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What makes a good wali?

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  • What makes a good wali?

    Besides the basics, which is baligh ( has reached maturity), mentally stable, tries to fulfil 5 pillars including daily prayers, what other criterias, traits or whatever is actually expected of him? Are there conditions where a non-mahram can become a wali or does this apply to mahrams only?

    And what nullifies the guy from becoming a wali..?

    Anyone who know this? I think I got basic understanding right but I'm sure there's more to this

  • #2
    Also, Is mahram = wali?

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    • #3
      Here's the thing, my dad is obviously my wali but he is quite awful at being one.

      But if I ever tried to pick someone else to do the job I would most definitely be executed.

      So I'm not sure what to do there, but I am curious to know more about this topic.


      Like would anyones parent actually accept for someone else to be your wali for you?

      I doubt it. Unless you had no connection to them. Some people don't follow religion that closely to think reasonably in these situations.
      Last edited by aelmo; 30-11-20, 05:25 AM.

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      • #4
        A wali is always good.
        There is no God but Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by aelmo View Post
          Here's the thing, my dad is obviously my wali but he is quite awful at being one.

          But if I ever tried to pick someone else to do the job I would most definitely be executed.

          So I'm not sure what to do there, but I am curious to know more about this topic.


          Like would anyones parent actually accept for someone else to be your wali for you?

          I doubt it. Unless you had no connection to them. Some people don't follow religion that closely to think reasonably in these situations.
          Why "awful" at him being wali?

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          • #6
            Originally posted by nudgetheputri1 View Post

            Why "awful" at him being wali?
            He just doesn't put in any effort to finding my sisters and I husbands and is very picky when one actually shows up.

            I don't think he cares if we get married or not. He says he does but his actions say otherwise.

            We also seem to have different visions of what we want and he would probably not like anyone I would like. And if by some miracle he agree's for me to marry someone I like he would probably give my husband a very hard time.

            If you all think I'm indecisive wait until you meet him.

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            • #7
              A, wise person who knows and understands his community around him.
              Visit my channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYk...dE4pHzSid7Lr0w

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              • #8
                I don't know but he should be able to ward you off evil that is chocolate.

                https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

                Ephemeral reader

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by muzzybee View Post
                  A, wise person who knows and understands his community around him.
                  Concise words. You are perhaps a sage.
                  https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/lo...-qur-an-courseI am just a simple nomad.

                  Ephemeral reader

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                  • #10
                    Alhamdulillah my dad was a good wali but the main issue was him wanting me to say yes to anyone he likes, even though I myself didn't. I did say yes to most of them anyway, but the few times I didn't, it was like the roof collapsing over my head.

                    Definitely better than what I see of other walis who are either clueless or don't care what their daughters are up to. Dad is strict but he knew it was his job to get me married.

                    My dad was also very fussy about location. This really hindered any progression because the ones that liked me where usually far away.

                    ​​​I met someone who I really clicked with and he spoke to my brother, we swapped pictures but no, location too far away for my dad that he didn't talk to me that day. He had the strop.

                    He asked me what I want to do, I said I want to consider this man. He was not happy, obviously we didn't go ahead, I don't know why he bothered asking me.

                    My dad loves me too much I think. That's the only reason I can think of, he sees my face and his heart melts, I am not chalak enough to live far away with another man.

                    ​​​​​​
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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                    • #11
                      I wish I could answer your question but I will only provide a guess or what I have read online.

                      Hope you find a reliable answer in sha Allah.
                      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

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                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                        Alhamdulillah my dad was a good wali but the main issue was him wanting me to say yes to anyone he likes, even though I myself didn't. I did say yes to most of them anyway, but the few times I didn't, it was like the roof collapsing over my head.

                        Definitely better than what I see of other walis who are either clueless or don't care what their daughters are up to. Dad is strict but he knew it was his job to get me married.

                        My dad was also very fussy about location. This really hindered any progression because the ones that liked me where usually far away.

                        ​​​I met someone who I really clicked with and he spoke to my brother, we swapped pictures but no, location too far away for my dad that he didn't talk to me that day. He had the strop.

                        He asked me what I want to do, I said I want to consider this man. He was not happy, obviously we didn't go ahead, I don't know why he bothered asking me.

                        My dad loves me too much I think. That's the only reason I can think of, he sees my face and his heart melts, I am not chalak enough to live far away with another man.

                        ​​​​​​
                        Sounds like your dad makes a good wali, then.

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                        • #13
                          Actually trying to get the girl married.
                          You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                          You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by nudgetheputri1 View Post

                            Sounds like your dad makes a good wali, then.
                            Rejecting someone because they live far away is not a great reason to reject someone especially when the female is okay with it. Love to know in this situation what far away is in miles.

                            Parents need to know when to let go, they think they are helping but in the long run it's a hindrance. The children themselves need to speak up and act.

                            Often the same parent got married and moved countries taking his wife with him and away from her loved ones. The logic is somewhat ajeeb.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by zi-zizou View Post

                              Rejecting someone because they live far away is not a great reason to reject someone especially when the female is okay with it. Love to know in this situation what far away is in miles.

                              Parents need to know when to let go, they think they are helping but in the long run it's a hindrance. The children themselves need to speak up and act.

                              Often the same parent got married and moved countries taking his wife with him and away from her loved ones. The logic is somewhat ajeeb.
                              Yes my son. The damage parents cause immeasurable.
                              You think you know more than my scholar's qiyās? He was more learned than you and all other scholars combined. Yeah, the devil was the greatest scholar too and look where his qiyās of fire being better than tīn got him. Sorry.

                              You follow your scholar's qiyās, and I will follow the Qur'ān and Sunnah.

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