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  • I'm loosing faith in Allah...

    I hope this thread does not cause any fitnah, I have decided to write my concerns here because I have no one else to turn too, and I'm stressed about my situation.
    Since I started "practising," my whole life had changed. The major positives is that I managed to give up some of the major bad habits, and I began attending the mosque more regularly. However, about two years in, I began to fall into depression rather quickly. Firstly, I have become alien to most of my family. They deem me "extreme," for not watching movies for example and their insecurities of their own lifestyles has led them to challenge me on daily bases. The situation got so bad that I purposely decided to find work elsewhere just so then I can keep away from them. However, this has led to my isolation; I have tried to get married; believing that a pious sister would help keep me company, however I have realised that most women are secular or are simply put off men of religion, for the same reason that my family found me 'extreme,' i.e, not listening to music or watching movies etc. What makes things worse, the Devil always seems to remind me of my family and how frustrating they can be which ends up making me even more angry and furious about my situation.
    All this has unfortunately began making me think negatively about life. I don't know what Allah SWT wants of me, or whether living a religious life is even worth it? I feel like I have become quick to anger and more isolated since I turned more "religious,." I'm suffering from a spiritual crisis at the moment and I don't know what to do. I know what Im saying is haram if not kufr, which makes me feel even more disappointed just having these thoughts, but I don't know who else to talk to.

  • #2
    Originally posted by CuriousHistorian View Post
    I hope this thread does not cause any fitnah, I have decided to write my concerns here because I have no one else to turn too, and I'm stressed about my situation.
    Since I started "practising," my whole life had changed. The major positives is that I managed to give up some of the major bad habits, and I began attending the mosque more regularly. However, about two years in, I began to fall into depression rather quickly. Firstly, I have become alien to most of my family. They deem me "extreme," for not watching movies for example and their insecurities of their own lifestyles has led them to challenge me on daily bases. The situation got so bad that I purposely decided to find work elsewhere just so then I can keep away from them. However, this has led to my isolation; I have tried to get married; believing that a pious sister would help keep me company, however I have realised that most women are secular or are simply put off men of religion, for the same reason that my family found me 'extreme,' i.e, not listening to music or watching movies etc. What makes things worse, the Devil always seems to remind me of my family and how frustrating they can be which ends up making me even more angry and furious about my situation.
    All this has unfortunately began making me think negatively about life. I don't know what Allah SWT wants of me, or whether living a religious life is even worth it? I feel like I have become quick to anger and more isolated since I turned more "religious,." I'm suffering from a spiritual crisis at the moment and I don't know what to do. I know what Im saying is haram if not kufr, which makes me feel even more disappointed just having these thoughts, but I don't know who else to talk to.

    This is the life, my beloved brother, where we will go through very, very trying times, and some easier times.

    You're right about a lot of sisters (and the same would probably apply for them towards us men). Musiimahs with scarves, professing importance of deen and Allah in their lives will also be professing their love for this series and that series, films, music, etc, etc.

    Try to do things with your family that don't involve these things if you can at all, and something else that Allah Ta'aalaa mentions for us to do when avoiding such things is that the way we avoid them should be in a way that's honourable... Wa idhaa marroo bil laghwi marroo kiraamaa ... Not to make a fuss or argue etc, (that's not to say you're doing that of course.)

    ​​​​​​


    -----------------

    ​Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, The most privileged people in the world among the people of the Hellfire will come on the Day of Resurrection to be dipped in the Hellfire, then it will be said: O son of Adam, did you see any good? Did there come to you any blessing (in the dunya)? He will say: No, by Allah, my Lord! Then the most miserable people in the world among the people of Paradise will come on the Day of Resurrection to be dipped in the Paradise, then it will be said: O son of Adam, did you see any hardship? Did you have any distress? He will say: No, by Allah, my Lord! I did not once see hardship or distress.

    Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2807

    Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim


    ​​
    نِ مَالِكٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يُؤْتَى بِأَنْعَمِ أَهْلِ الدُّنْيَا مِنْ أَهْلِ النَّارِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ فَيُصْبَغُ فِي النَّارِ صَبْغَةً ثُمَّ يُقَالُ يَا ابْنَ آدَمَ هَلْ رَأَيْتَ خَيْرًا قَطُّ هَلْ مَرَّ بِكَ نَعِيمٌ قَطُّ فَيَقُولُ لَا وَاللَّهِ يَا رَبِّ وَيُؤْتَى بِأَشَدِّ النَّاسِ بُؤْسًا فِي الدُّنْيَا مِنْ أَهْلِ الْجَنَّةِ فَيُصْبَغُ صَبْغَةً فِي الْجَنَّةِ فَيُقَالُ لَهُ يَا ابْنَ آدَمَ هَلْ رَأَيْتَ بُؤْسًا قَطُّ هَلْ مَرَّ بِكَ شِدَّةٌ قَطُّ فَيَقُولُ لَا وَاللَّهِ يَا رَبِّ مَا مَرَّ بِي بُؤْسٌ قَطُّ وَلَا رَأَيْتُ شِدَّةً قَطُّ

    2807 صحيح مسلم كتاب صفة القيامة والجنة والنار باب صبغ أنعم أهل الدنيا في النار وصبغ أشدهم بؤسا في الجنة



    Last edited by Fakhri-bin-Ali; 08-07-19, 02:11 AM.
    LAA ILAAHA ILLALLAAH
    -------------------------------------

    ​​​​​NOTE: Please kindly avoid 'liking' my posts (Jazaa'akumullah khair)

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    • #3
      Don't give up. I am sure p!enty of people have went through this and come out strong.

      Jannah isn't cheap so strive.

      May Allah make it easy for you.
      I am just a simple nomad.

      Ephemeral reader

      Comment


      • #4
        Indeed, with greater rewards come greater tests. When Allah loves a people He tests them. - Al-Tirmidhi

        If Allah wants good for somebody, He afflicts him with trials. - Al-Bukhari

        Ibn al-Qayyim said:
        Were it not that Allah treats His slaves with the remedy of trials and calamities, they would transgress and overstep the mark. When Allah wills good for His slaves, He gives him the medicine of calamities and trials according to his situation, so as to cure him from all fatal illnesses and diseases, until He purifies and cleanses him, and then makes him qualified for the most honourable position in this world, which is that of being a true slave of Allah (uboodiyyah), and for the greatest reward in the Hereafter, which is that of seeing Him and being close to Him.
        Zaad al-Maaad, 4/195

        Ibrahim at-Taymee:
        The one who is not afflicted with sadness and grief should fear being from the people of the Fire because the people of Paradise will say : All praises and thanks be to Allah, who has removed from us grief. [35:34]

        (If we lose faith in Allah, we lose everything (that has any worth). May Allah safeguard us from such and relieve you from your distress and quickly, ameen.)

        Remember Yusuf:
        https://www.ummah.com/forum/forum/li...remember-yusuf

        Comment


        • #5
          Anas bin Malik narrated that the Messenger of Allah(s.a.w) said:
          "There shall come upon the people a time in which the one who is patient upon his religion will be like the one holding onto a burning ember."
          Jami` at-Tirmidhi 2260
          Grade: Hasan


          Perhaps, this video will help your Imaan, insha Allah. May Allah make the trials easy for you.

          "And behold! ye come to us bare and alone as We created you for the first time: ye have left behind you all which We bestowed on you..." - Al-An'am:94

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          • #6
            May Allah make it easy for you

            Never forget Allah is always with the believers (surah Taha), He knows and sees anyone struggles, it will not be in vain.

            I am leaving you a few hadiths :

            'A'isha reported:
            I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: There is nothing (in the form of trouble) that comes to a believer even if it is the pricking of a thorn that there is decreed for him by Allah good or his sins are obliterated. (Sahih Muslim)

            Abu Umayyah ash-Sha'bani said:
            I asked AbuTha'labah al-Khushani: What is your opinion about the verse "Care for yourselves".
            He said: I swear by Allah, I asked the one who was well informed about it; I asked the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) about it.
            He said: No, enjoin one another to do what is good and forbid one another to do what is evil.
            But when you see niggardliness being obeyed, passion being followed, worldly interests being preferred, everyone being charmed with his opinion, then care for yourself, and leave alone what people in general are doing; for ahead of you are days which will require endurance, in which showing endurance will be like grasping live coals.
            The one who acts rightly during that period will have the reward of fifty men who act as he does.
            Another version has: He said (The hearers asked:) Messenger of Allah, the reward of fifty of them? He replied: The reward of fifty of you. (Sunan Abi Dawud)
            Last edited by islamlife00; 08-07-19, 05:48 PM. Reason: add
            He has created man from a sperm-drop; and behold this same (man) becomes an open disputer! (16:4)

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            • #7
              I can relate.

