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Tips on inviting Family members to the right Aqeedah

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  • Help! Tips on inviting Family members to the right Aqeedah

    A part of my close family are very uneducated on Islam. I don't want to go into much details, but I have often found and seen instances of them doing things which go against the correct Aqeedah! Obviously I care for all of them and I do not wish that they die in that state and end up in the wrong destination.

    Anyways I have had limited success and one terrible experience trying to convince my family of the true Aqeedah. ( I have not even discussed the issue with a few others ) I would really like your help and advice on how I should do it, anything. Just any simple tips are really appreciated, so anyone else here can also benefit.

    Should I try to unnaturally bond with these specific family members so that they may have my trust, then talk about these sensitive issues? Should I act more religious in front of them or like show daleel for what I say?

    Or perhaps I should do dua, have faith and just behave nicely in front of them and when the opportunity comes (whenever it maybe) I should talk to them about it.

    Sometimes I feel like unless I prove myself to be a successful individual (i.e get rich) nobody is going to listen to me. By the time that happens some of my family might not even be alive so I am really scared.

    May Allah cause all those who we care deep in our hearts to be by our side in Jannat.

  • #2
    Its energy draining I've been bullied for trying to educate them about the deen but I have limited ability to convince them as they are all older than me and dont take seriously lol. :/


    How do you deal with bullies? That should be the real question here lol

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by Flawed View Post
      Its energy draining I've been bullied for trying to educate them about the deen but I have limited ability to convince them as they are all older than me and dont take seriously lol. :/


      How do you deal with bullies? That should be the real question here lol
      lol. Exactly. It's tough right? Energy draining and Exhausting. The other times as if I am crazy!!

      Glad to see another brother taken on this beautiful task!

      Here is what I think! If they do start acting like bullies I think it's better to stop right there. That's just self abuse!! Maybe pause for a year or something. Then try again. Then they might be more interested knowing full well that you are not acting on some whims and you are confident in what you believe in.

      Hope your family comes to the right Aqeedah too! Inshallah

      Comment


      • #4
        For me there are two types of people in my family. The first people are people who I have already started explaining but they don't seem to care about what I am saying. I'm gonna skip those people who I have already explained for now as you said, that's pretty exhausting. What's worse if you put too much hope that they will except what you say and at the end they don't, it even hurts your iman so I feel since I already passed down the message I am temporarily done with them.


        The second type is the ones whom I haven't spoken to.
        I want to present myself in the best way to them so they don't end up like the previous lot and thereby end up just wasting my time. Here is where I really need advice. How do I present myself?

        I am really scared if I make one wrong move they will not listen to me forever!

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by RED ICON View Post

          lol. Exactly. It's tough right? Energy draining and Exhausting. The other times as if I am crazy!!

          Glad to see another brother taken on this beautiful task!

          Here is what I think! If they do start acting like bullies I think it's better to stop right there. That's just self abuse!! Maybe pause for a year or something. Then try again. Then they might be more interested knowing full well that you are not acting on some whims and you are confident in what you believe in.

          Hope your family comes to the right Aqeedah too! Inshallah
          Well tbf I'm a sister so it's more difficult for me to convince anyone.


          The worst part is I have a salafi relative and she always plays all these twisted games on my family and tells them things like oh flawed isnt really practising, she doesnt even have a membership with the "Islam is only for Angels" club and the rest of us who are on a different path to Allah should stop wasting their time and give up.....:/


          How disappointing and awkward are they. Lol.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Flawed View Post

            Well tbf I'm a sister so it's more difficult for me to convince anyone.


            The worst part is I have a salafi relative and she always plays all these twisted games on my family and tells them things like oh flawed isnt really practising, she doesnt even have a membership with the "Islam is only for Angels" club and the rest of us who are on a different path to Allah should stop wasting their time and give up.....:/


            How disappointing and awkward are they. Lol.
            That's messed up. How is she in anyway a Salafi if she gives the green light to to others to practice the wrong Aqeeda? She really needs to get educated on the topic tbh.

            Comment


            • #7
              "So remind; you are only a reminder.
              You are not over them a controller."
              (88:21-22)

              I've been in the same boat
              Just remind them when you can. Don't attach yourself to the expectation that they will accept what you say.

