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  • Faith reloaded 2
    replied
    Champ. Intelligent. Articulate. Confident. Charming. Eloquent.

    A man of many talents indeed.

    Leave a comment:


  • Faith reloaded 2
    replied

    Leave a comment:


  • neelu
    replied
    When I first heard news about the Norway bow and arrow attack, it was like:

    News reporter: Authorities are still trying to ascertain whether this is a terrorist attack or not

    Me: Bow and arrows is sooooooo white man that this was definitely done by a gora. Which means they're trying to figure out whether he might be Muslim or not so they can blame all of us

    Ohhhh how convenient, now it's apparently our fault!

    Leave a comment:


  • Faith reloaded 2
    replied
    Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post
    why must peeps at work keep bangin on about:

    my girlfriend this
    my husband that
    my wife this
    My kids that

    n im like…. Soz, i dont care and i cant relate cos i dont have any of the relationships above
    It’s somethin i have realised over the 6 or so jobs i have had now

    it’s a common theme with all of em

    these folks keep harpin on about their wife n kids n gilfriends n civil partners n the rest of it

    give it a rest will ya mate

    cos i aint interested

    Leave a comment:


  • Faith reloaded 2
    replied
    why must peeps at work keep bangin on about:

    my girlfriend this
    my husband that
    my wife this
    My kids that

    n im like…. Soz, i dont care and i cant relate cos i dont have any of the relationships above

    Leave a comment:


  • Faith reloaded 2
    replied
    Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

    About the haram/halal, I'd say its a grey area, this is why I'm torn between it, or else I would've said no. Its going to be in a public setting, not in crowds, maybe you can say its freemixing so its wrong. I've said no to the bars, pubs, clubs, anything with close interactions with women. When they invited me in class, I responded that I'd get back to them, and they got upset and said "why do I even bother inviting you if you'll never come".

    But why I'm trying to interact with them beyond the classroom, is because I need to maintain the relationship with them, so they don't leave me out. I've said before how our class is really small, we have to rely on each other for many things, and we'll be together for at least 2 years. In my personal experience its happened many times when I'm put in a group, especially if the rest of them are all girls, and I try not to get too close to them, then I'll be ignored, they'll meet without me and maybe only fill me in after, or most of the time not at all, then when it comes to my part of the work I'm left not knowing whats going on, when I ask help from them they'll see me as a burden and a freeloader who doesn't contribute to the group.

    I can't say how exactly it is for the sisters, but for us brothers it seems like its harder to get the message across that we have boundaries due to our values, its always just assumed that we're anti social and shy, even if we explain to them. Its also harder to explain it to them if you're unmarried without sounding like a misogynist creep, if you're married you can say 'I respect my wife, only she can touch me' and people will think its cute, if you're single theres almost no way to explain it without offending someone or starting a debate.
    Well….

    How was the fine dining

    what did you eat

    what were the gals sayin

    Leave a comment:


  • usernametaken
    replied
    Insha Allah for the future attempts
    there will always be these issues especially if there’s a moment where you have to wear same clothes as people around you and don’t have as much choice. But on a personal level at least I can do something

    Leave a comment:


  • usernametaken
    replied
    ‘Resolution’: to wear
    if worn again in future will have time to buy something like a fluffy scarf over arms for coverage.

    At least this way I am still working towards going upwards in hijab.

    Leave a comment:


  • usernametaken
    replied
    Getting shouted at for complaining

    Leave a comment:


  • usernametaken
    replied
    In other words, the ‘dangers’ of when you try to do something on your own, and try to have high iman, you mess up and some point, spiritually your heart is weakened, but you try to stick to the high ideals, what happens is a while unrespectable mess of contradictions where you confuse other people.

    Slightly exaggerated.

    kind of don’t want to think about things that stress me
    out like that
    still stressed because I stubbornly care

    Leave a comment:


  • usernametaken
    replied
    I don’t really have much time to find everything so need ideas
    It’s as if trying so hard to do what Islam says compared to most people in this area has messed with my head or perception of dressing my and how to look at it in the current society or how I am viewed. When in reality most people just see someone dressed modestly, but my head is like non mehrams see you and it’s ashram which is true, but I just want to feel comfortable and not make things more awkward for myself. Clearly I’m not doing something right to be this exhausted from it. Obviously not saying it is Islam, but my implementation on a personal level, the fact that I decided to do these things on my own, maybe I tried to do something I can’t, because everyone who does as told by their relatives to dress don’t stress lol.

