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    Salaam to all,

    I have been on a chat platform recently to beat my boredom (which I know I shouldn't). But my only purpose there is to fulfil my chatting appetite and meet a random people. Although I talk to people it is most of the time a one time chat and I never "see" this people again. And I never intend to play people's feelings.
    However, last time when I was chatting, I met an interesting person who was muslim. We talked for many hours, trying to know each other. Then he asked me to add him on Facebook, I didn't. He still came to same chat place to talk to me another day. I tried kindly refuse him, told him I'm not looking a husband here. Then we still chatted for some time, then I left.

    Now, he disappeared, he is not coming to chat room anymore. Although I thought he will come because he didn't say he wouldn't.
    Since he disappeared and it seems that I am still thinking of him, I am considering to send him a friend request on fb.
    Am I allowed to do it in islamic view?

    I am not that type of girl who runs after man, I was not raised like that and of course it is not islamic. I have always admired Aisha, Khatija,Asya, and Musa's (as) wife, and Hajar, who are my role models and women with morals, values, self respect and honour. I can not be a hair of them, but adding a man to fb is really big deal to me.
    But on the other hand, people are using social media, and lets be honest, people see and chat non-mahram men at their normal life.. you can not avoid it. I am also doing it with respect.
    I am unmarried girl, and people around my age have already teenage children.. So, I sometimes think, that I have to give a go and meet potential husband because not anybody will come to knock my door automatically..

    I hope I have made myself understood. Jazaakum Allah khair in advance for those who response, and those who read.
    Please make dua to all muslims.


  • #2
    Originally posted by Hijra View Post
    Salaam to all,

    I have been on a chat platform recently to beat my boredom (which I know I shouldn't). But my only purpose there is to fulfil my chatting appetite and meet a random people. Although I talk to people it is most of the time a one time chat and I never "see" this people again. And I never intend to play people's feelings.
    However, last time when I was chatting, I met an interesting person who was muslim. We talked for many hours, trying to know each other. Then he asked me to add him on Facebook, I didn't. He still came to same chat place to talk to me another day. I tried kindly refuse him, told him I'm not looking a husband here. Then we still chatted for some time, then I left.

    Now, he disappeared, he is not coming to chat room anymore. Although I thought he will come because he didn't say he wouldn't.
    Since he disappeared and it seems that I am still thinking of him, I am considering to send him a friend request on fb.
    Am I allowed to do it in islamic view?

    I am not that type of girl who runs after man, I was not raised like that and of course it is not islamic. I have always admired Aisha, Khatija,Asya, and Musa's (as) wife, and Hajar, who are my role models and women with morals, values, self respect and honour. I can not be a hair of them, but adding a man to fb is really big deal to me.
    But on the other hand, people are using social media, and lets be honest, people see and chat non-mahram men at their normal life.. you can not avoid it. I am also doing it with respect.
    I am unmarried girl, and people around my age have already teenage children.. So, I sometimes think, that I have to give a go and meet potential husband because not anybody will come to knock my door automatically..

    I hope I have made myself understood. Jazaakum Allah khair in advance for those who response, and those who read.
    Please make dua to all muslims.
    Unfortunately, most people who are on these chat platforms and Facebook are not serious about marriage. Marriage is a very serious commitment and most people who are on the internet are not looking for it. They want the benefits of marriage such as a relationship with the opposite gender and everything that comes with it, but they don't want the responsibility. They just want to mess around, pass some time, or get the thrill of engaging in conversation with the opposite gender under the guise of looking for a spouse.

    Being lonely or in need of social interaction makes people especially women vulnerable. But this can lead you into making a serious mistake and trusting someone who should not be trusted.

    You should get married but use the means which Islam allows, and do it through your walee (your father or the next closest male family member). If you marry the right spouse it will solve many problems for you in sha Allah.

    Comment


    • #3
      Asslamu Alaykum sister.

      Do you want to talk to him regarding marriage? Or you just want to chat?

      ​​​​​​​if for marriage then yes. You can message him and if he is interested let your Wali contact him. Don't talk to him if you are not serious.

      Comment


      • #4
        Don't go near Zina.

        Do you have anyone that can help you find out about this person?

        You should be weary about men online because you don't know them and they could be talking to other girls.

