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  • has life turned out the way you expected?

    Salaams peeps, so I was wondering has life turned out the way you expected?

    It certainly hasn't for me, I don't really know what I expected it to be like but I suppose it's qadr Allah

  • #2
    Walaikum asalaam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

    In some areas yes but not really how I expected in other area.

    Alhumdulillah though, as Allah swt is the best of Planners.
    Last edited by Mintchocchip; 12-06-19, 11:37 PM.

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    • #3
      Wa alaykum salaam wa rahmatullah

      no, not at all, Subhanallah. I would never in a million years have imagined that things would turn out to be the way they are for me today. Qadr Allah
      https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Mintchocchip View Post
        Walaikum asalaam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

        In some areas yes but not really how I expected in other area.

        Alhumdulillah though, as Allah swt is the best of Planners.

        Life is a journey of self-discovery.

        The moments of happiness are short lived, as are the moments of sadness.

        Trials are unexpected.

        No one 'expects' to ever be faced with financial issues, or health issues, or divorce, or infertility, or bad relationships with others.

        No one 'expects' to find it a struggle to get through the day.

        It's probably because as a child/young person, our experiences are limited, or we are exposed to less, or have been protected by our parents.

        You're right - Allaah is the best of Planners. There is Wisdom behind everything.

        More often than not, we fail to see the blessings, and are consumed by what we don't have.




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        • #5
          Not at all, Iíve been hit in ways I didnít think were possible. This is how you know Allah is definitely in control as he knows where your heart truly lies and how to guide it. One thing we have to realise is everything from Allah(SWT) is a mercy, even the pain.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by Mintchocchip
            Walaikum asalaam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

            In some areas yes but not really how I expected in other area.

            Alhumdulillah though, as Allah swt is the best of Planners.
            You're right sister Allah Is the best of planners

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Layla_
              Wa alaykum salaam wa rahmatullah

              no, not at all, Subhanallah. I would never in a million years have imagined that things would turn out to be the way they are for me today. Qadr Allah
              The way life takes you is quite amazing

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Indefinable
                Originally posted by Mintchocchip View Post
                Walaikum asalaam wa rahmatullah wa barakatuhu

                In some areas yes but not really how I expected in other area.

                Alhumdulillah though, as Allah swt is the best of Planners.

                Life is a journey of self-discovery.

                The moments of happiness are short lived, as are the moments of sadness.

                Trials are unexpected.

                No one 'expects' to ever be faced with financial issues, or health issues, or divorce, or infertility, or bad relationships with others.

                No one 'expects' to find it a struggle to get through the day.

                It's probably because as a child/young person, our experiences are limited, or we are exposed to less, or have been protected by our parents.

                You're right - Allaah is the best of Planners. There is Wisdom behind everything.

                More often than not, we fail to see the blessings, and are consumed by what we don't have.



                Life is defo a soul searching journey

                Sometimes it's hard to see the blessings when your sense of judgment is clouded

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by FKY
                  Not at all, I’ve been hit in ways I didn’t think were possible. This is how you know Allah is definitely in control as he knows where your heart truly lies and how to guide it. One thing we have to realise is everything from Allah(SWT) is a mercy, even the pain.
                  True Allah knows where your heart lies and you can't lie to Allah

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                  • #10
                    I never held any particular expectations to begin with ...and I still don't

                    It is impossible to know what the future may hold.

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                    • #11
                      Walaykum salam,

                      When I was growing up, I had certain expectations about my life.  I started looking for someone to marry from the final year of my degree onwards.  I intended to get married during my twenties and I should at least be pregnant with my first child by the time I'm 30- that was the plan anyway.  Part of the plan was to adopt a child as well as raise my own kids.  I didn't expect to have a lucrative career and didn't have work ambitions (beyond earning halal rizq)- having my own family was my ambition cos I believed the real hard work is in raising children.

                      As you all know, none of that ever happened.  My life was pretty much flushed down the toilet by the time I was 29 and I haven't recovered since.  The first 5 years of illness, I frantically spent much of my time researching various treatments and paid huge sums of money on various medications and supplements as well as making dietary and lifestyle changes.  I believed that my plans were on hold and that thoroughly treating this would lead to my health recovering sufficiently to be able to have some independence, run a household and be in a position to marry and start a family (ie all the stuff I expected I'd do in a marriage)- but none of that happened.

                      Around five years ago, after much soul searching, I realised I need to adjust my expectations and accept that I wont have children- in fact I shouldn't have children as I'm in no fit state to take on that sort of responsibility.  I had to re-evaluate what I wanted out of life and I decided I still wanted to get married, just that it wouldn't be the sort of marriage I'd envisioned before I became ill because I can't take care of a home, do cooking and cleaning etc or have kids but that shouldn't mean being deprived of companionship that goes with being in a marriage.  It took me a while to realise the only offers I'll ever get in this life are of zina as that's all I'm considered worthy of- I find that infuriating.  I wont pretend that I never considered it; when the doors to halal options are all slammed shut and double locked, it's natural to ask what other options are there.  I hate being single.  It was fine in my twenties as I was young and could devote my time to other things and could envision a future for myself- now it's just lonely and frustrating.

