Random thread V3

[neelu]

🤨

easier said then done.

I don’t want to do anything tbh and I don’t want to waste time learning something else. I don’t have the luxury of being able to change my profession or have options to work somewhere else. I apologize for the passive aggressiveness but that’s the reality of my sad life.

when I was younger my only plans were to move to Alaska away from all humans so I can be completely alone. I don’t know about living in America now but I still have the same plan of eventually living in some secluded area all alone. But that takes money so here I am ☹️

Might be worth looking into the tiny house movement. People live in little trailer size houses but they've very pretty, meet all their needs and are far cheaper than bricks and mortar properties. Another alternative would be an RV. Something with solar panels that can go off grid. Take a look at some of the youtube channels about this. The main precaution you'd need though is security: security from wild animals if you're in the wilderness, security from criminals who think a lone woman is an easy target, security in terms of ensuring your home doesn't get stolen. The tricky bit is finding a good water and utilities supplier (and ideally internet) in the middle of nowhere and getting permission to live on the land (or purchasing land as you'd only need a tiny plot).

[neelu]

Imams may know a thing or two about islam

But if they are not up to speed on their science, they shouldn’t speak about it

Recently, during jumuah, imam saab started talking about nutrition, health etc. and then he said that we all have cancer…

Which is obviously false

There is a big difference in having cells that have the propensity to become cancerous compared to saying we all have cancer in our bodies

Perhaps it was just a bad case of wording but you knew what you were talking about. But subtle changes in language can cause a huge difference meaning and Now you have given x amount of people misinformation, many of whom would have believed whatever you said

I used to know an American Muslimah on facebook and she once told me that an imam said to her that most Americans are overweight due to Prader Willi syndrome. I've seen a documentary on this condition and it is definitely NOT what most Americans have. It's a display of a shocking level of ignorance. This is why I keep saying when people come to the forum about marital problems I NEVER advise them to speak to an imam as there may be good ones out there but there are also incredibly clueless ones as well who'd just make matters worse.

[aa_]

I’ve went in the direction of becoming more religious. I haven’t chased after women, but I know friends who do, and it just seems like you’re chasing after something that isn’t there most of the time - and that resulting frustration can be better channelled into something more healthy (mentally, spiritually) to me. Same with alcohol and marijuana. I see all these things (women, alcohol & any drug benign and hard) as toxins now honestly.

My puzzlement stems from reading a study somewhere that people who drink alcohol moderately live longer than non-drinkers and heavy drinkers, and that non-drinkers are usually high-strung about other things that might cut into their life span. Another theory is that those who don’t drink do it out of health concerns and moderate drinkers can afford it since are in excellent health from lifestyle. What am I supposed to make of this information? Are we, as Muslims, high-strung about life whereas the non-Muslims are relaxed? And they’re in better health as result? Our God forbade us from many ‘harmful’ things, but is moderation in these things better than total abstinence (knowing the risks)? And would that same line of thinking go for other things too, like pre-marital relationships, drugs?

[Abu 'Abdullaah]

I’ve went in the direction of becoming more religious. I haven’t chased after women, but I know friends who do, and it just seems like you’re chasing after something that isn’t there most of the time - and that resulting frustration can be better channelled into something more healthy (mentally, spiritually) to me. Same with alcohol and marijuana. I see all these things (women, alcohol & any drug benign and hard) as toxins now honestly.

My puzzlement stems from reading a study somewhere that people who drink alcohol moderately live longer than non-drinkers and heavy drinkers, and that non-drinkers are usually high-strung about other things that might cut into their life span. Another theory is that those who don’t drink do it out of health concerns and moderate drinkers can afford it since are in excellent health from lifestyle. What am I supposed to make of this information? Are we, as Muslims, high-strung about life whereas the non-Muslims are relaxed? And they’re in better health as result? Our God forbade us from many ‘harmful’ things, but is moderation in these things better than total abstinence (knowing the risks)? And would that same line of thinking go for other things too, like pre-marital relationships, drugs?

That'll be the booze talking. Come back when you're sober.

[aa_]

That'll be the booze talking. Come back when you're sober.

Sober thoughts. But if I was, I think there is too much coherence here to rule that.

[Mufti Cheesecake]

My puzzlement stems from reading a study somewhere that people who drink alcohol moderately live longer than non-drinkers and heavy drinkers, and that non-drinkers are usually high-strung about other things that might cut into their life span. Another theory is that those who don’t drink do it out of health concerns and moderate drinkers can afford it since are in excellent health from lifestyle. What am I supposed to make of this information? Are we, as Muslims, high-strung about life whereas the non-Muslims are relaxed? And they’re in better health as result? Our God forbade us from many ‘harmful’ things, but is moderation in these things better than total abstinence (knowing the risks)? And would that same line of thinking go for other things too, like pre-marital relationships, drugs?