        Just as you are bored, he too could be looking for something to give him that same rush or whatever.

        Don't become friends. One thing leads to another and please don't think that you are protected just because you come from an Islamic background.

        You know what is the right thing to do.

        Forget other people, if you keep looking at others you will start compromising on religion.

        Who gives a toss.

        People my age have kids, I don't. Big whoop mate

        ​​​​​​Yes, it can be a little disheartening but everyone will be different.

        Doesn't mean we should seek other ways that could be harmful.
        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

        Comment


        • #5
          So he stopped giving you attention and now you're running after him and are suddenly interested in marriage.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
            So he stopped giving you attention and now you're running after him and are suddenly interested in marriage.
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            • #7
              Originally posted by Abu Abdur_Rahman View Post

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              SFAS warning
              What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked Allah for yesterday?

              We worry about tomorrow as if its guaranteed

              Comment


              • #8
                Stick figure alert squad reminds you to use stick figures appropriatly
                What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked Allah for yesterday?

                We worry about tomorrow as if its guaranteed

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Abu Abdur_Rahman View Post

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                  "And behold! ye come to us bare and alone as We created you for the first time: ye have left behind you all which We bestowed on you..." - Al-An'am:94

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Abu Abdur_Rahman View Post

                    Unfortunately, most people who are on these chat platforms and Facebook are not serious about marriage. Marriage is a very serious commitment and most people who are on the internet are not looking for it. They want the benefits of marriage such as a relationship with the opposite gender and everything that comes with it, but they don't want the responsibility. They just want to mess around, pass some time, or get the thrill of engaging in conversation with the opposite gender under the guise of looking for a spouse.

                    Being lonely or in need of social interaction makes people especially women vulnerable. But this can lead you into making a serious mistake and trusting someone who should not be trusted.

                    You should get married but use the means which Islam allows, and do it through your walee (your father or the next closest male family member). If you marry the right spouse it will solve many problems for you in sha Allah.
                    I think this guy was serious, and he seemed to be sure about my contact to him. We only discussed decently, nothing inappropriate way... those who are not serious you somehow recognise them.
                    I do accept Islamic way for marriage, but in my case it seems really difficult to find potential husband that way. There is not many muslims around where I live. I wish everything was that simple as you told ..

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Farah. A View Post
                      Asslamu Alaykum sister.

                      Do you want to talk to him regarding marriage? Or you just want to chat?

                      ​​​​​​​if for marriage then yes. You can message him and if he is interested let your Wali contact him. Don't talk to him if you are not serious.
                      We were talking on purpose to get to know each other. Not be in relationship as we see in the west.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Stoic Believer View Post
                        So he stopped giving you attention and now you're running after him and are suddenly interested in marriage.
                        Interesting sentence.
                        I was then and still I am interested in marriage but I was not looking potential husband via chat platform.


                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                          Don't go near Zina.

                          Do you have anyone that can help you find out about this person?

                          You should be weary about men online because you don't know them and they could be talking to other girls.

                          Just as you are bored, he too could be looking for something to give him that same rush or whatever.

                          Don't become friends. One thing leads to another and please don't think that you are protected just because you come from an Islamic background.

                          You know what is the right thing to do.

                          Forget other people, if you keep looking at others you will start compromising on religion.

                          Who gives a toss.

                          People my age have kids, I don't. Big whoop mate

                          ​​​​​​Yes, it can be a little disheartening but everyone will be different.

                          Doesn't mean we should seek other ways that could be harmful.
                          I have no one to find out about him. Even I do not have a lot information about him.
                          He said he didn't talk a word to other girls after me.
                          You are right, I don't want to come friends.
                          I do know the right thing but it is hard to apply it.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Well, adding or removing a virtual title doesn't make a difference. Just because those men, among the people you are having casual conversations with, are not one of your social media "friends" doesn't mean it is fine to casually chat with them. Apply the same level of concern in the opposite direction too, you know.

                            "And behold! ye come to us bare and alone as We created you for the first time: ye have left behind you all which We bestowed on you..." - Al-An'am:94

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by notEVOLVED View Post
                              " doesn't mean it is fine to casually chat with them. .
                              abit like the forum is it not?

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