              "Indeed, you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills." (28:56)


              "When you want to cry, laugh.
              If you're frozen in fear, you can't do anything"

              Comment


              • #8
                What are those things that you intend by "doing things that go against the correct Aqeedah"? Give an example.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Energy vamps. Doesnt matter what aqeedah you are from just dont be an energy vamp.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Abu Sulayman View Post
                    What are those things that you intend by "doing things that go against the correct Aqeedah"? Give an example.
                    I know that if I say one thing people will judge me (and innocent people in my family) because they don't know the whole story. And I don't want to put my whole life story here.
                    So just use your imagination. These things that go against Aqeedah can be anything from checking horoscopes to doing sihr.





                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Bolt View Post
                      "So remind; you are only a reminder.
                      You are not over them a controller."
                      (88:21-22)

                      I've been in the same boat
                      Just remind them when you can. Don't attach yourself to the expectation that they will accept what you say.

                      "Indeed, you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills." (28:56)



                      I will take your advice and apply it.

                      I hope you find success in this matter too! Inshallah! Really happy to see other people are there too who are in the same situation. It's really motivating and increases my hope.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Abu Sulayman View Post
                        What are those things that you intend by "doing things that go against the correct Aqeedah"? Give an example.
                        I will say though that a extremely old member of my family doesn't have a perfect Aqeedah. She used to pray every single day of my life. I used to look up to here always and so did everyone in my neighborhood.

                        But out of my horror one day I have noticed that when she was in trouble or doing something difficult she used to call upon someone other than Allah!! She said something along the lines of "ya ali madad" or something like that.

                        She recently had stroke and cannot walk by herself and she even has memory problems. I just don't know how to approach her. She is quite introverted and shy even. At her age she all she wants to be is left alone. Even though I see here a lot we don't speak much. How should I approach her and talk about these things at this stage?? This is my biggest trouble right now.

                        I would be really devastated if she died in her state. I am open to advice from anyone.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by RED ICON View Post

                          I will say though that a extremely old member of my family doesn't have a perfect Aqeedah. She used to pray every single day of my life. I used to look up to here always and so did everyone in my neighborhood.

                          But out of my horror one day I have noticed that when she was in trouble or doing something difficult she used to call upon someone other than Allah!! She said something along the lines of "ya ali madad" or something like that.

                          She recently had stroke and cannot walk by herself and she even has memory problems. I just don't know how to approach her. She is quite introverted and shy even. At her age she all she wants to be is left alone. Even though I see here a lot we don't speak much. How should I approach her and talk about these things at this stage?? This is my biggest trouble right now.

                          I would be really devastated if she died in her state. I am open to advice from anyone.
                          It's as though this person is a disbeliever to you.

                          I think you need to humble yourself and appreciate the different opinions within Sunni Islam.

                          Not a dig at you, but some Salafis have this complex where they and only they have the correct understanding of Islam and everyone else needs to be saved. It is one of the reasons some Salafis are very difficult to be around and get shunned, its easy to point fingers at others and not look at our own behaviour. Islam predates modern day Salafi thought, which is what, a few decades old?

                          Sunni Islam is broad, expansive and very inclusive.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by AX1300 View Post

                            It's as though this person is a disbeliever to you.

                            I think you need to humble yourself and appreciate the different opinions within Sunni Islam.

                            Not a dig at you, but some Salafis have this complex where they and only they have the correct understanding of Islam and everyone else needs to be saved. It is one of the reasons some Salafis are very difficult to be around and get shunned, its easy to point fingers at others and not look at our own behaviour. Islam predates modern day Salafi thought, which is what, a few decades old?

                            Sunni Islam is broad, expansive and very inclusive.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              https://islamqa.info/en/answers/3457...llaah-is-shirk

                              Calling upon other than Allah is shirk. Jazakallah

                              I knew it was going to go to this point. C'mon guys I am not in the mood to argue about Aqeedah. I am just trying to help my family. If you can help me by giving me advice that would be appreciated. If not please just leave me alone.

                              Comment

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