Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Random thread V3

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post
    I didnt choose the bachelor life

    the bachelor life chose me

    aint that right kiro
    No faithy, once one dawns the cloak, it's forever part of them
    https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

    Ephemeral reader

    Comment


    • Originally posted by Kiro View Post

      Al Salamu alaykum Hasan
      Walaikum salam bro, it's been so long.

      Comment


      • Originally posted by neelu View Post
        Be careful about doing that. If he complains and you don't apologise, you could be fired. A few weeks ago I saw a contestant on TV and he was referred to as "they" as well- he was such an obvious freak as well. Media have played a MASSIVE role in pushing this nonsense. It's quite shocking how much society has dived into that rabbit hole. It's the one issue I agree with right wingers about.


        Look at this neelu

        even samsung are trying it

        Comment


        • Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post

          Look at this neelu

          even samsung are trying it
          Forgot to paste the link mate

          https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-60078515.amp

          Comment


          • Remember that lady who i thought was a hindu bjp girl but it turned out she was pakistani

            And how i thought she was no good cos her accent was no good

            Well hush my mouth son

            She has a PhD and giving me mentoring. She is schooling me

            pfft

            Comment


            • Everywhere is trying it on. At least in this case the ad was taken down cos of public pressure. I think because it's an Asian brand putting an ad in Singapore (where sodomy is still illegal), it was an easier decision to take down the ad. If it were a western brand in a western country, they would not give two hoots about how many Muslim complaints they got (the charlie hebdo cartoons are a case in point).

              One other thing, Biden threatened Nigeria that if they don't change their laws to be more favourable to LGBT, then they wont get aid from the US. So this is how blatant they are in forcing the enforcement of their values on Muslim lands. Pakistani rulers already grovel at the feet of America so they are complying with all this, much to the anger and annoyance of the general public. This is being pushed wherever you turn. I think the main place where LGBT is not tolerated at all would be Russia and former Soviet nations such as Eastern Europe. They aren't as influenced by the west and Russia isn't as easily intimidated by the West.

              Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post
              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

              Comment


              • I'm struggling to keep with the deen. To shorten the story, at my work place I am surrounded by people who value look so greatly. That woman supposed to look nice, with their face, but also have, and "seen to have" curves. That the value of woman is based on how many men are attracted both physically to her and her friendliness (smile, little hehe and stuff). And that life is easier when you have more money, you can buy the things you want, either to just entertain yourself, or to go to vacation, adorn yourself, have more status etc.

                I've always been struggling to find the meaning of life. And since I learn this deen little by little I became conscious of life and what it really means. That the only thing that will matter at the end of the day is whether or not our creator is pleased with us on the day of judgement. So I tried to do the things, make my salah, be nice to my parents, dress modestly, and not trying to seek the attention of opposite sex by my look or attitude. It's not easy to do all those constantly. I used to beat myself up for messing up but then I understand that we are no angel and we can't do things perfectly. But Allah knows our struggle.

                But living with these kinda people is making it to be more difficult since it has influenced my subconscious. Hearing their conversation and seeing their attitude towards life and how they define the worth of somebody, I would feel like my value is less. Worse, I didn't even realize it at first that these things influence me in this way. I would just be lazy and reluctant to do stuff and actually put the effort to make my life better in a good way because of these negative feelings. In the past I just wanted to go to sleep or watch stuff to make me forget about how bad I feel about myself. Lot of time, sooner or later, I will find my way back again to Allah. I don't know how would I be if Allah don't grant me understanding and realization upon this situation of mine.

                I realize also that this struggle has been going on for a while. And that I would have different reaction to it in different stages of where I am in life. Even though it's already crystal clear in the Qur'an Surah Al Hadid 20. I listened to a lecture explaining about that ayah and it's already clear. I also realize that most of the time it is that ayah that drags me back to the deen when I'm facing this problem.

                But sometime, and this is what makes it to be more problematic, when my feeling is so negative, I am so reluctant to resort to the deen, to the book of Qur'an. I just feel like "Life sucks. I don't wanna give a damn thing about anything. Whatever" then just being careless. But then what would pull me back from that heedlessness would be that, I am so blessed with everything in life and that there are many people that don't have what I have (healthy and supportive parents, a paying job that I actually enjoy doing, a good relationship with sibling, comfortable shelter, good food, even clean water, etc). And I would feel guilty for people who experienced loss, abuse, toxic friends, difficulty in finding a job, etc. I feel so ungrateful. And. Yeah. I just keep finding myself stuck in these loop of situation I guess.

                Comment


                • arifahze sorry to hear this. Other people's attitude can have a massive affect. I remember when my colleague got married to a very handsome successful guy and I was surprised, glad for her a d didn't think about it much. After sitting with someone who is always looking and comparing with what other people have - having her overreact and be blatantly jealous and commiserate over how good looking he is- I found myself unable to contain my sadness and jealousy (which wasn't even there before!) I cried on my lunch break. People can drag you into a pit if you aren't wary.

