answering to him?

      We're looking for answers for nothing but what will we be saying to the creator of the universe that encompasses ALL knowledge, the knowledge that we are unable to comprehend on the day of judgement.

      Of course, I want to know why certain things happen too and why duas don't come true. But no human being can come to our rescue but Allah he is the one that doesn't betray and fail his promises and he promised those that are righteous that there reward will come on the day of judgement. It may feel like a long time but it's not, It will be a day of relief for the righteous ones.

      I'm sure you know all this but it's just a reminder because I don't want you to lose yourself in these thoughts. It's a horrible feeling. Stepping out of that environment for some fresh air can help you to clear your head. Don't let anyone make you lose your faith because most of us face these doubts in our head but this is a chance for us to actually think about life.

      I hope you can put back your trust in Allah soon and whatever trials you face end with a good reward :insha:
      That was very helpful, thank you and everyone else. I've been having a hard time lately because the only Muslim sister that helped me suddenly died and my family and other people found out I was seeing a physiatrist and they've been asking me if I'm crazy and I'm not allowed to go anymore. I constantly feel trapped but I'll try to figure something out, thanks again because it did make me feel better.

      Comment


      • Re: What made you sad today..

        Originally posted by Bint Muaawiya View Post
        What made me sad is Allah is up on his throne but doesn't seem to do anything. I'm tired of being patient and I give up. If he actually existed he would do something for someone that's been making dua for years.
        Audhubillah min ash-shaytan ar-rajeem

        Be very careful. These are arrogant statements, sister. Don't presume to know anything about Allah or His plans. He is not "doing nothing." Audhubillah.

        Comment


        • Re: What made you sad today..

          Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
          Audhubillah min ash-shaytan ar-rajeem

          Be very careful. These are arrogant statements, sister. Don't presume to know anything about Allah or His plans. He is not "doing nothing." Audhubillah.

          You're right. Sometimes I have a strong urge to write what's on my mind but I usually keep everything inside.

          Comment


          • Re: What made you sad today..

            Originally posted by Bint Muaawiya View Post
            That was very helpful, thank you and everyone else. I've been having a hard time lately because the only Muslim sister that helped me suddenly died and my family and other people found out I was seeing a physiatrist and they've been asking me if I'm crazy and I'm not allowed to go anymore. I constantly feel trapped but I'll try to figure something out, thanks again because it did make me feel better.
            You need to see a therapist instead. Are you in the UK? it's free to have a general chat on how to deal with stress, anxiety, depression, low self esteem etc. They can try to give you an idea of how to take practical measures which is similar to what islam gives us as solutions.

            Your family members have to understand that this is harmless and it is your right. You're not doing anything sinful for seeking help.

            Seeing psychiatrists on the other hand isn't something I'd advice due to how they are trained to 'help' you. It's usually done by prescribing you some medicine which has proved to have side effects and once you take it it's basically game over and an even longer battle for you to stop relying on them.

            It's good to talk about things and it's even better if the therapist is muslim. Maybe you can try to find any local places where like minded people join to help one another?

            Unfortunately, nothing in life is easy. If we want solutions we have to make an effort (I say this because tbh sometimes I want my solutions to just come to me lol).

            Change in lifestyle can help too. The food we eat, how we treat our body, the air we breathe, the environment we leave in. All these things can help to improve your situation. How about even writing down how you feel in a diary ? You've probably done this. There are many outlets to get those emotions out but in a safe way to help you. It could be something as simple as painting.

            There are natural prophetic medicines that our rasool :saw: has advised us to take. The Quran itself is a cure because it says in one of the verses the remembrance of Allah puts peace in the heart.
            Last edited by Ya'sin; 27-07-16, 07:42 PM.
            'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

            So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

            Comment


            • What made you sad today..

              Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
              Allah saved me from death...


              I feel really scared, i wasn't ready, I wasn't content...

              الحمد لله for allowing me to live

              For those wondering .. I am ok. It was this male driver that couldn't drive, he could've killed me. He should be banned. I was just shocked from the experience. Khayr in Sha Allah
              إقراء القران فإنه يأتي يوم القيامة شفيعا لأصحابه

              Comment


              • Re: What made you sad today..

