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I said no to a rishta due to my circumstances

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  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Originally posted by Curtains View Post
    Jazakhallah khair to Saif-Uddin and msmoorad for your wonderful advice. Inshallah in ramadhan I will continue to pray to Allah swt and think about a decision of telling my wali or not. In the meantime I will focus on prayer

    Zizizou- jazakhallah for your attempt to try and console. Yes it was a poor decision but I know why I did it and what I was going through. Inshallah if I知 ever at a really lowpoint in life I can still make decisions clearly.

    Remember me in your dua
    Well done, good option

    Take your time and then tell your wali if he will reconsider asking the other family and explaining to them why you had to turn it down previously

    All the best

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Do not worry people

    I am here, I am a real aunty and I wear salwaar kameez for authenticity just like other aunties who wear traditional ethnic clothing from their culture.

    A brief background about myself:

    -- I am qualified, I have a marriage certificate to prove it. You will have to check if it's fake or not - meh
    - I have been an aunty for the last 10-11 years I think. Giving advice to my nephews and nieces
    they are young and so am I.
    -I am sure I have helped people on the forum
    -I only give honest advice
    -i get a bit passionate

    That's that

    To the op now

    Lmso

    Leave a comment:


  • Ya'sin
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post
    The agony aunts have already graced this thread with their presence.

    -_-
    Agony uncles lol

    Leave a comment:


  • shay5
    replied
    Originally posted by Curtains View Post
    Jazakhallah khair to Saif-Uddin and msmoorad for your wonderful advice. Inshallah in ramadhan I will continue to pray to Allah swt and think about a decision of telling my wali or not. In the meantime I will focus on prayer

    Zizizou- jazakhallah for your attempt to try and console. Yes it was a poor decision but I know why I did it and what I was going through. Inshallah if I知 ever at a really lowpoint in life I can still make decisions clearly.

    Remember me in your dua
    You said you had a good first meeting, we're in a time where its difficult to find someone good to marry so my advice would be to either ask your wali or get a male relative to message the guy and see if he is willing to meet for a 2nd meeting. Wish you well...
    Last edited by shay5; 11-05-18, 05:33 PM.

    Leave a comment:


  • Curtains
    replied
    Jazakhallah khair to Saif-Uddin and msmoorad for your wonderful advice. Inshallah in ramadhan I will continue to pray to Allah swt and think about a decision of telling my wali or not. In the meantime I will focus on prayer

    Zizizou- jazakhallah for your attempt to try and console. Yes it was a poor decision but I know why I did it and what I was going through. Inshallah if I知 ever at a really lowpoint in life I can still make decisions clearly.

    Remember me in your dua

    Leave a comment:


  • zi-zizou
    replied
    Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post
    The agony aunts have already graced this thread with their presence.

    -_-
    I know right, we make this forum what it is.

    -_-

    Leave a comment:


  • Abu 'Abdullaah
    replied
    The agony aunts have already graced this thread with their presence.

    -_-

    Leave a comment:


  • zi-zizou
    replied
    You made a decision, a poor one in my opinion. Your wali will not make a move so move on.

    Leave a comment:


  • msmoorad
    replied
    salaams to all

    i think u should get someone to contact him & inform him about whatever reason you had for saying NO the first time & they should tell him that if he is still interested in you, he should initiate contact again.

    if u dont give the reason why u said no the first time, he will think that you are just messing around & feel it would be better for him to stay away from you.

    and Allah ta'ala knows best
    jazakallah

    Leave a comment:


  • Saif-Uddin
    replied
    Originally posted by Curtains View Post
    As

    I知 new to this and currently seeking advice.

    6 months ago I was introduced to a guy for marriage through family and met him. Things between us went well, I liked him and hoped for a second meeting. however, The same day of meeting him I received some really upsetting news and I was in a really difficult place. I was so upset, my mind could not comprehend much at the time and I just needed time and space. Unfortunately I was under pressure to give an answer if I wanted to peruse with this guy or not. Understandbly I was so distraught and was going through so much at the time I said no because I needed to get through what I was.

    Months have gone by and Alhamdulilah I知 in such a better place by the grace of Allah swt. Now that I am thinking clearly I keep regretting saying no to this rishta even though I know it wasn稚 my fault it was my situation. ive been feeling really upset and do not know who to speak to.

    i know my family will not accept going back to the guy and would feel silly if we asked for another chance. I don稚 even know if he liked me because my Family had said no before he said anything. But our meeting was very positive and he was very interested. I am also embarrassed and ashamed to tell my family .

    I see him on social media and wonder if I should message him. I知 seeking advice because it痴 not something I would even do normally. I知 not that kind of person.


    What is your advice, move on or message and see and explain to him that I wasn稚 ready due to circumstance but if he is willing I am to get to know him.

    ofcourse this is a big thing to do and as we were introduced by families it could ruin my name as it seems I知 going back on my decision of no and so on....
    Don't message him on social Media or through any other means, it is not appropriate for a Muslim sister to do that.

    If you feel he was a practicing Muslim man with good character then ask your Wali to contact his Wali.

    Otherwise move on.

    جزاك الله خيرا

    Leave a comment:

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