                  Since you're around them so much at work maybe you can keep your relationship friendly but strictly professional and distant? Dont share break times where you have to chat...do something else, be chatty about the job to show friendliness but not too much about personal stuff. Join an islamic circle that you can go to regularly (I haven't done that because they tend to be at times where its harder for me) or now there are zoom circles, listen to lectures on lunch breaks. .not strictly...just some of the time. Just removing the negative influence can make to see clearly again.

                  Comment


                  • Arifahze, if it makes you feel better, I ALWAYS get rejected, I'm not exaggerating, I wish I had a record to show you. I hope it helps with your confidence.

                    Since my early twenties and now I'm in my early thirties and same story so it doesn't actually surprise me when someone sees me and says no. I'm used to it, sometimes I question it but it is what it is.

                    It's better to not fixate on these things but I understand it can be harder when you're surrounded by people who are vain and put importance on fleeting things that don't offer real value or meaning to our lives. Looks do matter when it comes to marriage but there's no point of wasting energy on it, instead embrace and seek the beauty in what you have been given.

                    There are people who see religion as a chore, a burden, a restriction and a punishment, they struggle with seeking comfort in the Qur'an or in the remembrance of Allah because they're idol is something else and that idol doesn't have to be a living being. It can be a material things that we put importance on.

                    The less you care about what people say, the better.

                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                    • ^That rejection must be hard Ya'sin. I remember when I was looking for work and kept being rejected for jobs again and again and this went on for a couple of years. It was disheartening and really dented my self esteem and my view of my self worth. Looking back, it seems silly to take it so personally or see it as a reflection of my self worth, but emotions don't follow logic. I can't imagine how it would feel to be rejected as a life partner again and again- it must be awful. One thing I do remember though is that when it comes to rishta searching in our 20s, there was only a finite amount of it that me and didi could do. I mean we'd try for a number of months and then it's like time and time again when you meet unsuitable people or things don't work out, it made us fed up of even trying and it becomes emotionally draining that eventually you HAVE TO take a break.

                      I remember when didi decided to move to Japan and my mum complained to her that what about finding a husband cos you wont find anyone there and she said I haven't been able to find anyone here in England all these years either and didi came to the conclusion that if Allah (swt) means for it to happen, it'll happen regardless of where I am and I can't put my life on hold for what may or may not happen. It was while she was in Japan that she met her husband online so she had a point (they're divorced now but that's not the point).

                      I haven't been rejected for my looks but I have been rejected cos of my disability and found that disheartening as well. I went through a phase about 8 years ago when I decided I should look for someone to marry in spite of the disability and shouldn't just wait until I recover cos I might never recover. I asked around the people I knew to keep a look out for men looking to marry etc but nothing ever worked out. Eventually I had to just stop looking cos it became painful to try and that was when I knew I had to stop. It's not that I've completely given up hope (it's more like a fantasy than a hope tbh) of ever getting married, but I'm not actively going round asking anymore. I now have the attitude that people know where to find me if they're interested but I'm not really holding my breath- if it happens it happens and if not, then it wasn't meant to be.
                      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                      Comment


                      • neelu

                        It is tough and I take breaks otherwise I'll go crazy (I don't tell my parents because they won't be able to understand why I need a break). Energy draining and the men I have to talk to make it harder for me to keep hope.
                        ​​
                        off putting to come across indecisive, dependent guys that rely on their mums to make choices for them, on top of that, men that don't like sharing why they got divorced. I have a right to know.... I don't want another mistake. If they don't want to say they can stop then and there.

                        I can't get over how difficult it is to find a man, an actual man. One that knows how to wear his trousers properly. Some women want a man on a leash but not everyone finds that attractive.

                        Pure headache, another vacation is due. I'm trying so hard to have tawaqqul, I've spoken to so many of these men but I AM MORE of a man.

                        Ya Allah. I'm the biggest coward and here I am, feeling more like a man.


                        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                        Comment


                        • The dentist warned me about a wisdom teeth that is in an awkward position. That wisdom teeth has decided to show it's face and causing pain and discomfort.

                          She said it may require removal because it's on top of another tooth.

