Ads by Muslim Ad Network

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I said no to a rishta due to my circumstances

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    I said no to a rishta due to my circumstances

    As

    Iím new to this and currently seeking advice.

    6 months ago I was introduced to a guy for marriage through family and met him. Things between us went well, I liked him and hoped for a second meeting. however, The same day of meeting him I received some really upsetting news and I was in a really difficult place. I was so upset, my mind could not comprehend much at the time and I just needed time and space. Unfortunately I was under pressure to give an answer if I wanted to peruse with this guy or not. Understandbly I was so distraught and was going through so much at the time I said no because I needed to get through what I was.

    Months have gone by and Alhamdulilah Iím in such a better place by the grace of Allah swt. Now that I am thinking clearly I keep regretting saying no to this rishta even though I know it wasnít my fault it was my situation. ive been feeling really upset and do not know who to speak to.

    i know my family will not accept going back to the guy and would feel silly if we asked for another chance. I donít even know if he liked me because my Family had said no before he said anything. But our meeting was very positive and he was very interested. I am also embarrassed and ashamed to tell my family .

    I see him on social media and wonder if I should message him. Iím seeking advice because itís not something I would even do normally. Iím not that kind of person.


    What is your advice, move on or message and see and explain to him that I wasnít ready due to circumstance but if he is willing I am to get to know him.

    ofcourse this is a big thing to do and as we were introduced by families it could ruin my name as it seems Iím going back on my decision of no and so on....


    #2
    Originally posted by Curtains View Post
    As

    Iím new to this and currently seeking advice.

    6 months ago I was introduced to a guy for marriage through family and met him. Things between us went well, I liked him and hoped for a second meeting. however, The same day of meeting him I received some really upsetting news and I was in a really difficult place. I was so upset, my mind could not comprehend much at the time and I just needed time and space. Unfortunately I was under pressure to give an answer if I wanted to peruse with this guy or not. Understandbly I was so distraught and was going through so much at the time I said no because I needed to get through what I was.

    Months have gone by and Alhamdulilah Iím in such a better place by the grace of Allah swt. Now that I am thinking clearly I keep regretting saying no to this rishta even though I know it wasnít my fault it was my situation. ive been feeling really upset and do not know who to speak to.

    i know my family will not accept going back to the guy and would feel silly if we asked for another chance. I donít even know if he liked me because my Family had said no before he said anything. But our meeting was very positive and he was very interested. I am also embarrassed and ashamed to tell my family .

    I see him on social media and wonder if I should message him. Iím seeking advice because itís not something I would even do normally. Iím not that kind of person.


    What is your advice, move on or message and see and explain to him that I wasnít ready due to circumstance but if he is willing I am to get to know him.

    ofcourse this is a big thing to do and as we were introduced by families it could ruin my name as it seems Iím going back on my decision of no and so on....
    Don't message him on social Media or through any other means, it is not appropriate for a Muslim sister to do that.

    If you feel he was a practicing Muslim man with good character then ask your Wali to contact his Wali.

    Otherwise move on.

    جزاك الله خيرا
    http://www.ilovepalestine.com/campai...imesinGaza.gif

    "It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

    Ė Imam al-Shafiíi (Rahimahullah)

    Comment


      #3
      salaams to all

      i think u should get someone to contact him & inform him about whatever reason you had for saying NO the first time & they should tell him that if he is still interested in you, he should initiate contact again.

      if u dont give the reason why u said no the first time, he will think that you are just messing around & feel it would be better for him to stay away from you.

      and Allah ta'ala knows best
      jazakallah
      Sufyaan Thawri "Whoever is very popular with his relations and neighbours, we suspect him to be compromising in preaching the true teachings of religion."
      very good site for English bayaans in MP3 format-check it out- u wont be disappointed: http://www.musjidnoor.za.net/index.html & http://alhaadi.org.za/majlis-program...downloads.html

      Comment


        #4
        You made a decision, a poor one in my opinion. Your wali will not make a move so move on.

        Comment


          #5
          The agony aunts have already graced this thread with their presence.

          -_-

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post
            The agony aunts have already graced this thread with their presence.

            -_-
            I know right, we make this forum what it is.