              Just remember, you are on this path for Allah's pleasure alone. That is it. The Sahaba bled and died for this religion. Our lives are soft by comparison. If Allah is pleased with you then that is an amazing and beautiful thing. Nothing can replace that; not a family or a wife. So of course it is worth it.

              Also remember that Islam will return to something strange. The people of Sunnah will always be strangers.

              Finally, don't underestimate the power of righteous friends. Do not be isolated. And be good to your family in spite of everything.
              Last edited by Stoic Believer; 08-07-19, 06:59 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by CuriousHistorian View Post
                I hope this thread does not cause any fitnah, I have decided to write my concerns here because I have no one else to turn too, and I'm stressed about my situation.
                Since I started "practising," my whole life had changed. The major positives is that I managed to give up some of the major bad habits, and I began attending the mosque more regularly. However, about two years in, I began to fall into depression rather quickly. Firstly, I have become alien to most of my family. They deem me "extreme," for not watching movies for example and their insecurities of their own lifestyles has led them to challenge me on daily bases. The situation got so bad that I purposely decided to find work elsewhere just so then I can keep away from them. However, this has led to my isolation; I have tried to get married; believing that a pious sister would help keep me company, however I have realised that most women are secular or are simply put off men of religion, for the same reason that my family found me 'extreme,' i.e, not listening to music or watching movies etc. What makes things worse, the Devil always seems to remind me of my family and how frustrating they can be which ends up making me even more angry and furious about my situation.
                All this has unfortunately began making me think negatively about life. I don't know what Allah SWT wants of me, or whether living a religious life is even worth it? I feel like I have become quick to anger and more isolated since I turned more "religious,." I'm suffering from a spiritual crisis at the moment and I don't know what to do. I know what Im saying is haram if not kufr, which makes me feel even more disappointed just having these thoughts, but I don't know who else to talk to.
                There are so many ways to look at this problem.

                Other brothers and sisters have given you plenty of islamic snippets to go on, but could also be a underlying dunya issue that you need to resolve.

                From your post it seems your a young man, unmarried and living with your family.

                While there is nothing wrong with living with your family, or close to your family, there is nothing that says its a must.

                1. Sometimes as man you need to establish yourself first.

                Establishing yourself means going out and getting a job, getting a place of your own, or starting a family.

                For example if you was to live away from home for one year, perhaps your family would appreciate you more and not judge you for your (islamic) lifestyle.

                Being independent and being able to make your own path in life will increase your confidence, and imaan inshallah.

                You got to realize your not entirely dependent on the creation for your provision or happiness, it comes from Allah (swt).

                2. I dont agree with the idea that all women are secular and not interested in religious men, if thats how you feel again you need to change your environment. There are millions of women looking for the religious type and want to do things the correct way, but they will never come knocking on your door and say "O Salaam...are you the brother thats feeling abit down, im looking for a religious husband" - that never happens, so you have to go out and find them, usually that means networking with men in your islamic community, that means becoming a regular at the mosque, getting to know other brothers etc, which will also help you when you have moments of low imaan like this.

                3. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you should feel sorry for your family.

                If they are watching movies and listening to music, this even by dunya standards is considered activities of people who are not proactive.

                What i mean by this, successful people PRODUCE content, they dont just Consume it.

                You should try to show them, there are better things to do in life, than to just sit there watching the stuff other people have slapped together.

                Do outdoor activities, find other means of entertainment, read books, go see a new place. There a million things better than being couch potatoes.

                You need to help pull your family out of their rubbish habits.


                Remember Life isnt about pleasing everybody.


                May Allah grant you ease and increase your emaan.
                Last edited by murad; 08-07-19, 07:59 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Assalamu alaykum

                  Many of us, myself included, have been through the exact same thing that you have described and it’s a very common occurrence Subhanallah. If you’re the only one practising in your family, then it’s very important for you to display good character as a way in which to call your family to Islam. Of course, it’s natural to hate what they are upon, but the Shaytaan wants you to distance yourself from them so that your da’wah is ineffective and so that you are isolated.

                  You say that you remember your family and how frustrating they can be and it makes you angry but akhi, from the stories of the anbiya we have prime examples of how even the prophets were tested with their families who disbelieved & yet they remained patient and continued to call them to Allah for years and years. Nuh alayhissalam was a Prophet and yet his own son & wife were disbelievers. My point is, we are all tested in different ways & maybe your test is your family and so you need to deal with them with hikma and in a way which gives them their rights whilst also calling them to Islam.