                Originally posted by Bint Muaawiya View Post
                You're right. Sometimes I have a strong urge to write what's on my mind but I usually keep everything inside.
                You should know that Allah will not grant you what you made dua for, if He deems it something that is not good for you, or if He has something better for you.

                Comment


                • Re: What made you sad today..

                  Originally posted by Bint Muaawiya View Post
                  What made me sad is Allah is up on his throne but doesn't seem to do anything. I'm tired of being patient and I give up. If he actually existed he would do something for someone that's been making dua for years.
                  No one said life is Ganna be easy.. It's short lived for a while but everything has an end.. We must always believe in Allah Swt and that these tests we face so randomly are to remind us that life is not for living cause it's full of pain but our purpose is to worship him and obey him no matter what. What you're saying is the devils whispers... He whispered something to me a few days ago.. I looked in the mirror and something out of the blue said "look at you.. How sad you've become, no one cares about you, remove your hijab and live life to the full"!! For a second I said "yeah" but retuned to my senses AlhamduliLah. Believe me you're not alone... All we can do is support one another so sister PM me any time you need to chat.. Xx
                  I love you, cherish you and worship you,
                  Guide me on your path to your janna,
                  Unite me beside you My King and all mighty,


                  :love:Allah:love:

                  Comment


                  • Re: What made you sad today..

                    Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                    You need to see a therapist instead. Are you in the UK? it's free to have a general chat on how to deal with stress, anxiety, depression, low self esteem etc. They can try to give you an idea of how to take practical measures which is similar to what islam gives us as solutions.

                    Your family members have to understand that this is harmless and it is your right. You're not doing anything sinful for seeking help.

                    Seeing psychiatrists on the other hand isn't something I'd advice due to how they are trained to 'help' you. It's usually done by prescribing you some medicine which has proved to have side effects and once you take it it's basically game over and an even longer battle for you to stop relying on them.

                    It's good to talk about things and it's even better if the therapist is muslim. Maybe you can try to find any local places where like minded people join to help one another?

                    Unfortunately, nothing in life is easy. If we want solutions we have to make an effort (I say this because tbh sometimes I want my solutions to just come to me lol).

                    Change in lifestyle can help too. The food we eat, how we treat our body, the air we breathe, the environment we leave in. All these things can help to improve your situation. How about even writing down how you feel in a diary ? You've probably done this. There are many outlets to get those emotions out but in a safe way to help you. It could be something as simple as painting.

                    There are natural prophetic medicines that our rasool :saw: has advised us to take. The Quran itself is a cure because it says in one of the verses the remembrance of Allah puts peace in the heart.

                    My insurance only accepts certain places so I don't have many options. The first person I've seen was a imaam and he ended up trying to take advantage of me, basically convinced me to divorce my husband and persuaded my husband to give me my divorce and then dropped me like a hot potato after his wife came back to him and told me to get lost and seek other help. Then I went to see a therapist and after awhile he came closer and closer to comfort me and one day touched me and never went back to him. I usually blame myself for all that anyways, I must give off the vibe that screams touch me and do as you please to me, idk. I then went to see a physiatrist and she's been the best, she was like a therapist for me because she didn't prescribe me any medicine, she just listened and advised me. She thought I needed to find a middle moderate ground in religious because I seemed to go too extreme in practicing or too extreme in not practicing.

                    I guess you're right nothing in life is easy. How would we know how amazing jannah is if we don't have hardship? I'll keep trying.

                    Comment


                    • Re: What made you sad today..

                      Primitive minds, the lack of responsibility people take for their lives, the constant gender related issues in the Asian community, the lack of depth in everyday relationships, the compulsion people have towards maintaining the status quo, the inability to see beyond oneself, the limited interests of those I know, the absolute lack of wonder and joy at seeking more knowledge and... the general apathy I feel towards all of this and the lack of fulfilment others seem to have in their lives and yet enjoy preaching.

                      No, I will not accept things because they are what they are or this is the way everyone else chooses to live. It maybe slightly self-absorbed to think I could revolutionise anything but that would be reading me incorrectly, for that isn't my desire at all. Like Nietzsche, I think meaning in life is something you give it and I find my ideas simply don't match up to the monotony of everyday life or the kind of interaction everyone manages so easily and have no problem with. I don't know, I see life as subtle peaks and valleys full of nuances; I see life as listless gradients, as the first wash across a canvas; I see the way things could be so much better and then I wake up to the environment around me and the constant bleak nature of focusing on all the negatives.