Allah(SWT) answers this in the Quran (2:219):

They ask you about wine (khamr) and gambling. Say, "In them is great sin and [yet, some] benefit for people. But their sin is greater than their benefit."

i.e. yes there are benefits, health benefits, cultural benefits, etc., but it causes more harm than benefits. And thats what we see in societies where alcohol is everywhere. Look at how many people throw their lives away because of it, how many cases of children born out of wedlock involve alcohol, how many crimes involve alcohol, how many deaths involve alcohol. Alcohol brings a net negative to society, sure maybe you could be a moderate drinker, but no one knows if they are until they get into it. Allah tells us this is not a fire we should be playing with.

[Stoic Believer]

I’ve went in the direction of becoming more religious. I haven’t chased after women, but I know friends who do, and it just seems like you’re chasing after something that isn’t there most of the time - and that resulting frustration can be better channelled into something more healthy (mentally, spiritually) to me. Same with alcohol and marijuana. I see all these things (women, alcohol & any drug benign and hard) as toxins now honestly.

My puzzlement stems from reading a study somewhere that people who drink alcohol moderately live longer than non-drinkers and heavy drinkers, and that non-drinkers are usually high-strung about other things that might cut into their life span. Another theory is that those who don’t drink do it out of health concerns and moderate drinkers can afford it since are in excellent health from lifestyle. What am I supposed to make of this information? Are we, as Muslims, high-strung about life whereas the non-Muslims are relaxed? And they’re in better health as result? Our God forbade us from many ‘harmful’ things, but is moderation in these things better than total abstinence (knowing the risks)? And would that same line of thinking go for other things too, like pre-marital relationships, drugs?

From one study you draw a number of conclusions that just so happen to coincide with and reinforce your pre-existing sentiments.

[Faith reloaded 2]

Miss my old job dearly, even though i didnt have too much of an interest in my specific line of work

The people, the culture, the work we do as an organisation, even the way the IT systems and applications were set up. My line manager was so easy to work with

this new place is too tight with security. Laptops are locked down with bitlocker, i cant use my email, skype or teams on my personal laptop etc

this is frustrating, still have an element of regret for leaving that great organisation

i will have to see how this goes

[Eorlingas]

From one study you draw a number of conclusions that just so happen to coincide with and reinforce your pre-existing sentiments.

Confirmation bias. You see that a lot, particularly among those looking for an excuse not to get married, often coupled with self serving bias.

[Eorlingas]

Miss my old job dearly, even though i didnt have too much of an interest in my specific line of work

The people, the culture, the work we do as an organisation, even the way the IT systems and applications were set up. My line manager was so easy to work with

this new place is too tight with security. Laptops are locked down with bitlocker, i cant use my email, skype or teams on my personal laptop etc

this is frustrating, still have an element of regret for leaving that great organisation

i will have to see how this goes

[Eorlingas]

[Al-Mualim]

Faith reloaded 2

[aelmo]

Might be worth looking into the tiny house movement. People live in little trailer size houses but they've very pretty, meet all their needs and are far cheaper than bricks and mortar properties. Another alternative would be an RV. Something with solar panels that can go off grid. Take a look at some of the youtube channels about this. The main precaution you'd need though is security: security from wild animals if you're in the wilderness, security from criminals who think a lone woman is an easy target, security in terms of ensuring your home doesn't get stolen. The tricky bit is finding a good water and utilities supplier (and ideally internet) in the middle of nowhere and getting permission to live on the land (or purchasing land as you'd only need a tiny plot).

Lol thank you but I probably won’t end up doing that either 😔

and those tiny houses aren’t super cheap either unless you get a fixer upper. Even though I think it would be pretty creepy living in the woods, it’s the vibe I am looking for in my life. My grandparents have a forest on their land and it’s just really nice to go around it. My grandpa is too old to maintain the woods but I kind of like walking through the thicket.

I’m just gonna move to turkey eventually. Property is very cheap there. Or I’ll go some place like it. Who knows really but I like having a vague goal.

[.Hajar.]

Saw a post today that I wanted to rep like seriously and I got a little annoyed that we couldn't rep anymore..gah..

[Faith reloaded 2]

Oh man….

I miss my old so very, very badly

Is this what a divorce feels like