                  Sometimes, when we start practising, our family feel as though they have lost us & so they start labelling us as extremists and mocking us and so on and so forth. I have been practising Islam for 11 years now wa lilahil hamd and my mum still, to this day, tries to make me take off my abaya or tries to encourage me to do haram. At first, it would upset and frustrate me but now Subhanallah, I just genuinely pray that Allah guides her & my family towards the right path

                  instead of getting frustrated at you family make shukr that Allah has guided you & never ever stop making dua for your family’s guidance. Hearts of mankind are weak, so much so that the prophets (peace be upon him) most regular and frequent dua was asking Allah to keep his heart firm upon the religion.

                  Its not uncommon for Shaytaan to start giving us religious superiority and making us look down on others who may be sinning but Subhanallah this is very dangerous and we should always always remember that it is He, Allah who has guided us & we need to be grateful & conscious of the fact that this can be taken from us at any moment.

                  You say that since you started practising you have become more angry but Islam should give us tranquility & rest. If you feel that your heart is hardening then take a step back & evaluate where you think you’re going wrong. Are you doing small acts of worship consistently? Are you doing your adhkaar and your dhikr and are you reciting Quran? Are you busying yourself with that which does not concern you? When i started practising Islam I felt that I had become very harsh authobillah because I was concerning myself with issues which did nothing to increase my iman. this is a massive trick of Shaytaan, he doesn’t want you to progress in terms of the deen (learning Arabic, memorising Quran etc) so he will try to occupy you with things which will not really bring you much benefit but will instead harden your heart

                  Lastly, we all get waswas Subhanallah. Even the sahabas would get so bad waswas that they couldn’t even bare to disclose their thoughts.

                  It was narrated from Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them both) that a man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) and said, “I think thoughts to myself, which I would rather be burnt to a cinder than speak of them.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said, “Praise be to Allah, Who has reduced all his [the Shaytan’s] plots to mere whispers.” (Abu Dawood).
                  https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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                  • #10
                    Seems to me like you'd benefit from spending more time out of the house and less time with the family.* That could mean more time at work, or taking evening classes, or going to the masjid, or go to the gym, or visit friends.* It isn't a solution but it'll help give you a break from the environment and stress of being around your family.* Your Islamic duty is to advise your family once- after that it's up to them whether they listen or not.* If they don't listen and put on a film etc then just leave the room, go to your room and do your own thing.* The duty is to advise once and if you want then you can advise them 3 times but no more than that after which you don't bother reminding them and just get on with your own life. *

                    Trust me when I say, even a good pious wife wouldn't solve this problem, this is a matter between you and your family, not anyone else.* A good wife will feel like she's caught in the middle and has divided loyalties between wanting to help maintain ties between the family and having to distance yourselves because of the way they live and on top of that her family wouldn't want her to live with in laws who hold such hostile views towards her religiosity.* My point is, it'll introduce a new set of problems whilst you haven't resolved your current set of problems. *

                    Also seems to me you haven't lost faith in Allah (swt), it's more like you've lost faith in your family and a sense of connection with the people around you, so your adherence to the deen has made you lonely even in a crowd.* This is normal.* Glad tidings for the strangers
                    The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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                    • #11
                      Read more books. Immerse yourself and build yourself a nice little library.
                      8 powerful habits to succeed


                      1. Wake up early!
                      2. Do it as soon as possible, you could die tonight so make the best of today
                      3. Remember your life is unique, don't compare yourself to others. Use that jealousy as an energy to make your life a success"
                      4. Have healthy habits. Set a time each day to exercise. Try with the mindset you're only going to do some jumping jacks for 5 seconds and the next thing you know, you're doing a workout!
                      5. Read, read, read. Ponder over the Qur'an, learn more. Put the idiot box (TV) away
                      6. Take note. Desires make slaves out of kings and patience makes kings out of slaves.
                      7. Results aren't just worldly. Results are also about perseverance, retaining dignity, being honest, being honourable, doing good unto others.
                      8. Always encourage others especially our brothers and sisters, let them know making mistakes is okay, we all make mistakes, do not ever undermine them and make them feel incompetent. This is also true for the dunya, so what if they don't get the maths sum right the first time, that is what LEARNING is.

                      NEW UPDATE

                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJubtizAEfU


                      Watch this when you're distressed!

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