                      In truth, I too exhibit the above to a degree and it is this knowledge that makes me sad.
                      Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
                      O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
                      We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

                      Comment


                      • Re: What made you sad today..

                        Originally posted by Bint Muaawiya View Post
                        My insurance only accepts certain places so I don't have many options. The first person I've seen was a imaam and he ended up trying to take advantage of me, basically convinced me to divorce my husband and persuaded my husband to give me my divorce and then dropped me like a hot potato after his wife came back to him and told me to get lost and seek other help. Then I went to see a therapist and after awhile he came closer and closer to comfort me and one day touched me and never went back to him. I usually blame myself for all that anyways, I must give off the vibe that screams touch me and do as you please to me, idk. I then went to see a physiatrist and she's been the best, she was like a therapist for me because she didn't prescribe me any medicine, she just listened and advised me. She thought I needed to find a middle moderate ground in religious because I seemed to go too extreme in practicing or too extreme in not practicing.

                        I guess you're right nothing in life is easy. How would we know how amazing jannah is if we don't have hardship? I'll keep trying.
                        I see. I'll rep you a website and see if it works or not. Check it out if it does.

                        Tell the psychiatrist that you'd like to avoid the medication for now. I understand that patients that refuse medication are the ones that they pay closer attention to because they think you're indenial with your symptoms/problem.

                        That's disgusting about the male therapist if you think it could go under harassment I'd advice you to report it and ask them to see a female therapist. This incident gives you a better chance of them referring you to one.

                        It's a shame you don't have decent mosques around with a female section and I'm assuming there are no organisations to help women who need some support either?

                        A lot of people make it seem like Islam all doom and gloom. But life in general can be a rollercoaster and Islam comes with its trial as well as its sweetness. It's alright, you are going through a difficult situation and it's only natural to feel agitated. Don't see it as something depressing though because it doesn't have to be always a miserable scenario.

                        Lets get to the root of the problem, the only issue is I have very limited knowledge about marriage. But it sounds like it's your marital relationship that is leading you to feel like this.

                        Do you know any specific duas for marred life?
                        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                        Comment


                        • Re: What made you sad today..

                          Originally posted by Soliloquy View Post
                          Primitive minds, the lack of responsibility people take for their lives, the constant gender related issues in the Asian community, the lack of depth in everyday relationships, the compulsion people have towards maintaining the status quo, the inability to see beyond oneself, the limited interests of those I know, the absolute lack of wonder and joy at seeking more knowledge and... the general apathy I feel towards all of this and the lack of fulfilment others seem to have in their lives and yet enjoy preaching.

                          No, I will not accept things because they are what they are or this is the way everyone else chooses to live. It maybe slightly self-absorbed to think I could revolutionise anything but that would be reading me incorrectly, for that isn't my desire at all. Like Nietzsche, I think meaning in life is something you give it and I find my ideas simply don't match up to the monotony of everyday life or the kind of interaction everyone manages so easily and have no problem with. I don't know, I see life as subtle peaks and valleys full of nuances; I see life as listless gradients, as the first wash across a canvas; I see the way things could be so much better and then I wake up to the environment around me and the constant bleak nature of focusing on all the negatives.

                          In truth, I too exhibit the above to a degree and it is this knowledge that makes me sad.

                          Have you tried being a bimbo for a day? Just a suggestion.

                          Get a hula hoop and rock out. Some muslims seriously need to stop being like this emo boy band. Get out of that formal mode and embrace the wild child within for a bit- just don't go over the limits.
                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                          Comment


                          • Re: What made you sad today..

                            Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                            Have you tried being a bimbo for a day? Just a suggestion.

                            Get a hula hoop and rock out. Some muslims seriously need to stop being like this emo boy band. Get out of that formal mode and embrace the wild child within for a bit- just don't go over the limits.
                            Lol I should have read the OP, I'd not have posted if I had noticed 'Get it out there, so we can all support one another.' I don't enjoy input without providing more context.

