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  • Originally posted by Medic View Post
    Think I'm gna youtube how to make daal and make some daal.
    Daal is easy. What kind of daal?

    Just make the tarka with butter, crushed garlic, ginger, tomato puree, add in herbs etc.


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    • Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

      Daal is easy. What kind of daal?

      Just make the tarka with butter, crushed garlic, ginger, tomato puree, add in herbs etc.

      I made chana daal.

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      • Originally posted by Medic View Post

        I made chana daal.
        Did it turn out alright?

        I'm making shepherd's pie today.

        Comment


        • .
          Last edited by AmantuBillahi; 09-10-19, 03:33 PM.

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          • I ordered from foodpanda if anyone is wondering.

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            • Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

              He doesn't have any problems with the things you mentioned.

              I am critical in some areas, but a lot of people are telling me these things don't matter and they included hijrah. I don't think those reasons would be enough to reject someone over, but I am not totally sure.

              I've even been told that I'm looking for something negative when I point out things I wasn't happy with, and these things deal with character. This makes me feel confused about who to take advice from based on what others have said about previous suitors. People can be very polarized and make someone out to look like an angel, but later on change the tune of what they're saying. It feels like it's all or nothing with them. I would have made a huge mistake if I married people they previously reccomended.

              The advice people give changes a lot. One day I'm told to not enter a marriage when I have doubts so I should just reject him, and the next I'm told that all these doubts are from shaytan because he wants to prevent me from something good.

              Travelling was the biggest problem for me, anyway. I'm very, very confused. I heard that people like him only come around once and I can end up regretting this for the rest of my life. Just as I was going to ask someome to tell him that I don't think this will work out, someone came to tall to me and made this point and mentioned that the kids will be fine if the mother is good, and how most people they knew who made hijrah came back. But they also said the US is the best place to raise kids because we have freedom. I am so, so confused.

              The brother is a Somali immigrant from Kenya so his idea of the east and the west is different from mine.

              Anyway, I'm going to talk to him tomorrow and I guess I'll bring this up again.

              Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuhu sister

              i dont think you should rush into making a decision fast i think u should give yourself time to do istakharaah and invoke Allah s help and guidance regarding this because marrige is a big decision that u need to be 100% sure before u make any decisions. The fact that the brother has many qualities is good mashaAllah but if u are not satisfied in many aspects then is best to wait. Yes hijrah is not a reason why to reject someone bc we dont know what will the futurw bring, if Allah has put khayr in hijrah for u then no worries it will happen it Allah has put khayr for u in the west then is from Allah He knows were u will be at the end so just make intention n Allah will take care of you inshaAllah.

              before you speak to him do 2 rakaats nafl and ask Allah to guide you in making the best choice n to make your heart content in the decision you make. Ask Allah to help you make the best decision that will be khayr for you and that will keep you fast in islam inshaAllah
              i will make lots of dua for you.

              i was in the same situation n is not easy especially when many people are saying different things. I rely in salat tahajjud n i cry n begged Allah to send to me the right person for marrige. Alhamdulillah that
              was very helpful.

              may Allah help you make the right the decision n bless you in that the decision you make ameen

              Comment


              • I posted my "Last thing I remember" story (from the Ummah story writing competition) on a non Muslim forum a few days ago and so far got really good positive feedback. I'm quite happy that the response has been so good :)
                The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Indefinable View Post

                  Did it turn out alright?

                  I'm making shepherd's pie today.
                  It was okay but I definitely went wrong somewhere as my mums version is better.

                  Comment



                  • IK speaks out strongly against rishvat and milavat in our personal and business dealings but in International relations he accepted Chinese investment as rishvat in exchange for his silence on Muslims in concentration camps and their millions of stolen children.

                    ^I wrote that comment on another forum a few days ago and wanted to share it somewhere. Most of my family practically worship IK so if I posted it to my page, it'll just go nuts (I do criticise him in my timeline posts but not usually in as strong terms as this).
                    The Lyme Disease pandemic: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5u73ME4sVU

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

                      He doesn't have any problems with the things you mentioned.

                      I am critical in some areas, but a lot of people are telling me these things don't matter and they included hijrah. I don't think those reasons would be enough to reject someone over, but I am not totally sure.

                      I've even been told that I'm looking for something negative when I point out things I wasn't happy with, and these things deal with character. This makes me feel confused about who to take advice from based on what others have said about previous suitors. People can be very polarized and make someone out to look like an angel, but later on change the tune of what they're saying. It feels like it's all or nothing with them. I would have made a huge mistake if I married people they previously reccomended.

                      The advice people give changes a lot. One day I'm told to not enter a marriage when I have doubts so I should just reject him, and the next I'm told that all these doubts are from shaytan because he wants to prevent me from something good.

                      Travelling was the biggest problem for me, anyway. I'm very, very confused. I heard that people like him only come around once and I can end up regretting this for the rest of my life. Just as I was going to ask someome to tell him that I don't think this will work out, someone came to tall to me and made this point and mentioned that the kids will be fine if the mother is good, and how most people they knew who made hijrah came back. But they also said the US is the best place to raise kids because we have freedom. I am so, so confused.

                      The brother is a Somali immigrant from Kenya so his idea of the east and the west is different from mine.

                      Anyway, I'm going to talk to him tomorrow and I guess I'll bring this up again.
                      What exactly are your views on Hijra if you don't mind me asking? Is refusing to make Hijra a "dealbreaker" for you? And how exactly does that work, do you give them a specific timeframe they're suppose to meet, or are you content with Hijra being a future goal?

