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  • Originally posted by Eorlingas View Post

    If you wear the ring on your "wedding finger" it may give the impression that your taken and they won't bother trying their luck. Are you not allowed to wear facemasks at work? Might hide your youthfull appearance.
    I think they would be curious and look at me as a young bride, and then make assumptions or ask about me etc. Doesn't that invite more attention? I would consider wearing one,so thank you for the suggestion.

    I also have to consider the delivery guys and customers are regulars in the store and I am still making adjustments to this new work setting so I can't behave defensively towards them all the time, it can backfire on me and the team. But my supervisor is aware and is well-informed about this matter. He says not to hesitate to report anything similar to this to him or other TLs.

    The delivery guy made a move and called me "darling" several times in my native tongue when he first saw me.

    An older customer asked me to "smile a bit more" because I look too "fierce", and made a joke that I'm being serious at work because I may get fired by my boss. I laughed along saying no, to sound accomodating but inside I was offended. He came and approached me again last night, and said it again "smile a bit more.."

    We all wear facemasks in public over here, it is a must to wear one.

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    • Now I'm overthinking it :/

      Comment


      • Originally posted by RuthlessSoftie View Post

        Steel sharpens steel son... Don't worry.
        The job isnt as hard as i make it sound, i make it sound dramatic

        i think i can make a success of it

        but the question is whether i want to and whether i can be interested and motivated enough

        and i just cant be bothered when i can hopefully find something else that will require half as much effort and stress

        Comment


        • I had a lovely day at work today. I never thought the day would come where I would say that but this year they put a door to the outside in our staff room and today they put out tables and chairs so we could work outside if we wanted to and that really lifted my mood. I was outside every free moment I had. I finished my entire lesson plan for the week after next week in like 2 hours. And I’m not even supposed to be lesson planning anymore 😂

          it really made a difference.

          Comment


          • It’s cold

            Im lazy

            Im Lying in bed

            Running Excel macros which move my laptop cursor automatically which keeps my status active on skype and teams

            ehh what am i doing with my life

            Comment


            • I like science. Really enjoyed it at uni

              Wish i could make a career out of it

              One that doesnt involve working in some lab

              Ehhhhhhhh

              Comment


              • I think That’s that chapter over

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post
                  It’s cold

                  Im lazy

                  Im Lying in bed

                  Running Excel macros which move my laptop cursor automatically which keeps my status active on skype and teams

                  ehh what am i doing with my life
                  Come.

                  Let's play Among Us son.

                  Comment


                  • How do I maintain a relationship with classmates/colleagues?

                    My class is really small, 7 of us in total, me and another dude are the only men in the class, I get along with all of them fine, its just the outside of class stuff I have trouble with. They like to occasionally hang out, where they'll usually go to bars or pubs, I would just tell them I'm busy, I think they got the idea that I'm some anti social weirdo, because I keep denying their invites. I don't want to tell them I don't go to bars or pubs because of my religion because I know they'll start treating me weird after that. There was also this self defense seminar thing at my school which I thought would be entertaining, but turns out it was mainly womens self defense class, and my field (medicine) is saturated with women (at least at the education level), they were welcoming men to join so that the women could practice judo throwing men, obviously that wouldn't be appropriate so I didn't go. Some other programs happened, but it was during jummah so I didn't go.

                    They invited me to a restaurant to celebrate two of their birthdays on Friday, and I said yes, because I don't think I can keep ducking them like this, I'm stuck with them for 2 years, and this invitation didn't seem inappropriate. Its just dinner at a restaurant, maybe an hour or two. Also what gift do I bring for two women?

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post
                      How do I maintain a relationship with classmates/colleagues?

                      They invited me to a restaurant to celebrate two of their birthdays on Friday, and I said yes, because I don't think I can keep ducking them like this, I'm stuck with them for 2 years, and this invitation didn't seem inappropriate. Its just dinner at a restaurant, maybe an hour or two. Also what gift do I bring for two women?
                      Is this just a gathering of a few students in their twenties? If they are just student colleagues, I don't necessarily think you have to get a gift, it's more a case of you pay for your share of the meal but if you want to get something (in case other people brought gifts and you don't want to be left out) then I don't know- I'm probably not the best person to ask.