            -_-

            Comment


              #7
              Jazakhallah khair to Saif-Uddin and msmoorad for your wonderful advice. Inshallah in ramadhan I will continue to pray to Allah swt and think about a decision of telling my wali or not. In the meantime I will focus on prayer

              Zizizou- jazakhallah for your attempt to try and console. Yes it was a poor decision but I know why I did it and what I was going through. Inshallah if Iím ever at a really lowpoint in life I can still make decisions clearly.

              Remember me in your dua

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by Curtains View Post
                Jazakhallah khair to Saif-Uddin and msmoorad for your wonderful advice. Inshallah in ramadhan I will continue to pray to Allah swt and think about a decision of telling my wali or not. In the meantime I will focus on prayer

                Zizizou- jazakhallah for your attempt to try and console. Yes it was a poor decision but I know why I did it and what I was going through. Inshallah if Iím ever at a really lowpoint in life I can still make decisions clearly.

                Remember me in your dua
                You said you had a good first meeting, we're in a time where its difficult to find someone good to marry so my advice would be to either ask your wali or get a male relative to message the guy and see if he is willing to meet for a 2nd meeting. Wish you well...
                Last edited by shay5; 11-05-18, 05:33 PM.
                ďWhoever wants to purify his heart must prefer Allah over and above his own desires.Ē .

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Abu 'Abdullaah View Post
                  The agony aunts have already graced this thread with their presence.

                  -_-
                  Agony uncles lol

                  'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                  So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Do not worry people

                    I am here, I am a real aunty and I wear salwaar kameez for authenticity just like other aunties who wear traditional ethnic clothing from their culture.

                    A brief background about myself:

                    -- I am qualified, I have a marriage certificate to prove it. You will have to check if it's fake or not - meh
                    - I have been an aunty for the last 10-11 years I think. Giving advice to my nephews and nieces
                    they are young and so am I.
                    -I am sure I have helped people on the forum
                    -I only give honest advice
                    -i get a bit passionate

                    That's that

                    To the op now

                    Lmso
                    'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                    So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by Curtains View Post
                      Jazakhallah khair to Saif-Uddin and msmoorad for your wonderful advice. Inshallah in ramadhan I will continue to pray to Allah swt and think about a decision of telling my wali or not. In the meantime I will focus on prayer

                      Zizizou- jazakhallah for your attempt to try and console. Yes it was a poor decision but I know why I did it and what I was going through. Inshallah if Iím ever at a really lowpoint in life I can still make decisions clearly.

                      Remember me in your dua
                      Well done, good option

                      Take your time and then tell your wali if he will reconsider asking the other family and explaining to them why you had to turn it down previously

                      All the best
                      'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                      So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by shay5 View Post

                        You said you had a good first meeting, we're in a time where its difficult to find someone good to marry so my advice would be to either ask your wali or get a male relative to message the guy and see if he is willing to meet for a 2nd meeting. Wish you well...
                        You're right aunty shay

                        Totally agree with you about the hardships of finding a good spouse

                        My husband is blessed he found me


                        ​​
                        'Whatever it be wherein ye differ, the decision thereof is with Allah: such is Allah my Lord: In Him I trust, and to Him I turn.' The Holy Qu'ran Al Shura (Consultation)

                        So, which of the favours of your lord will you deny? ~ Surah Ar Rahman

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Originally posted by Ya'sin View Post
                          Do not worry people

                          I am here, I am a real aunty and I wear salwaar kameez for authenticity just like other aunties who wear traditional ethnic clothing from their culture.

                          A brief background about myself:

                          -- I am qualified, I have a marriage certificate to prove it. You will have to check if it's fake or not - meh
                          - I have been an aunty for the last 10-11 years I think. Giving advice to my nephews and nieces
                          they are young and so am I.
                          -I am sure I have helped people on the forum
                          -I only give honest advice
                          -i get a bit passionate

                          That's that

                          To the op now

                          Lmso
                          Lol.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            The original, legit UF aunty was Imported_MMS, and hilarious, too. Oh, well, like so many, she doesnít post here anymore.

                            OP, if you want to ask, get someone to do it; if not, no biggie... plenty of fish and all that.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Indeed there are aunties
                              and a couple grandmas

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X