Random thread v4

[Faith reloaded 2]

just ask

are you interested in moving forward

if not, kick him to the curb as that UF user used to say in every other post



cba with time wasters you get me

[Ya'sin]

[neelu]

Oops the lower half of this post has gone off on a tangent. My main point was, I worry that there are guys out there who can 'smell' desperation in a woman. I worry that your insistence on waiting for someone who is kinda doing something disrespecful means you keep displaying behaviours showing guys that "I will tolerate disrespect- please marry me" and that will end up attracting the wrong sort of people such as your ex husband.

Setting boundaries and politely saying it's not appropriate to delay responses for so long will NEVER in a hundred million years scare away a decent, respectful person EVER. Ask any decent respectable man you know and he'll tell you. I'm not saying kick anyone to the kerb over the slightest infractions. I'm saying setting boundaries will actually help weed out the time wasters and wrong people and prevent you from repeating the same mistakes of your first marriage that your parents seem hell bent on repeating. Sorry, I know no one likes to hear a person say negative things about parents but it has to be said.

Your marriage search should not be a means of going round in circles repeating the exact same mistakes that were made the first time round. Maybe your parents don't quite get that but you do- so don't allow them to bully you into repeating them cos if that happens, they'll never say afterwards "oh my dear daughter, I'm so sorry we got it wrong a second time"- they're more likely to berate you for "not being able to hold down a marriage" and "becoming a burden". You've got enough problems without adding that problem on top of it.

going to edit this post

So much wrong with your situation. First thing that's wrong is how much your parents are harassing you about this- though sadly this is extremely common. I'm sure there's a high number of older women with mental health problems in our community from the constant drip feed of torture due to not being married or being married and not being able to have kids or that sort of thing. The actual not being married or not having kids thing is not ideal but it's not the end of the world and many of us could live with that- it's the mental torture and harassment by 'well meaning' family, extended relatives, acquaintances (cos real friends would know better) and the constant microaggressions that are enough to break people.

We've all heard that joke: aunties keep poking me at weddings saying "you're next"- they stopped doing it after I did the same to them at funerals.

Most of us are too polite to respond like that but the joke is shared everywhere cos it resonates that much that so many of us are sick of the annoying questions and the excuse that they mean well really wears thin after a while. It's a microaggression (the older you get the less 'micro' the aggression and pressure is) masquerading as concern. You either tolerate the mental abuse on a permanent basis or you draw a firm line and get labelled as the bad girl with no manners- this is why you get girls who end up rebelling.

[Ya'sin]

neelu

The aunty and your next at funerals



That is brilliant, made me laugh

[Ya'sin]

[Ya'sin]

I thought it was a south Asian thing to berate women for being 'old', single and childless but it is international

International love

[MyUsernameIs...]

Women also get berated for getting married and tying themselves down to kids instead of 'making something of themselves' and throwing their lives away.

There's no win for us

[MyUsernameIs...]

Does anyone own a sunrise simulation alarm clock or just a sunlight simulator.
How beneficial do you find them compared to just an alarm?

I'm considering purchasing one as I'm struggling more than ever to wake up early.

[Ya'sin]

Women also get berated for getting married and tying themselves down to kids instead of 'making something of themselves' and throwing their lives away.

There's no win for us

Yep That's already happened to me as a single person so minus the kids

If you work you're a cow
If you don't work your a cow
If you don't do either you'restill a cow

like someone said to me, the takdeer of a woman is the same as that of a cattle

[Ya'sin]

Does anyone own a sunrise simulation alarm clock or just a sunlight simulator.
How beneficial do you find them compared to just an alarm?

I'm considering purchasing one as I'm struggling more than ever to wake up early.

A lady I used to work with said it's helpful as it slowly wakes her up rather than it being a shock
someone else I knew also liked it

I was going to get one for myself but it's too expensive

[Faith reloaded 2]

Women also get berated for getting married and tying themselves down to kids instead of 'making something of themselves' and throwing their lives away.

There's no win for us

You need to do both

1) job

2) marriage/kids

Doesnt have to be either/or

they dont have to be mutually exclusive ygm

[Faith reloaded 2]

Im free

no work for almost 1 month

partayyyy time

[Faith reloaded 2]

Well you gotta be careful ygm

how much is it that you actually want to pursue a genuine marriage with this dude

vs

how much do you see this as more of an opportunity to get your parents off your back

what did he say when you asked

cos his words may be one thing but his actions are saying another

[Faith reloaded 2]

u know what to do

Kick him to the kerb

[Ya'sin]

You need to do both

1) job

2) marriage/kids

Doesnt have to be either/or

they dont have to be mutually exclusive ygm

Basically women are worthless if they don't have either of those
It's made out to be that our purpose in life is to marry and have kids

which is ok but if someone can't get married they shouldn't be treated unfairly