                          ​​​
                          This is why I try to appreciate good health more than beauty.
                          'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                          So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                          Comment


                          • Speaking of men that don't want to tell anyone why they got divorced: a couple of years ago, a friend of mine was in touch with a guy about marriage. She's in her 50s and I think he was in his 60s, but both very religiously inclined and she LOVES that. Anyway when I asked her about him she told me that he's divorced, that they met in person with a mahram present and things were going well. I told her that's fine but there's no need to rush into things (she wanted to get married within about 3 weeks) and I said make sure you get an answer from him about why the first marriage didn't work out because his first wife was deeni and practising as well. She said in an abrupt voice "I know I know, I asked and I'm satisfied with his answer" and the way she said that so defensively like she couldn't hear even a hint of a word against him- I was thinking, he aint told you **** about his divorce (cos if he did, she'd have definitely told me), but whatever. She's a very determined person and once her mind is set on something then that's that so I didn't push the issue beyond that. Also all the mutual contacts she asked (who know both her and her husband to be) said he's a good guy, except one who said he's tight with money but otherwise okay.

                            Anyway what happened was within a few weeks of the first meeting, they got married, but for some reason he didn't give her the mahr at the wedding, which she thought was a bit odd (it wasn't expensive, would've cost no more than £1000 and he gave the impression that he's loaded cos he has a very successful career). Within about two days after the nikah, he kept staying out really late till 4am (by that time she was asleep) and then being asleep or out of the house during her waking hours and then he went abroad for a week on his own. This baffled her, then about two weeks after the nikah he divorced her. A mutual friend told her his reasons behind the divorce which were really bogus and stupid. He accused her of "disobedience" cos "she wasn't making dinner" even though whenever she offered him dinner during the day, he'd say he didn't feel like it and would later cook up some pasta dish for himself and other times he'd come home late at night, she'd be asleep so obviously she wouldn't stay up and cook cos she also has health problems (which she fully disclosed to him before they got married). He didn't give the mahr until about a year later.

                            Anyway my point is what you said about the reason for the divorce (and of course she didn't tell me about this until after they got divorced). Before they got married, I think he said he can't discuss the reasons behind his first divorce because "It's considered as backbiting", but after they got divorced, she complains to me "he didn't even tell me why he broke up with the first wife" and I was rolling my eyes over the phone thinking "I told you so". In fact, the more my friend found out about him after he divorced her- the more it seems like he probably didn't even divorce the first wife in the first place, it's more like they were estranged and no longer living together and she suspects that he had hopes of reconciling with her... who knows, whether the second marriage was to make the first wife jealous? I don't know, only he knows and Allah knows.

                            Just the fact that he was cagey about his first marriage prior to this nikah was a red flag to me. Just the fact that they jumped into having the nikah so quickly when they didn't know that much about each other didn't sit right with me. The fact that he was so flaky that he gave a frivolous divorce after two weeks speaks volumes about him. I think she was so blinded by the fact that he's an Arab and seemed quite knowledgeable on many islamic issues- she was so awestruck by that as she's a convert who doesn't know Arabic (but still knows quite a lot about Islam despite that limitation), that she didn't want to pick up on red flags as she thought both being deeni would be enough to see them through.

                            I reminded her of what a sister warned me about several years ago. She said that if you meet a brother and he seems to be practising and a good dawah carrier who gives great speeches and seems quite knowledgeable on Islamic politics and worldly matters- NEVER assume that it means he'll understand how to practice the deen in his home life, or that he'd know about the rights of the wife or roles and responsibilities of spouses and parents etc. I didn't quite understand what she meant at the time, but my life experiences in the years since then and particularly after what happened to my friend's nikah- it all makes a lot more sense now.
                            The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                            Comment


                            • neelu

                              Yeh I agree and understand that there are these weird bunch out there who portray themselves as pious individuals but they aren't

                              The ones who are a bit clever give the reason 'incompatibility' thinkIng that will be enough for me to settle but it's not
                              And when I want them to elaborate, they go psycho

                              Who the heck do they think they are, I admit I'm not chalak but I'm not THAT stupid to not know they're disgraceful and dodgy

                              I might be 'ugly' and a divorcee but that doesn't mean my standards will go down, if anything I've learnt more by the will of Allah

                              I get there are women who become desperate and that blinds them
                              this is one of the reasons why these filthy guys get away with it

                              They know they have options

                              I'm even willing to marry younger men as long as they're decent because I've noticed the older ones are 40 + are just erm, they just want one thing because for them my age is still very young

                              Not everyone, just the ones I've spoken to, there are sensible men out there just I haven't met one yet

                              if I meet a non Bengali that has what I'm looking for then I will even try to persuade my parents, if they say no, at least I had the guts and tried

                              I'm upfront and if the potentials aren't, I'm not interested in their creepy nutcase approach

                              if anyone wants to make dua for me, please do lol
                              'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                              So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                              Comment


                              • My niece spotted a white hair on my head
                                at first she didn't know it was hair

                                why is it that these random white hair look wire like, maybe due to deficiencies and stress

                                So I said to her it's my hair and she freaked out, I told her these things happen

                                I am too tired to care




                                'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                                So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                                Comment

                                Collapse

                                Edit this module to specify a template to display.

                                Working...
                                X