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  • Feeling confused...

    Sallams..

    Maybe one of you can advise me or give me clarity..

    My life has been nothing but challenging. From suffering with an alcoholic father, to being homeless temporarily, battling depression and suicidal thoughts from 13 years old. I got to a place where I finished uni, found someone to marry, and till last year really found my deen again. Started praying tahhajud daily and all the compulsory actions required.

    A year later, everything that could of possibly gone wrong has.. I'm back to square one, things have happened out of the blue constantly, to the point its brought me to my knees.. one positive I saw was I'm making dua now constantly combined with my new found Imaan. To the point I prayed tahhajud every single day, searched for the hour on dua acceptance on a Friday every week, made dua every time I travelled or it rained etc etc..

    I'm now at a point where I literally cant take it anymore.. I just can't continue fighting anymore..I've let everyone down and I'm just so confused..I thought having graduated and built myself up and now having rediscovered my love for Islam things were going onwards and upwards, but since then my life has come crashing down to pieces, and I'm left here broken and utterly confused..

    Jzk.

  • #2
    Wa alaikum salaam.

    I don't know what to advise other than keep up the good practices you are doing now. After each salaat, do 100 istighfar, and 33 subhanAllah, 33 Alhamdulilah and 34 Allahu Akbar dhikrs, that will help you in ur worldly goals.

    My relative did this and keeps having good dreams indicating that a lot of good is coming their way.

    Be patient akhi, and have tawakkul and just accept the past but build for the future. Could you give a general overview of what this issue is

    Is it wealth related or health? Just so we can give specific advice.

    I also think it could be ayn or those type of issues, make sure to do morning and evening adhkar and read the 3 quls three times each before bed and after every salaat.

    I will make dua for u and urge anyone reading this thread to do so too.
    وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

    And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


    أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

    Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


    Please take a look at my travel booking website : https://destinationfindertravel.com/

    Please take a look at my blog : http://thinkingmuslima.blogspot.co.uk/

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    • #3
      After graduating from University did you get a job?

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      • #4
        Originally posted by lunar View Post
        After graduating from University did you get a job?
        Yeah got a job in the city, really well paying. But literally everything that could of gone wrong went wrong there too. I tried my hardest to succeed, started going in an hour before work started and leaving at 8pm. I was treated massively different because I was Asian according to senior managers who spoke to me in private. At the end I didn't pass probation because 'I didnt sit at the front of the table' and things like that. Like I said everything that could of gone wrong went wrong.. to the point I was a really confident person, I've lost all my confidence.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post
          Wa alaikum salaam.

          I don't know what to advise other than keep up the good practices you are doing now. After each salaat, do 100 istighfar, and 33 subhanAllah, 33 Alhamdulilah and 34 Allahu Akbar dhikrs, that will help you in ur worldly goals.

          My relative did this and keeps having good dreams indicating that a lot of good is coming their way.

          Be patient akhi, and have tawakkul and just accept the past but build for the future. Could you give a general overview of what this issue is

          Is it wealth related or health? Just so we can give specific advice.

          I also think it could be ayn or those type of issues, make sure to do morning and evening adhkar and read the 3 quls three times each before bed and after every salaat.

          I will make dua for u and urge anyone reading this thread to do so too.
          Please do make dua for me...

          I'm the eldest of 6 siblings, our father is wayward..we dont have support from anyone, his family have only chosen to start supporting him. We have no other family, or anyone who can help me/Us.

          It's my responsibility to help marry my sisters off aswell as provide for my mum. But also get married myself somehow.. I do dhikr alhamdullilah and istigfar but honestly I just can't take it anymore..

          Comment


          • #6
            May Allah make things easy for you. I can really relate to how you're feeling.

            This is excellent advice, please watch it:

             

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            • #7
              Assalamu alaykum

              subhanallah, May Allah ease your affairs and rectify your situation. Ameen ya rabb

              i would advise you to do your daily adhkaar without fail. Do ruqya on yourself - this can be done by cupping the hands and lightly spitting in them (not so saliva is expelled please see YouTube for tutorials) and then reciting Ayatul Kursi and the three quls and then wiping your hands over your body including the face three times

              When Allah loves a slave he tests them with trials if we bare with patience during such trials then Allah promises us a great reward

              never under estimate the good that you are doing in supporting your family and providing for your mum. Wallahi these are deeds which carry great reward and always continue with these actions with sincerity and your reward will be with Allah¬*

              Akhi, with regard to the job that you got then sometimes ¬*we may love a thing and itís bad for us or we may hate a thing and itís good for us, and Allah knows best and we do not. Accept that rizq is from Allah and it is already written down. Whatever your rizq is to be has been determined by Allah so accept that this job was not for you and move on Insha allah. It is from the wisdom & decree of Allah that this job was not meant to be all you can do is bare with patience and be optimistic that Allah has something better for you in store.¬*

              its not uncommon for Shaytaan to use a persons trials and tribulations as a way in which to make them lose hope in Allah and to become hopeless. If we knew the weight and value of our trials on the day of judgement we would wish that we had more. Instead of thinking that you canít take things anymore, accept whatís happened in the past and move on, let it go. Itís hard I do not dispute that but accept Qadr and move forward. Continue to make dua to Allah and be optimistic of your reward and of whatís to come.¬*
              https://islamicgemsandpearls.wordpress.com

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              • #8
                May Allah make things easy for you.¬*


                For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.( Ash-sharh: 5)¬*

                Inshaallah

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Farah. A View Post
                  May Allah make things easy for you.¬*


                  For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.( Ash-sharh: 5)¬*

                  Inshaallah
                  Ameen..