                      What I did back in my student days, was if I wanted to meet a student outside of the college, I'd suggest we have tea at the local cafe during the day and some students were okay with that because in those days, tea and coffee didn't cost much, going out for a meal costs a fair bit and they knew I wasn't keen on going to the pub. Admittedly I went to the pub a couple of times in the first few weeks but the music there was so loud, I could hardly hold a conversation so I found it frustrating and didn't go back. From then on, I met up with other students either in the cafe, in the library, or we went to each other's houses. I think if you are invited to the pub, just tell them you don't drink and prefer to not go to the pub- you don't have to explain your beliefs to them beyond that.
                      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by neelu View Post

                        Is this just a gathering of a few students in their twenties? If they are just student colleagues, I don't necessarily think you have to get a gift, it's more a case of you pay for your share of the meal but if you want to get something (in case other people brought gifts and you don't want to be left out) then I don't know- I'm probably not the best person to ask.

                        What I did back in my student days, was if I wanted to meet a student outside of the college, I'd suggest we have tea at the local cafe during the day and some students were okay with that because in those days, tea and coffee didn't cost much, going out for a meal costs a fair bit and they knew I wasn't keen on going to the pub. Admittedly I went to the pub a couple of times in the first few weeks but the music there was so loud, I could hardly hold a conversation so I found it frustrating and didn't go back. From then on, I met up with other students either in the cafe, in the library, or we went to each other's houses. I think if you are invited to the pub, just tell them you don't drink and prefer to not go to the pub- you don't have to explain your beliefs to them beyond that.
                        Well we're going to the restaurant because its the birthday of two of the girls. The age range varies from around 20 to 40, most of us are in our 20s though.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post

                          Well we're going to the restaurant because its the birthday of two of the girls. The age range varies from around 20 to 40, most of us are in our 20s though.
                          ok take this with a pinch of salt cos this is just my opinion. And im no faqih, so i wont comment if this is halal/haram

                          You know what to do, mufti. Screw them like you screwed them many times before. Make it clear you want nothing to do with them looool.

                          I would feel very uncomfortable going out dining in a mixed group, let alone buying birthday presents for strange women. It’s an uncomfortable situation. But at the end of the day, I just wouldn’t go, it doesn’t sit right with me. The most I would do is simply thank them for the invite and wish them a good birthday. I’m sure they would be drinking all sorts at the restaurant too

                          I wouldn’t care too much about what people think.

                          Why should your interactions with these women go beyond the classroom? They are just people in your same class, not your friends or people you spend time with in leisure

                          I think theres a fine line between being nice and compromising on your values

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post
                            How do I maintain a relationship with classmates/colleagues?

                            My class is really small, 7 of us in total, me and another dude are the only men in the class, I get along with all of them fine, its just the outside of class stuff I have trouble with. They like to occasionally hang out, where they'll usually go to bars or pubs, I would just tell them I'm busy, I think they got the idea that I'm some anti social weirdo, because I keep denying their invites. I don't want to tell them I don't go to bars or pubs because of my religion because I know they'll start treating me weird after that. There was also this self defense seminar thing at my school which I thought would be entertaining, but turns out it was mainly womens self defense class, and my field (medicine) is saturated with women (at least at the education level), they were welcoming men to join so that the women could practice judo throwing men, obviously that wouldn't be appropriate so I didn't go. Some other programs happened, but it was during jummah so I didn't go.

                            They invited me to a restaurant to celebrate two of their birthdays on Friday, and I said yes, because I don't think I can keep ducking them like this, I'm stuck with them for 2 years, and this invitation didn't seem inappropriate. Its just dinner at a restaurant, maybe an hour or two. Also what gift do I bring for two women?
                            tell em how it is

                            dont be embarrassed of your faith. Be like khabib and muhammad ali

                            straight talk

                            otherwise they will keep inviting you to their nonsense and girly hangouts

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Mufti Cheesecake View Post
                              .. what gift do I bring for two women?
                              How about a couple of beautifully crafted and luxuriantly embossed zawjah cards?

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Faith reloaded 2 View Post

                                tell em how it is

                                dont be embarrassed of your faith. Be like khabib and muhammad ali

                                straight talk

                                otherwise they will keep inviting you to their nonsense and girly hangouts
                                True say, I kind of get where the bro is coming from though.

                                He doesn't want to be considered weird cos he's practises his religion and wants a normal relationship with his colleagues which is fair enough. But the mixing with non mahrams and this kind of get together is still off limits tho
                                And I don't think we should use Khabib as an example, he does seem to be a good brother but he commits major sins by striking people's faces publicly so let's just look to the Prophet as our example.

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