                      Now I'm at a point of trying to convince myself that I have a husband waiting for me in Jannah and it's just a case of getting there.  I think I've wasted too many years holding on to false hopes in this life, first it was false hope that I'd recover, then false hope that a good man could exist in this world who is worthy of me and my time.  I don't have expectations or hope about such things anymore.  I'm learning to accept that I don't have a future.   
                      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by MyUsernameIs... View Post
                        I never held any particular expectations to begin with ...and I still don't

                        It is impossible to know what the future may hold.
                        thats true only Allah swt knows the future

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by neelu View Post
                          Walaykum salam,

                          When I was growing up, I had certain expectations about my life.¬* I started looking for someone to marry from the final year of my degree onwards.¬* I intended to get married during my twenties and I should at least be pregnant with my first child by the time I'm 30- that was the plan anyway.¬* Part of the plan was to adopt a child as well as raise my own kids.¬* I didn't expect to have a lucrative career and didn't have work ambitions (beyond earning halal rizq)- having my own family was my ambition cos I believed the real hard work is in raising children.

                          As you all know, none of that ever happened.¬* My life was pretty much flushed down the toilet by the time I was 29 and I haven't recovered since.¬* The first 5 years of illness, I frantically spent much of my time researching various treatments and paid huge sums of money on various medications and supplements as well as making dietary and lifestyle changes.¬* I believed that my plans were on hold and that thoroughly treating this would lead to my health recovering sufficiently to be able to have some independence, run a household and be in a position to marry and start a family (ie all the stuff I expected I'd do in a marriage)- but none of that happened.

                          Around five years ago, after much soul searching, I realised I need to adjust my expectations and accept that I wont have children- in fact I shouldn't have children as I'm in no fit state to take on that sort of responsibility.¬* I had to re-evaluate what I wanted out of life and I decided I still wanted to get married, just that it wouldn't be the sort of marriage I'd envisioned before I became ill because I can't take care of a home, do cooking and cleaning etc or have kids but that shouldn't mean being deprived of companionship that goes with being in a marriage.¬* It took me a while to realise the only offers I'll ever get in this life are of zina as that's all I'm considered worthy of- I find that infuriating.¬* I wont pretend that I never considered it; when the doors to halal options are all slammed shut and double locked, it's natural to ask what other options are there.¬* I hate being single.¬* It was fine in my twenties as I was young and could devote my time to other things and could envision a future for myself- now it's just lonely and frustrating.

                          Now I'm at a point of trying to convince myself that I have a husband waiting for me in Jannah and it's just a case of getting there.¬* I think I've wasted too many years holding on to false hopes in this life, first it was false hope that I'd recover, then false hope that a good man could exist in this world who is worthy of me and my time.¬* I don't have expectations or hope about such things anymore.¬* I'm learning to accept that I don't have a future. ¬*¬*
                          i think we all hold on to false hopes here and there, i think thats part of life

                          im truly sorry to hear about the difficulties youve been through, you must be very strong to have got through it so far

                          frustration is defo something that i feel a lot too,
                          sometimes its because of my situation, sometimes its because of my decisions

                          everything is Qadr Allah but sometimes its a bitter pill to swallow

                          p.s how did your pip appeal go?
                          Last edited by Simply_Logical; 13-06-19, 06:23 PM.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Expected life to be awful, somehow it turned out awful... Self fulfilling prophecies at some subconsciousness level?

                            Adding some perspective to a long story but keeping it short, was speaking to someone who said to me "Your life is awful, how are you doing this"? Their exact words were "The average person in your situation would probably be in a mental hospital by now because they would not be able to cope". According to me, my life is okay Alhumdulillah, according to others, they would rather die than to have my life. Just puts things into perspective, I've had worse, my current situation is a million times better than it was, but for others, my current situation would be unbearable for the average person.
                            Last edited by oshirowanen; 13-06-19, 06:56 PM.

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                            • #15
                              I went to Citizens advice bureau and they wrote a letter on my behalf to say we want a PIP appeal.  We've since received an acknowledgement of receipt of that letter but I hear there's a backlog so I might not get an actual hearing date till several months or a year from now.  

                              Originally posted by Simply_Logical View Post

                              i think we all hold on to false hopes here and there, i think thats part of life

                              im truly sorry to hear about the difficulties youve been through, you must be very strong to have got through it so far

                              frustration is defo something that i feel a lot too,
                              sometimes its because of my situation, sometimes its because of my decisions

                              everything is Qadr Allah but sometimes its a bitter pill to swallow

                              p.s how did your pip appeal go?
                               
                              The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                              Comment

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