                      Also, is it common for brothers who plan on making Hijra in the short future to marry a woman from the land he's making Hijra from?
                      Last edited by AmantuBillahi; 09-10-19, 10:11 PM.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by .khayriyyah. View Post

                        He doesn't have any problems with the things you mentioned.

                        I am critical in some areas, but a lot of people are telling me these things don't matter and they included hijrah. I don't think those reasons would be enough to reject someone over, but I am not totally sure.

                        I've even been told that I'm looking for something negative when I point out things I wasn't happy with, and these things deal with character. This makes me feel confused about who to take advice from based on what others have said about previous suitors. People can be very polarized and make someone out to look like an angel, but later on change the tune of what they're saying. It feels like it's all or nothing with them. I would have made a huge mistake if I married people they previously reccomended.

                        The advice people give changes a lot. One day I'm told to not enter a marriage when I have doubts so I should just reject him, and the next I'm told that all these doubts are from shaytan because he wants to prevent me from something good.

                        Travelling was the biggest problem for me, anyway. I'm very, very confused. I heard that people like him only come around once and I can end up regretting this for the rest of my life. Just as I was going to ask someome to tell him that I don't think this will work out, someone came to tall to me and made this point and mentioned that the kids will be fine if the mother is good, and how most people they knew who made hijrah came back. But they also said the US is the best place to raise kids because we have freedom. I am so, so confused.

                        The brother is a Somali immigrant from Kenya so his idea of the east and the west is different from mine.

                        Anyway, I'm going to talk to him tomorrow and I guess I'll bring this up again.
                        If I was in your place I would do the following:

                        1. Verify his Aqeedah
                        2. Determine whether he's capable of protecting his children from the society he refuses to make Hijra from
                        3. Ask him if he'd be willing to reconsider making Hijra in the future or is he completely against the idea?
                        4. Ask him which direction he plans on leading his children towards. Does he aspire for them to become Tulab al-Ilm, or does he give them the freedom to choose whatever they like? If he's kind of lax about their future, then question him on how he views college loans and Riba

                        If the brother's only fault is that he doesn't plan on making Hijra right at this moment, then this should be overlooked considering his other exceptional qualities.

                        And I think it's possible to establish a strong religious family out here if you have 2 dedicated parents who are aware of the Fitna their children will be exposed to and strive hard to protect them. Now will this continue generation after generation in Dar al-Kiufr? Probably not. But Muslims shouldn't be raising their children to think that Dar al-Kufr is their actual home anyway.
                        Last edited by AmantuBillahi; 10-10-19, 12:34 AM.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post

                          Would you consider ruqya at all sister?
                          Tbh this problem wouldn't have occured if I spoke about my negativity before. Doing ruqya would have felt 'mindless' at that point although it would have helped with general spiritualness i guess (i don't truly feel this because im stuck in this place mentally and need to sort that out first). I still think it can help but it's not constructive if i don't figure out or at least gain some sort of understanding or closure. I've kind of (definitely) paused at this point because it's not going anywhere and I hate constantly feeling anxiety that intensely.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by usernametaken View Post

                            Tbh this problem wouldn't have occured if I spoke about my negativity before. Doing ruqya would have felt 'mindless' at that point although it would have helped with general spiritualness i guess (i don't truly feel this because im stuck in this place mentally and need to sort that out first). I still think it can help but it's not constructive if i don't figure out or at least gain some sort of understanding or closure. I've kind of (definitely) paused at this point because it's not going anywhere and I hate constantly feeling anxiety that intensely.
                            Here is a dua that can help you to get ease:

                            “O Allah! There is nothing easy except that which You make easy; and You make the difficult, if You wish, easy (Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja`altahu sahla wa anta taj`al ul-hazna idha shi’ta sahla).”
                            وَاقْصِدْ فِي مَشْيِكَ وَاغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ الْأَصْوَاتِ لَصَوْتُ الْحَمِيرِ - 31:19

                            And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys."


                            أَلَمْ تَرَوْا أَنَّ اللَّهَ سَخَّرَ لَكُم مَّا فِي السَّمَاوَاتِ وَمَا فِي الْأَرْضِ وَأَسْبَغَ عَلَيْكُمْ نِعَمَهُ ظَاهِرَةً وَبَاطِنَةً ۗ وَمِنَ النَّاسِ مَن يُجَادِلُ فِي اللَّهِ بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ وَلَا هُدًى وَلَا كِتَابٍ مُّنِيرٍ - 31:20

                            Do you not see that Allah has made subject to you whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth and amply bestowed upon you His favors, [both] apparent and unapparent? But of the people is he who disputes about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an enlightening Book [from Him].


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                            • Originally posted by LailaTheMuslim View Post

                              Here is a dua that can help you to get ease:

                              “O Allah! There is nothing easy except that which You make easy; and You make the difficult, if You wish, easy (Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja`altahu sahla wa anta taj`al ul-hazna idha shi’ta sahla).”
                              I can't just read duas. I guess my approach is different because I need to know what to think because all of this started with me losing track of thought. So i need to 'reverse' it. Jazak Allah khair. You could be right but my approach doesn't see this making me feel better.
                              ruqya...duas, same thing for me.
                              Last edited by usernametaken; 10-10-19, 02:21 AM.

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                              • ....
                                Last edited by aelmo; 10-10-19, 06:52 AM.

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