    Leave a comment:


  • usernametaken
    replied
    Can’t like my mental health can be affected by stuff like this. If I went comfortable with how I currently plan to wear it I will feel like I’m dressed well, not as much as everyone else but at least there’s nothing to criticise from myself, it will be socially acceptable and on point. I’m thinking of doing that tbh as long as my intentions are there I can’t keep doing this. That’s how I feel. I’ve tried a lot.

    Leave a comment:


  • usernametaken
    replied
    Why is it normalised for sisters to wear maxi dresses with belts or that show the shape of the hips.

    It’s really hard to find a good outfit that goes with the Islamic requirements and usually even if I find a good one it gets ruined if I try to make it hijabified.

    and I don’t know a single sister who understand or validates what I’m saying. They don’t even feel that it’s wrong and I almost ‘envy’ that.

    because the amount of issues this has caused me is significant and even though my iman is low I still stick to this. So I wonder why so caught on this. Extremely invalidating.

    and then I feel guilty for when I get help to find an outfit and it’s fine, then my family members stress because I don’t accept it and say I think this needs a jumper or something. They see my low iman I’m the worst.

    im currently in a dilemma. Because of what Islam says I don’t feel comfortable otherwise I would be fine, and my social anxiety would be less because I am doing what’s socially acceptable. But instead I will either make my outfit look awkward, act awkward, get seen as unsophisticated because I couldn’t just decide on something, like some sisters just stick to good quality abayas and look ‘fashionable’ ‘enough’, and I’m getting tired of compromising so much where I haven’t been able to develop my sense of style, which affects my sense of identity, because it’s not that complicated but it does become that way when you are doing all this yourself.

    anyways, sisters any advice on how you can make a maxi dress still look nice while covering the hip/back area. Don’t care if this thread is not about hijab, it’s just a simple question. The dress is ok otherwise but if I add a jumper right now, it will ruin the whole look and will make the whole thing a mess.

    Leave a comment:


  • neelu
    replied
    Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

    I can't say how exactly it is for the sisters, but for us brothers it seems like its harder to get the message across that we have boundaries due to our values, its always just assumed that we're anti social and shy, even if we explain to them. Its also harder to explain it to them if you're unmarried without sounding like a misogynist creep, if you're married you can say 'I respect my wife, only she can touch me' and people will think its cute, if you're single theres almost no way to explain it without offending someone or starting a debate.
    ^If I were in that situation, I'd invite them myself. I'd say can we meet up in the library or such and such cafe to discuss this? You have to meet up for work/study reasons anyway so if you take the initiative in doing it then they can get together in a place that isn't the pub.

    Leave a comment:


  • Mufti Cheesecake
    replied
    Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post

    ok take this with a pinch of salt cos this is just my opinion. And im no faqih, so i wont comment if this is halal/haram

    You know what to do, mufti. Screw them like you screwed them many times before. Make it clear you want nothing to do with them looool.

    I would feel very uncomfortable going out dining in a mixed group, let alone buying birthday presents for strange women. It’s an uncomfortable situation. But at the end of the day, I just wouldn’t go, it doesn’t sit right with me. The most I would do is simply thank them for the invite and wish them a good birthday. I’m sure they would be drinking all sorts at the restaurant too

    I wouldn’t care too much about what people think.

    Why should your interactions with these women go beyond the classroom? They are just people in your same class, not your friends or people you spend time with in leisure

    I think theres a fine line between being nice and compromising on your values
    About the haram/halal, I'd say its a grey area, this is why I'm torn between it, or else I would've said no. Its going to be in a public setting, not in crowds, maybe you can say its freemixing so its wrong. I've said no to the bars, pubs, clubs, anything with close interactions with women. When they invited me in class, I responded that I'd get back to them, and they got upset and said "why do I even bother inviting you if you'll never come".

    But why I'm trying to interact with them beyond the classroom, is because I need to maintain the relationship with them, so they don't leave me out. I've said before how our class is really small, we have to rely on each other for many things, and we'll be together for at least 2 years. In my personal experience its happened many times when I'm put in a group, especially if the rest of them are all girls, and I try not to get too close to them, then I'll be ignored, they'll meet without me and maybe only fill me in after, or most of the time not at all, then when it comes to my part of the work I'm left not knowing whats going on, when I ask help from them they'll see me as a burden and a freeloader who doesn't contribute to the group.

    I can't say how exactly it is for the sisters, but for us brothers it seems like its harder to get the message across that we have boundaries due to our values, its always just assumed that we're anti social and shy, even if we explain to them. Its also harder to explain it to them if you're unmarried without sounding like a misogynist creep, if you're married you can say 'I respect my wife, only she can touch me' and people will think its cute, if you're single theres almost no way to explain it without offending someone or starting a debate.

    Leave a comment:

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