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Layla_ View Post
                    Assalamu alaykum

                    subhanallah, May Allah ease your affairs and rectify your situation. Ameen ya rabb

                    i would advise you to do your daily adhkaar without fail. Do ruqya on yourself - this can be done by cupping the hands and lightly spitting in them (not so saliva is expelled please see YouTube for tutorials) and then reciting Ayatul Kursi and the three quls and then wiping your hands over your body including the face three times

                    When Allah loves a slave he tests them with trials if we bare with patience during such trials then Allah promises us a great reward

                    never under estimate the good that you are doing in supporting your family and providing for your mum. Wallahi these are deeds which carry great reward and always continue with these actions with sincerity and your reward will be with Allah¬*

                    Akhi, with regard to the job that you got then sometimes ¬*we may love a thing and itís bad for us or we may hate a thing and itís good for us, and Allah knows best and we do not. Accept that rizq is from Allah and it is already written down. Whatever your rizq is to be has been determined by Allah so accept that this job was not for you and move on Insha allah. It is from the wisdom & decree of Allah that this job was not meant to be all you can do is bare with patience and be optimistic that Allah has something better for you in store.¬*

                    its not uncommon for Shaytaan to use a persons trials and tribulations as a way in which to make them lose hope in Allah and to become hopeless. If we knew the weight and value of our trials on the day of judgement we would wish that we had more. Instead of thinking that you canít take things anymore, accept whatís happened in the past and move on, let it go. Itís hard I do not dispute that but accept Qadr and move forward. Continue to make dua to Allah and be optimistic of your reward and of whatís to come.¬*
                    Jazakullah¬*

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Walaykum salam,

                      I don't want you to think I'm trivialising your situation by saying this, but ups and downs are part of life. Things started looking up for you and it seems from your post like you were expecting that to be a permanent thing- nothing is permanent in this life. If I'd seen a post like yours ten years ago, I would've said it's just one of those things that you've had a run of bad luck and you're just being tested and that could be true, but now I'd also suspect the possibility of ayn and suggest keeping up with ruqya.

                      There's an ayah of Quran that translates as; did you think you could say 'I believe' and wont be tested?
                      Learn to expect challenges in life and in this context I prefer to say challenges rather than hardships, cos with hardships sometimes the only thing you can do is just endure it till it's over but sabr doesn't just mean patience, it also means persevering and finding a way to keep going in spite of it. Calling it a challenge rather than a hardship is like saying there's a mountain in the way of your life goals, but instead of lamenting the obstacle, you assess it and make a plan to overcome it. Part of overcoming such challenges is to leave the results to Allah (swt). Your purpose in this life is to obey Allah (swt), to make an effort and leave the results of your efforts to Him. You might get what you want or you might not but in retaining that approach you earn more in the akhirah regardless of whether your wishes in this life are granted or not and that should be our ultimate life goal as Muslims.

                      I personally think you're putting too much pressure on yourself and over burdening yourself with too many responsibilities at once. Focussing too much on your long term future is just causing too much stress in your life and you don't need that. I understand you have a lot of responsibility and you sadly have a terrible father to deal with, but my point is to just deal with the here and now. Right now look at the short term. For the next 1-2 years focus on finding a more suitable job; I don't necessarily mean suited to your qualifications, I mean suited to you as a person who is Muslim and trying to live your life the right way. There is so much prejudice in this society that your qualifications and merits as a good employee are not good enough. Please don't take this the wrong way but I believe working extra long hours was the wrong approach- you don't get appreciation for that, you get taken for granted and you don't necessarily earn respect that way. Find a workplace that suits you better where you feel respected and are earning halal rizq- that should come first even if it might mean earning a bit less than before, but feeling more secure, respected and confident in the workplace is more important than a bigger pay cheque.

                      I'm saying focus on the next year or two because that means you're dealing with bitesize smaller responsibilities and more achievable goals. If you worry about the long term of how your sisters will get married and so on, that is too much for one young person to take on single handedly on top of everything else. When your younger siblings grow up inshaAllah they'll also become responsible and start working themselves and can start sharing these responsibilities with you so then you wont have to manage all this on your own and they'll be in a position to contribute to the running costs of the household and the family weddings. Also try to instill in them the mindset of having realistic expectations about marriage, how Islamically it's better to keep things simple and they should never expect you to take a loan in order for them to get married, but aside from that you understand that it's reasonable for them to want a nice wedding where they get to wear good clothes and eat nice food.... just don't make it about keeping up with the Joneses having 600 guests, flashy ice sculptures and a dowry that includes 5 gold jewelry sets or anything like that.

                      Just saw this post on fb and thought it's so relevant; hope it helps
                      https://www.facebook.com/colin.turne...42458902654716
                      The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

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