                            Nevertheless, I appreciate the advice but I can't act like a 'bimbo'. That's not me, I don't think I could if I tried earnestly; it will not help when I like to be authentic to myself. If what you were implying is that I should do something to bring my mood up when I feel down, let me elaborate. My observations are just that - observations. They're not tied to my feelings, this is simply who I am and have always been. It energises me to ponder over life, where it may drain others; in fact I lack company through whom I can fulfil this need on another level and perhaps that is a more accurate portrayal of my recurring discontent. The negative aspects were what I think about my current environment, so I suppose they cannot be separated completely from my feelings. Equating any of that to 'emo boy band' stems from lack of acknowledging/accepting that people come in a wide range of varieties. It's a healthy practice to take space for one's feelings and analyse them; anything that makes you think and act more coherently helps, I find.

                            Generally speaking, I have numerous interests and since we're on the subject, what I find works most is creating. It doesn't matter if it's drawing, writing, cooking, etc. that you like or maybe you like doing all of that, just completing something tangible can be great for people like me. More general things that help me is reading and listening to lectures or something, focusing/immersing elsewhere, having a good belly laugh and working out.
                            Ya Muqallib al-Quloob, thabbit qalbi 'alaa Deenik
                            O' Converter of Hearts, make my heart steadfast upon Thy Way
                            We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.

                            Comment


                            • Re: What made you sad today..

                              Originally posted by iRepIslam View Post
                              For those wondering .. I am ok. It was this male driver that couldn't drive, he could've killed me. He should be banned. I was just shocked from the experience. Khayr in Sha Allah
                              You were in a car accident?



                              "The `Aalim knows who is a Jaahil, because he used to be a Jaahil before. But the Jaahil does not know who is an `Aalim, because he was never an `Aalim before."


                              Imaam Ibn Taymiyyah Rahimahullaah in Majmoo`ul Fataawaa.


                              Comment


                              • Re: What made you sad today..

                                Originally posted by Soliloquy View Post
                                Lol I should have read the OP, I'd not have posted if I had noticed 'Get it out there, so we can all support one another.' I don't enjoy input without providing more context.

                                Nevertheless, I appreciate the advice but I can't act like a 'bimbo'. That's not me, I don't think I could if I tried earnestly; it will not help when I like to be authentic to myself. If what you were implying is that I should do something to bring my mood up when I feel down, let me elaborate. My observations are just that - observations. They're not tied to my feelings, this is simply who I am and have always been. It energises me to ponder over life, where it may drain others; in fact I lack company through whom I can fulfil this need on another level and perhaps that is a more accurate portrayal of my recurring discontent. The negative aspects were what I think about my current environment, so I suppose they cannot be separated completely from my feelings. Equating any of that to 'emo boy band' stems from lack of acknowledging/accepting that people come in a wide range of varieties. It's a healthy practice to take space for one's feelings and analyse them; anything that makes you think and act more coherently helps, I find.

                                Generally speaking, I have numerous interests and since we're on the subject, what I find works most is creating. It doesn't matter if it's drawing, writing, cooking, etc. that you like or maybe you like doing all of that, just completing something tangible can be great for people like me. More general things that help me is reading and listening to lectures or something, focusing/immersing elsewhere, having a good belly laugh and working out.
                                I didn't notice the OP either actually. Usually people just post there thoughts and sometimes you'll get responses.

                                I understand people have different personalities and therefore different feelings towards different things in life.

                                The boy band comment is simply my opinion about serious people who rarely laugh but are very intellectual and they always over analyse things. Every little thing has to be dissected into an assignment. Nothing wrong with that, that's what makes them who they are. I can't change them, but I'd love to see them to be informal for once and get out of that working mode.

                                Being a bimbo can be interpreted in many ways. For me it's like saying put your hair down and relax. Let go of reality for a bit without compromising on your duties.

                                Maybe another halal option would be to give them an overdoes of sweets and see if they get hyper or not. I think being productive is an achievement for anyone and I'd like to think most people feel like that too. Whether its creating something or assiting another human being. As long as it is doing something that makes you positive.

                                Wanting deep discussions about certain observations is satisfying at times. I'm not disagreeing with anything you are saying especially about analysing. It's what we're supposed to do, it can also be called self refelection.
                                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                                Comment

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